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Thread: Dear DBR

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Dear DBR

    I am growing weary of some of the posters here telling other posters how to feel about the frustrations many of us have over the current men's basketball season. It is a forum. It is not expected, or rather, it should not be expected that we all agree. It is almost chilling to see some people telling others that maybe they should seek different outlets for their frustrations. People don't need to be lectured or called names. Stop projecting. One of the problems is that the college game has been seriously overexposed. Expectations (of players and fans) are unrealistic and we continue to see issues caused by the American evolution of the game which focuses on flash over fundamentals. Many of us don't know each other personally and don't know what's going on in the personal lives of posters. I have cancer, for example. Please stop telling others how to feel. Stay safe and well. Let's Go Duke!

  2. #2
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    Agreed. There seems to be a collective backlash when anyone expresses any disappointment or negativity. Same if someone speculates or asks what-if questions. The usual response to a what-if question on this forum is "Well we don't know, so shut up and stop asking questions." Don't speculate on things we don't know." It ruins some of the fun of an online message board, where one of the main purposes should be to debate, respectfully argue, speculate, ask crazy what-ifs that aren't based in reality, AND express negative emotions when we're discouraged or feeling down about the team. If there's a topic you're not interested in discussion, don't discuss it. You also don't have to try to regulate someone else's posts as long as they're not saying anything hateful or offensive.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by peteandpete View Post
    I am growing weary of some of the posters here telling other posters how to feel about the frustrations many of us have over the current men's basketball season. It is a forum. It is not expected, or rather, it should not be expected that we all agree. It is almost chilling to see some people telling others that maybe they should seek different outlets for their frustrations. People don't need to be lectured or called names. Stop projecting. One of the problems is that the college game has been seriously overexposed. Expectations (of players and fans) are unrealistic and we continue to see issues caused by the American evolution of the game which focuses on flash over fundamentals. Many of us don't know each other personally and don't know what's going on in the personal lives of posters. I have cancer, for example. Please stop telling others how to feel. Stay safe and well. Let's Go Duke!
    I hear you. I don't think there's a single poster on this forum who isn't somewhat frustrated by the results of this season thus far.

    But what I see the esteemed moderators here doing isn't telling people how to "feel" about our Duke team. I see them encouraging people not to be dismissive or upset with the players or coaches. (I'm not referring to the front page article I rarely read those - this is just in reference to the forum discussions).

    This has never been a place for lashing out. Or for doom and gloom posts. Certainly not for bashing 18 year old kids - I haven't seen that here recently, thank goodness.

    DBR for better or for worse has content standards most sports message boards do not. Heck, you can't even use adult language here.

    Fact is, DBR doesn't try to be for everyone. Not even all brands of Duke fans. It has caused some strife and rifts over the years. There are several much more open-ended communities that don't police the language or intent of posts.

    I'm definitely not trying to shuffle people off to other forums, but fact is, some people are more comfortable other places, and that's okay too.

    To your last point - absolutely everyone brings their own baggage and situation to the table. I've been incredibly stressed with work stuff and have felt compelled to issue to PM apologies this week as I've been short tempered and said things I regret.

    Remembering that we are all in different headspaces is ALWAYS a good rule of thumb


    And Eff Cancer. Good luck.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mtn.Devil.91.92.01.10.15 View Post
    I hear you. I don't think there's a single poster on this forum who isn't somewhat frustrated by the results of this season thus far.

    But what I see the esteemed moderators here doing isn't telling people how to "feel" about our Duke team. I see them encouraging people not to be dismissive or upset with the players or coaches. (I'm not referring to the front page article I rarely read those - this is just in reference to the forum discussions).

    This has never been a place for lashing out. Or for doom and gloom posts. Certainly not for bashing 18 year old kids - I haven't seen that here recently, thank goodness.

    DBR for better or for worse has content standards most sports message boards do not. Heck, you can't even use adult language here.

    Fact is, DBR doesn't try to be for everyone. Not even all brands of Duke fans. It has caused some strife and rifts over the years. There are several much more open-ended communities that don't police the language or intent of posts.

