That's the spirit! He will always live in your heart!
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Well I got a bad liver and a broken heart
yea I drunk me a river since you tore me apart
and I don't have a drinking problem
cept when I can't get a drink
#OutOfContextTomWaits
Sing me a rainbow. Steal me a dream.
#OutOfContextTomWaits
I did my time in the jail of your arms.
#OutOfContextTomWaits
Hang on St. Christopher through the smoke and the oil
Buckle down the rumble seat, let the radiator boil
Got an overhead downshift and a two-dollar grill
Got an '85 cabin on an '85 hill
Hang on St. Christopher on the passenger side
Open it up, tonight the devil can ride
#OutOfContextTomWaits
Does anyone else call the numbers on missing dog posters and just bark into the phone?
Got no time for the corner boys,
Down in the street makin' all that noise,
Don't want no whores on eighth avenue,
Cause tonight I'm gonna be with you.
'Cause tonight I'm gonna take that ride,
Across the river to the Jersey side,
Take my baby to the carnival,
And I'll take you on all the rides….
#OutOfContextTomWaits
Outside another yellow moon
Punched a hole in the nighttime, yes
I climb through the window and down to the street
I'm shining like a new dime
The downtown trains are full
With all those Brooklyn girls
They try so hard to break out of their little worlds
#OutOfContextTomWaits
In a land there's a town, and in that town there's a house
And in that house there's a woman
And in that woman there's a heart I love
I'm gonna take it with me when I go
#OutOfContextTomWaits
I did leave one at a funeral parlor once. Yeah, it was terrible too. I was all distraught and everything. The wife and I, we left the little tyke there in the funeral parlor all day. All day. You know, we went back at night, when we came to our senses, there he was. Apparently he was there all day with a corpse. Now, he was okay. You know, after six, seven weeks, he came around and started talking again. But he's okay. They get over it. Kids are resilient like that.
What are everyone’s thoughts on job loyalty? I’m 18 months into a new job. It’s going well. They like me, I like them generally. My boss is great. I hadn’t been looking but got recruited pretty aggressively. I always listen. They made an offer and it was a good one that my current employer wouldn’t be able to match even if I asked them to.
I do feel bad but how bad should I reassslllyyy. Feel?
I took a job with a company in Cary. Had been in academia for my first few years of adulthood. This was corporate in every sense of the word. When I started, everyone was hyped about the company's rising success (I actually posted about this way back in the Elizabeth Holmes thread b/c the CEO was very similar to her). I loved my co-workers, but I never really got a sense of what I was supposed to be doing. A couple of months in, it seemed like things were going in the other direction. A lot of people were starting to leave. I was offered a job at the hospital where I still work 23+ years later. I weighed my options and took it. After only 5 months on this job. A month after I left, they were bought out by a huge company and a few months later, almost everyone who had not already left were laid off.
I did not feel bad leaving. You gotta do what you gotta do. If you feel really good about this new job, go for it!
Pfft. My opinion on that is the companies almost never have actual loyalty to their employees. They like to pretend they do, but when it comes to making the hard business decisions, most employers think of owners/shareholders first and employees close to last.
Having said that, if you like your boss and you like your current situation overall, I would personally put a lot of value on the bird in the hand. There's a limited amount of information you can gather in an interview, so how sure can you be that your personal happiness will improve if you make a change? Assuming you already make a pretty good living (which I think is a safe assumption, based on the fact that you are a regular poster on a Duke message board), money would be one of the last reasons I'd make a switch. This is coming from painful experience, wherein I took a job with a substantial increase in salary that sure looked good at the time, and ended up in one of the most toxic work environments I've ever worked in.
My advice is take the job, not the money, and don't worry for one second about loyalty.
This advice is worth every penny you paid to get it.
I work for big pharma and agree 100% with this message. I couldn't have said it better myself. I've been at my company for 22 years and have seen a lot of people come and go, some voluntarily, some not. My company would not hesitate to early retire me if it's in their interest.
There are studies that show whe #1 factor in employee retention is a person's direct manager. There are A LOT of bad managers our there that no amount of money can make better.
When I was a youngster, under 40, I generally went with the money.
From about 45 onward I went with job satisfaction over money. I was generally happier when explicitly choosing happiness.
One question to ask is who will be the person you report directly to in each situation and will that important relationship be good. It matters a lot.
Thanks for all the feedback!
Yeah, the biggest consideration is the “bird in hand”. My position is fully remote and I’ve established a nice working relationship with my manager. Things are good. I have 0 loyalty to the corporate entity for reasons everyone has described but situationally things are good.
