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  1. #45061
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Durham, NC
    Quote Originally Posted by Bostondevil View Post
    I told each one of my sons at the start of 7th grade that the point of 7th was not to enjoy it, the point was to get through it. Then, when they started high school, I told them that if their high school years turned out to be the best years of their lives, they were going to have rather sad lives. Enjoy what you can and if you have at least one friend that has your back, high school is a success.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mtn.Devil.91.92.01.10.15 View Post
    This is sage advice. I had an incredibly rigorous high school life in a very different academic program. I had no time to be much of anything. I did have a pretty solid group of friends and was fortunate for that.

    Middle school was an obstacle to sat the least. Did you ever see Dangerous Minds? Michelle Pfeiffer? The amazing Coolio song? That was my reality in middle school. We had fights, bomb threats, drug busts, and all manner of distractions.
    Wow! I feel very fortunate then. I had a blast in Jr High and HS. Was ready to get out and go off to college, but I still loved it.

  2. #45062
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Vermont
    Quote Originally Posted by Mtn.Devil.91.92.01.10.15 View Post
    Middle school was without question the worst time of my life, outside of specific terrible events. I have the utmost respect for teachers who choose that particular challenge.

    Someone recently told me that everyone they met had at least one memorable middle school (we called in junior high in those dinosaur years) who made a difference. I certainly did. Mrs. Haviland, seventh grade science.
    There wasn't even such a thing as middle school when I was at that age...but yeah, those years were pretty much sucko. Grade school was K-6, Junior High was 7-8, on the high school.

  3. #45063
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Boston area, OK, Newton, right by Heartbreak Hill
    Quote Originally Posted by aimo View Post
    Wow! I feel very fortunate then. I had a blast in Jr High and HS. Was ready to get out and go off to college, but I still loved it.
    I had a lot of fun in high school. I also had many miserable times. I had a couple of friends who had my back. Overall, my high school experience was a success, but I wouldn't want to do it again. I have speculated that nobody, and I mean nobody, thinks they were popular in high school. I mentioned this theory to an adult friend of mine not all that long ago. We both agreed that although we both had friends and we weren't the ones everybody picked on, we didn't think of ourselves as popular. My friend then said, "It's not like we were captain of the cheerleading squad." So I had to respond, "Oh. Actually, yeah, I was captain of the cheerleading squad." At that point she completely refused to believe that I wasn't popular in high school. Which kinda proves my point, I may have been the captain of the cheerleading squard, but I did not think of myself as popular.

  4. #45064
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Durham, NC
    Quote Originally Posted by Bostondevil View Post
    I had a lot of fun in high school. I also had many miserable times. I had a couple of friends who had my back. Overall, my high school experience was a success, but I wouldn't want to do it again. I have speculated that nobody, and I mean nobody, thinks they were popular in high school. I mentioned this theory to an adult friend of mine not all that long ago. We both agreed that although we both had friends and we weren't the ones everybody picked on, we didn't think of ourselves as popular. My friend then said, "It's not like we were captain of the cheerleading squad." So I had to respond, "Oh. Actually, yeah, I was captain of the cheerleading squad." At that point she completely refused to believe that I wasn't popular in high school. Which kinda proves my point, I may have been the captain of the cheerleading squard, but I did not think of myself as popular.
    I did not want to be "popular." I was perfectly happy being in that middle echelon of non-descript students. I had close friends and was friends with others in all groups. The "popular" kids were the snooty snoots from you-know-where, and I really wanted nothing to do with them. What constituted as popular back then, I wanted no part of.

  5. #45065
    I went to the same school from 7th through 10th grade. I'm sure there were those that were more popular than others but, since the school only had 500 students in K-12, it was hard to tell.

    I then moved to a new school (and country) for my Jr and Sr years - there were almost twice as many students in my graduating class as there were in my prior school K-12. There were definitely cliques but I was fortunate to have a group of friends that didn't really care if we were popular or not. I tended to get along with everyone.

  6. #45066
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Outside Philly
    Quote Originally Posted by aimo View Post
    Wow! I feel very fortunate then. I had a blast in Jr High and HS. Was ready to get out and go off to college, but I still loved it.
    I had a great time by sophomore year of HS once I got established with my groups and found my people. Itís pretty crazy to see those folks now and understand a bit more about why they were my people then. My 2 main HS girlfriends grew up to be a research scientist for dementia and in charge of defense policy for New Zealand. Half the other girls in my HS appear to be selling multilevel marketing life coaching on Facebook so I found Waldo, if you know what I mean.