    I'm definitely not trying to shuffle people off to other forums, but fact is, some people are more comfortable other places, and that's okay too.

    To your last point - absolutely everyone brings their own baggage and situation to the table. I've been incredibly stressed with work stuff and have felt compelled to issue to PM apologies this week as I've been short tempered and said things I regret.

    Remembering that we are all in different headspaces is ALWAYS a good rule of thumb


    And Eff Cancer. Good luck.
    Can't spork. Well said.

    And agreed. Eff cancer. Hopefully we can all agree on that.
    Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things. - Winston Churchill

    President of the "Nolan Smith Should Have His Jersey in The Rafters" Club

  5. #5
    This could be more about how social media is reacting to Duke's current struggles than DBR. I would venture over to TDD for comparison but that place got coopted by alt right ghouls to drive more people to the paid (and actually moderated) boards.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by HoKogan View Post
    This could be more about how social media is reacting to Duke's current struggles than DBR. I would venture over to TDD for comparison but that place got coopted by alt right ghouls to drive more people to the paid (and actually moderated) boards.
    haha yes, seems like a great time to insert politics into the discussion

  7. #7
    scottdude8's Avatar
    scottdude8 is offline Moderator, Contributor, Zoubek disciple, and resident Wolverine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mtn.Devil.91.92.01.10.15 View Post
    I hear you. I don't think there's a single poster on this forum who isn't somewhat frustrated by the results of this season thus far.

    But what I see the esteemed moderators here doing isn't telling people how to "feel" about our Duke team. I see them encouraging people not to be dismissive or upset with the players or coaches. (I'm not referring to the front page article I rarely read those - this is just in reference to the forum discussions).

    This has never been a place for lashing out. Or for doom and gloom posts. Certainly not for bashing 18 year old kids - I haven't seen that here recently, thank goodness.

    DBR for better or for worse has content standards most sports message boards do not. Heck, you can't even use adult language here.

    Fact is, DBR doesn't try to be for everyone. Not even all brands of Duke fans. It has caused some strife and rifts over the years. There are several much more open-ended communities that don't police the language or intent of posts.

    I'm definitely not trying to shuffle people off to other forums, but fact is, some people are more comfortable other places, and that's okay too.

    To your last point - absolutely everyone brings their own baggage and situation to the table. I've been incredibly stressed with work stuff and have felt compelled to issue to PM apologies this week as I've been short tempered and said things I regret.

    Remembering that we are all in different headspaces is ALWAYS a good rule of thumb


    And Eff Cancer. Good luck.
    Also can't spork, but wish I could.

    I don't think that anyone here, be it a mod or someone with a bunch of sporks, ever intends to suppress conversation or dissent. But there's a difference between saying "I'm concerned the team might not make the tournament this year, and here are my reasons why" and the venting of negativity that we've seen after losses of late. DBR isn't the place to scream your frustrations into the void, because it isn't a void: other people read it. Screaming into the void is how you get some of the insanity that comes out of places like IC (hence the entire Twitter account devoted to their ridiculousness), and it also changes the general tenor and environment of the board. DBR aims to be more than just another fan forum, which is how it's become a legit community for many here.

    I love vigorously debating other posters here when we disagree. But it needs to be a debate: fact based, grounded in reality, and respectful. The only times where I've seen people get upset here is when posts get away from those principles. If you disagree with me about the team's status for the tournament, bring your data... because I will, or at least will try to before Kedsy beats me to it.
    Scott Rich on the front page

    Trinity BS 2012; University of Michigan PhD 2018
    Duke Chronicle, Sports Online Editor: 2010-2012
    K-Ville Blue Tenting 2009-2012

    Unofficial Brian Zoubek Biographer
    If you have questions about Michigan Basketball/Football, I'm your man!

