Twilight: Breaking Dawn Pt 2 review

[JasonEvans]

First of all, nothing I say matters to 90% of the people who are going to see this movie. The Twi-hards who have enjoyed/endured the previous 4 films are going to have to see this. So, I am not sure what I am doing here talking about it. I suppose I might convince a few undecideds... maybe.

At my screening there were probably 20 or 30 women for every man – and most of the men there were critics, like me, who were forced to attend. Now, I had heard that this movie would be more “guy friendly” than the other 4 in the series, and I suppose it is because there is a more action in this movie, but I still spent the entire first hour of the film yawning and waiting for the promised action and excitement to show up. Twilight has always been about angst and longing glances and other stuff like that that is, well, yawn inducting to me. This movie is only marginally different.



There was more humor in this movie than I recall in the earlier franchise flicks. There are a couple really funny scenes with Taylor Lautner, believe it or not. In the last movie, he ripped his shirt off in the very first scene. In this movie it takes him about 30 minutes to begin disrobing... and the way he does it is one of the funniest and best scenes in the entire franchise.

Once the tension ramps up in the final hour and once the action gets started, it is pretty fun. There is a big change from the book in that there is a major vampire battle at the end of the movie. It includes dozens of vampire beheadings and lots of shocking vampire deaths! The audience was gasping and cheering left and right, really into the scene. But, then, the way the finally resolve all of it was so lame that I ended up hating everything I had just seen. I don’t want to say more because I don't want to spoil it... at least not for a couple more days.

One last thing – the folks behind the Twilight films have always been total cheapskates and it just sucks. They refuse to spend real money on these movies, even though the films a like owning a money-printing machine! I mean, these movies all make $400+ mil in the US and $700+ mil worldwide, and yet these producers refuse to spend more than $120 or $130 million on the films. By comparison, the last four Harry Potter movies each cost over $150 million to make. As a result of the filmmakers penny pinching on Twilight, the wolves always look cheesy and fake. Well, in this movie, they do something far worse. Bella and Edward’s baby, Renesmee, has a computer generated face, so she can show emotions that a baby does not normally show... and it is just awful. I am telling you, this CGI baby makes the wolves look great by comparison. It is distracting and creepy and takes the moviegoer out of any emotion connected to the child. This CGI baby is going to haunt my dreams. A critic friend of mine said, for a franchise about vampires and werewolves, the CGI baby was the scariest thing we’ve ever seen!

This picture does not do it justice... the creepy CGI baby must be seen to be believed.


This was a fitting end to the series. There is more action than in previous films, but the final resolution destroys any credibility the action might have brought to the film. These have been wretched, unbearable, cheesy films but the last one was the most bearable of all of them for me. Still, I am not the target audience here. The crowd who loves these movies will get everything they want and more from it. The final credits acknowledge the journey from the start of the franchise, as they include every meaningful actor who has appeared in any of the movies, even ones who did not show up at all in this last one. Fans will love it, even if I didn’t.

-Jason "though this is the best of the Twilight series, that is a bit like saying this is the best dung sandwich I have ever eaten" Evans

[BD80]

... Bella and Edward’s baby, Renesmee, has a computer generated face, so she can show emotions that a baby does not normally show... and it is just awful. ... This CGI baby is going to haunt my dreams. ...

-Jason "though this is the best of the Twilight series, that is a bit like saying this is the best dung sandwich I have ever eaten" Evans

Doesn't give investment advice does he?

[JNort]

I read the books and couldn't understand how they would make a movie on just the second half of it. Almost literally nothing happens in it! The entire book was a buildup to a fight that ends up going like this (Well a rough interpretation):

Volturi show up
Volturi- Hey, yall broke one of the biggest vampire laws and we are here to kill you.

Bella and Co.- Uhh we actually didn't and besides we could probably take you.

Volturi size up the situation
Volturi- Yeah your probably right, we will be on our way now. However we will be keeping an eye on things.

Volturi leave and book ends.

The entire book leads up to that!!! After all this recruiting and strategizing for an epic fight to the death and not so much as a hateful word... But you said they changed the ending?!?! Can't wait till you reveal that because I will deff not be watching (Seen the previous 4 and am officially done)

[BD80]

... because I will deff not be watching (Seen the previous 4 and am officially done)

My sympathies for enduring the 1st 4. Thankfully, after the first, my stepdaughter reached the age where she could drive and would rather see the movie with friends than with me. I like to think I suffered through the first in silence, but I probably didn't. I am quite accomplished at snorting in derision, and may have displayed my impressive range that evening during my waking moments.

