What have you done this decade?

[Highlander]

Thanks! I qualified at Grandma's Marathon in Duluth, Minn. It was a beautiful course along Lake Superior. I did the online training runs and just stayed with a pacer.

Then at Boston my goal was to break 3 hours like my Dad had to do to qualify for Boston. I never did break 3 hours.

I was cruising right along on pace at Boston, but it's so cliche. I hit the wall after about mile 20 - Heartbreak Hill. I don't think that hill was tough at all. I still blame not dressing warm enough for hours before the race waiting out in the cold before we started. I'm sure my body used up too much energy shivering in running shorts to stay warm, and I just didn't prepare well for that wait. I finished Boston a little slower than 3:10, and felt like I was barely moving the last 2 miles or so.

I tried again at Chicago, with good training, but ran the race with a bad cold. I fell well off my pace that time after about mile 1. So I just tried to enjoy the great race support and scenery.

So my PR was 3:09 at the Grandma's qualifier. I felt great that day and should have finished that one faster. But I just stayed with the pacer to make sure I qualified.

I never felt like a great runner, just disciplined enough to train hard. I usually got smoked either by more talented runners or those who were mentally tougher.

But you're right, my dream was always to run Boston, not break 3 hours. I should celebrate that more. Moral of the story - if you're headed for a heartbreak, at least slow down and kiss the Wellesley girls.

I'd love to qualify for Boston, but I'm well off the pace. I'm about an 8:30/mile guy for a Marathon. My PR is 3:43 at Charlotte, and last time I checked Boston qualifying cutoff was around 3:10. So that's roughly a minute/mile I'd have to cut. I ran the St. George marathon in Utah several years ago. It had 2,600 feet of net elevation drop and I figured if there was ever a marathon to qualify on, it would be that one. I ran out of steam around mile 22 and finished at around 3:50, which was disappointing. I've kind of come to the conclusion that I'm built more for half marathons. I can run those all out and be fine the next day.

Kind of excited b/c both my sons are doing track in the spring. I remember running against you when we were both in HS (Go Elks!). I clipped you a couple of times as a Junior, but by the end of my Senior year you were smoking me pretty good.

[Jeffrey]

I don't think you will ever regret the change - spending time with your kids is worth more than cash in the bank. I wasn't fortunate to have kids but still remember my niece's comment "That's right. Aunt Barbara can't do it - it's tax season." Although I didn't (don't) miss many family events during tax season, that comment stuck with me so that I arranged time, as much as possible, to attend the little events too.

Completely agree! When our daughter was about 4, she asked me to "play" and I told her I would after doing a long list of yard work. She said, "I wish you did not have to do so much work, all the time, and could just play with me". Our yard now looks horrible. I have not done any yard work, since her comment 7 years ago, and I'm very proud of how our yard now looks.

[richardjackson199]

I'd love to qualify for Boston, but I'm well off the pace. I'm about an 8:30/mile guy for a Marathon. My PR is 3:43 at Charlotte, and last time I checked Boston qualifying cutoff was around 3:10. So that's roughly a minute/mile I'd have to cut. I ran the St. George marathon in Utah several years ago. It had 2,600 feet of net elevation drop and I figured if there was ever a marathon to qualify on, it would be that one. I ran out of steam around mile 22 and finished at around 3:50, which was disappointing. I've kind of come to the conclusion that I'm built more for half marathons. I can run those all out and be fine the next day.

Kind of excited b/c both my sons are doing track in the spring. I remember running against you when we were both in HS (Go Elks!). I clipped you a couple of times as a Junior, but by the end of my Senior year you were smoking me pretty good.

I agree - half marathons are much more fun. After Boston I wanted to enjoy the city, but I could barely walk up a flight of stairs at Fenway the next day.

I don't know if this is still the modern recommendation, but it worked for me 25+ years ago. Starting in the winters before track season, I would do speed interval training on the track. To train for the mile I'd run something like 8 x 400 m trying to get splits under 1:05. Rest jog half lap 200 m in between each. Then use 800 m intervals to train for the 2 mile race.

