Well. Let's call it a day...Ymo wins. Let's reconvene tomorrow.
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Too cold in the mornings...
I had an apartment and I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall I knew he wanted me to turn my music down and that made me angry 'cause I like loud music... so when he knocked on the wall, I'd mess with his head. I'd say, "Go around! I cannot open the wall! I don't know if you have a doorknob on your side but over here there's nothin'. It's just flat." --Mitch Hedberg
It's the first joke in this video (<1 minute), but beware; you might get dragged into the entire 43 minutes, which may (or may not) be safe for work.
https://youtu.be/Qqaq7MIcN0A?t=13
I have a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
"Oh, you're a king you say. Well, you won't believe what I have in store for you. It's to your exact specifications." --Mitch Hedberg
"As a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was." --Mitch Hedberg
It's impossible to articulate exactly why, but he's by far the funniest stand up comic I am familiar with.
Out of curiosity, what other comedians do you Mitch fans like? I love Demitri Martin.
He was on the late night talk show circuit, had the comedy central special, and had small roles on a sitcom or two.
I stumbled on his Comedy Central special while visiting an excommunicated Amish friend in Ohio. Man..there's a story there somewhere. Anyway, we just kept looking at each other as his act went on thinking "Who IS this guy". Of course, it was late and we were exhausted; practically anything was hilarious.
I just bought an entire pizza and just ate the toppings. There is something wrong with me.
butter and eggs warming up in the kitchen bullpen for anniversary yellow cake cupcakes with chocolate icing, prime filet mignons, special Greek lemon potatoes..