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duke79
04-01-2015, 06:23 PM
My ultimate nightmare has come true. My one and only child, who is a senior in high school, has been accepted to UNC - Chapel Hill (we live in Massachusetts and have no connection to North Carolina, other than my going to Duke). LOL. And she is a quadruple, 3-generation legacy at Duke !! We visited Duke for two days last April but she wasn't wild about the campus - too big for her and not a good Physics Department, so she claimed. So, much to my dismay and despite my 17 years of prayers that she would attend Duke, I could not convince her to apply to Duke last Fall (and she's a very good student who, I think, would have had a realistic shot of getting into Duke), but, at the last minute, she decided (I guess on a whim) to throw an application in to UNC.(claiming all along she had no interest in going there. HAH). We spent literally 1.5 hours on our trip having dinner in Chapel Hill - her only "visit" to the school. And UNC was the only school South of the Mason Dixon Line and the only "large" school she applied to. All of the other colleges she applied to were smaller colleges in the Northeast and Midwest. Well, she has now been accepted at 9 of the 10 colleges she applied to and despite telling me all along she had NO interest in UNC - Chapel Hill, she is all of a sudden saying she wants to go visit UNC and she might be interested in attending. UGH !! Her favorite teacher in high school has been telling her what a great school it is and a friend of ours (some friend !!) has been telling her she should seriously consider it.

What should I do? LOL. This is truly sickening to me. My wife - no fan of Duke - is just laughing. Even my daughter is now using her acceptance to UNC as blackmail to get what she wants from me, threatening to go there if I don't do what she wants. Has anyone else been in this awful position?

conmanlhughes
04-01-2015, 06:29 PM
Congratulate her and advise her not to major in AFAM/naval weaponry. :D all jokes aside, it is a great academic university (great nursing program) and I have heard stories of Duke fans surviving in UNC and still remaining Duke fans after graduation. So, there is some hope the legacy could continue(skipping a generation though) :D

Duke95
04-01-2015, 06:30 PM
Remind her that you haven't made out your will yet, and there's no room for UNC on it.

Just kidding.

All sports rivalry nonsense aside, the most important thing is the quality of the education. UNC is a very good school. They have some excellent programs. You should be proud that she was accepted there (as I'm sure you secretly are.) :)

BigWayne
04-01-2015, 06:44 PM
She said the Duke campus was too big for her. This is your angle to work. She only had a meal in Chapel Hill. You need to take her there and schedule an itinerary where you need to walk around to see the real size. Go in the morning. Park your car North of Franklin St. near the restaurant you want to have lunch at. Walk to the Physics building. Walk down to the freshman dorms which are down by the Deandome. Then walk back up the hill to get lunch. If you want to risk it, make a reservation for lunch so you have a deadline to get back up the hill.

cspan37421
04-01-2015, 06:48 PM
My ultimate nightmare has come true. My one and only child, who is a senior in high school, has been accepted to UNC - Chapel Hill (we live in Massachusetts and have no connection to North Carolina, other than my going to Duke). LOL. And she is a quadruple, 3-generation legacy at Duke !! We visited Duke for two days last April but she wasn't wild about the campus - too big for her and not a good Physics Department, so she claimed. So, much to my dismay and despite my 17 years of prayers that she would attend Duke, I could not convince her to apply to Duke last Fall (and she's a very good student who, I think, would have had a realistic shot of getting into Duke), but, at the last minute, she decided (I guess on a whim) to throw an application in to UNC.(claiming all along she had no interest in going there. HAH). We spent literally 1.5 hours on our trip having dinner in Chapel Hill - her only "visit" to the school. And UNC was the only school South of the Mason Dixon Line and the only "large" school she applied to. All of the other colleges she applied to were smaller colleges in the Northeast and Midwest. Well, she has now been accepted at 9 of the 10 colleges she applied to and despite telling me all along she had NO interest in UNC - Chapel Hill, she is all of a sudden saying she wants to go visit UNC and she might be interested in attending. UGH !! Her favorite teacher in high school has been telling her what a great school it is and a friend of ours (some friend !!) has been telling her she should seriously consider it.

What should I do? LOL. This is truly sickening to me. My wife - no fan of Duke - is just laughing. Even my daughter is now using her acceptance to UNC as blackmail to get what she wants from me, threatening to go there if I don't do what she wants. Has anyone else been in this awful position?

You could begin by pointing out their approximately 20-year athletic/academic fraud in service of athletic eligibility, and the consequent threats to accreditation from the SACS. It would do her no good to get a degree from a then-unaccredited school. Perhaps the chances of accreditation being pulled are low, but they are non-zero, are they not? Why take a chance.

I'm unaware of any great physics department at UNC-CH. In general, if she's interested in hard sciences, she might be better off at a school more oriented toward them, such NCSU. Or a smaller school where the science professors would be more like mentors than lecturers who leave it to their TAs to handle recitations and guidance.

But let her visit. If you don't, she may want to go there all the more. Let her see what it's really like. But a word of advice - in general, if you want to see what a school is really like, don't go on admitted students weekend. They pull out all the stops to butter you up and present an unrealistic/unsustainable atmosphere. Sure it's nice and fun, but you can't expect it to be like that on a typical day.

jimsumner
04-01-2015, 06:49 PM
Is it possible that the OP is having a bit of April Fool's fun with us?

