Originally Posted by
devil84
I loved this joke until I lived it.
I was riding my road bike just outside of Burnsville, NC, with my son and son-in-law. It was a beautiful day, riding along a fairly flat road along a lazy little creek. We were enjoying a nice ride, though I was challenged to keep up with the youth. While we were out mostly for a fun ride (as opposed to a hammer-fest, hardcore workout), we found the Strava segments* to try for a KOM, where one of them was victorious leaving the other to take third, I think. I didn't register in the top anything. Not even close.
As we were headed home, we saw a couple of cars stopped in the distance. They moved along well before we got there. As we came upon the same spot, we noticed wet bear tracks across the road. Shortly thereafter, we saw Mama bear and her two cubs across the river bank.
I was demonstrably the slowest in the group -- and thinking about that joke.
We chose to quietly break into a sprint (one of my fastest, ever!) and my son and son-in-law stayed right on my shoulder, three abreast, so we looked much wider and larger as a group. Fortunately, bikes don't make a lot of noise, and all we did was increase our speed. We rounded a bend and were out of eyesight, but kept going until we rounded another couple of bends, to put enough distance between us. Thankfully, Mama chose to ignore us.
With a top speed of about 25 mph (the average speed of the Tour de France peloton), it's difficult for the average cyclist to outrun a bear, especially in a sustained chase. So the slowest cyclist is the target. That target was me! That joke loses it's humor and becomes a mantra to hold a high cadences turning over those pedals.
Mama bear graciously allowed us to move through her home without threatening us. Such magnificent creatures. I wish it were safe to sit there and observe her and the cubs. Best to just let them be.
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*Strava is an app for athletes to track workouts, usually with fitness watches that track GPS, heart rate, cadence, and other statistics and gives you tools to track your progress. It also has a "segments" feature, which are short sections of roads or trails that are usually particularly hard hills or long, fast sprints. Strava tracks your pace over the segment and lets you compare your speed to everyone else's. The fastest time is called the KOM, or King of the Mountain (QOM, or Queen of the Mountain for women). Strava segments are a thing with athletes, especially when you're good enough to collect KOMs/QOMs. My son has a number of them. I'm in no danger of collecting any! Strava gives me tons of data that quantitatively proves I am the slowest in the family.