That evening I empathized with those who get scholarships to unc: it was generally a very good thing being with my daughter, but it pained me to be there and I hoped nobody would see me there.

[JasonEvans]

I read the books and couldn't understand how they would make a movie on just the second half of it. Almost literally nothing happens in it! The entire book was a buildup to a fight that ends up going like this (Well a rough interpretation):

Volturi show up
Volturi- Hey, yall broke one of the biggest vampire laws and we are here to kill you.

Bella and Co.- Uhh we actually didn't and besides we could probably take you.

Volturi size up the situation
Volturi- Yeah your probably right, we will be on our way now. However we will be keeping an eye on things.

Volturi leave and book ends.

The entire book leads up to that!!! After all this recruiting and strategizing for an epic fight to the death and not so much as a hateful word... But you said they changed the ending?!?! Can't wait till you reveal that because I will deff not be watching (Seen the previous 4 and am officially done)

So, does anyone here care if I reveal what happens at the end that is different from the book? It is both the coolest and lamest moment in the entire series! Frankly, if you were really dying to see this series, you probably already went to a midnight showing.

-Jason "I'll wait a couple hours... if no objection, I will reveal this monstrosity" Evans

[bjornolf]

I say go for it. Maybe just put a big spoiler alert and scroll down, or do it in white or something.

[JasonEvans]

Ok, so here is the ENDING SPOILERS!!!

Warning: do not continue reading if you do not want the ending ruined for you.

You have been warned.

So, the Cullen clan have gathered all their vampire friends from across the planet. They have figured out that the Volturi are spoiling for a fight and don't really care whether Renesmee is an immortal child or not because the Volutri do this kind of thing all the time. The way the Volturi have amassed a pretty much unbeatable vampire army is that whenever they find a vampire that has a truly special extra ability (they all have some extra ability, but some are more "extra" than others) the Volturi make an excuse to kill everyone in that clan except for the one "extra special" clan member who is then forced to join the Volturi. The member of the Cullens that the Volturi want is Alice, who can see into the future.

So, the Cullens and the Volturi gather on the field of battle and, even though the Volturi become convinced that Renesmee is not an immortal child, they deem that she must be killed anyway because they have no idea what this half-immortal child will eventually become and if her future is unknown then she must be eliminated. Lame, I know, but the Volturi and the Cullens are about to attack...

...when suddenly, Alice steps forward. She says she can prove that Renesmee will not be a danger by allowing Aro, the head Volturi, to see her vision of the future. He touches her and then declares that he is unconvinced of her vision. That is when the fighting starts.

The first thing that happens is the Carlisle Cullen, the head of the Cullen Clan and Edwards "father" jumps toward Aro, who beheads and kills Carlisle in a matter of seconds. It is a brutal death and leaves no doubt that beloved characters are about to die. The entire audience screamed in shock in the screening I attended.

More characters the audience has grown to know and love get killed as the battle continues to rage. The Cullens and their allies (including the werewolves) are getting their butts kicked, though Bella is a big help because she is a "shield" with the ability to protect members of the Cullen clan from the extra abilities of the Volturi army. Slowly, the tide begins to turn, and the Cullens start kicking Volturi butt. One of the three main Volturi get killed. So do the brother and sister who are strongest members of the Volturi army. Aro, the head Volturi, enters the fray, battling Edward and Bella at the same time.

Edward throws Bella into Aro, knocking him off balance and allowing Edward to get a hold of Aro's head. In a feat of tremendous strength, Edward rips Aro's head off and Bella grabs a torch to burn his body, the one way to finally and irrevocably kill a vampire.

Let me say that up to this moment, I was loving the final battle. It had great loss and great victories. It was full of action and excitement. The audience was gasping, cheering, and crying at the same time. It was unquestionably the best moments in all 5 Twilight films. And then...

Just as Aro's head begins to burn, we see him alive and well from 15 minutes earlier. Alice pulls her hand away from his face. It turns out that the entire battle we just witnessed was merely Alice's vision of the future that she has shared with Aro as a warning. Aro, realizing that battling the clan will result in his own death, declares that he has been convinced that Renesmee is not a danger and there is no reason for this conflict to go any further. The Volturi army leaves without anyone getting hurt at all. At some point, Alice brings in an American Indian-looking dude who is a half-immortal just like Renesmee who has been around for close to 200 years without any problems for the vampire world, further proof that Renesmee will be just fine.

