If the schools of the ACC were countries

[jmb]

There's a post spreading around various Big 12 blogs and boards called "If the Big XII teams were countries" (one such iteration: http://www.allbuffs.com/showthread.p...were-Countries).

Inspired by this, a UNC grad in the office and I decided to take a run at classifying the ACC:

UNC: USA - Has been successful and is perhaps the best endowed country of them all, but its inability reign in its ego and its internal blunders have prevented it from being seen as a successful leader by the rest of the world.

Duke: England - Most of the world hates it solely for having been successful. Its wealth and the level of influence it carries far outweigh its size. The only thing no one is jealous of is the female population.

State: India - Overcrowded. Lots of engineers doing low-quality work.

Clemson: Mexico - Pretty big, but not that productive. Would be nothing without its neighbors to the north.

FSU: Russia - One-time superpower will now resort to anything to try to compete.

BC: Canada - Fierce inferiority complex stemming from its inability to compete with its direct neighbors. Good at hockey. Hasn't figured out that no one else cares about hockey.

Miami: Italy - Gorgeous location with better looking women. Accomplishments driven by men of violence. Glory on the field may be behind it, but you should never count it out and you always want to be invited to its party.

Maryland: Argentina - Has the resources to be successful, and has shown flashes of mild success, but because of internal instability will never have a prolonged presence at the top.

Va Tech: Pakistan - Mountainous and in the middle of nowhere. Lots of violence. New to the big leagues and hasn't quite figured out how to handle that.

Virginia: France - Has all the tools to be successful, but has no sense of its place in the world. Sure, it can claim some modest accomplishments, but its consistent failures make everyone else view it as a joke.

Georgia Tech: Japan - Good at engineering and dominated by an all work and no play mentality, but as a result decently productive in the world. Strange fetishes resulting from lack of females.

Wake Forest: Monaco - Small, pretty, rich. Don't worry about them -- they're not going to bother you.

[Orange&BlackSheep]

I think it is pretty good but Duke as the UK does not feel right somehow.

I was toying with UNC as China and Duke as the USA a bit but could not get it to work.

[flyingdutchdevil]

Interesting list, but I don't think Duke is the UK. Today, people don't really hate the Brits. They aren't a country that gets targeted enough. I hate to say it, but I'd say Duke is France - egotistical, successful, a nuclear power, and everyone hates them. Their only supporters are their own countrymen (even their ex-colonies hate them).

[uh_no]

UNC: its internal blunders have prevented it from being seen as a successful leader by the rest of the world.

ummmm did I miss something? because i'm pretty sure most of the time UNC is anointed king of the world....ask most media pundits to name the most successful historical basketball programs...and you get UK, KU, UNC, and UCLA....

[-jk]

I think it is pretty good but Duke as the UK does not feel right somehow.

I was toying with UNC as China and Duke as the USA a bit but could not get it to work.

I have to agree with the OP. Even before I opened the thread, I thought of the UK - England, really. Old school values. Old school money. Old school influence. Old school ego.

It fits.

-jk

[JBDuke]

Interesting list, but I don't think Duke is the UK. Today, people don't really hate the Brits. They aren't a country that gets targeted enough. I hate to say it, but I'd say Duke is France - egotistical, successful, a nuclear power, and everyone hates them. Their only supporters are their own countrymen (even their ex-colonies hate them).

So, this would mean ... WE COME FROM FRANCE!

(Always good to get a Beldar quote in there...)

[roywhite]

Interesting list, but I don't think Duke is the UK. Today, people don't really hate the Brits. They aren't a country that gets targeted enough. I hate to say it, but I'd say Duke is France - egotistical, successful, a nuclear power, and everyone hates them. Their only supporters are their own countrymen (even their ex-colonies hate them).

French President Mike Krzyzewski?

Blue Devils = Cheese eating surrender monkeys?

Naah...

To make this work, Duke is either the USA or China, and UNC is the other.

sorry for the crude insult to France...just don't see Duke in that role.