    Middle school, particularly 7th grade, was tough. I was brand new and we lived with my grandma while our house was being built. Grandma smoked like a chimney so I was the new kid that smelled like stale cigarettes in 7th grade. Not a good thing to be.

  7. #45067
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    Durham, NC
    Quote Originally Posted by DukieInKansas View Post
    I went to the same school from 7th through 10th grade. I'm sure there were those that were more popular than others but, since the school only had 500 students in K-12, it was hard to tell.

    I then moved to a new school (and country) for my Jr and Sr years - there were almost twice as many students in my graduating class as there were in my prior school K-12. There were definitely cliques but I was fortunate to have a group of friends that didn't really care if we were popular or not. I tended to get along with everyone.
    Not to play a game of one-upmanship (yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing), my 5th-8th grade was spent in a K-12 school with 180 kids total. I was in the second-largest grade, and we had 22-25 kids in the class (depending on the year). My brother's high school graduating class was eight students.

    I moved directly from there to a high school with ~1500 students (~350 in the freshman class), so you have me beat there.

    I was never popular, and I never wanted to be. I was never UNpopular, either. My core of friends and I just hung out together and did our thing while the world swirled around us. We were walking the inevitable high school line of being intentionally non-conformist, but as a group.

  8. #45068
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Boston area, OK, Newton, right by Heartbreak Hill
    Quote Originally Posted by Phredd3 View Post
    Not to play a game of one-upmanship (yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing), my 5th-8th grade was spent in a K-12 school with 180 kids total. I was in the second-largest grade, and we had 22-25 kids in the class (depending on the year). My brother's high school graduating class was eight students.

    I moved directly from there to a high school with ~1500 students (~350 in the freshman class), so you have me beat there.

    I was never popular, and I never wanted to be. I was never UNpopular, either. My core of friends and I just hung out together and did our thing while the world swirled around us. We were walking the inevitable high school line of being intentionally non-conformist, but as a group.
    Be a Pepper!

  9. #45069
    Quote Originally Posted by wilson View Post
    Fear not. As you might recall, this is pretty much all middle school is about. I mean, I teach history and literature, but what I really do is work to reveal kids' strength that lies within, push them to expand their conception of how capable they are, and remind them as frequently as possible that this world has a place for them.
    You are a damn good man Wilson. I appreciate you and what you do. This is as good a post as I have ever seen on this platform.

  10. #45070
    We moved to Arizona for my freshman year of high school. From a middle school with about 100 kids in the 8th grade to a high school with nearly 700 students in the freshman class fed by two middle schools. I never was popular nor unpopular, but I also didn't really find my groove in HS*. It may have been worse for my sister who moved after her freshman year in KY. Her grades plummeted but did recover a bit over the last couple years.

    *I'm not sure I really found it while I was at Duke. I do think I hit my groove at grad school.

  11. #45071
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Quote Originally Posted by ClemmonsDevil View Post
    You are a damn good man Wilson. I appreciate you and what you do. This is as good a post as I have ever seen on this platform.
    Man, I really appreciate it...the love from everyone. It wasn't what I intended, but I got all reflect-y about how I was a rudderless and unsure man when this thread started, and how much I've evolved since then.

  12. #45072
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Outside Philly
    Quote Originally Posted by ClemmonsDevil View Post
    You are a damn good man Wilson. I appreciate you and what you do. This is as good a post as I have ever seen on this platform.
    You thought he was being serious?

  13. #45073
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Outside Philly
    Quote Originally Posted by YmoBeThere View Post
    We moved to Arizona for my freshman year of high school. From a middle school with about 100 kids in the 8th grade to a high school with nearly 700 students in the freshman class fed by two middle schools. I never was popular nor unpopular, but I also didn't really find my groove in HS*. It may have been worse for my sister who moved after her freshman year in KY. Her grades plummeted but did recover a bit over the last couple years.

    *I'm not sure I really found it while I was at Duke. I do think I hit my groove at grad school.
    Moves can be pretty disruptive. They can be good in that they force adaptability, which I generally consider a good thing to learn in life, but they can also really torpedo forward momentum.

