Answers to some of THOSE questions

[Bostondevil]

First off, I never ask these sorts of questions, but I saw that commercial recently where the girl asks the guy in the shower which one of her friends he would most want to sleep with, "Don't worry, I'm not going to get mad, I just want to know."

Of course there are no right answers but if I were a guy, here's what I would say, "Honestly? Your mother." That should put an end to the discussion.

Here's another one: "Guess how old I am?"
There is a right answer to this one, 27. Why? Well, any women under 27 asking that question deserves to have their chain yanked. Any woman over 27 will feel flattered and that's the point. You guys are off the hook.

You already know the answer to "Does this make me look fat?" It's no, no, no, no, no. At some later date, when she's not wearing said garment, if you really don't like the way she looks in it, you may mention that the green skirt or whatever isn't your favorite, but never while she's actually wearing it.

If I come up with any others, I'll let you know.

[hc5duke]

You already know the answer to "Does this make me look fat?" It's no, no, no, no, no.

Hmm no wonder she got mad when I said "THAT? No." :D I'm sure we'll be back on speaking terms again soon.

[billybreen]

Hmm no wonder she got mad when I said "THAT? No." :D I'm sure we'll be back on speaking terms again soon.

If you hesitated at all, you lost.

[Truth]

You already know the answer to "Does this make me look fat?" It's no, no, no, no, no. At some later date, when she's not wearing said garment, if you really don't like the way she looks in it, you may mention that the green skirt or whatever isn't your favorite, but never while she's actually wearing it.

Emphasis added.

Keep in mind that the "later date" when she's not wearing said garment does not include the point in time where no garments are being worn -- it is critical that any and all dislikes are kept quiet until the wearing of some garments reoccur!

[Exiled_Devil]

This reminds me of the three biggest lies told in your 20's:

1. I never do things like this.
2. I'm not drunk.
3. It* meant nothing to me.
*It=he, she, that game, the kiss, some event or person.

I think your post reminds me of this because I came to this list in my dealings with the fairer sex throughout my 20's. It's really a list of lies we tell the opposite sex to make things less complicated.

Of course, lies are the least complicated part of relationships, aren't they?

Exiled

[EarlJam]

Other questions from yore that you have probably given "stretch" answers to:

1. Are you sure you're okay to drive? (Yeah!!!!!!!!!!)

2. When will you be back? (cringe)

3. I AM your girlfriend, right? (I actually had a girl break out a gun with hollow-point bullets after I answered "not sure" to this question once. True story - swear on the Bible).

4. How many did you have?

5. Well, how do you like it (a dish he/she has made)? You can be honest!

6. Were you in my medicine cabinet?

-EJ

[blublood]

Since we're in the Duke geekdom here, how about this horrible excuse for breaking up a relationship: "I love you, but I need to concentrate on my studies right now." God, I *still* gag even thinking about that one!

[wilson]

3. I AM your girlfriend, right? (I actually had a girl break out a gun with hollow-point bullets after I answered "not sure" to this question once. True story - swear on the Bible).
-EJ

I remember this story. It was hilerrifying (and I think I just coined the greatest word in the history of the English language).

[Lavabe]

I haven't changed much with age, have I?

[OldPhiKap]

"No, honey, that dress doesn't make you look fat. It is probably the box of Twinkies you horked down for lunch that does it."

[billybreen]

I'm such a nerd that I've gotten some form of this one from the wife many times in recent years: "If you had to choose between me and [your job|your computer|the internet], which would you pick?" My answer always involves just enough hesitation to get me in trouble.

[hc5duke]

I'm such a nerd that I've gotten some form of this one from the wife many times in recent years: "If you had to choose between me and [your job|your computer|the internet], which would you pick?" My answer always involves just enough hesitation to get me in trouble.

I think there was a Dilbert strip like that while he was dating Liz:
Liz: I think you love that computer more than me
Dil: That's not true, I do not love that computer more than you
Liz: *that* computer?
Dil: (thinking) Oh, please don't ask about the laptop

[wilson]

I've gotten "Who would you choose between Walter [see above, left] and me?" a few times. I flatly refuse to answer, and I get in trouble.

[billybreen]

I've gotten "Who would you choose between Walter [see above, left] and me?" a few times. I flatly refuse to answer, and I get in trouble.

Yeah, I've gotten that one as well, but more frequently we argue about who would take Booch if we ever split. He's my dog, but he loves her more than me. I would take him just to spite her.

[Bostondevil]

I tell my husband that if he ever leaves me, he HAS to take the kids. I'm not living with 4 boys on my own.