I think my junior year in high school I was trying to impress a girl on the Surry Central track team. And Surry Central runners were no joke. But I took her to prom! You have to have some kind of motivation to do speed interval training.

I can't wait to hear how your sons do with track!

[bundabergdevil]

I don't think you will ever regret the change - spending time with your kids is worth more than cash in the bank. I wasn't fortunate to have kids but still remember my niece's comment "That's right. Aunt Barbara can't do it - it's tax season." Although I didn't (don't) miss many family events during tax season, that comment stuck with me so that I arranged time, as much as possible, to attend the little events too.

I spent my career in Financial Services, so I took a local job with a large bank doing similar work to what I did consulting. For me this is what did it:
While contemplating the move, I sat down with a good friend of mine who was a senior exec at our company. He was roughly my age, maybe a couple years older. I asked him what appealed to him about the job. He noted the compensation was great (it was), and that there weren't many 60 year olds at our company because most cashed out and retired early, and that appealed to him.

I relayed the conversation to my wife, and she said "That's true, but at 60 years old, our kids will be completely grown and moved away. You will have all this free time, but you will have missed their entire childhood, and you can't get that time back." That hit me hard. Another partner told me to go with my gut at the end of the day, because that was probably would be happiest at. He was right.

The new job paid about what the old job did. Bonuses are much better, but I'm well below the salary I could have made had I stayed. But I was looking at Mon-Thurs travel every week for the foreseeable future, plus a transition from problem solving into sales, which wasn't something I enjoyed doing.

The scouting commitments I have now would have been impossible with my old job. Plus I always felt like I was intruding on my family's life when I returned home. They had adapted to life without me around, and when I returned I felt like a disruption of sorts.

When I took my current job, I was clear that I didn't object to having to travel for work. What I objected to was traveling all week, every week for work for months on end.

I think you'll be happy with the move in the long run. Like I said, the time when your kids are young is time you will never get to do again, so maximize it.

Thanks for the kind words, perspectives. I'm feeling generally good about things, just a pretty significant set of changes. I'm sure I'll forget all about them as soon as the baby arrives though. It's already been a boon in terms of making every doc appointment, etc. My wife's father was a globe trotter for his business and she very vividly remembers the feeling of dad coming home and interrupting the schedule that she and her sister and mom had established. My parents divorced when I was very young so most of my fatherly interactions were summer visits. So, we both have reasons for wanting to be pretty present parents.

Anyway, thanks again and I consider myself fortunate to have the flexibility to make such life changes.

[Neals384]

What a great idea to pose this question.


Attended first two Duke basketball games

Active in five on-line communities, including dbr


With Mrs. Neals, primary support for her Aunt and Step-mom in their final years


Learned python programming to keep techy skills from total atrophy


Primary buddy to two standard poodles (not at the same time)


Leader of deacons at church; office volunteer for another church


Volunteered for non-profit helping disabled


Achieved life-master status at bridge


With Mrs. Neals, mentored a young woman and helped her achieve college dreams


Member of garden railroading club; built model buildings and bridges for railroad at public park


Cheerleader for Mrs. Neals in her volunteer efforts and business


Upgraded residence with addition, deck, shop, etc.


Added to coin collection; learning about Morgan dollar varieties


Became closer to siblings (brother with cancer, newly sober brother, disabled sister, another sister)


Discovered RVing


Tackled various non-life-threatening health issues (kidney stone, anyone?)


Made new friends; lost others (miss you, Bruce!, miss you Sharon!, Miss you Guy!, Miss you Jenny!)


Celebrated anniversaries #36 – 45.

[Reilly]

... When our daughter was about 4, she asked me to "play" and I told her I would after doing a long list of yard work. ... Our yard now looks horrible. I have not done any yard work, since her comment 7 years ago ...

You do know they make kid-sized work gloves, rakes, and wagons, right? C'mon, sweetie, time to go 'play' in the yard ...

[Jeffrey]

You do know they make kid-sized work gloves, rakes, and wagons, right? C'mon, sweetie, time to go 'play' in the yard ...

