Dear Abby:
I am a small business owner in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia
and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City.
I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994.The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel. Her time there is limited as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street, and hopefully, the heroin habits.
All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiance and
look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be
totally honest with her.
Should I tell her about my employee's husband who is a Kentucky fan?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
Or something along these lines. I originally heard this with the concluding question being "my brother who went to Clemson." Must have been a South Carolina grad's letter.
[redacted] them and the horses they rode in on.