Worst commentators/analysts

[DukeWarhead]

I don't claim to know much about broadcasting, but I know what sounds like useful, worthwhile sports commentary and what sounds like garbage. I also understand my certain Duke bias here, but I have to say that listening to Seth Greenburg and, periodically, Matt Doh try to provide insight on college basketball is painful. I think they are pretty worthless as commentators. It's hard to put a finger on it, or offer a specific example, but their analysis seems like wasted airtime.
Sure, I guess the same can be said about a number of folks you see and hear on ESPN and other broadcasts, but I can't think of any others that made me feel compelled to comment on it. Guys like Packer, Elmore, and others can say stuff that make you shake your head, but they seem to know the game pretty well. If I turned the radio in a middle of a Seth Greenburg commentary, I'd probably assume it was just some shmoe whose realm of expertise is limited to the Sportcenter Plays of the Day.
Not everybody can be a Jay Bilas or Bobby Knight (who, IMO, gives fantastic color commentary and analysis even if he sounds bored doing it), but shouldn't you have to have some kind of talent for it before they throw you up there on the pre or post game analysis show??? It's one thing to be known for saying highly debatable stuff (Gottlieb), but another to sound like you know the game about as well as the average dude listening to the radio.
Of course this is nothing new, but Greenburg and Doh just bring it out of me.

[hurleyfor3]

I don't mind Greenburg. In fact he's my favorite commentator named Seth and my favorite commentator with a Jewish name.

Is Len Elmore even on espn anymore? I don't recall hearing him this year. This is the way I'm going to appreciate Doris Burke -- next time I have suffer through Burke's zero-value-adding color commentary, I'll imagine Elmore doing it instead.

[weezie]

This is the way I'm going to appreciate Doris Burke -- next time I have suffer through Burke's zero-value-adding color commentary, I'll imagine Elmore doing it instead.

I have to admit that Doris's hair looks a lot less broom straw colored in person. But she still needs to lose the blonde highlights.
Maybe I'll imagine Elmore in a fright wig instead. I think he may have actually made an appearance on CBS; somebody in scheduling must have lost a bet.
I cannot stand disgraced "coach" Bruce Pearl and others calling him "coach" all the time.

[basket1544]

I don't have a problem with Doris Burke at all. She has had some announcing errors and gets tongue-tied sometimes, but nothing more than others do. She recently was the announcer for the Knicks Warriors game and she took time during Stephen's amazing game of more than 50 points to talk about how great Seth has been doing and about Coach K's influence on the Olympians and FIBA players that were playing in this game (JKidd, Melo, Tyson, and Steph).

[theAlaskanBear]

I have to admit that Doris's hair looks a lot less broom straw colored in person. But she still needs to lose the blonde highlights.
Maybe I'll imagine Elmore in a fright wig instead. I think he may have actually made an appearance on CBS; somebody in scheduling must have lost a bet.
I cannot stand disgraced "coach" Bruce Pearl and others calling him "coach" all the time.

I like Burke, she has serious demeanor and calls a lot of NBA games. Sometimes she is kind of a bland color announcer but I prefer that over the blustery empty air types. I do have to say I find your comment a bit disappointing. Analyze her commenting and analysis, why is her hairstyle relevant to this conversation?

I actually don't mind Greenberg, although sometimes he tries to beat a point to death and just repeats himself. Bilas and Knight would be my favorite, although sometimes Knight can wander. Nothing beats a Schulman called game, unless they pair him with Dickie V.

[cptnflash]

Man, you guys are a tough crowd. I think Doris and Seth are both great, at least relative to the alternatives. Seth has excellent on air presence, is the right mix of affable and snarky (unlike Gottlieb), and actually provides useful basketball insights and coaching perspectives from time to time. He's by far the best of the "fired coaches" crowd on ESPN... Gaudio and Pearl are waterboys compared to Greenberg. And Doris is knowledgable, clever (mostly), articulate, and provides appropriate energy without being overly dramatic. She can do Duke games any time, as far as I'm concerned.

