The longest thread ever

[budwom]

Yes. Please understand I am making fun of men and not women. We would die out as a species if men had to give birth.

And the downside of that would be what?

[ClemmonsDevil]

And the downside of that would be what?

Would be bad for my career! And I'm already bad at it!

[bundabergdevil]

Yes. Please understand I am making fun of men and not women. We would die out as a species if men had to give birth.

This is a true statement


One thing about the birthing process that surprised me was the down time between contractions and pushing. My wife would fall asleep in between so the nurse and I would make small talk about how we both have family in Albuquerque.

[ClemmonsDevil]

This is a true statement


One thing about the birthing process that surprised me was the down time between contractions and pushing. My wife would fall asleep in between so the nurse and I would make small talk about how we both have family in Albuquerque.

I have literally seen and heard it all. Including having a mom tell me to "Stop looking at my stuff." between contractions. I was not looking at her stuff. I have seen plenty of stuff. Plenty.

[ClemmonsDevil]

And I am currently watching the "Choo choo choose me" episode.

[bundabergdevil]

I have literally seen and heard it all. Including having a mom tell me to "Stop looking at my stuff." between contractions. I was not looking at her stuff. I have seen plenty of stuff. Plenty.

Any that said, “Like what you see?”

[ClemmonsDevil]

Any that said, “Like what you see?”

Ha! No. Including the one I married.

On that note! I have been to the delivery of no fewer than 7 girls I dated in the past. That's weird.

[bundabergdevil]

Ha! No. Including the one I married.

On that note! I have been to the delivery of no fewer than 7 girls I dated in the past. That's weird.

That is weird. That would be a good story for a stand up comedian.

[ClemmonsDevil]

That is weird. That would be a good story for a stand up comedian.

So crazy. I wanted to moonwalk out of the room every single time.

[bundabergdevil]

So crazy. I wanted to moonwalk out of the room every single time.

Ever been to The Pennsylvania Hospital's NICU?

[ClemmonsDevil]

Ever been to The Pennsylvania Hospital's NICU?

Lectured at Children's of Philadelphia (CHOP). Been to Einstein and Temple.

[TruBlu]

Is it weird to make mental bets with yourself on which app on iPhone will update first when updating multiple apps? And watching intently to see if you won. Asking for a friend.

[YmoBeThere]

Is it weird to make mental bets with yourself on which app on iPhone will update first when updating multiple apps? And watching intently to see if you won. Asking for a friend.

Only if you pay the counterparty...

[Bostondevil]

I've told the story about getting the epidural with my third child, yes?

The anesthesiology resident is in the room prepping whatever needs to be prepped and it's taking a little while. I eventually ask, "Is everything OK?" Resident (male): Yes, you've got a great anatomy. Husband: That's why I married her! Resident (mortified), begins apologizing profusely. I break down in a fit of giggles and then Me: Honey, stop making me laugh, he's trying to stick a needle in my spine!

This one was T-Bone's birth. He clocked in at 10 pounds 10 ounces. The cord was around his neck. They had to cut it. That was quickly followed by an episode of shoulder dystocia. Dr. Shilling called for help with a shoulder and told me to push as hard as I could. Dana, my delivery nurse (and the only one of the 4 whose name I remember) climbed up on the bed and basically sat on me. We got him out and when I could see the room again, there were 5 extra people I'd never seen before. All I could see of T-Bone was a little foot sticking up. It was the most ungodly shade of blue I have ever seen (and never hope to see again). They place him in the bassinet, cleared his lungs, one cough and pink. From the time they cut the cord to the time he took his first breath, about a minute went by, one of the longest minutes and yet shortest minutes in my life. Because of this experience, Arrow was a scheduled c-section. Arrow clocked in at a measly 10 pounds even. I could have pushed him out, but I won't argue with a good outcome. Glad my only c-section was my last one.

[ClemmonsDevil]

I've told the story about getting the epidural with my third child, yes?

The anesthesiology resident is in the room prepping whatever needs to be prepped and it's taking a little while. I eventually ask, "Is everything OK?" Resident (male): Yes, you've got a great anatomy. Husband: That's why I married her! Resident (mortified), begins apologizing profusely. I break down in a fit of giggles and then Me: Honey, stop making me laugh, he's trying to stick a needle in my spine!