Tried that on my wife when we bought our first house. My wife didn’t fall for it then, so I didn’t think our daughter would years later.

[richardjackson199]

Tried that on my wife when we bought our first house. My wife didn’t fall for it then, so I didn’t think our daughter would years later.

I think you're doing the right thing. My mother used to do that to me for multiple hours on weekends to help her with yardwork. I was a little kid and it continued. We had a big yard. I absolutely hated it then, and I've been completely resistant to doing yardwork of any kind now probably for that reason.

I no longer pay for cable TV, but I still pay someone to take care of our yard. There was a TV commercial that told me I have to give up my man card for doing that, so they can have it. I choose to relax as much as possible on weekends and have never regretted it.

[Jeffrey]

I think you're doing the right thing. My mother used to do that to me for multiple hours on weekends to help her with yardwork. I was a little kid and it continued. We had a big yard. I absolutely hated it then, and I've been completely resistant to doing yardwork of any kind now probably for that reason.

I no longer pay for cable TV, but I still pay someone to take care of our yard. There was a TV commercial that told me I have to give up my man card for doing that, so they can have it. I choose to relax as much as possible on weekends and have never regretted it.

Thank you, very much, for sharing your childhood experience and perspective. Raising our daughter is, by far, the most important thing I will ever do. I want her to always have great memories of her childhood! Mine was a bummer and I want to make certain her’s is the opposite.

[devildeac]

I think you're doing the right thing. My mother used to do that to me for multiple hours on weekends to help her with yardwork. I was a little kid and it continued. We had a big yard. I absolutely hated it then, and I've been completely resistant to doing yardwork of any kind now probably for that reason.

I no longer pay for cable TV, but I still pay someone to take care of our yard. There was a TV commercial that told me I have to give up my man card for doing that, so they can have it. I choose to relax as much as possible on weekends and have never regretted it.

Very interesting. I had lots of yard chores growing up for my allowance. Today, I look upon yardwork as extra exercise/more steps, plus, a very nice activity to preserve domestic tranquility.

[Jeffrey]

Very interesting. I had lots of yard chores growing up for my allowance. Today, I look upon yardwork as extra exercise/more steps, plus, a very nice activity to preserve domestic tranquility.

Do you think “yardwork” is holding a rake while drinking a beer?

[budwom]

We have devised our yard so it looks pretty nice but requires minimal regular maintenance (e.g. mowing the lawn) plus our growing season is absurdly short.

[Jeffrey]

We have devised our yard so it looks pretty nice but requires minimal regular maintenance (e.g. mowing the lawn) plus our growing season is absurdly short.

A good friend developed a 45 acre neighborhood composed of approximately 37 acres of conservation land and 6 residential lots. She kindly replatted the neighborhood, at my expense, so our 1.3 acre lot is now on top of the highest hill surrounded by approximately 10 acres of conservation land with a driveway easement. If we decide to build our retirement home there, then we plan on leaving our lot native and practically maintenance free.

[Tripping William]

Do you think “yardwork” is holding a rake while drinking a beer?

You mean it’s not? Then why do I have all these lawnmower beers?

[Jeffrey]

You mean it’s not? Then why do I have all these lawnmower beers?

Absolutely, it is. Unfortunately, my wife will not rush to the store and replenish my supplies when I’m out there working hardly.

[devildeac]

Do you think “yardwork” is holding a rake while drinking a beer?

That might be my second definition. I actually enjoy mowing and bush and tree-trimming and did a lot of spot-seeding this fall. My wife does all the flower planting.

[devildeac]

You mean it’s not? Then why do I have all these lawnmower beers?

As appetizers for your shower beers?

[Jeffrey]

I actually enjoy mowing and bush and tree-trimming and did a lot of spot-seeding this fall.

If only we were next door neighbors, you could have twice as much fun!

[devildeac]

If only we were next door neighbors, you could have twice as much fun!

Indeed; with the beautification of your property *and* a nice variety of thirst quenchers .

[Jeffrey]

Indeed; with the beautification of your property *and* a nice variety of thirst quenchers .

Absolutely; unlimited potential and opportunity!