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  1. #61

    The Shakespeare Insult Game

    For those who teach acting, this one is fun and will help your students with their breathing, phrasing, and their fear of Shakespeare.

    Enjoy.

    Shakespearean Insults
    ©2011, 2013 Walter K. Hurst
    (Adapted from C. Berry of the RSC)
    Pair off. Instruct the students to yell the following insults at each other while the person being yelled at walks away from them as fast as they can without running. When the person yelling finishes the insults, they yell “STOP!”, and turn around and start walking quickly away from the other person, who now chases them while yelling insults from a different page.
    Shakespeare Insult 1 – The Two Gentlemen of Verona
    “Thou subtle, perjur’d, false, disloyal man!”

    Shakespeare Insult 2 – As You Like It
    “Thou art like a toad; ugly and venomous.”

    Shakespeare Insult 3 – The Tempest
    “Thine forward voice, now, is to speak well of thine friend; thine backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract.”

    Shakespeare Insult 4 – Measure For Measure
    “Thou art a flesh-monger, a fool and a coward.”

    Shakespeare Insult 5 – All’s Well That Ends Well
    “A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.”

    Shakespeare Insult 6 – Cymbeline
    “Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of Nile.”

    Shakespeare Insult 7 – Henry IV Part 2
    “You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!”

    Shakespeare Insult 8 – All’s Well That Ends Well
    “Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.”

    Shakespeare Insult 9 – The Winter’s Tale
    “My wife’s a hobby horse!”

    Shakespeare Insult 10 – Troilus and Cressida
    “Thou art as loathsome as a toad.”

    Shakespeare Insult 11 – Macbeth
    “Go, prick thy face, and over-red thy fear, Thou lily-liver’d boy.”

    Shakespeare Insult 12 – Henry IV Part 1
    “Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!”


    Shakespeare Insult 13 – Henry IV Part 1
    “That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”

    Shakespeare Insult 14 – Henry IV Part 1
    “You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!”

    Shakespeare Insult 15 – Henry IV Part 1
    “Peace, ye fat guts!”

    Shakespeare Insult 16 – Henry V
    “There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.”

    Shakespeare Insult 17 – Richard III
    “Thou poisonous bunch-back’d toad!”

    Shakespeare Insult 18 – Richard III
    “Thou art unfit for any place but hell.”
    Shakespeare Insult 19 – Hamlet
    “Thou are pigeon-liver’d and lack gall.”

    Shakespeare Insult 20 – All’s Well That Ends Well
    “Your virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese.”

    Shakespeare Insult 21 – Henry V
    “Thine face is not worth sunburning.”

    Shakespeare Insult 22 – As You Like It
    “Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage.”

    Shakespeare Insult 23 – Henry IV Part 1
    “You are as a candle, the better burnt out.”

    Shakespeare Insult 24 – Hamlet
    “If thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them.”

    Shakespeare Insult 25 – Measure For Measure
    “Thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade.”

    Shakespeare Insult 26 – All’s Well That Ends Well
    “A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.”

    Shakespeare Insult 27 – All’s Well That Ends Well
    “Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.”

    Shakespeare Insult 28 – The Taming Of The Shrew
    “Come, come, you froward and unable worms!”


    Shakespeare Insult 29 – Macbeth
    “Thou cream faced loon”

    Shakespeare Insult 30 – Henry IV Part 1
    “Thou art as fat as butter.”

  2. #62
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Thomasville, NC
    Mine was from " King Lear".

  3. #63
    Quote Originally Posted by WallyHurst View Post

    Enjoy.

    “Peace, ye fat guts!”
    WOW! WallyHurst, winner winner chicken dinner.

    I think this post qualifies as the Shakespeare Tomahawk Slam put away.

    Mic drop.
    Nothing incites bodily violence quicker than a Duke fan turning in your direction and saying 'scoreboard.'

  4. #64
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Deeetroit City
    Quote Originally Posted by WallyHurst View Post
    For those who teach acting, this one is fun and will help your students with their breathing, phrasing, and their fear of Shakespeare.

    Enjoy.

    Shakespearean Insults
    ©2011, 2013 Walter K. Hurst
    (Adapted from C. Berry of the RSC)
    Pair off. Instruct the students to yell the following insults at each other while the person being yelled at walks away from them as fast as they can without running. When the person yelling finishes the insults, they yell “STOP!”, and turn around and start walking quickly away from the other person, who now chases them while yelling insults from a different page.
    Shakespeare Insult 1 – The Two Gentlemen of Verona
    “Thou subtle, perjur’d, false, disloyal man!”

    Shakespeare Insult 2 – As You Like It
    “Thou art like a toad; ugly and venomous.”

    Shakespeare Insult 3 – The Tempest
    “Thine forward voice, now, is to speak well of thine friend; thine backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract.”

    Shakespeare Insult 4 – Measure For Measure
    “Thou art a flesh-monger, a fool and a coward.”

    Shakespeare Insult 5 – All’s Well That Ends Well
    “A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.”

    Shakespeare Insult 6 – Cymbeline
    “Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of Nile.”

    Shakespeare Insult 7 – Henry IV Part 2
    “You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!”