[OldPhiKap]

"Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. NOW who's asking the questions?"

-- Jack Handey

[DevilAlumna]

I'm such a nerd that I've gotten some form of this one from the wife many times in recent years: "If you had to choose between me and [your job|your computer|the internet], which would you pick?" My answer always involves just enough hesitation to get me in trouble.

Oh, that's one I've learned not to ask my uber-geek (note: in my world, that's a compliment) of a husband.

And he doesn't ask me to get rid of the dog. :)


And guys, you're always the best (at anything that can be compared against previous boyfriends). The best yet. Always. ;)

[DevilAlumna]

I've gotten "Who would you choose between Walter [see above, left] and me?" a few times. I flatly refuse to answer, and I get in trouble.

Well, whoever asks you that question, knowing you, is clearly not worth choosing over Walter.

[camion]

4. How many did you have?

-EJ
That was referring to beverages, right?

[EarlJam]

That was referring to beverages, right?

Ha! Ha!

Or narcotics....or org....(nevermind). :o

-EJ

[billybreen]

And guys, you're always the best (at anything that can be compared against previous boyfriends). The best yet. Always. ;)

Hmm. Never thought to ask. :)

[DukieInKansas]

I'm thinking "the best YET" isn't the way to go. How about leaving it at Baby, you're the best. :D

[OldPhiKap]

I'm thinking "the best YET" isn't the way to go. How about leaving it at Baby, you're the best. :D


"the best tonight" doesn't inspire a lot of confidence.

[wilson]

Well, whoever asks you that question, knowing you, is clearly not worth choosing over Walter.

She actually asks primarily in jest. She loves Walter. In fact, she demanded that he be invited to sleep with us for at least one night while she was in town last week.
She continues to grow specialer...

[EarlJam]

She actually asks primarily in jest. She loves Walter. In fact, she demanded that he be invited to sleep with us for at least one night while she was in town last week.
She continues to grow specialer...


Can I sleep with ya'll at some point in the near future? You know me man. I'm lovable. C'mon.

-EarlJam

[EarlJam]

By the way, and this is from a true-life experience, never........NEVER tell your girlfriend that you are more "Jesus-like" than she is.

Despite supporting arguments and her "getting all Ceaser" on me, she was not swayed and this did not go over well............at all.

-EarlJam

[TillyGalore]

3. I AM your girlfriend, right? (I actually had a girl break out a gun with hollow-point bullets after I answered "not sure" to this question once. True story - swear on the Bible).


-EJ


By the way, and this is from a true-life experience, never........NEVER tell your girlfriend that you are more "Jesus-like" than she is.

Despite supporting arguments and her "getting all Ceaser" on me, she was not swayed and this did not go over well............at all.

-EarlJam

EJ, you have some very interesting girlfriend/dating experiences. Have you thought about writing a book? Or better still, maybe you should look under a different rock that ones you've been looking under for a girl.

[EarlJam]

EJ, you have some very interesting girlfriend/dating experiences. Have you thought about writing a book? Or better still, maybe you should look under a different rock that ones you've been looking under for a girl.

For the latter, we were having dinner/supper and we got to discussing our weaknesses. I rattled off/admitted to mine and she wouldn't admit to having a weakness. She really said that she had no weaknesses, only strengths that others see as weaknesses (such as being so thorough and detail-oriented and being a "perfectionist.")

Detecting an atmosphere that begged for smart-assness on a grand scale and, after some wine, the conversation flowed into Jesus and I simply pointed out to her that I was far more like the son of God than she was.

She did not understand this.

To clarify, I pointed out the ways that she was like Martha and the Pharisees and that I, in my humility and ongoing sacrifices for others, was more like Jesus Christ.

I made one last try to underscore the point by showing her how I was here to save her, and that, like the Son of man, if she didn't come around to me that she'd end up driving herself to her own personal Hades.

She still wouldn't accept me and said something about me being nuts, crazy.

"That's exactly what they thought of JESUS," I told her, again underscoring how similar the two of us *are.

Anyway, long story short, she never came around. I was upset at first, but me and my 12 closest friends gathered round that night and I told them about our last supper together. Hey! Nevermind.

-EarlJam

*Disclaimer - This, of course, was all a joke and I was trying to make light of a tense moment. Never, ever, ever, has EarlJam considered himself to be anything like the main man, the real deal, Jesus.

[2535Miles]

6. Were you in my medicine cabinet?
-EJ

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I almost spewed coffee through my nose. Thank You EarlJam