New gig is fully remote. Boss seems nice but you never know. Different industry, 30+% bump in guaranteed comp.
The money matters but not as much as it used to. We’re doing fine and I get lots of QT with my kiddos, which I want to preserve. Everyone at new company has assured me this won’t be a problem but you obviously never know.
Can you imagine being Dennis Quaid's Doc Holliday when Val Kilmer's version is out there?
Best use of the word "huckleberry" in a movie.
I remember The Huckleberry Hound show.
Roger Federer is 50% ‘er’.
Lordy it's hot.
If Buc-ees ain’t got it, ain’t nobody got it.
I believe this is known as an existential crisis…
Attachment 14820
Anyone heard from Wilson?
We need him. Hell, I need him. I'm a mess without Wilson. I miss him so damn much. I miss being with him, I miss being near him. I miss his laugh. I miss his scent; I miss his musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think Wilson and me should get an apartment together.
Apparently, I had a power outage from 7:51 PM to 10:34 PM last night. My appliances and electrical fixtures did not get the message.
There's a law for everything, so I assumed somebody would have come up with a law saying that if an HVAC unit breaks down, it will happen on a Sunday during a heat advisory. But I can't find it anywhere online.
Anyone here have first hand information about living in Beaufort, NC?
I don't negotiate with dentists.
-Leslie Knope
Think the needle moved over the weekend. A decision is emerging.
Ugh. I hate you.
Had a dentist for a while who was fond of announcing “Cavity Search!! okay Spread ‘Em” as he walked into the room and scooted over in his roller chair thingie.
Dr. Warren Butt, specializing in IBS and colonoscopies.
http://www.delawarecenterfordigestiv...rren-g-butt-md
My favorite dentist was Capt. Walter “Painless Pole” Waldowski.
Somehow, I always ended up with the fifth out of five dentists who recommended sugar-laden gum though.
So, I'm gathering that no on here lives in the immediate are of Beaufort?
I’m trying to stay awake with 3 hours to go in an all-day Zoom meeting.
Attachment 14822
Mostly a 3, take from the ends to keep the weight in the middle. Sucks if they are all in one end. And they fall out when you lift by the empty end.
One. What can I say? A fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda gal!
When someone asks me how I gender-identify, I say that I usually just ask them to take off their clothes.
Ymo and I won the summer movie contest. So, yeah, feeling preeetttttttyyyyy froggy right about now.
Kermit?
There was this guy in a department where I used to work. Supervisory-type admin position. He was a boob-talker. Noticed it my very first day. I had heard that his wife was battling breast cancer, so I just took it as a situational obsession. But, he was known among all the women as the "Um, eyes up here!" guy. Plus he was just creepy.
One day, a co-worker hung a Marc Chagall abstract nude in a common-ish area. A VERY abstract nude. You really had to look for it. Boob-talker saw it and told her she had to take it down b/c it might offend someone. We all got a good laugh about that, but she took it down. That was probably 20 years ago. The atmosphere today would have him reported ASAP. Good thing for him he retired years ago.
The atmosphere has changed so dramatically in the last 20 years. Mostly for the better, I would argue.
It's funny, you watch TV from the 90s and most things wouldn't even begin to fly today. I honestly don't think I would even feel comfortable asking a coworker on a date in today's world - which is fine, I don't necessarily see that as a negative.
The most embarrassing things that have ever happened to me after a lecture is as follows. After my first big lecture at a major academic Medical Center I go up to thank the person who invited me to do Grand rounds. She had her back turned to me and I was going to touch her on the shoulder but she turned at the last second and my hand did not land on her shoulder. And we both stood there for about 2 seconds while she stared down at my hand on her breast. I took that hand away and thanked her for inviting me. I immediately called my boss on the way out the door and told him I was either getting invited back every year or never again. And there was no in between. I'm invited back every year and she and I have never discussed this.
My worst faux pas was sending an incredibly flirty email to a prospective client I had met not 30 minutes ago inviting him to get margaritas after work. His last name was Roger and the lady I was inviting had the last name Rogers. I'd been so used to her email auto-populating in Outlook that I just went about my business as usual forgetting that his name was now in my email.
He politely declined. I lay awake at night twenty years later still thinking about it. It is still mortifying/anxiety-inducing to think about...
I have to take 3-4 hours of sexual harassment training every year and, if nothing else, that's basically the one thing they literally say you have to take away - "Don't Be Creepy" - in the office, at holiday parties, after work at the bar - just "don't be creepy." And if you think you might be acting creepy, then you are.
Oh, if we are moving to embarrassing email stories...