So, in case you missed it in my description, they essentially end the movie with a huge, exciting battle and then end the battle by saying, "Psych, it was all a dream!" No one who we saw die is dead. None of the excitement or sacrifice was real. It was all just a "vision" in Alice's head.

Cheap!! Cheat!! Ridiculous!! The lamest of all storytelling techniques!! Offensive, and insulting, to the audience. This was just wrong!!

So, there you have it. Now you don't need to see the movie -- though, when it comes on cable, I recommend watching the final 30 minutes just so you can enjoy the battle and then laugh at how they "clean everything up" in the end.

-Jason "I think the movie should have really gone all-in on the fake battle -- they should have killed Jacob or Bella or Edward... or at least Renesmee" Evans

[JNort]

Ok, so here is the ENDING SPOILERS!!!

Warning: do not continue reading if you do not want the ending ruined for you.

You have been warned.

So, the Cullen clan have gathered all their vampire friends from across the planet. They have figured out that the Volturi are spoiling for a fight and don't really care whether Renesmee is an immortal child or not because the Volutri do this kind of thing all the time. The way the Volturi have amassed a pretty much unbeatable vampire army is that whenever they find a vampire that has a truly special extra ability (they all have some extra ability, but some are more "extra" than others) the Volturi make an excuse to kill everyone in that clan except for the one "extra special" clan member who is then forced to join the Volturi. The member of the Cullens that the Volturi want is Alice, who can see into the future.

So, the Cullens and the Volturi gather on the field of battle and, even though the Volturi become convinced that Renesmee is not an immortal child, they deem that she must be killed anyway because they have no idea what this half-immortal child will eventually become and if her future is unknown then she must be eliminated. Lame, I know, but the Volturi and the Cullens are about to attack...

...when suddenly, Alice steps forward. She says she can prove that Renesmee will not be a danger by allowing Aro, the head Volturi, to see her vision of the future. He touches her and then declares that he is unconvinced of her vision. That is when the fighting starts.

The first thing that happens is the Carlisle Cullen, the head of the Cullen Clan and Edwards "father" jumps toward Aro, who beheads and kills Carlisle in a matter of seconds. It is a brutal death and leaves no doubt that beloved characters are about to die. The entire audience screamed in shock in the screening I attended.

More characters the audience has grown to know and love get killed as the battle continues to rage. The Cullens and their allies (including the werewolves) are getting their butts kicked, though Bella is a big help because she is a "shield" with the ability to protect members of the Cullen clan from the extra abilities of the Volturi army. Slowly, the tide begins to turn, and the Cullens start kicking Volturi butt. One of the three main Volturi get killed. So do the brother and sister who are strongest members of the Volturi army. Aro, the head Volturi, enters the fray, battling Edward and Bella at the same time.

Edward throws Bella into Aro, knocking him off balance and allowing Edward to get a hold of Aro's head. In a feat of tremendous strength, Edward rips Aro's head off and Bella grabs a torch to burn his body, the one way to finally and irrevocably kill a vampire.

Let me say that up to this moment, I was loving the final battle. It had great loss and great victories. It was full of action and excitement. The audience was gasping, cheering, and crying at the same time. It was unquestionably the best moments in all 5 Twilight films. And then...

Just as Aro's head begins to burn, we see him alive and well from 15 minutes earlier. Alice pulls her hand away from his face. It turns out that the entire battle we just witnessed was merely Alice's vision of the future that she has shared with Aro as a warning. Aro, realizing that battling the clan will result in his own death, declares that he has been convinced that Renesmee is not a danger and there is no reason for this conflict to go any further. The Volturi army leaves without anyone getting hurt at all. At some point, Alice brings in an American Indian-looking dude who is a half-immortal just like Renesmee who has been around for close to 200 years without any problems for the vampire world, further proof that Renesmee will be just fine.

So, in case you missed it in my description, they essentially end the movie with a huge, exciting battle and then end the battle by saying, "Psych, it was all a dream!" No one who we saw die is dead. None of the excitement or sacrifice was real. It was all just a "vision" in Alice's head.