This one was T-Bone's birth. He clocked in at 10 pounds 10 ounces. The cord was around his neck. They had to cut it. That was quickly followed by an episode of shoulder dystocia. Dr. Shilling called for help with a shoulder and told me to push as hard as I could. Dana, my delivery nurse (and the only one of the 4 whose name I remember) climbed up on the bed and basically sat on me. We got him out and when I could see the room again, there were 5 extra people I'd never seen before. All I could see of T-Bone was a little foot sticking up. It was the most ungodly shade of blue I have ever seen (and never hope to see again). They place him in the bassinet, cleared his lungs, one cough and pink. From the time they cut the cord to the time he took his first breath, about a minute went by, one of the longest minutes and yet shortest minutes in my life. Because of this experience, Arrow was a scheduled c-section. Arrow clocked in at a measly 10 pounds even. I could have pushed him out, but I won't argue with a good outcome. Glad my only c-section was my last one.

I would be in that group of 5 people resuscitating the baby. Those term nuchal cords (cord around the neck) are terrifying. Those kids come out absolutely stunned and require vigorous stimulation and sometimes chest compressions and placement of a breathing tube. Dana is the hero in this situation. That's a HELL of a job by her.

[Bostondevil]

I would be in that group of 5 people resuscitating the baby. Those term nuchal cords (cord around the neck) are terrifying. Those kids come out absolutely stunned and require vigorous stimulation and sometimes chest compressions and placement of a breathing tube. Dana is the hero in this situation. That's a HELL of a job by her.

Yep. We sent her flowers.

Also, T-Bone did not need chest compression but he did wind up in the NICU for 2 days. He kept making the noise long enough to get admitted - the one in the lungs that sounds like they might develop pneumonia. And once a baby is in the NICU, they stay for 48 hours, or at least they did when T-Bone was born because that's how long it takes to get the labs back. We knew he was going to be fine after about 6 hours. The pediatric hospitalist told me to call down to the NICU and tell them mine was that "big one". Imagine a 10+ pounder in the NICU. He barely fit in the bassinet.

[ClemmonsDevil]

Yep. We sent her flowers.

Also, T-Bone did not need chest compression but he did wind up in the NICU for 2 days. He kept making the noise long enough to get admitted - the one in the lungs that sounds like they might develop pneumonia. And once a baby is in the NICU, they stay for 48 hours, or at least they did when T-Bone was born because that's how long it takes to get the labs back. We knew he was going to be fine after about 6 hours. The pediatric hospitalist told me to call down to the NICU and tell them mine was that "big one". Imagine a 10+ pounder in the NICU. He barely fit in the bassinet.

Ha! I am consulting on a 318 grammer as we speak. T bone would have looked like a MONSTER next to kids that size. Sounds like transient tachypnea. Usually presents with grunting because of excess fetal lung fluid in the lungs. Generally clears over a few hours. Honestly I don't know how people choose to take care of adults when they could care for babies. Poor career choices.

[YmoBeThere]

Do I really need to keep all the e-mail receipts for songs I downloaded to my iPod in 2009?

[bundabergdevil]

Lectured at Children's of Philadelphia (CHOP). Been to Einstein and Temple.

Ah, plenty of CHOP doctors walking around. That's where we spent January 2020. Wife went into labor on 1/1/20 about 2 months ahead of schedule. Kept her pregnant in the hospital for 9 days then we spent the next 21 in the ICN. Little man's doing great now but wasn't a great time. One weary night while we were holding vigil the nurse's on call got to absolutely having a laugh about something. Both my wife and I are convinced we heard one of them make an absolutely horrible joke about their jobs. Like, the literal worst joke you could make in an ICN. We were both tired and in shock. I told the attending nurse the next day to make sure the nurse in question never got close to our son. She didn't but it made the entire situation even more uncomfortable. The attending wanted to have their internal something or other film us for a testimonial about our experience. Never happened. Weird, weird month and I'm glad its over.

[ClemmonsDevil]

Ah, plenty of CHOP doctors walking around. That's where we spent January 2020. Wife went into labor on 1/1/20 about 2 months ahead of schedule. Kept her pregnant in the hospital for 9 days then we spent the next 21 in the ICN. Little man's doing great now but wasn't a great time. One weary night while we were holding vigil the nurse's on call got to absolutely having a laugh about something. Both my wife and I are convinced we heard one of them make an absolutely horrible joke about their jobs. Like, the literal worst joke you could make in an ICN. We were both tired and in shock. I told the attending nurse the next day to make sure the nurse in question never got close to our son. She didn't but it made the entire situation even more uncomfortable. The attending wanted to have their internal something or other film us for a testimonial about our experience. Never happened. Weird, weird month and I'm glad its over.

Glad he is fine now! So you guys got out right as the pandemic hit.