[CameronBornAndBred]

I'd give Wake a lot more respect than Monaco. Maybe Spain. Not always on the world stage, but large enough to capture your attention and make noise.

[Faustus]

I would suggest replacing Argentina with North Korea for Maryland - off at the edge of everything, absolutely no clue about the rest of the Civilized World, run by a crazy man who every now and then when forgotten by the rest of the Civilized World threatens to start a nuclear conflagration. Good at burning things.

[flyingdutchdevil]

French President Mike Krzyzewski?

Blue Devils = Cheese eating surrender monkeys?

Naah...

To make this work, Duke is either the USA or China, and UNC is the other.

sorry for the crude insult to France...just don't see Duke in that role.

Isn't the Blue Devil a French WWI unit / platoon / something? And what's wrong with eating cheese? Camembert, brie, chevre, compte - delicious!

I stick to Duke being France. Makes the most sense to me. However, no one fears the French, and lots fear Duke. So you may be right. But I can't think of another country...

[roywhite]

Isn't the Blue Devil a French WWI unit / platoon / something? And what's wrong with eating cheese?

Well, you're certainly right about the origin of the Blue Devil mascot name. Here's Why a Blue Devil? from the Duke University Library archives.

Some of the "supporting actors" in this exercise are pretty good in the OP's post. But getting UNC and Duke cast correctly is pretty important.

[CEF1959]

I'm make UNC either England or France. Historically one of the most important and powerful of all, but with an unjustifiably heightened sense of its own current importance. Not irrelevant, but not as dominant as it thinks other people should think it is.

I'd make Duke Germany. Small but not tiny. Enormous history and culture. Some painful years. But don't f$#k with it, or you might get creamed. Ascendent.

No one in the ACC gets to be the US. Sorry. There's just no dominance in the league that even comes close.

The rest of the schools I don't care a rat's patooey about. Are Va Tech and Miami even still in this league?

[Lord Ash]

Hah, Maryland as North Korea made me laugh

[hurleyfor3]

Yeah, we're either Germany or Japan.

[wtm001]

There's a post spreading around various Big 12 blogs and boards called "If the Big XII teams were countries" (one such iteration: http://www.allbuffs.com/showthread.p...were-Countries).

Inspired by this, a UNC grad in the office and I decided to take a run at classifying the ACC:

UNC: USA - Has been successful and is perhaps the best endowed country of them all, but its inability reign in its ego and its internal blunders have prevented it from being seen as a successful leader by the rest of the world.

Duke: England - Most of the world hates it solely for having been successful. Its wealth and the level of influence it carries far outweigh its size. The only thing no one is jealous of is the female population.

State: India - Overcrowded. Lots of engineers doing low-quality work.

Clemson: Mexico - Pretty big, but not that productive. Would be nothing without its neighbors to the north.

FSU: Russia - One-time superpower will now resort to anything to try to compete.

BC: Canada - Fierce inferiority complex stemming from its inability to compete with its direct neighbors. Good at hockey. Hasn't figured out that no one else cares about hockey.

Miami: Italy - Gorgeous location with better looking women. Accomplishments driven by men of violence. Glory on the field may be behind it, but you should never count it out and you always want to be invited to its party.

Maryland: Argentina - Has the resources to be successful, and has shown flashes of mild success, but because of internal instability will never have a prolonged presence at the top.

Va Tech: Pakistan - Mountainous and in the middle of nowhere. Lots of violence. New to the big leagues and hasn't quite figured out how to handle that.

Virginia: France - Has all the tools to be successful, but has no sense of its place in the world. Sure, it can claim some modest accomplishments, but its consistent failures make everyone else view it as a joke.

Georgia Tech: Japan - Good at engineering and dominated by an all work and no play mentality, but as a result decently productive in the world. Strange fetishes resulting from lack of females.

Wake Forest: Monaco - Small, pretty, rich. Don't worry about them -- they're not going to bother you.