Cheap!! Cheat!! Ridiculous!! The lamest of all storytelling techniques!! Offensive, and insulting, to the audience. This was just wrong!!

So, there you have it. Now you don't need to see the movie -- though, when it comes on cable, I recommend watching the final 30 minutes just so you can enjoy the battle and then laugh at how they "clean everything up" in the end.

-Jason "I think the movie should have really gone all-in on the fake battle -- they should have killed Jacob or Bella or Edward... or at least Renesmee" Evans

Lol I just asked my sister about it and she said she loved it! I agree that that is a lame way to end a lame series but sheesh I don't understand how this movie series made it and made it very very well.

[ncexnyc]

Ok, so here is the ENDING SPOILERS!!!

Warning: do not continue reading if you do not want the ending ruined for you.

You have been warned.

So, the Cullen clan have gathered all their vampire friends from across the planet. They have figured out that the Volturi are spoiling for a fight and don't really care whether Renesmee is an immortal child or not because the Volutri do this kind of thing all the time. The way the Volturi have amassed a pretty much unbeatable vampire army is that whenever they find a vampire that has a truly special extra ability (they all have some extra ability, but some are more "extra" than others) the Volturi make an excuse to kill everyone in that clan except for the one "extra special" clan member who is then forced to join the Volturi. The member of the Cullens that the Volturi want is Alice, who can see into the future.

So, the Cullens and the Volturi gather on the field of battle and, even though the Volturi become convinced that Renesmee is not an immortal child, they deem that she must be killed anyway because they have no idea what this half-immortal child will eventually become and if her future is unknown then she must be eliminated. Lame, I know, but the Volturi and the Cullens are about to attack...

...when suddenly, Alice steps forward. She says she can prove that Renesmee will not be a danger by allowing Aro, the head Volturi, to see her vision of the future. He touches her and then declares that he is unconvinced of her vision. That is when the fighting starts.

The first thing that happens is the Carlisle Cullen, the head of the Cullen Clan and Edwards "father" jumps toward Aro, who beheads and kills Carlisle in a matter of seconds. It is a brutal death and leaves no doubt that beloved characters are about to die. The entire audience screamed in shock in the screening I attended.

More characters the audience has grown to know and love get killed as the battle continues to rage. The Cullens and their allies (including the werewolves) are getting their butts kicked, though Bella is a big help because she is a "shield" with the ability to protect members of the Cullen clan from the extra abilities of the Volturi army. Slowly, the tide begins to turn, and the Cullens start kicking Volturi butt. One of the three main Volturi get killed. So do the brother and sister who are strongest members of the Volturi army. Aro, the head Volturi, enters the fray, battling Edward and Bella at the same time.

Edward throws Bella into Aro, knocking him off balance and allowing Edward to get a hold of Aro's head. In a feat of tremendous strength, Edward rips Aro's head off and Bella grabs a torch to burn his body, the one way to finally and irrevocably kill a vampire.

Let me say that up to this moment, I was loving the final battle. It had great loss and great victories. It was full of action and excitement. The audience was gasping, cheering, and crying at the same time. It was unquestionably the best moments in all 5 Twilight films. And then...

Just as Aro's head begins to burn, we see him alive and well from 15 minutes earlier. Alice pulls her hand away from his face. It turns out that the entire battle we just witnessed was merely Alice's vision of the future that she has shared with Aro as a warning. Aro, realizing that battling the clan will result in his own death, declares that he has been convinced that Renesmee is not a danger and there is no reason for this conflict to go any further. The Volturi army leaves without anyone getting hurt at all. At some point, Alice brings in an American Indian-looking dude who is a half-immortal just like Renesmee who has been around for close to 200 years without any problems for the vampire world, further proof that Renesmee will be just fine.

So, in case you missed it in my description, they essentially end the movie with a huge, exciting battle and then end the battle by saying, "Psych, it was all a dream!" No one who we saw die is dead. None of the excitement or sacrifice was real. It was all just a "vision" in Alice's head.

Cheap!! Cheat!! Ridiculous!! The lamest of all storytelling techniques!! Offensive, and insulting, to the audience. This was just wrong!!

So, there you have it. Now you don't need to see the movie -- though, when it comes on cable, I recommend watching the final 30 minutes just so you can enjoy the battle and then laugh at how they "clean everything up" in the end.