About ten years ago my business partner and I were considering a second location. We had seen a few locations with a commercial real estate agent and he had been emailing us quotes and listings.
One of the places was attractive but required a ton of renovation to get to what we needed. The quote came in very high on the lease, and I was quite frank in my reply to my business partner, calling it something along the lines of "a completely BS bluff thinking we would agree to a lease like this."
Unfortunately, it was a "reply all" sort of situation and the agent was on the thread.
Probably not. I work in a field which is at least 80-90% female. I have seen a lot of creepy guys and for the most part they get away with the creepiness. I have been in medicine for over 20 years. It is better now. But there are still some boob talkers and guys who speak in sexual innuendos. Most of them are bad at recognizing how they are perceived. But there is a subset who are just toxically masculine and think people like that.
But it sort of makes you wonder, what is "getting away with it."
To me, there's "well, I didn't get fired or sued, so I got away with it!" But then there's that second level of "well, everyone totes knew I was creepy AF, but either no one had enough evidence to bring an issue or they didn't want to deal with the paperwork!"
I try to stay out of both categories, but I have met people who are gleefully in the "can't prove anything, so I'm not creepy!" group. I minimize my interactions with such folks.
But seriously, do people still date coworkers?
This is a question for the ages. I think most worst offenders are just wired a certain way and, no, they probably don't have much of a sense of how they might be perceived by other people; they're just worried about their own wants and needs.
I suspect there's a lot of room in between that extreme and not a creeper bone in his/her body.
I can think of a few things I've said or done over the years that might have been interpreted as creepy but, when I hear my female friends' stories about all the crap they've had to deal w/ from men over the years, I think I'm generally in non-creeper territory.
Yes. Both of those industries kinda "make sense" for dating. Medical work is high stress and has weird hours, pairing folks together is likely to have more understanding and empathy.
Teachers have a very different sort of stressful job, and if you can find someone else in education, you can plan baller vacations in the summer and Christmas breaks.
Please tell me you washed yours hands after going back to work.
Most of my medical friends have stories about hooking up with co-workers. Unfortunately, it also involves actual hooking up IN the hospital, which has really changed my perception of nurses and doctors walking into my patient room. Like, where exactly are you coming from...
I don’t know if my criminal law professor was an actual creep or just mean and thought he was being funny. I was a 22-yr-old 1L and he apparently thought it was quite entertaining to have me present the facts in detail of any case involving a sexual offense. It became obvious that it wasn’t coincidental and others in the class would joke and ask me if I was ready to be called on whenever there was a sex crime in the reading. He once asked me to define “buggery” for the class and explain the elements as they applied to the facts of the case. It was pretty humiliating.
Hearing this makes me about 99% sure it was intentional. And that means he either hated you, which is problematic. Or had a crush on you and, men in power being what they are, thought that this was somehow going to be perceived by you as a come on. Which is obviously troubling.
Exactly. I do think one of the best things that has come out of the me too movement is an understanding that an unequal power dynamic is going to yield an unequal response to flirtation. It doesn't matter how the parties feel about each other, what matters is the power imbalance.
See, now I’m second guessing myself.
Like, I’m really tall so I get asked by little old ladies all the time to help them get their oats and prunes from the top shelf at the grocery store. I tell them I’ll help them but it’ll cost them a roll in the hay with the big dog.
I feel like this thread is telling me that’s inappropriate.
Don't be bad looking?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxuUkYiaUc8
I have the world's worst Leave it to Beaver joke. Seems like a bad time to share that in the RIP Tony Dow thread. But I giggled when I saw that pop up. Which is awful.
Who owned more sweaters, Fred MacMurray or Andy Williams?
Facebook. Along with fire, my favorite thing to not be on. I was in Saskatoon last Saturday and it was 47 overnight. I wore a sweatshirt to workout in the morning and a sweater to dinner. Flying home Sunday and I had to re-route to Orlando for a baby emergency. I haven't worn sweaters while I'm here.
all boys school. very limited prom opportunities, like exactly zero.
I recently had to do online anti sexual harassment and anti racism training for my work. There were 7 or 8 scenarios that we had to watch. In all but one of the scenarios, the harassers were white women. I'm sorry, but eff that. If representation matters, then it matters in stuff like this too. To be perfectly honest, I felt harassed by the training.
My 9th junior High prom, also asked to go to the junior high prom at our rival Junior High. (They were not yet middle schools.) In high school, it was called the Junior/Senior prom and sophomores could only go if asked by a junior or senior. I got asked as a sophomore. Then I went as a junior and a senior.
