Favorite Baseball Quotes (non-Yogi Berra Division)

[Turk]

As I was thinking about my favorite baseball players in the other thread, I realized that for a few of them it was because of the things they said, or the things they refused to say...

What are your favorite baseball quotes (excluding Yogi Berra-isms)?

Here are the ones that I liked (IIRC):

"I hate playing centerfield against Lenny Dykstra. One of these years, he's gonna give me foot cancer out there." - Andy Van Slyke, on Dykstra's excessive use of chewing tobacco...

"All I owe anyone is a hard game of ball" - Richie Allen (I'll defer to any Philly guys - or girls - to say whether or not he delivered on that, as well as whether he is properly referred to as Richie or Dick Allen)

"How do you catch a knuckleball? That's easy - wait until it stops rolling and then go back and pick it up." - Bob Uecker (uh-oh - he might get as many quotes as Yogi...)

[TillyGalore]

"Joseph's a lovely guy -- he really is a sweet guy."

- Alex Rodriquez talking about Joseph Dion, alleged steroid dealer. http://newyork.yankees.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080418&content_id=2547645&vkey=news_nyy&fext=.jsp&c_id=nyy

I can still hear Greenie from Mike and Mike in the morning saying it and I have to stifle a giggle.

[EarlJam]

When Lowenstein and Mel Proctor used to call games for the O's on Home Team Sports:

First of all, as most of you know, baseball bats are made from Ash trees (or at least that used to be the case).

A player came up to bat against the O's, swung, and busted his bat. Foul ball. As the batter was going to get another bat, Mel was making some commentary on the busted bat.

Lowenstein's response:

"Well you know Mel, it's hard to find a good piece of ash every night."

Snickering ensued for the next minute or so. That team was hilarious (both teams - the one in the booth and the one on the field (late 80s)).

-EarlJam

[captmojo]

"Baseyball been veddy veddy guud to me!"

[DevilAlumna]

"A good friend of mine used to say, 'This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.' Think about that for a while."
--Ebby Calvin LaLoosh

"Rose goes in front, big guy."
-- Crash Davis

[Devil in the Blue Dress]

We can't leave out Dizzy Dean of this thread on baseball quotations. His most memorable would be along the lines of announcing play by play and telling us viewers that "He slud into third."

[Jarhead]

We can't leave out Dizzy Dean of this thread on baseball quotations. His most memorable would be along the lines of announcing play by play and telling us viewers that "He slud into third."
Since you mentioned Dizzy Dean, the one I remember from him came after a double header in which he won the first game with a one hitter, and his brother, Paul, won the second game in a no hitter. When asked about Paul's no hitter, he reportedly replied, "If I hadda knowed Paul was gonna do that I woulda done it, too."

[dkbaseball]

A couple more Dizisms, at the risk of incurring the wrath of the censors:

After Diz had been hit in the head by the ball while trying to break up a double play, the paper's headline the next day reported on the x-rays -- "Dizzy Dean's head shows nothing.

And the one that cost him his job announcing the game of the week (work with me here, mods). The camera kept panning on a couple making out in the bleachers inning after inning. Towards the end of the game Diz says to Pee Wee Reese: "Pee Wee, I've finally figured out what's going on out there. He's kissing her on the strikes and she's kissing him on the balls."

[devildeac]

Old lady (?) to John Kruk after catching him smoking a cigarette after a game: "That's horrible to see an athlete smoking." (or something like that)

Kruk: "I'm not an athlete, lady, I'm a baseball player."

[tommy]

Since you mentioned Dizzy Dean, the one I remember from him came after a double header in which he won the first game with a one hitter, and his brother, Paul, won the second game in a no hitter. When asked about Paul's no hitter, he reportedly replied, "If I hadda knowed Paul was gonna do that I woulda done it, too."

I know it's hoops instead of baseball, but I think Ron Artest must've been channeling Dizzy when he said, in response to a question about what he thought about then-teammate Stephen Jackson's nightclub gun altercation:

"If I was there with Steve, anything he woulda did, I woulda did."

[dukemomLA]

"Veddy, veddy good" etc.

And I add, "Ya gotta believe." - Tug McGraw, 1969 Mets

[knights68]

Nolan Ryan is pitching much better now that he has his curve ball straightened out. ~Joe Garagiola :D

[pamtar]

Bob Uekcer:

"That's all we got, one &*%damn hit?"

"You cant say &^(damn on the air."

"Dont worry, nobody is listening anyway."

[pamtar]

I just noticed you avatar turk. Thats the best avatar in the history of the internets!!!!!

[cspan37421]

"Give me 25 guys in the last year of their contract; I'll win a pennant every year."

"If God helped you hit that home run that last time up, who struck you out the time before that?"

"Most of us have such bad voices, we respect the National Anthem by not singing it."

[Indoor66]

"A good friend of mine used to say, 'This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.' Think about that for a while."
--Ebby Calvin LaLoosh

"Rose goes in front, big guy."
-- Crash Davis

I believe both quotes are Crash Davis lines....:)

[DukeDude]

"Philadelphia is the only city, where you can experience the thrill of victory and the agony of reading about it the next day." -- Mike Schmidt

[cspan37421]

"You know what they do when the game's rained out? They go to the airport and boo landings." - Bob Uecker, on Phillies fans

[bjornolf]

I believe both quotes are Crash Davis lines....:)

actually, that's Nuke/Meat. Notice it starts "A good friend of mine used to say"? This is at the end of the movie when he's in the bigs giving an interview, I believe. ;)

[camion]

I've seen various forms of the item below attributed to Dizzy, Harry Caray and Mel Allen.

"In the stands here I see a young couple who must be in love -- they're kissing on every pitch. He's kissing her on the strikes, and she's kissing him on the balls."

[bjornolf]

I have to admit that I don't know many, but my favorites were said by my uncle, Rod Dedeaux. There are too many for me to remember, but here are a couple I liked:

"We never lost a game, sometimes we just came up an inning short." There were several variations of this one over the years, like "the rally came up two outs short" or "we didn't lose, we just ran out of innings."

After winning a bet that he knew the name of everybody on his special train to Omaha for the college world series, he said "Too bad he didn't know that everybody on the train is Tiger." (He called everybody Tiger, even his grandkids. It was kind of his thing.)

"I'm not going to discuss the terms of my contract. Let's just say I could cash my paycheck on the team bus after the game."
Commenting on his salary as USC coach, after he allegedly took a $1 paycheck so that his assistants could make enough to live on comfortably (this was after his trucking business took off).

"Casey's up there tappin' his watch gripin 'what took you so long?'" -Edna Stengel's eulogy. He did Casey's too. Apparently, Edna was notorious for holding him up and making them late.

"I had a cup of coffee, no cream or sugar" On his short time in the majors for the Brooklyn Dodgers, where early in his rookie season, he broke his back in three places on the dugout overhang going for a foul ball.

Anyway, I'm sure I'm biased, but I always loved those. On a non-baseball quote, Lee Trevino, who's been struck by lightning a few times, once said, "In a lightning storm, I always hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit one of those!" :eek: