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  1. #2981
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverBlowingBubbles View Post
    Rash World sounds like a really fun theme park, donít you think? Iíd visit, as long as the admission price wasnít too high. I wonder if they have funnel cakes at Rash World. Funnel cakes are incredible. Theyíre my favorite fried batter-based cake.
    Rash World -- do they have fun sorts of rides like the Lyme Disease Circular Red Rash Ferris Wheel? Or, maybe, Scaley Peely House of Horror?


    And funnel cakes are, in fact, little fried batter-bits of heaven.

  2. #2982
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Lexington, KY

    Yogurt season, duck season, ...

    Quote Originally Posted by mph View Post
    But not baked bean yogurt.
    Ahh... we're back to talking about yogurt.

    Ymmm... yogurt.

  3. #2983
    Iím Batman. At least thatís what I tell women in bars after a few rounds. Itís a great pick-up line because they have no way of knowing if itís true or not. Sure, they have a 99% chance of knowing that youíre not Batman, but itís that 1% that gives you the in.

    What youíre really looking for is the lady that wants to argue with you about how much youíre not Batman. Those are the broads that end up in bed with you later on yelling ďYes, Batman! Show me your utility belt!Ē It works every time. It also helps to have a utility belt with you because up until that point, she may still not believe youíre Batman, but when you produce the utility belt, you send her head spinning.

    I never used to be good at pick-up lines because I was too direct. ďIíd like to be your blanketĒ works on some chicks, but most of them just slap you and walk away. Donít get me wrong, I love a good slapping. Itís good for the skin and makes you focus on the task at hand. Iíd just rather talk to the woman than get slapped, thatís all. So I had to take a different approach. Iíve heard of new dating advice books where youíre supposed to insult a girl to get her attention, but I think thatís the wrong approach. If Iím not pretending to be Batman, I like to use really impressive facts to get them to talk to me.

    Iíll pick out the hottest lady in the bar (or zoo or botanical garden or wherever else I might happen to be) and get her attention with a really loud whisper. Women respond really well to whispers. Itís because they like secrets. So Iíll whisper, ďHey you, come over hereĒ and Iíll look like Iíve got a real big secret to tell them. When they come over, I reach into my bag of facts (not literally) and pull out a good one. ďDolphins are the only animals besides humans that copulate for pleasure.Ē It works like a charm. Most of the time. Not really. It gets me slapped less, though, so Iím sticking with it.

  4. #2984
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Lexington, KY

    Smile Funnel Cakes

    Quote Originally Posted by DevilAlumna View Post
    And funnel cakes are, in fact, little fried batter-bits of heaven.
    Absolutely correct. But it depends on the oil.

    Have you ever had yogurt and fruit served with funnel cakes? Ymmm.

  5. #2985
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    St Augustine, FL
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavabe View Post
    Absolutely correct. But it depends on the oil.

    Have you ever had yogurt and fruit served with funnel cakes? Ymmm.
    How 'bout duck served with funnel cakes?

  6. #2986
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Lexington, KY

    Smile Battle of the Batter

    Quote Originally Posted by DevilAlumna View Post
    And funnel cakes are, in fact, little fried batter-bits of heaven.
    Funnel cakes or hushpuppies?

    I go with funnel cakes.

  7. #2987
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Lynchburg, VA
    The great thing about funnel cakes is, like waffles, they go well with most sweet or savory foods. However, I did know a woman who put ketchup on her waffles and pancakes, which is completely gross.

  8. #2988
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Confession: I am a Waffle House fanatic, but I've never had a waffle there. Just thought you'd all want to know.

  9. #2989
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Lexington, KY

    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by wilson View Post
    Confession: I am a Waffle House fanatic, but I've never had a waffle there. Just thought you'd all want to know.
    After mph's post, I'll assume you use ketchup on the hash browns and syrup on the waffles ... not the other way around.

  10. #2990
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavabe View Post
    After mph's post, I'll assume you use ketchup on the hash browns and syrup on the waffles ... not the other way around.
    Actually, my favored hash brown topping varies rather wildly. If I'm having them plain, then yes, it's usually ketchup (dipped, not poured). However, I often order them covered and peppered (that's cheese and jalapenos to the layperson). In that case, I usually consume them with A-1 Sauce...delectable. Tabasco sauce also makes regular appearances atop my hashbrowns, regardless of their garnish.