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by peteandpete View Post
    I am growing weary of some of the posters here telling other posters how to feel about the frustrations many of us have over the current men's basketball season. It is a forum. It is not expected, or rather, it should not be expected that we all agree. It is almost chilling to see some people telling others that maybe they should seek different outlets for their frustrations. People don't need to be lectured or called names. Stop projecting. One of the problems is that the college game has been seriously overexposed. Expectations (of players and fans) are unrealistic and we continue to see issues caused by the American evolution of the game which focuses on flash over fundamentals. Many of us don't know each other personally and don't know what's going on in the personal lives of posters. I have cancer, for example. Please stop telling others how to feel. Stay safe and well. Let's Go Duke!
    If you feel like you are being lectured to in a way that is dismissive or disrespectful...
    If you think someone is calling you names...
    If you think someone is arguing in bad faith or being mean...

    I urge you to report the offending post. I guarantee multiple mods will look at it and give the complaint some thoughts.
    Why are you wasting time here when you could be wasting it by listening to the latest episode of the DBR Podcast?

  9. #9
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    New York, NY
    Quote Originally Posted by peteandpete View Post
    I am growing weary of some of the posters here telling other posters how to feel about the frustrations many of us have over the current men's basketball season. It is a forum. It is not expected, or rather, it should not be expected that we all agree. It is almost chilling to see some people telling others that maybe they should seek different outlets for their frustrations. People don't need to be lectured or called names. Stop projecting. One of the problems is that the college game has been seriously overexposed. Expectations (of players and fans) are unrealistic and we continue to see issues caused by the American evolution of the game which focuses on flash over fundamentals. Many of us don't know each other personally and don't know what's going on in the personal lives of posters. I have cancer, for example. Please stop telling others how to feel. Stay safe and well. Let's Go Duke!
    Interesting.

    I hear you about the DBR slant, though I think it has been good for me.

    I like to be basically positive and to only say things online that I would also say to the involved person's face. I have at least as many snarky thoughts as the next person, and it's much easier to have snarky thoughts when we lose winnable games, miss a lot of jump shots, aren't moving the ball well, etc. There is something fun about blowing off steam or going a little overboard, but I like being reminded to behave. And I also try stay aware that the people I'd be tempted to criticize are my own guys, are trying hard, are more upset about the losses than I am, and tend to be teenagers. They are also exceptionally good at what they're doing and are learning on the job in front of millions of people while also attending class. The DBR angle is NOT that you can't criticize, but that the goal is to be substantive, fair-minded, and basically generous with our guys. My impression is that a lot of the regular posters don't like posts that feel like quick, snarky hits--especially when they also seem misguided.

    In other words, I feel like it's a fairly high bar to post on here without getting some critique--though nowhere near the bar that is required to actually play Duke basketball.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by peteandpete View Post
    I am growing weary of some of the posters here telling other posters how to feel about the frustrations many of us have over the current men's basketball season. It is a forum. It is not expected, or rather, it should not be expected that we all agree. It is almost chilling to see some people telling others that maybe they should seek different outlets for their frustrations. People don't need to be lectured or called names. Stop projecting. One of the problems is that the college game has been seriously overexposed. Expectations (of players and fans) are unrealistic and we continue to see issues caused by the American evolution of the game which focuses on flash over fundamentals. Many of us don't know each other personally and don't know what's going on in the personal lives of posters. I have cancer, for example. Please stop telling others how to feel. Stay safe and well. Let's Go Duke!
    There is certainly a Mean Girls vibe to some posters.

  11. #11
    I think that sometimes people are trying to talk other posters off the ledge, which is a good thing.

    I recently beat cancer, so I don’t let a disappointing record affect me too much since it doesn’t seem like a tragedy in comparison. As long as the team is playing hard then things will work out, either this year or next season when some of the players get more experience.

  12. #12
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    I don't think anyone here has a problem with someone else disagreeing with them, even if I have a negative take and someone else has a positive take. What I notice on DBR that's really annoying is you often get told directly or in an implied way by other posters that you shouldn't have said what you said at all, or that the discussion shouldn't be taking place. I posted a lighthearted thread earlier in the season about what Scheyer's nickname should be as a coach. The vast majority of the responses said something along the lines of "we shouldn't be talking about nicknames this early in his career." Ok, then feel free not to participate in that thread.