In-game announcers I don't like include:
Dick Vitale (self-evidently awful)
Len Elmore (too grumpy)
Mike Patrick (pretty sure he's drunk most of the time)
Jay Williams (spouts cliches and is inarticulate while doing it)
Dino Gaudio (something about his voice just grates on me)

Unfortunately, with the exception of Gaudio, we get all of the above doing our games quite a bit.

[BlueDevilBrowns]

There seems to be a high level of Doris Burke worship on the boards lately but honestly I find her boring. She's very competent and usually accurate, but boring.

And as long as we're being honest, I prefer to have men call men's games and women call women's games. I don't have a logical explanation, it's just preference I suppose.

Jimmy Dykes constant Kentucky worship is annoying and Mike Patrick has been terrible doing play-by-play for years. Clark Kellogg says nothing but yet talks constantly.

OK I'm done complaining now.

[arnie]

There seems to be a high level of Doris Burke worship on the boards lately but honestly I find her boring. She's very competent and usually accurate, but boring.

And as long as we're being honest, I prefer to have men call men's games and women call women's games. I don't have a logical explanation, it's just preference I suppose.

Jimmy Dykes constant Kentucky worship is annoying and Mike Patrick has been terrible doing play-by-play for years. Clark Kellogg says nothing but yet talks constantly.

OK I'm done complaining now.

One stands heads above all others: Mike Patrick. There will never be a less knowledgeable announcer in any sport.

[weezie]

I do have to say I find your comment a bit disappointing. Analyze her commenting and analysis, why is her hairstyle relevant to this conversation?

Hahaha, don't be disappointed. It isn't sexist!
Tim Brando and Mike Patrick both have terrifying comb-overs, there, is that better?!

She's far better covering the pros, which is probably where her heart is. Her college game is trite, sometimes sappy and rather amateur, repeating herself all the time.
OK, can I be excused now?

[MCFinARL]

Man, you guys are a tough crowd. I think Doris and Seth are both great, at least relative to the alternatives. Seth has excellent on air presence, is the right mix of affable and snarky (unlike Gottlieb), and actually provides useful basketball insights and coaching perspectives from time to time. He's by far the best of the "fired coaches" crowd on ESPN... Gaudio and Pearl are waterboys compared to Greenberg. And Doris is knowledgable, clever (mostly), articulate, and provides appropriate energy without being overly dramatic. She can do Duke games any time, as far as I'm concerned.

In-game announcers I don't like include:
Dick Vitale (self-evidently awful)
Len Elmore (too grumpy)
Mike Patrick (pretty sure he's drunk most of the time)
Jay Williams (spouts cliches and is inarticulate while doing it)
Dino Gaudio (something about his voice just grates on me)

Unfortunately, with the exception of Gaudio, we get all of the above doing our games quite a bit.

I actually think Jay Williams has improved a lot. Won't say he is excellent but he is okay. Dino Gaudio's voice may bother you because of his tri-state (Ohio/W.Va/Pa) Appalachian accent--it's an acquired taste for those of us who grew up with it.

[OldPhiKap]

I like Dino, I like Doris.

Mike Patrick is like a comfortable T-shirt that is familiar but past it's prime.

Len Elmore is the milk that went sour a long time ago.

Dickie V is the passionate uncle that stopped making sense years ago.

Bilas, Knight are the ones I am glad to hear.

[Cameron]

I really like Dino Guadio if for nothing more than the fact that he actually breaks the game down. He understands the game and his love for it is palpable. I respect that madly.

There are other announcers that will actually attempt to break down a game, but they are few and far between. The higher profile guys, like Vitale and Kellogg, they are self-promoters and far too concerned about inventing new plays on words than they are actually calling the basketball game -- Kellogg's insistency to refer to players who have fouled out as being "Dairy Queen'd" is both bizarre and idiotic.

Vitale was the standard back in the day. He was at the top of his game in the mid part of the '90s. But he's a cartoon now.

