This is the right answer. Would have also accepted fried chicken!
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There is a triathlon in my neighborhood this morning. This seems like the kind of group I could convince to put out de-motivational posters next year. We could put out signs that read "This course is tough...but you're not". "We know you're tired, just start walking". "Why are you trying so hard when you're not getting paid for this?"
"Better luck next year"
"Sometimes it's not your day"
"If you were that good you would be on a bigger stage"
"Honestly we thought you'd fail"
"This is just a sprint, real life is a marathon."
“Tri-something else. This isn’t for you”.
I was right about us.
“The other woman runs decathlons”.
“Don’t pretend this will fill the emptiness you feel inside”.
"You chose an individual sport because no one wants a loser like you on their team".
“You can’t run from your personal failings, Ted”.
“You look awful in Lycra”.
So next year I will buy a ton of barbecue and we can drink beer and smoke cigars in my driveway and heckle the triathletes. Book it now.
Geez! I thought I was mean.
So what do you folks do in the 60 second mandatory waiting period between posts?
"The faster swimmers peed in the pool."