    I think something along the same lines happens when someone expresses negative feelings or discouragement. Some people respond to that by giving a different perspective and saying "I look at it in a more positive way. I see it like this." No issue there. Others respond by sending the message that the original poster shouldn't have said what they said, or that the topic should not be up for discussion. That's not debating or disagreeing with someone respectfully. It's regulating for no good reason.

  13. #13

    Blocking muted posters that get quoted

    I have one, a single, poster muted because I grew weary of the constant and frequent negativity. But I often see their posts when others quote them in replies. Any way to prevent that?

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by jwillfan View Post
    I have one, a single, poster muted because I grew weary of the constant and frequent negativity. But I often see their posts when others quote them in replies. Any way to prevent that?
    I can't tell if you're joking or not. Hard to tell when you're just reading text.

    If you're not joking, my question is why? Can't you just disregard what he has to say? It might be an appealing idea for me to go back and edit the final scores of all the games Duke has lost, so I can be content with the idea of us having a perfect record so far this season, but that's not reality. When I look at Duke's schedule, I see all the green W's, and I see all the red L's too.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Southgate0809 View Post
    I don't think anyone here has a problem with someone else disagreeing with them, even if I have a negative take and someone else has a positive take. What I notice on DBR that's really annoying is you often get told directly or in an implied way by other posters that you shouldn't have said what you said at all, or that the discussion shouldn't be taking place. I posted a lighthearted thread earlier in the season about what Scheyer's nickname should be as a coach. The vast majority of the responses said something along the lines of "we shouldn't be talking about nicknames this early in his career." Ok, then feel free not to participate in that thread.

    I think something along the same lines happens when someone expresses negative feelings or discouragement. Some people respond to that by giving a different perspective and saying "I look at it in a more positive way. I see it like this." No issue there. Others respond by sending the message that the original poster shouldn't have said what they said, or that the topic should not be up for discussion. That's not debating or disagreeing with someone respectfully. It's regulating for no good reason.
    If there is one thing I’ve learned after more than 20 years at DBR, it is that none of the players are going to come around here for nickname advice.

    Also, lots of people are going to lose perspective and post some really bad takes, particularly after losses. For example, I am pretty sure that back in the winter of 2010 after a bad loss I said that Duke just couldn’t compete at the highest levels unless K could start landing impact big men.
    Carolina delenda est

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by cato View Post
    If there is one thing I’ve learned after more than 20 years at DBR, it is that none of the players are going to come around here for nickname advice.

    Also, lots of people are going to lose perspective and post some really bad takes, particularly after losses. For example, I am pretty sure that back in the winter of 2010 after a bad loss I said that Duke just couldn’t compete at the highest levels unless K could start landing impact big men.
    Well, you're not wrong. Zoubek was a non-impact big man for 3.5 seasons, then became one for the last half of his senior year and boom, championship.

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Natty_B View Post
    There is certainly a Mean Girls vibe to some posters.
    They were trying to make Fetch happen, weren't they

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Southgate0809 View Post
    Well, you're not wrong. Zoubek was a non-impact big man for 3.5 seasons, then became one for the last half of his senior year and boom, championship.
    But I was wrong. I had concluded that Zoubek would never be an impact player and that the Duke program could not regain it prior heights without getting better bigs.

    Zoubs proved me wrong.

    Of course, Coach K would proceed to do a decent job recruiting bigs after that.
    Carolina delenda est

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by cato View Post
    But I was wrong. I had concluded that Zoubek would never be an impact player and that the Duke program could not regain it prior heights without getting better bigs.

    Zoubs proved me wrong.

    Of course, Coach K would proceed to do a decent job recruiting bigs after that.
    Ah I see. I think we were all grateful to be proven wrong by Zoubs that year.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by HoKogan View Post
    This could be more about how social media is reacting to Duke's current struggles than DBR. I would venture over to TDD for comparison but that place got coopted by alt right ghouls to drive more people to the paid (and actually moderated) boards.
    is that true? I admit I hangout solely on Premium Hoops and Elko Lodge (the best discussion of Duke football you can find)...I have found TDD and DBR to complement each other rather well..

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