[Greg_Newton]

The only one worth mentioning in the same breath as Len Elmore is that ridiculous guy we had in Atlantis. Danny someone, maybe? Worst terper I've ever heard, which is saying something.

[rthomas]

A better question is: how many times does this very thing get kicked around on DBR each year? good, bad, sucky, very sucky, Duke, anti Duke, hater, lover, Elmore, Elmore's Bizarro.

[killerleft]

I must be a secret pyromaniac. My two favorites are Dan Bonner and Len Elmore. Worst are Vitale and Clark "Squeeze the Orange" Kellog. Bonner actually watches the game and makes comments pertinent to what he sees, which is rare for the breed. Kellog seems to be trying awfully hard to be the next Vitale.

Jim Nantz never gets mentioned in these threads. Is he the invisible man?

[hurleyfor3]

Jim Nantz never gets mentioned in these threads. Is he the invisible man?

I've grown to like him. After the 2010 championship game he visited with the Duke students and the floor and (separately) I exchanged a few good-natured words with him. I like Mike Tirico better as a play-by-play guy, however.

[killerleft]

I've grown to like him. After the 2010 championship game he visited with the Duke students and the floor and (separately) I exchanged a few good-natured words with him. I like Mike Tirico better as a play-by-play guy, however.

I like both Tirico and Nantz. Nantz is so good at being Mr. Vanilla he gets overlooked.

[burnspbesq]

I loves me some Dan Bonner. He's the best. Coach Knight gives the most insight, but he gets so wrapped up in getting his point across that he loses the flow of the game. Bilas is good, but he's not at the Bonner level. G-Man is also good.

A couple of years ago, Westwood One paired Spiro Dedas, the Lakers' play-by-play guy, with Spanarkel, and they were really good together.

On the women's side, neither Doris nor anyone else can hold a candle to Deb Antonelli. Lobo is improving; she was surprisingly good on the ND-UConn game tonight.

I'll bet Bob McKillop, the Davidson coach, would be fantastic. He gives great press conference. Quin would probably also be very good.

I miss Jim Thacker. If you don't know who that was, get off my lawn, you rotten kids.

[OldSchool]

THE WHITE RAVEN
(apologies to Edgar Allen Poe)

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I snacked and sipped a brewsky,
Over many a quaint and curious website of Blue Devil lore,
While I nodded, nearly slumping, suddenly there came a thumping,
As of someone gently dribbling, dribbling on the Cameron floor.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `dribbling on the Cameron floor -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was nodding, and so gently you came dribbling,
And so faintly you came dribbling, dribbling on the Cameron floor,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened the gym door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no Crazy ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Wojo?'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Wojo?'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back to my K’ville tent returning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a thumping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is someone at a late night practice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis wind sprints and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the doors wide, when, in the dark I faintly spied,
In there stood a giant raven of Miami fame of days before.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of bird (to-wit Larry), launched his shots from the Cameron floor -
Perched upon the three-point line, a favored spot upon the floor -
Air, and net, and nothing more.

Then this ivory bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance he wore,
`Though thy face be quite unshaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and low post raven wandering far from the paint to score -
Tell me whom the worst of all is, the commentator most to ignore -
Who’s the worst one to deplore?’

Thus I stood engaged in guessing, with my syllables expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
‘Is it Digger you say? or the Bilastrator? He is not convincing.
Or Dickie V it must surely be, for no one is more annoying than he -
Tell me raven! Unless it be Greenberg or Pearl or Raftery?
Say, or be silent evermore!’

`Prophet!' said I, `thou a Blue Devil, and prophet still, if a lame Blue Devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Hobbled yet all undaunted, in this stadium enchanted -
On this home court by loss unhaunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Who is worst talking head? - tell me - tell me, I implore!!'
Quoth the raven, `LEN ELMORE.'

[Edouble]

The only one worth mentioning in the same breath as Len Elmore is that ridiculous guy we had in Atlantis. Danny someone, maybe? Worst terper I've ever heard, which is saying something.

Donny Marshall.

Ugh, I had almost forgotten him too!