
Originally Posted by
Bostondevil
I have a party to go to with a bunch of physicists. The Russians among them will make me drink at least a little vodka. Then I will make them listen to me sing "Auld Lang Syne". I've been doing this for the past few years. It's become a tradition. New Year's Eve is my least favorite holiday but now that I celebrate it with a bunch of physicists every year, it's not so bad.
Tell them this one:
A physicist walks into a bar. He orders a beer, turns to the stool next to him, and offers it a beer. He finishes his drink and then leaves.
The next day he returns to the bar, orders a beer, and offers a beer to the stool next to him before finishing his drink and leaving.
This continues on for a week before the bartender finally asks, "Why in the world do you keep offering that stool a beer?"
The physicist replies, "The laws of physics dictate that there is a slight possibility that at some point the matter above this stool could reform into a beautiful woman, who would then accept the drink."
The bartender is puzzled for a second before replying "The bar is full of beautiful women. Why not see if they will accept your drink?"
The physicist quickly laughs before saying "Yeah, but what are the odds of that happening?"
“Bob says run! Bob says run! Bob says run!”
{good pick-up after handoff}
“Bob was right! Bob was right! Bob was right!”