  11. #2991
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Boston area, OK, Newton, right by Heartbreak Hill
    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverBlowingBubbles View Post
    I’m Batman. At least that’s what I tell women in bars after a few rounds. It’s a great pick-up line because they have no way of knowing if it’s true or not.
    What is your success ratio with this line? And how do you define success? Is getting a phone number enough or do you have to end up in bed? If you end up in bed, does she have to yell? If so, does she have to yell something that includes the words utility belt? So, define success, take the number of successes and divide by the number of times you've tried it, and get back to us.

    I'm Carroll Youngkin and I'll admit, I'm not old enough to remember him. Anybody got anything on Carroll Youngkin?
    Last edited by Bostondevil; 07-25-2008 at 02:09 PM.

  12. #2992
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverBlowingBubbles View Post
    ďDolphins are the only animals besides humans that copulate for pleasure.Ē
    I'm pretty sure Bonobo chimpanzees do as well. They also join humans as non-procreative copulators...I dunno how much more I want to say about that, lest the mods put me (back) in timeout.

  13. #2993
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavabe View Post
    Funnel cakes or hushpuppies?

    I go with funnel cakes.
    Why choose? Each has their time and place.


    I don't believe FBB included another good cake in his list -- crab cakes.

    I had them last night, on a herb salad lightly dressed in a balsamic vinagrette, some french bread, and a nice tomato/mozzarella/basil side. I like cooking, when I have the time.

  14. #2994

    The last two were taken from Creed's Blog (From the Office), this just in from Dwight

    Schrute:

    Maintaining a Normal Body Temperature During the Summer Months

    Attention readers: this web log will be doubling as a public service announcement because people are literally DYING out there.

    We are in the thick of summer, people. The sun, while a huge ally of the Earth, also serves as one of our biggest enemies. It provides light that we use to see, but it can also scorch your skin into a red blistering mess. There are so many heat-related illnesses that itís almost impossible to name them all: heatstroke, heat rash, heat cramps, heat exhaustion, heat edema, heat tetany, heat syncope, heat mumps. The list goes on and on. The sun lurks silently in the sky, waiting to claim its next human victim and itís up to us to stop it.

    In the wintertime, nobody bothers to care about the sun at all. Thatís because itís busy resting. Just like bears, the sun hibernates in the sky during the winter. Sure, it still provides sunshine Ė but just enough to get us through the day. When the sun wakes up, usually around mid-April, it begins a program of solar destruction that takes so many lives each year that it should be at the top of every Most Wanted list in the world.

    I feel that it is my duty to combat the sunís evil efforts by providing you with this list of helpful sun-fighting tips.

  15. #2995
    ē The sun can only hurt you if you leave your skin exposed. Wearing a neoprene wetsuit will cover up most of your vulnerable skin. Youíll also look like a superhero, so thatís a double bonus.
    ē Sunscreen is sold by the pro-sun lobby. They want to create a market based on your fear of the sun. While your fear is very real and legitimate, their products are essentially a creamy snake oil. Youíre much better off using a solvent made of beet juice reduction and white wine vinegar. It may smell delicious to you, and if youíre ever making salad dressing these are two ingredients you donít want to leave out, but in reality the combination is like kryptonite to the stupid sun. It sends those dangerous rays right back where they came from and sends a message to that big yolk in the sky. It says ďHey Sun, not on MY watch!Ē So donít waste your money on sunscreen, it just gets funneled back to pro-sun activities.
    ē Wear a floppy hat. They might look goofy, but so will you when your face is the color of my childhood wagon/portable beet showroom.
    ē Never leave your house without at least a gallon of potable drinking water. Drinking water makes you more resistant to the dangerous intrusion of the sun. The sunís goal is to actually deprive you of water. If you drink water, youíre replacing the very substance that the sun is trying to steal from you. Plus, our bodies are comprised mainly of water. The sun is made up of zero percent water. So remind me, who invented all of the technology on Earth? Humans or the sun? It was humans. The sun never invented anything. Thatís why Iíll not only trust humans over the sun, Iíll do everything I can to set myself apart from the sun. Number one on the list of ways to set yourself apart: drinking water.
    ē Stay indoors between the hours of 9am and 6pm. This will prevent contact with the sun when it is most vindictive.

