Please Help!!

[DukieBoy]

I'm a jr. at my high school and my school is chalk full of UNC fans (when UNC is winning at least). We haven't been to school since the first day of the tourney because of spring break. Not only is my school full of UNC fans, but i'm the only Duke fan in the school and everyone knows. Tomorrow could become very painful because Duke lost and UNC is in the final four. Do you guys have any ideas of some catchy comebacks because i'm going to get ragged hard tomorrow.

[miramar]

Well if anybody asks you "If God isn't a Tar Heel, then why is the sky Carolina blue?" just answer "But if God is omniscient, then why couldn't he get into Duke?"

Or you could begin with "How does a Dukie get a Tar Heel off of his porch? He just pays him for the pizza."

Fortunately, anything Carolina fans come up with isn't going to be very clever anyway. Just think, these people actually root for Tyler Hansbrough. I mean, how pathetic is that?

[HK Dukie]

Well, from way back I know how that feels. I guess you can always go to the old faithfuls...

Most titles, final 4s, and wins in past 20 years of any college basketball program.

But at the end of the day you have to suck it up. We lost. It's not the end of the world. However, it will make next year even more vindicating.

[Channing]

just something polite such as - Duke's loss was hard. UNC looks good though. That will kill them. They will clearly be looking for some sort of confrontation, and just shrugging it off like it doesnt bother you (even if it really really does) will bother them the most!!!

[JBDuke]

just something polite such as - Duke's loss was hard. UNC looks good though. That will kill them. They will clearly be looking for some sort of confrontation, and just shrugging it off like it doesnt bother you (even if it really really does) will bother them the most!!!

This one gets my vote. It's hard to swallow your pride, but you just say, "Yeah, I guess it wasn't our year. You guys look really good, though. What do you think about Kansas?" It'll probably confound them, and you come off looking a lot more mature. Maybe it'll impress the ladies! Not only are you smart enough to be a Duke fan, you're independent enough to not go with the crowd, and you're mature enough not to sink to their petty crowing.

[SilkyJ]

This one gets my vote. It's hard to swallow your pride, but you just say, "Yeah, I guess it wasn't our year. You guys look really good, though. What do you think about Kansas?" It'll probably confound them, and you come off looking a lot more mature. Maybe it'll impress the ladies! Not only are you smart enough to be a Duke fan, you're independent enough to not go with the crowd, and you're mature enough not to sink to their petty crowing.

i concur

[Coballs]

This one gets my vote. It's hard to swallow your pride, but you just say, "Yeah, I guess it wasn't our year. You guys look really good, though. What do you think about Kansas?" It'll probably confound them, and you come off looking a lot more mature. Maybe it'll impress the ladies! Not only are you smart enough to be a Duke fan, you're independent enough to not go with the crowd, and you're mature enough not to sink to their petty crowing.

No, that's not going to work. You're in high school. Attempts at maturity are useless. Get ready to catch alot of flack tomorrow. I'd recommend staying home, but your classmates will be waiting for you on Tuesday. Hopefully, you'll have the last laugh next Monday or Tuesday.

[The Slamming Butcher]

I'm a jr. at my high school and my school is chalk full of UNC fans (when UNC is winning at least). We haven't been to school since the first day of the tourney because of spring break. Not only is my school full of UNC fans, but i'm the only Duke fan in the school and everyone knows. Tomorrow could become very painful because Duke lost and UNC is in the final four. Do you guys have any ideas of some catchy comebacks because i'm going to get ragged hard tomorrow.

Concede nothing to those turds. Take your lumps like a man (like I did in the 80's) and know that your day will come again.

[brevity]

I'm a jr. at my high school and my school is chalk full of UNC fans (when UNC is winning at least). We haven't been to school since the first day of the tourney because of spring break. Not only is my school full of UNC fans, but i'm the only Duke fan in the school and everyone knows. Tomorrow could become very painful because Duke lost and UNC is in the final four. Do you guys have any ideas of some catchy comebacks because i'm going to get ragged hard tomorrow.

As a Duke fan, especially at the high school level, I don't think any catchy comeback is going to work.

Deflect the talk away from the rivalry by telling them that they should worry about Kansas, Memphis, and UCLA. Say things like "Have you seen anything like the Jayhawks frontcourt? Because Hansbrough sure hasn't." Let them know that Kansas has two point guard answers for Lawson, and that Chalmers and/or Rush can clamp down on Ellington. Remind them that Kansas has the kind of bench scoring that will make you forget about Danny Green. Then do something similar for Memphis and UCLA. The goal here is to sway their viewpoint from "Let's make fun of Duke" to "Let's worry about our beloved Heels this week."

By comparison, and if they ask, you can tell them that all you have to worry about at this point is whether Duke's awesome incoming freshmen will infiltrate the starting lineup. (They won't, but let's save that discussion for another day.)

