The longest thread ever

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Originally Posted by Mtn.Devil.91.92.01.10.15

I mean, it would be a different story if it were ONLY male friends or ONLY female friends.

NTTAWWT.

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Inside bunda's brain: "Why does Mtn feel compelled to tell CD that he's not a twat?"

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Originally Posted by bundabergdevil

Inside bunda's brain: "Why does Mtn feel compelled to tell CD that he's not a twat?"

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Exactly. Why lie to me? Because I am.

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Originally Posted by bundabergdevil

This is a question for the ages. I think most worst offenders are just wired a certain way and, no, they probably don't have much of a sense of how they might be perceived by other people; they're just worried about their own wants and needs.

I suspect there's a lot of room in between that extreme and not a creeper bone in his/her body.

I can think of a few things I've said or done over the years that might have been interpreted as creepy but, when I hear my female friends' stories about all the crap they've had to deal w/ from men over the years, I think I'm generally in non-creeper territory.

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I don’t know if my criminal law professor was an actual creep or just mean and thought he was being funny. I was a 22-yr-old 1L and he apparently thought it was quite entertaining to have me present the facts in detail of any case involving a sexual offense. It became obvious that it wasn’t coincidental and others in the class would joke and ask me if I was ready to be called on whenever there was a sex crime in the reading. He once asked me to define “buggery” for the class and explain the elements as they applied to the facts of the case. It was pretty humiliating.

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Originally Posted by missfinch

I don’t know if my criminal law professor was an actual creep or just mean and thought he was being funny. I was a 22-yr-old 1L and he apparently thought it was quite entertaining to have me present the facts in detail of any case involving a sexual offense. It became obvious that it wasn’t coincidental and others in the class would joke and ask me if I was ready to be called on whenever there was a sex crime in the reading. He once asked me to define “buggery” for the class and explain the elements as they applied to the facts of the case. It was pretty humiliating.

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Yikes. That seems tone deaf regardless of the era.

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Originally Posted by missfinch

I don’t know if my criminal law professor was an actual creep or just mean and thought he was being funny. I was a 22-yr-old 1L and he apparently thought it was quite entertaining to have me present the facts in detail of any case involving a sexual offense. It became obvious that it wasn’t coincidental and others in the class would joke and ask me if I was ready to be called on whenever there was a sex crime in the reading. He once asked me to define “buggery” for the class and explain the elements as they applied to the facts of the case. It was pretty humiliating.

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Wow, horrid.

And here I felt bad for getting called to discuss Pennoyer v. Neff my first day of law school. (Truth)

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Originally Posted by missfinch

I don’t know if my criminal law professor was an actual creep or just mean and thought he was being funny. I was a 22-yr-old 1L and he apparently thought it was quite entertaining to have me present the facts in detail of any case involving a sexual offense. It became obvious that it wasn’t coincidental and others in the class would joke and ask me if I was ready to be called on whenever there was a sex crime in the reading. He once asked me to define “buggery” for the class and explain the elements as they applied to the facts of the case. It was pretty humiliating.

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Ugh, yikes.

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Originally Posted by Mtn.Devil.91.92.01.10.15

Yikes. That seems tone deaf regardless of the era.

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Yes, but with the power differential no one was going to say anything. Certainly not me. That’s the biggest problem for most of the workplace situations too I think.

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Originally Posted by missfinch

Yes, but with the power differential no one was going to say anything. Certainly not me. That’s the biggest problem for most of the workplace situations too I think.

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Yes. It's much easier to report a coworker or contemporary than a superior.

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Originally Posted by OldPhiKap

Wow, horrid.

And here I felt bad for getting called to discuss Pennoyer v. Neff my first day of law school. (Truth)

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Haha I believe you! Does your last name start with “A”? The guy in my class who was first alphabetically got called on in multiple classes the first day.

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Originally Posted by missfinch

I don’t know if my criminal law professor was an actual creep or just mean and thought he was being funny. I was a 22-yr-old 1L and he apparently thought it was quite entertaining to have me present the facts in detail of any case involving a sexual offense. It became obvious that it wasn’t coincidental and others in the class would joke and ask me if I was ready to be called on whenever there was a sex crime in the reading. He once asked me to define “buggery” for the class and explain the elements as they applied to the facts of the case. It was pretty humiliating.

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Hearing this makes me about 99% sure it was intentional. And that means he either hated you, which is problematic. Or had a crush on you and, men in power being what they are, thought that this was somehow going to be perceived by you as a come on. Which is obviously troubling.

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Originally Posted by missfinch

Yes, but with the power differential no one was going to say anything. Certainly not me. That’s the biggest problem for most of the workplace situations too I think.

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Exactly. I do think one of the best things that has come out of the me too movement is an understanding that an unequal power dynamic is going to yield an unequal response to flirtation. It doesn't matter how the parties feel about each other, what matters is the power imbalance.

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Originally Posted by missfinch

Haha I believe you! Does your last name start with “A”? The guy in my class who was first alphabetically got called on in multiple classes the first day.

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His last name is Hole. Guess his first name. Kidding OPK!

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Originally Posted by missfinch

Haha I believe you! Does your last name start with “A”?

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No, but I was known as “A” in Pretty Little Liars.

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Originally Posted by ClemmonsDevil

His last name is Hole. Guess his first name. Kidding OPK!

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Originally Posted by OldPhiKap

No, but I was known as “A” in Pretty Little Liars.

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Y’all are funny.

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Originally Posted by missfinch

Y’all are funny.

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That's what we tell everyone.

See, now I’m second guessing myself.


Like, I’m really tall so I get asked by little old ladies all the time to help them get their oats and prunes from the top shelf at the grocery store. I tell them I’ll help them but it’ll cost them a roll in the hay with the big dog.

I feel like this thread is telling me that’s inappropriate.

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Originally Posted by bundabergdevil

See, now I’m second guessing myself.


Like, I’m really tall so I get asked by little old ladies all the time to help them get their oats and prunes from the top shelf at the grocery store. I tell them I’ll help them but it’ll cost them a roll in the hay with the big dog.

I feel like this thread is telling me that’s inappropriate.

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It depends. Are you grocery shopping with a St. Bernard?

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Originally Posted by bundabergdevil

See, now I’m second guessing myself.


Like, I’m really tall so I get asked by little old ladies all the time to help them get their oats and prunes from the top shelf at the grocery store. I tell them I’ll help them but it’ll cost them a roll in the hay with the big dog.

I feel like this thread is telling me that’s inappropriate.

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Killing me :)

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Originally Posted by Rich

I have to take 3-4 hours of sexual harassment training every year and, if nothing else, that's basically the one thing they literally say you have to take away - "Don't Be Creepy" - in the office, at holiday parties, after work at the bar - just "don't be creepy." And if you think you might be acting creepy, then you are.

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Originally Posted by missfinch

But do most creeps recognize they’re being creepy?

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This is why the training is 3-4 hours and not 5 minutes of "don't be creepy." They have to go over situation upon situation for the creeps who don't get it.

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Originally Posted by Rich

This is why the training is 3-4 hours and not 5 minutes of "don't be creepy." They have to go over situation upon situation for the creeps who don't get it.

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Yeah, fair point.