  14. #45074
    Quote Originally Posted by YmoBeThere View Post
    We moved to Arizona for my freshman year of high school. From a middle school with about 100 kids in the 8th grade to a high school with nearly 700 students in the freshman class fed by two middle schools. I never was popular nor unpopular, but I also didn't really find my groove in HS*. It may have been worse for my sister who moved after her freshman year in KY. Her grades plummeted but did recover a bit over the last couple years.

    *I'm not sure I really found it while I was at Duke. I do think I hit my groove at grad school.
    I desperately wanted to move - my father (Duke 68) had a job offer in Spartanburg. We lived in Charlotte. I was in eighth grade, at the height of self-loathing. I was entranced by the prospect of a fresh start.

    I was a wildly insecure young person. If I had known I would grow up to have eleven DBR sporks, I'm sure my self-esteem would have been immense.

  15. #45075
    Quote Originally Posted by Phredd3 View Post
    Not to play a game of one-upmanship (yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing), my 5th-8th grade was spent in a K-12 school with 180 kids total. I was in the second-largest grade, and we had 22-25 kids in the class (depending on the year). My brother's high school graduating class was eight students.

    I moved directly from there to a high school with ~1500 students (~350 in the freshman class), so you have me beat there.

    I was never popular, and I never wanted to be. I was never UNpopular, either. My core of friends and I just hung out together and did our thing while the world swirled around us. We were walking the inevitable high school line of being intentionally non-conformist, but as a group.
    The best part of the smaller school - I've gone to class reunions for that school. Unfortunately, none of them in the city where the school is located. We had one in Baltimore and another in New Orleans. I've never heard anything about a reunion from the school where I actually graduated.

    Your brother "beats" my sister - she had 24 in her graduating class but I can't remember how many countries were represented. Four years later, I graduated in a class of 934. My culture shock was greater moving back to the States than it was moving to Japan in 4th grade.

    Four years before her, my middle sibling graduated in a class of around 120 and had 30 countries represented, if I recall correctly.

  16. #45076
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Boston area, OK, Newton, right by Heartbreak Hill
    My parents were in the same high school class, Marshall High School in Huntington, West Virginia. There were a total of 17 students in that class. More than a third of them, 6 total, 3 males and 3 females, married other members of that class. If you include the 2 students who married someone in either the class one year ahead or one year behind (both of those classes were more than twice as big), over half married someone they went to high school with. Yes, there are lots of people who marry their high school sweethearts, but half your graduating class? That's gotta be up there, percentage wise.

  17. #45077
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Washington, DC area
    My grandfather was the only graduate of his high school in Buena Vista, GA. All his classmates had dropped out over the years.

    Of course his family valued education. They moved their house from the farm into town when he was a kid to make it easier to attend, and later his younger sister taught in WV for decades.

    -jk

  18. #45078
    Quote Originally Posted by Bostondevil View Post
    I had a lot of fun in high school. I also had many miserable times. I had a couple of friends who had my back. Overall, my high school experience was a success, but I wouldn't want to do it again. I have speculated that nobody, and I mean nobody, thinks they were popular in high school. I mentioned this theory to an adult friend of mine not all that long ago. We both agreed that although we both had friends and we weren't the ones everybody picked on, we didn't think of ourselves as popular. My friend then said, "It's not like we were captain of the cheerleading squad." So I had to respond, "Oh. Actually, yeah, I was captain of the cheerleading squad." At that point she completely refused to believe that I wasn't popular in high school. Which kinda proves my point, I may have been the captain of the cheerleading squard, but I did not think of myself as popular.
    Starting point guard on a state championship basketball team as a sophomore. Runner-up for conference player of the year and all conference, and all district as a junior. Got injured as a senior but always assumed I was unpopular.

  19. #45079
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Outside Philly
    Quote Originally Posted by ClemmonsDevil View Post
    Starting point guard on a state championship basketball team as a sophomore. Runner-up for conference player of the year and all conference, and all district as a junior. Got injured as a senior but always assumed I was unpopular.
    If only there was some way to quantify popularity for all to see like little sporks that hovered above someoneís head!

    Iím pretty sure that certain members of my HSís football team knew they were the BMOCs.

  20. #45080
    I had the absolute best day yesterday. And dear Lord I needed it. I haven't had a win in a long time and I had two friends show up for me yesterday in a way that is so unbelievably humbling. We had an amazing day paddle boarding on Biscayne Bay and some amazing Peruvian cuisine after. Pretty much just the perfect day.

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