The longest thread ever

[CathyCA]

We can make it. I'm getting the hang of PWing.

[DukieInKansas]

Sounds like it's time for a party at DIK's place!

If you like snow and single digit temperatures, come on over!

I hate days like today - my house is 1 mile from my office and I had to go to a seminar 20 miles away. It's just not right.

[2535Miles]

We can make it. I'm getting the hang of PWing.

It's easy.

[DukieInKansas]

It's a day surgery center here in Greenville. Her eye doctor is doing cataract surgery on her (and about 40 other people) here today.

I just got kicked out of her cube and sent back to the lobby.

Were you kicked out because you were misbehaving?

I hope everything went well with your mother's surgery.

[2535Miles]

Don't have time to post the screengrab in Two Posts, but I have it ready.

[Turk]

Sloppy in PA today - temps dropping and slush / sleet / snow mix. Probably some freezing tomorrow and school closings for absolutely no reason...

Thus endeth the weather report...

[DukieInKansas]

It's easy.

All it takes is a little help from your friends.

[DukieInKansas]

Sloppy in PA today - temps dropping and slush / sleet / snow mix. Probably some freezing tomorrow and school closings for absolutely no reason...

Thus endeth the weather report...

Which part of PA? I have family in the Allentown and Bradford areas.

[YmoBeThere]

Fantasy Baseball Draft on-line...exciting!

[CathyCA]

Were you kicked out because you were misbehaving?

I hope everything went well with your mother's surgery.

Ah hahahaha!

I was kicked out because they were wheeling her off to the surgical suite and they needed her cube for the next patient.

She's doing very well.

[DukieInKansas]

Ah hahahaha!

I was kicked out because they were wheeling her off to the surgical suite and they needed her cube for the next patient.

She's doing very well.

Glad to hear that she is doing well. You are fortunate to be able to help your mother.

[CathyCA]

Glad to hear that she is doing well. You are fortunate to be able to help your mother.

Truth be told, she's helping me. I'm just happy to be able to return the favor in a small way.

[Lavabe]

Don't have time to post the screengrab in Two Posts, but I have it ready.

Will pass on the word to the head of the "Retire Jimmy's Number Already" campaign.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Will pass on the word to the head of the "Retire Jimmy's Number Already" campaign.

I volunteer to be the chairman of the Retire Jimmy's 34 campaign. I've already lobbied for that for years.

As related on the boards a couple of times in the past, I spoke to Nan K. during halftime of a game early in Mike Dunleavy's junior year. I told her that if we retire 34 for MD after his senior year, it needs to be a double ceremony for JS also. She thought that was an interesting option and would take it into consideration. Of course, Dunleavy left a year too soon for that to happen.

[DukePA]

I volunteer to be the chairman of the Retire Jimmy's 34 campaign. I've already lobbied for that for years.

As related on the boards a couple of times in the past, I spoke to Nan K. during halftime of a game early in Mike Dunleavy's junior year. I told her that if we retire 34 for MD after his senior year, it needs to be a double ceremony for JS also. She thought that was an interesting option and would take it into consideration. Of course, Dunleavy left a year too soon for that to happen.

Then it should be retired for Jimmy only

[YmoBeThere]

Well, noyhing to add but another post to the count.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Then it should be retired for Jimmy only

Of course. Dunleavy hasn't graduated, and he needed a big senior year (NPOY?) to rate jersey retirement.

[DukePA]

Of course. Dunleavy hasn't graduated, and he needed a big senior year (NPOY?) to rate jersey retirement.

Seriously, I've never understood why Jimmy's jersey wasn't retired. I was bummed when Dunleavy left, but would be extremely annoyed if Duke started retiring the jerseys of players who haven't graduated like they do in chapel hole.

[DukePA]

I posted this in the recipe thread, but for those who didn't see it, and in an effort to perfect my rookie PWing skills, here goes:

Chili Cook-off
If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas.
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3."
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting crap-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I
can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crap on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. I am sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, I wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report

[ArkieDukie]

I laughed until I cried! Hysterically funny!