-Jason "I think the movie should have really gone all-in on the fake battle -- they should have killed Jacob or Bella or Edward... or at least Renesmee" Evans

The writers must have been fans of Dallas or maybe Lost. You did a great job of describing the final battle and I doubt fans of the movie agree with anything you wrote. I mean who wants to see these characters they love so much slaughtered?

[bjornolf]

I don't think we ever see what Alice showed Aro in the book, so this is a way for the movie to:

1. Have a climactic battle at the end while still remaining true to the book
2. Show what Alice shared with Aro from the book
3. Explain why Aro wouldn't try to kill them all, since he wanted Bella, Edward, and Alice so bad
4. Justify torturing us with a fourth movie and thus rake in a ton more cash

You can see it as a cheesy takeback and I wouldn't argue, but it DOES allow for a climactic battle scene without completely breaking the plot of the books.

[jay]

Ok, so here is the ENDING SPOILERS!!!


So, in case you missed it in my description, they essentially end the movie with a huge, exciting battle and then end the battle by saying, "Psych, it was all a dream!" No one who we saw die is dead. None of the excitement or sacrifice was real. It was all just a "vision" in Alice's head.

Cheap!! Cheat!! Ridiculous!! The lamest of all storytelling techniques!! Offensive, and insulting, to the audience. This was just wrong!!

Long-time lurker, first time poster, so be gentle

Look, I'm no fan of the series or of the movies, I've been the supportive husband who goes to see them with my wife because she agrees to go see stuff like Bourne and Skyfall.

But I have to say the above is a bit over the top. Like I said, I have no dog in this fight, and I have laughed my way through the "saga," but I actually enjoyed the way that part played out toward the end of the movie. I have not read any of the books, so I didn't know that no one really died in the end, so for me it was actually kind of entertaining. It's not often you go to the movies, and the whole theater makes an audible and collective gasp at the same time. That was pretty cool, actually.

It's not as if the whole entire series was a dream or a vision. Just 15 minutes of one movie. I didn't find it to be that big of a deal, and certainly not something that was "offensive" or "insulting." I think perhaps you may be allowing your disdain of the franchise to show through a bit too much.

[Udaman]

Agreed it sounds cheesy, and agreed 100% with JE - if you are going to do that, why not go all out. Why not have one of the main 3 characters killed...or all of them. THAT would have been awesome, just for the reactions on everyone's faces.

So they copped out...just didn't go all the way. Too bad.

[jay]

Agreed it sounds cheesy, and agreed 100% with JE - if you are going to do that, why not go all out. Why not have one of the main 3 characters killed...or all of them. THAT would have been awesome, just for the reactions on everyone's faces.

So they copped out...just didn't go all the way. Too bad.

Why not have one of the main 3 characters killed? Well, that's easy. Because then the "trick" would have been way too obvious. People would have known something was fishy because there's no way under the sun you'd have that huge of a departure from the book to the movie -- killing off one of the main, main characters.

You're discounting the fact that a majority of people in the audience probably have either read the book or know the ending (SPOILER ALERT) that Bella and Edward live happily ever after along with Jacob and the daughter (Nessie?). Kill one of them off, and the "twist" loses its effect.

It wasn't a cop out. It was a way to introduce some action, some fighting, some ripping off of vampire's heads. Jason's right that the overall plotline of part II isn't really worthy of a movie on its own, so they had to manufacture some extra drama/plot.

Was it cheesy? Sure I guess. Like I said, I kind of liked it. And it had a huge reaction in the theater I was in. But calling it offensive and insulting is rather overdramatic.

[JasonEvans]

I hear ya, Jay, and you are right that it at least introduced something compelling into a film that would otherwise be really, really bland.

The reason I used such strong language was I consider the "it was all a dream/vision" trick to be one of the lamer storytelling techniques out there. It is a cheap way of fooling your audience. Essentially, they did not have a compelling enough story on its merits, so they used a artificial device that allowed them to do something insanely off the wall to shock the audience, and then they said, "naaah, that didn't really happen." Like I said, a cheap trick. I do feel it is insulting to your audience to do something like that.

But, I guess the truth is that my words are too strong. Like I said, without that artificial storytelling technique, the movie really stinks. And, I suppose the grim reality of Alice's vision is something important to show to explain why the Volturi decide not to attack the Cullens.

Darnit... now you succeeded in convincing me the movie might not suck as bad as I first thought! A pox upon you!!

-Jason "$145 million... like any critic review matters! Ha!" Evans