Nice list, I thought it was very entertaining.

[kyriecrazy2013]

I'm make UNC either England or France. Historically one of the most important and powerful of all, but with an unjustifiably heightened sense of its own current importance. Not irrelevant, but not as dominant as it thinks other people should think it is.

I'd make Duke Germany. Small but not tiny. Enormous history and culture. Some painful years. But don't f$#k with it, or you might get creamed. Ascendent.

No one in the ACC gets to be the US. Sorry. There's just no dominance in the league that even comes close.

The rest of the schools I don't care a rat's patooey about. Are Va Tech and Miami even still in this league?

I agree completely!!! I was hopin someone would think the same. Duke totally is Germany.

[Dev11]

I agree completely!!! I was hopin someone would think the same. Duke totally is Germany.

No way, dude. Germany is tough and innovative but always gets destroyed when it counts (see: the World Wars). I think I like Duke as England. Christian Laettner sort of had that King Arthur type of deal (pulling the sword out of the stone is The Shot, yeah? That was Arthur, right?).

I also completely agree about Maryland as North Korea. Perfect.

[Dukeface88]

Are we talking historically or modern day? IMO, there's nothing that fits the Duke/UNC rivalry in Europe currently; the EU states are entirely too cooperative for that comparison to work. Ditto for Britain/USA (and as mentioned, none of the ACC schools are dominant enough to be contemporary America). You'd need to look at smaller, less powerful states for that knid of rivalry today, which doesn't really fit ACC basketball as a whole. Also hard to get State/UNC and Maryland/Duke right.

[MisterRoddy]

Since I'm not a history buff, I'll submit that on DBR, Duke should be USA for the simple fact that we love both

[left_hook_lacey]

There's a post spreading around various Big 12 blogs and boards called "If the Big XII teams were countries" (one such iteration: http://www.allbuffs.com/showthread.p...were-Countries).

Inspired by this, a UNC grad in the office and I decided to take a run at classifying the ACC:

UNC: USA - Has been successful and is perhaps the best endowed country of them all, but its inability reign in its ego and its internal blunders have prevented it from being seen as a successful leader by the rest of the world.

Duke: England - Most of the world hates it solely for having been successful. Its wealth and the level of influence it carries far outweigh its size. The only thing no one is jealous of is the female population.

State: India - Overcrowded. Lots of engineers doing low-quality work.

Clemson: Mexico - Pretty big, but not that productive. Would be nothing without its neighbors to the north.

FSU: Russia - One-time superpower will now resort to anything to try to compete.

BC: Canada - Fierce inferiority complex stemming from its inability to compete with its direct neighbors. Good at hockey. Hasn't figured out that no one else cares about hockey.

Miami: Italy - Gorgeous location with better looking women. Accomplishments driven by men of violence. Glory on the field may be behind it, but you should never count it out and you always want to be invited to its party.

Maryland: Argentina - Has the resources to be successful, and has shown flashes of mild success, but because of internal instability will never have a prolonged presence at the top.

Va Tech: Pakistan - Mountainous and in the middle of nowhere. Lots of violence. New to the big leagues and hasn't quite figured out how to handle that.

Virginia: France - Has all the tools to be successful, but has no sense of its place in the world. Sure, it can claim some modest accomplishments, but its consistent failures make everyone else view it as a joke.

Georgia Tech: Japan - Good at engineering and dominated by an all work and no play mentality, but as a result decently productive in the world. Strange fetishes resulting from lack of females.

Wake Forest: Monaco - Small, pretty, rich. Don't worry about them -- they're not going to bother you.

This was a very entertaining and thought-provoking list. Thanks for the post JMB. I have to say I agree with most of your assessments 100%. There's a couple that I too tinkered with in my head, but I really couldn't come up with anything better than your original.

Some of the other suggestions are intriguing, but I would have to totally disagree with saying Duke=France. Even thought that's where our nickname comes from, to me, France is associated with being a quitter or soft, and Duke is neither.