    I donít know what the sun has against us. What I do know is that the sun is a killer. People die from sun-related problems every single day during the summer and even though I am only one man, I feel the need to do my part. Donít let the sun catch you off-guard. Be prepared. One day, we will tame the sun and make it do our bidding. Until then, we must always be vigilant.

  16. #2996
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Lexington, KY

    Smile A Primatological Response

    Quote Originally Posted by wilson View Post
    I'm pretty sure Bonobo chimpanzees do as well. They also join humans as non-procreative copulators...I dunno how much more I want to say about that, lest the mods put me (back) in timeout.
    This is a scientific response to Wilson's statement.

    Bonobos (Pan paniscus) should not be referred as bonobo chimpanzees. They were once known as pygmy chimpanzees. Common chimpanzees (Pan troglodytes) are a different species completely.

    Although Pan paniscus has "non-procreative" copulations, the extent to which one can say they "copulate for pleasure" has not been proven. Many copulations are ultimately non-procreative, in many species.

    With bonobos, you may find a lot of anthropomorphizing in some of the popular literature, but the apes' motivation aspects are not quite clearly understood. Nonetheless, I do know of a few folks who refer to them as the sexy ape, solely because they do so much ... well, you know. Some hypotheses out there suggest that they use copulations and sexual contact to ensure alliances.

    I cannot offer any explanation for the validity of the barroom opening line that was given before. I'll leave it to DA, BD, and CathyCA to determine the line's worth.

    Oh yeah ... bonobo is a heckuva word in Scrabble!!
    Cheers,
    Lavabe

  17. #2997
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    St. Louis, MO

    back to ducks...

    Our family once had a pet duck. He followed my brother everywhere he went. In fact, if anyone ever dared to lay a finger on my brother, the duck would attack. Tackle football? The duck was the ref. My mother once took my brother outside to spank him and had to answer to the duck. True story. So, if the duck in question had the devotion to me that our former pet had to my brother, I'd take the duck following behind me.

  18. #2998
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavabe View Post
    This is a scientific response to Wilson's statement.

    Bonobos (Pan paniscus) should not be referred as bonobo chimpanzees. They were once known as pygmy chimpanzees. Common chimpanzees (Pan troglodytes) are a different species completely.

    Although Pan paniscus has "non-procreative" copulations, the extent to which one can say they "copulate for pleasure" has not been proven. Many copulations are ultimately non-procreative, in many species.

    With bonobos, you may find a lot of anthropomorphizing in some of the popular literature, but the apes' motivation aspects are not quite clearly understood. Nonetheless, I do know of a few folks who refer to them as the sexy ape, solely because they do so much ... well, you know. Some hypotheses out there suggest that they use copulations and sexual contact to ensure alliances.

    I cannot offer any explanation for the validity of the barroom opening line that was given before. I'll leave it to DA, BD, and CathyCA to determine the line's worth.

    Oh yeah ... bonobo is a heckuva word in Scrabble!!
    Cheers,
    Lavabe
    Now how did I know that Lav would have something to say about this...?

  19. #2999
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Quote Originally Posted by ArkieDukie View Post
    Our family once had a pet duck. He followed my brother everywhere he went. In fact, if anyone ever dared to lay a finger on my brother, the duck would attack. Tackle football? The duck was the ref. My mother once took my brother outside to spank him and had to answer to the duck. True story. So, if the duck in question had the devotion to me that our former pet had to my brother, I'd take the duck following behind me.
    But I am glad that my duck/tail query has gotten so much mileage, and jumpstarted the LTE so nicely.

  20. #3000
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Boston area, OK, Newton, right by Heartbreak Hill
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavabe View Post
    I cannot offer any explanation for the validity of the barroom opening line that was given before. I'll leave it to DA, BD, and CathyCA to determine the line's worth.
    I have been out of the single scene for so long, I'm not sure I'm qualified to respond except for this, I wouldn't slap the person who said it and I'd probably talk to him, at least for a little while. After that, we'll see.

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