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Bluedawg
06-16-2008, 01:03 PM
Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.




Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.




Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.




Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.




Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.




Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.




Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.




EVER WONDER ....




Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?




Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?




Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?




Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?




Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?




Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?




Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?




Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?




Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?




Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?




Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?




You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!




Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?



Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?




If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?




If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?




I hope that you've smiled at least once!

snowdenscold
06-16-2008, 01:06 PM
I'd heard several of those before, but many were new and pretty good.

Channing
06-16-2008, 01:15 PM
why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why do we send cargo by ship and shipment by car?

if corn oil is made of corn, and olive oil is made of olives, what is baby oil made of?

CathyCA
06-16-2008, 01:30 PM
Another one:

Feet smell but noses run.

bdh21
06-16-2008, 01:44 PM
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

I have wondered about that... is there a term for words that are not self-referential?

e.g.,
'monosyllabic' is not monosyllabic,
'onomatopoeia' is not an onomatopoeia,
'acronym' is not an acronym,
'abbreviation' is not an abbreviation.

What do you call words like that, can anyone help?

Bluedawg
06-16-2008, 02:34 PM
I'd heard several of those before, but many were new and pretty good.

I had as well. A friend e-mailed these to me.

EarlJam
06-16-2008, 02:48 PM
The pharmacy is in the back of the store because if someone comes in to hold the place up for narcotics, for example, they'd have to go all the way through the store just to get through the front door.

They'll tackle you - HARD - if you try this and even rough you up a little. Using a plastic gun instead of a real one though will significantly reduce the jail time and bail costs.

-EarlJam

2535Miles
06-16-2008, 03:13 PM
Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Are serious? Do you know how hard it is to come by a good pen? :D Apparently, it's very difficult because my desk is raided on a consistent basis.

hurleyfor3
06-16-2008, 03:31 PM
Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


A blind person might like to use the ATM from the back seat.

There are a few more of these here (http://www.straightdope.com/faq/lamequestions.html).

2535Miles
06-16-2008, 04:36 PM
A blind person might like to use the ATM from the back seat.
I always thought this was a cost-savings/manufacturing.logistics decision. Why spend the money and make to two molds, one with buttons and one without? Then you'd have to figure out a way to route the braille buttons to walk-up ATMs and not drive-ups.

hurleyfor3
06-16-2008, 06:20 PM
I have wondered about that... is there a term for words that are not self-referential?

e.g.,
'monosyllabic' is not monosyllabic,
'onomatopoeia' is not an onomatopoeia,
'acronym' is not an acronym,
'abbreviation' is not an abbreviation.

What do you call words like that, can anyone help?

Heterological

Ben63
06-16-2008, 06:30 PM
I have wondered about that... is there a term for words that are not self-referential?

e.g.,
'monosyllabic' is not monosyllabic,
'onomatopoeia' is not an onomatopoeia,
'acronym' is not an acronym,
'abbreviation' is not an abbreviation.

What do you call words like that, can anyone help?

Why is "palendrome" not a palendrome?

Lavabe
06-16-2008, 10:38 PM
why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why do we send cargo by ship and shipment by car?

if corn oil is made of corn, and olive oil is made of olives, what is baby oil made of?

Have you been hanging out with George Carlin?;)

That driveway/parkway one looks vaguely familiar.

YmoBeThere
06-17-2008, 05:54 AM
Have you been hanging out with George Carlin?;)

That driveway/parkway one looks vaguely familiar.


Maybe he should now go hang out with Arsenio "Carsenio" Hall and talk about "Things that make you go hmmm."