    Shakespeare Insult 8 – All’s Well That Ends Well
    “Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.”

    Shakespeare Insult 9 – The Winter’s Tale
    “My wife’s a hobby horse!”

    Shakespeare Insult 10 – Troilus and Cressida
    “Thou art as loathsome as a toad.”

    Shakespeare Insult 11 – Macbeth
    “Go, prick thy face, and over-red thy fear, Thou lily-liver’d boy.”

    Shakespeare Insult 12 – Henry IV Part 1
    “Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!”


    Shakespeare Insult 13 – Henry IV Part 1
    “That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”

    Shakespeare Insult 14 – Henry IV Part 1
    “You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!”

    Shakespeare Insult 15 – Henry IV Part 1
    “Peace, ye fat guts!”

    Shakespeare Insult 16 – Henry V
    “There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.”

    Shakespeare Insult 17 – Richard III
    “Thou poisonous bunch-back’d toad!”

    Shakespeare Insult 18 – Richard III
    “Thou art unfit for any place but hell.”
    Shakespeare Insult 19 – Hamlet
    “Thou are pigeon-liver’d and lack gall.”

    Shakespeare Insult 20 – All’s Well That Ends Well
    “Your virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese.”

    Shakespeare Insult 21 – Henry V
    “Thine face is not worth sunburning.”

    Shakespeare Insult 22 – As You Like It
    “Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage.”

    Shakespeare Insult 23 – Henry IV Part 1
    “You are as a candle, the better burnt out.”

    Shakespeare Insult 24 – Hamlet
    “If thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them.”

    Shakespeare Insult 25 – Measure For Measure
    “Thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade.”

    Shakespeare Insult 26 – All’s Well That Ends Well
    “A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.”

    Shakespeare Insult 27 – All’s Well That Ends Well
    “Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.”

    Shakespeare Insult 28 – The Taming Of The Shrew
    “Come, come, you froward and unable worms!”


    Shakespeare Insult 29 – Macbeth
    “Thou cream faced loon”

    Shakespeare Insult 30 – Henry IV Part 1
    “Thou art as fat as butter.”

    A joust of jest! A post worthy of contemplation. Thank you! I shall avail myself of these often, note: nary a wanker, none tripped the omnipresent DBR profanity filter. I'll use "bull’s-pizzle" often.

    I was once gently rebuked by a judge for using “Thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade.” in describing opposing counsel's reliance on testimony that was recanted.

    You missed one of my favorites: "you miserable, vomitous mass," but I can't remember which play it is from. I believe it was a comedy ...

  5. #65
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Boston area, OK, Newton, right by Heartbreak Hill
    The final four plays in my vote for your favorite FB tournament are a bit of a surprise: Macbeth, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Much Ado About Nothing, and The Tempest. I've produced 3 of those so far.

  6. #66
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Boston area, OK, Newton, right by Heartbreak Hill
    Maybe not so much an insult, but I've long been partial to

    "Oh God, that I were a man, I would eat his heart in the marketplace" as an expression of extreme distaste.

  7. #67
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Boston area, OK, Newton, right by Heartbreak Hill
    The winner of the FB tournament is . . .

    A Midsummer Night's Dream


    And in honor of that win, "Bottom's Dream":

    When my cue comes, call me, and I will answer. My next is “Most fair Pyramus.” Heigh-ho! Peter Quince? Flute the bellows-mender? Snout the tinker? Starveling? God’s my life, stol'n hence, and left me asleep? I have had a most rare vision. I have had a dream—past the wit of man to say what dream it was. Man is but an I'm a real wanker for saying this.I'm a real wanker for saying this.I'm a real wanker for saying this. if he go about to expound this dream. Methought I was—there is no man can tell what. Methought I was, and methought I had—but man is but a patched fool if he will offer to say what methought I had. The eye of man hath not heard, the ear of man hath not seen, man’s hand is not able to taste, his tongue to conceive, nor his heart to report what my dream was. I will get Peter Quince to write a ballad of this dream. It shall be called “Bottom’s Dream” because it hath no bottom. And I will sing it in the latter end of a play before the duke. Peradventure, to make it the more gracious, I shall sing it at her death.

  8. #68
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Chesapeake, VA.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bostondevil View Post
    Sometimes that wanker thing is annoying and unnecessary.
    And somewhat ironic, given that the word wanker is actually a much worse word than some of the words it replaces. It makes me think that whoever invented the wankerizer didn't or doesn't really understand what the word means and what its origin is.

  9. #69
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Undisclosed
    Quote Originally Posted by rsvman View Post
    And somewhat ironic, given that the word wanker is actually a much worse word than some of the words it replaces. It makes me think that whoever invented the wankerizer didn't or doesn't really understand what the word means and what its origin is.
    Bollocks.

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Chesapeake, VA.
    Quote Originally Posted by OldPhiKap View Post
    Bollocks.
    Well played.

  11. #71
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    I'd tell ya, but then I'd have to kill ya
    I'm reading a 1941 mystery by Stuart Palmer. This is the heading at one of the chapters:

    "I must become a borrower of the night, for a dark hour or twain."

    Honestly not sure exactly what it means, but it sounds cool.

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