Some of you may have seen this years ago and some of you may have not. I personally think it's one of the funniest anti-UNC things ever written. But if the moderators think it's offensive and too over the top please remove, I do understand. Please know the whole thing is meant to be tongue in cheek and NOT serious.

Dear Abby,

I have been dating "Janice" for over a year now, and while she has taken me home to meet her family several times I have yet to take her around mine. She has asked questions about my family many times and I have done my best to change the subject but it is clear she is getting more curious the more evasive I am. You see Abby, my mother is an alcoholic who spent as much time in and out of rehab as she did with her children growing up. After a series of marriages and divorces she now lives in a homeless shelter and panhandles for enough money each day to make a daily visit to the liquor store. My father had a gambling problem when I was growning up and continually lost his earnings on wagers to the point where we didn't know where our next meal was coming from and had to move from apartment to apartment each month because we never had rent money. My one sister is a heroin addict who has been in and out of rehab more times than I can count and has three children by four different men. My older brother was a gang member and drug dealer until he was arrested for being involved in a murder, and is now serving 20-25 years incarceration. My younger brother managed to graduate high school and was awarded an athletic scholorship to the University of North Carolina where he played basketball for four years. Abby my question is, how do I bring up and ever hope to explain having a brother that attended, yet alone played for UNC?

Confused In Durham