As to the "Don't be creepy" stuff - I've been struggling with that lately. The son of a dear friend is "on the spectrum" as the lingo puts it these days. He truly does not realize when he's being creepy. He tries hard not to but often does come off as creepy. It will never be possible for him to never be creepy. What should be done in such a situation?
I've been thinking about it because a few years ago I was adjacent to an issue with a couple of actors. Bottom line, they didn't get along. It was a male/female pair in a Shakespeare play. The characters wind up together at the end of the show but they are secondary characters and only have 2 scenes together. The female actor was creeped out by the male actor, but even from her report, what he actually said to her did not cross any lines. That's not even fair, what he actually said to her, as reported to me, was completely fine, it's the way actors discuss scenes together all the time. When she expressed discomfort, the production dealt with the issue immediately. Alas, there were multiple complaints. Each one was addressed and each time the male actor changed his behavior. By the time of the last request - to restage the show so that the actors would not be standing on the same side of the stage - the male actor was no longer speaking to the female actor at all except on stage. The show had already been restaged so that the two actors did not touch each other - original staging included a handshake and a hug. The male actor is someone I had worked with before, although I had never played a character romantically paired with him, I had acted in scenes with him multiple times so I was called to give an opinion on the situation. My report was that the actor was perhaps irresponsibly klutzy - I had to remind him many times that he needed to put his arm over my shoulder in such a way that he would not get fake blood on my costume - and that he was often seemingly out of step with those around him, and perhaps, IMHO, neuro atypical, but I'd never gotten a harassing or creepy vibe from him. Still, I should not have had to tell him more than once not to bleed on me, so I am not completely championing him. Respect for your fellow actors is job one and allowing yourself to be klutzy with a fellow actor onstage is showing a lack of respect. Unfortunately, the relationship between these two actors was broken beyond repair and the show was suffering. Ultimately, the female actor was replaced. She was still paid the full amount of her contract but another actor was brought in, on book, for the last 4 performances. I wonder about that decision a lot though. How creepy is too creepy? When does behavior that on paper does not cross a line actually cross a line, and who gets to decide when it does? What about actors that are neuro atypical - should they be prevented from acting because of their inability to interact the same way neuro typical people do? I do not know what the right answer is in this situation. I have learned to try to weed such stuff out in auditions when casting actors who will be romantically paired. You've got to have them touch each other at auditions. Give them time and space to rehearse a scene for a few minutes before you watch them read together, but if two actors cannot get comfortable enough to have some minor physical contact (a hug, handshake, hand on shoulder) in 10 minutes, do not cast them together in a romantic pairing.
I have another actor friend that I have cast multiple times because he is not creepy, at all. He is an extremely nice guy. He just looks creepy. He gets cast as serial killer types fairly often because he completely looks the part. I cast him in short play festivals whenever possible because he is, truly, discriminated against because of how he looks. Several directors see him only as creepy. I feel for him.
Bursitis anyone?
I don't pun. I don't think my brain works that way.
https://www.dailydot.com/irl/8-hours...rk-30-minutes/
Interesting question for the group: is your company paying you to work for 8 hours, or is your company paying you to do your job/complete tasks? If the former then this is an easy discussion. If the latter then they are imposing an artificial time constraint on "work" that probably doesn't work well for either the business or employees. My job is definitely the latter. I am 100% remote and when I am home I probably do about 6-8 hours of work a week. When I travel I do between 50-70 hours of work. I complete tasks on weekends, vacations and holidays. But I can also go on a family trip and not take time off. I have literally taken calls about sick babies in the Smithsonian and Disney World. But I could take those trips without taking vacation days because of the flexible work schedule.
BiL Wayne will be coming home from the hospital under Hospice care today. Yes, he did this once before this year but we don't anticipate another amazing recovery like he had before. We were lucky to have some really good months. We will enjoy what time we have left.
His comment in the ER on Friday was "the ER, another step on the stairway to heaven".
Let's see, subtract time wasted posting on DBR . . . two hours! NO, just kidding! I probably put in at least 6.5 solid work hours on an average day. More in recent weeks with a big deadline (met early last week, thank you very much!). I have too much to do to screw around too much.
I earn my tax-funded salary!
Highly dependent on the boss, IMO. I’m salaried, private company. Past employers were F100 and a Federal government contractor.
I have never had a corporate manager question hours worked so long as results have been there —- and they always have been. Had occasional 50+ hour work week but usually comfortably between 20 and 30 hours of actual work a week.
Got dinged at contractor job for not being visible during the hours client was there even though the actual work was highly boom bust with at times NOTHING happening.