The longest thread ever

[OldPhiKap]

What if we decline to accept the challenge?

Oh, hadn’t thought of that.

[Turk]

I seem to have kicked up a bit of a fuss in the other room.

Yeah, that was odd. Dude only played 11 games for Duke, and people carry on like his jersey should be in the rafters. Maybe I'll go over and have a joust. The reaction was a bit over the top.

[wilson]

Yeah, that was odd. Dude only played 11 games for Duke, and people carry on like his jersey should be in the rafters. Maybe I'll go over and have a joust. The reaction was a bit over the top.

AMEN! I'm pretty mystified as to why so many people want to die on that hill, in the face of pretty clear evidence that he's not the greatest locker room guy.

[YmoBeThere]

If you post, “Arguing with a brick accomplishes no meaningful result,” would that be an ad hominem?

[Turk]

If you post, “Arguing with a brick accomplishes no meaningful result,” would that be an ad hominem?

Only if the brick is made out of turkey bacon.

[Turk]

Turkey sausage is a good substitute for pork sausage.

Turkey bacon is a poor substitute for pork bacon.

Prove me wrong.

Nope. Instead, I'll offer an amicus brief for your consideration.

Point the first: Against my better judgement, I sampled some turkey sausage as part of the best available options in a mediocre low-end Marriott / Starwood breakfast buffet. I was pleasantly surprised, and started my day off on the right foot. Also, some yinzers I know would make a motion to nominate venison sausage as an even better substitute.

Point the second: "Poor" is too polite; "unacceptable" is more accurate. Once upon a time, Mrs. Turk's mum, in well-intentioned concern for her grandchildren's health, unilaterally served up a heapin' helpin' of turkey bacon on a random Sunday long ago. The young Turks, in that precocious pre-school / early grade school age where a child can say absolutely anything with no filters (short of an f-bomb) and get away with it, instantly revolted.

"What's wrong with the bacon, Grandma?" "Nothing, sweetie. It's turkey bacon; just the same as regular bacon." "I don't think so, Grandma. It looks like fake bacon." "Yeah! It's not bacon, it's fakin' bacon!" "We'll call it 'fakin' for short!" Not even the dog would eat it.

[OldPhiKap]

Nope. Instead, I'll offer an amicus brief for your consideration.

Point the first: Against my better judgement, I sampled some turkey sausage as part of the best available options in a mediocre low-end Marriott / Starwood breakfast buffet. I was pleasantly surprised, and started my day off on the right foot. Also, some yinzers I know would also make a motion to nominate venison sausage as an even better substitute.

Point the second: "Poor" is too polite; "unacceptable" is more accurate. Once upon a time, Mrs. Turk's mum, in well-intentioned concern for her grandchildren's health, unilaterally served up a heapin' helpin' of turkey bacon on a random Sunday long ago. The young Turks, in that precocious pre-school / early grade school age where a child can say absolutely anything with no filters (short of an f-bomb) and get away with it, instantly revolted.

"What's wrong with the bacon, Grandma?" "Nothing, sweetie. It's turkey bacon; just the same as regular bacon." "I don't think so, Grandma. It looks like fake bacon." "Yeah! It's not bacon, it's fakin' bacon!" "We'll call it 'fakin' for short!" Not even the dog would eat it.

Arguments accepted, motions granted.

One year at a state bar meeting for several hundred lawyers, the new bar president wanted to start a health initiative. So instead of the usual breakfast buffet spread, they only had turkey bacon as a meat option. The lawyers, in that precocious bellicose hung-over state where they think they can say absolutely anything with no filters (especially an f-bomb) and get away with it, instantly revolted.

The next morning, we had real bacon out there and the turkey bacon was heard of no more.

(Venison everything is great, but I don't hunt so I have to depend on the kindness of others. Venison loin is one of the tastiest things I have ever had).

[Turk]

Alas, the arguments and motions fell on Grandma Turk's deaf ears. To this day, she will still fry up "fakin" whenever we're over there on weekend mornings; she just doesn't need to make very much of it, unless she tries to bury it in some sort of egg / cheese / protein "breakfast casserole."

I didn't realize she was that stubborn, nor did I realize that she passed on that stubbornness gene to her daughter until it was too late. Otherwise, I would have negotiated a completely different pre-nup, and "fakin" would be specifically listed in the items qualifying as grounds for immediate divorce.

[OldPhiKap]

Alas, the arguments and motions fell on Grandma Turk's deaf ears. To this day, she will still fry up "fakin" whenever we're over there on weekend mornings; she just doesn't need to make very much of it, unless she tries to bury it in some sort of egg / cheese / protein "breakfast casserole."

I didn't realize she was that stubborn, nor did I realize that she passed on that stubbornness gene to her daughter until it was too late. Otherwise, I would have negotiated a completely different pre-nup, and "fakin" would be specifically listed in the items qualifying as grounds for immediate divorce.

MrsPK says that if it wasn't for fakin', she wouldn't have gotten through our (near) 20 years of marriage.

Not really sure what she means. I'm sure that I don't plan to ask though.

Now, over to the "Great Endings" thread . . . .

[Mtn.Devil.91.92.01.10.15]

Beef bacon is something amazing I stumbled upon in the last few months at a local butcher shop.

[YmoBeThere]

I reqd somewhere recently that craft beer sales have been falling.

[OldPhiKap]

I reqd somewhere recently that craft beer sales have been falling.

DogfishHead and Sam Adams are merging, I saw yesterday.

[YmoBeThere]

I got into a fight with the pull-down stairs. I didn’t win.

[wilson]

I got into a fight with the pull-down stairs. I didn’t win.

Yikes. Hope you’re ok.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mqO58ATjyoc

[wilson]

I got into a fight with the pull-down stairs. I didn’t win.

Yikes. Hope you’re ok.

[YmoBeThere]

Oh, I'm fine. More of a bruised ego and a cut on my hand. My thumb got pinched in the folding star part causing me to let go. I took an upper cut. Cut in my mouth but it isn't swelling or anything like that.

[tteettimes]

oh, i'm fine. More of a bruised ego and a cut on my hand. My thumb got pinched in the folding star part causing me to let go. I took an upper cut. Cut in my mouth but it isn't swelling or anything like that.

clutz.........

[OldPhiKap]

Happy Mother’s Day to the ladies of the thread!

[weezie]

Aren't you nice?!

Thank you OPK!

[OldPhiKap]

Cooked dinner for MrsPK, another holiday survived.