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Well if anybody asks you "If God isn't a Tar Heel, then why is the sky Carolina blue?" just answer

So the rest of us don't have to step in it!

Or you could try the maturity route, but it isn't likely to work as noted above.

[eddiehaskell]

Deflect the talk away from the rivalry by telling them that they should worry about Kansas, Memphis, and UCLA.

I agree. This can buy you some time until UNC loses. Once UNC goes down, you can then put them on the defensive by saying how good their players are yet they still couldn't get the job done.

Of course they will surely respond with the line "they did better than Duke" - to this I would rationally admit Duke's faults and say they were only expected to reach the sweet 16 whereas UNC was expected to win it all.

[BlueDevilJay]

just something polite such as - Duke's loss was hard. UNC looks good though. That will kill them. They will clearly be looking for some sort of confrontation, and just shrugging it off like it doesnt bother you (even if it really really does) will bother them the most!!!

Amen brother. Thats the best one I ever use. Simply agreeing with them causes them to stand there with a blank look on their face, they typically mumble something like "Yeah well Duke isn't there" and then wander back off to their meaningless lives that revolve TOTALLY around the results of UNC basketball games. It does work like a charm. Even going as far as offering a "compliment" for Hanstravel might cause a few of them to spontaneously combust. Good times.

[billybreen]

I'm a jr. at my high school and my school is chalk full of UNC fans

Pedantic point: the expression is chock full, not chalk full.

[Huh?]

Just punch the first person in the nose that says something smart and I'm sure no one will say anything else that day or the next week when you come back from suspension.

[ugadevil]

Four things:
1. If UNC doesn't win the championship, at least Danny Green has a good shot at being on Dancing with the Stars.
2. If UNC does win, things sure will be fun next year if all 3 stars leave.
3. Any sort of comment about Rasheed Wallace might work.
4. Tyler Hansbrough supposedly has the most heart of any player ever and he still hasn't accomplished as much as President Battier.

[moonpie23]

you say " congrats on a great season,guys! We know how it feels to be a dominating force in the tourny. - Just make sure you seal the deal, otherwise, the whole country is gonna ride you like a rented donkey!"

[blublood]

No, that's not going to work. You're in high school. Attempts at maturity are useless.

This is true, unfortunately. But I still think attempting maturity will ultimately serve you better than punching the person in the mouth, as satisfying as that might be. Just remember, you're not alone, brother Duke fan! I got into an argument with my uncle this weekend because he said that the reason Duke won the Belmont game was "officiating" because "Duke gets all the calls". I mean, how stupid is that??? (no offense, Uncle Steve!) If they "get all the calls", how come they're not still in the tournament?

[eddiehaskell]

Just be glad you aren't in NC. I think there are about 10-15 UNC fans for every 1 Duke fan.

[sagegrouse]

I'm a jr. at my high school and my school is chalk full of UNC fans (when UNC is winning at least). We haven't been to school since the first day of the tourney because of spring break. Not only is my school full of UNC fans, but i'm the only Duke fan in the school and everyone knows. Tomorrow could become very painful because Duke lost and UNC is in the final four. Do you guys have any ideas of some catchy comebacks because i'm going to get ragged hard tomorrow.

There are several approaches:

1. I would just say: "UNC is playing great and we sucked. Can't wait for next year."

2. Shave your head or dye your hair to change the subject.

3. To really change the subject, walk straight into the lion's den and say: "I can't wait for football season."

4. A la the LAX scandal, keep wearing your Duke stuff and just say: "I still like Duke."

Think how this will play out. Carolina is likely to lose, and then you can cluck sympathetically about "tough luck" or worse. Or, if Carolina wins, their fans will be so full of themselves they will leave you alone.

sagegrouse

[Son of Mojo]

You've been given some good advice here--really, don't acknowledge them for as long as you can but as you already know they're going to come a'callin' on you. Give them some light-to-backhanded praise ("Hanstravel did a great job of scoring and not fouling out against Louisville even though he tried his best to" or "weren't y'all supposed to get at least this far anyway? Man, if they lose it'll be a catastrophe"). You're going to take some punishment but take it from a lot of us here who have had to endure, it makes you appreciate being a Duke fan much more than being an automaton like. . . . . . .them. Hold your head up and know that the worst that's going to happen is they'll win their 5th legitimate title (I know I'm not alone in hating how they claim they have another title that doesn't exist that we never heard them harp about until we won our last title) to give us more incentive to strike back and at best somebody's going to take them out (and each team--Kansas, UCLA, and Memphis--does have enough to do the trick if they play at their high level game). Hopefully Kansas will play better than they did this past weekend and tear them apart....maybe even to the point that they run it up on ol' Roy like he's had his boys do in the first two rounds. I don't like anyone running up a score but after what they did it would be deserved.