Originally Posted by
ClemmonsDevil
This is the best moment of my life. And I have children. I have always wanted to compile a meat power ranking. I am going to think way too much about this. Be prepared for this. I'm long-winded about everything, but this is the most important thing I have ever done, and I have intubated well over 2000 babies.
First, I am somewhat torn for the number one food. I can't decide whether the zenith of a particular meat's deliciousness should outweigh the entire body of work. I have crowdsourced this with my meat-a-tarian friends.
Beef has to be #1 after our discussions. Granted it's not as versatile as pork, but the highest highs of brisket, tenderloin, ribeye and just a great burger make it better than pork. Again, I am not going to break this down by most craveable food product (turkey would NEVER make that list and it is a LOOOOOONG list), I am going to approach each specific subset of meat on its own accord. Also, and perhaps this goes against meat orthodoxy, but I am going to delineate Seafood into two groups. Swimmers versus bottom dwellers. While they both inhabit the same ecosystem, I think the individual merits of each and their vast differences warrant such a delineation.
1. Beef (explained above)
2. Pork (pigs are simply a delicious animal. And you can eat the entire damn thing. I would argue that no bite of pork is ever below a 7.5 on a scale of 1-10. Frankly I am shocked pigs aren't extinct because they are so tasty. Somehow supply keeps up with demand.)
3. Fish ( mild upset but sushi, sashimi, fried, pan seared, blackened... the sheer volume and versatility of fish pushes this into top three)
4. Duck ( the best duck can be somewhat pork derivative, but it is an absolutely delectable meat)
5. Aquatic shelled animals and bottom dwellers (Lobster, oysters, clams, crab...lots to love)
6. Chicken ( a versatile food but it isn't as delicious as any of the above listings, even in its best form. Let's all agree that the only parts of a chicken worth eating are dark meat. People who like white meat should be judged, and harshly. I'm not above suggesting they should be placed in a Shirley Jackson style Lottery so we can thin out their ranks a bit.)
7. Lamb (I have been on a lamb kick recently. I find it to be delicious, but it can be a bit gamey and is very much dependent upon sauce and/or preparation)
8. Think of another meat and insert in this spot. I don't care what it is. It's better than turkey.
9. turkey ( I can't even bring myself to capitalize it. It's just not very good. Or rather it's never any better than fine. I can't even muster up hatred for it. It's just okay and not worthy of me caring about it too much. People eat it on Thanksgiving because that's what they've always done. That mess is Nostalgia. Eat a better meat. Someone is going to think that I haven't tried theirs or some such nonsense. Turkey is only palatable when paired with stuffing and cranberries. You want to know why? Cause they mask the deficiencies. What you like is stuffing and cranberries. This is not up for debate.)