Here are the pregame pressers from UNC head coach
Mack Brown, offensive coordinator
Chip Lindsey, and defensive coordinator
Geoff Collins.
Don’t want to listen. Can somebody provide the Cliff’s Notes version?
Tar Heel Illustrated has partial transcripts and quotes from Brown
here, Lindsey
here, and Collins
here. I'll use some dramatic license in paraphrasing below:
MACK BROWN: I was in a mood after the James Madison game, but I'm not going to be like Roy Williams and compare our team's problems to what's going on in Haiti. If I had to compare the situation to a nation on the island of Hispaniola -- yeah, I looked it up on Wikipedia -- it would be the Dominican Republic. They've got those all-inclusive resorts in Punta Cana. So the food is paid for, and they've got an ice cream truck, and you want to cool down because it's so hot outside. Problem is that the truck's freezing unit is faulty, and all the treats are starting to melt, so you have to settle for a Chipwich that's kinda runny. And you'll need extra napkins to protect yourself against the run. Say, that reminds me of our crappy defense... what was I talking about?
REPORTER: So did you offer to resign? What did you tell the team?
MACK BROWN: Let's talk about Duke. What I said was, "if you all don’t feel like I’m the leader you need, then I’ll go do something else." And they said, "Nah, man, we’re in, let’s go." It’s overwhelming, I wish I hadn’t put them in that spot. That’s all it was.
And if I was going to quit, I would have come in here [on Saturday] and done it. We’re not talking about that anymore, let’s go to Duke.
REPORTER: It seems like there was some confusion about what you said in the locker room. People thought you were quitting. Did they misinterpret you?
MACK BROWN: Yes. I asked them if they wanted new leadership and they said no. I backed away to think about it, I told them, "Let’s go. Let’s go forward. Let’s get ready for Duke" right afterwards. They may have stopped listening by then. I'm told I talk a lot.
REPORTER: Have you spoken with university leadership?
MACK BROWN: I apologized to the athletic director and the chancellor. They were great. They said that if incompetence was grounds for firing a person, they wouldn't have jobs either. The chancellor told he can't read or write! Can you believe that?
REPORTER: Sadly, yes. So, about Duke...
MACK BROWN: Oh, and did you know James Madison was once President? I thought he was just a background guy in the "Hamilton" musical. Say, why is there no college for Alexander Hamilton?
REPORTER: There is. Hamilton College is in the state of New York, between Syracuse and Albany.
MACK BROWN: Do you think we can schedule them?
REPORTER: They play Division III football, Coach.
MACK BROWN: So maybe they won't hang 70 points on us?
By the way, some of this is verbatim. 
www.star.nesdis.noaa.gov