YmoBeThere
04-01-2015, 06:51 PM
Visit soon, the weather is nice this time of year. And point out the flaw in her logic on campus size...not to mention class size.

dukelifer
04-01-2015, 06:51 PM
My ultimate nightmare has come true. My one and only child, who is a senior in high school, has been accepted to UNC - Chapel Hill (we live in Massachusetts and have no connection to North Carolina, other than my going to Duke). LOL. And she is a quadruple, 3-generation legacy at Duke !! We visited Duke for two days last April but she wasn't wild about the campus - too big for her and not a good Physics Department, so she claimed. So, much to my dismay and despite my 17 years of prayers that she would attend Duke, I could not convince her to apply to Duke last Fall (and she's a very good student who, I think, would have had a realistic shot of getting into Duke), but, at the last minute, she decided (I guess on a whim) to throw an application in to UNC.(claiming all along she had no interest in going there. HAH). We spent literally 1.5 hours on our trip having dinner in Chapel Hill - her only "visit" to the school. And UNC was the only school South of the Mason Dixon Line and the only "large" school she applied to. All of the other colleges she applied to were smaller colleges in the Northeast and Midwest. Well, she has now been accepted at 9 of the 10 colleges she applied to and despite telling me all along she had NO interest in UNC - Chapel Hill, she is all of a sudden saying she wants to go visit UNC and she might be interested in attending. UGH !! Her favorite teacher in high school has been telling her what a great school it is and a friend of ours (some friend !!) has been telling her she should seriously consider it.

What should I do? LOL. This is truly sickening to me. My wife - no fan of Duke - is just laughing. Even my daughter is now using her acceptance to UNC as blackmail to get what she wants from me, threatening to go there if I don't do what she wants. Has anyone else been in this awful position?

Well if Duke is too big for her- UNC will seem even bigger. Duke physics is ranked 29 and UNC is ranked 39. So her two reasons for not going to Duke are even worse at UNC. My guess is that she is tweaking Dad on this one.

Duvall
04-01-2015, 06:55 PM
What should I do? LOL. This is truly sickening to me. My wife - no fan of Duke - is just laughing. Even my daughter is now using her acceptance to UNC as blackmail to get what she wants from me, threatening to go there if I don't do what she wants. Has anyone else been in this awful position?

You have been outflanked. The only course of action is unconditional surrender, at least until she selects a school.

Troublemaker
04-01-2015, 06:56 PM
Is it possible that the OP is having a bit of April Fool's fun with us?

Or maybe she's having some fun with him on this day?

If not, pillow suffocation seems humane to me.

Jim3k
04-01-2015, 07:32 PM
Explain to her that you are only willing to spend tuition money on Massachusetts state schools or Williams College. The winter drawbacks will make it obvious that you are having the last laugh. (And if she got into Williams, that degree is superior to any that UNC can offer.)

Bob Green
04-01-2015, 07:34 PM
What should I do?

It's easy - unconditional love!

brevity
04-01-2015, 07:35 PM
Why is this original post in both forums, with separate sets of responses?

Newton_14
04-01-2015, 07:41 PM
My ultimate nightmare has come true. My one and only child, who is a senior in high school, has been accepted to UNC - Chapel Hill (we live in Massachusetts and have no connection to North Carolina, other than my going to Duke). LOL. And she is a quadruple, 3-generation legacy at Duke !! We visited Duke for two days last April but she wasn't wild about the campus - too big for her and not a good Physics Department, so she claimed. So, much to my dismay and despite my 17 years of prayers that she would attend Duke, I could not convince her to apply to Duke last Fall (and she's a very good student who, I think, would have had a realistic shot of getting into Duke), but, at the last minute, she decided (I guess on a whim) to throw an application in to UNC.(claiming all along she had no interest in going there. HAH). We spent literally 1.5 hours on our trip having dinner in Chapel Hill - her only "visit" to the school. And UNC was the only school South of the Mason Dixon Line and the only "large" school she applied to. All of the other colleges she applied to were smaller colleges in the Northeast and Midwest. Well, she has now been accepted at 9 of the 10 colleges she applied to and despite telling me all along she had NO interest in UNC - Chapel Hill, she is all of a sudden saying she wants to go visit UNC and she might be interested in attending. UGH !! Her favorite teacher in high school has been telling her what a great school it is and a friend of ours (some friend !!) has been telling her she should seriously consider it.

What should I do? LOL. This is truly sickening to me. My wife - no fan of Duke - is just laughing. Even my daughter is now using her acceptance to UNC as blackmail to get what she wants from me, threatening to go there if I don't do what she wants. Has anyone else been in this awful position?

Tell her you won't pay any of the costs. :)
Tell her all about the Athletic/Academic Fraud.
Cut her out of the will.
Make her watch Ol Roy Pressers on loopback for an entire weekend.
Tell her Chapel Hill has a high crime rate and stinks.

NYBri
04-01-2015, 07:49 PM
I graduated Duke in '74, the dark ages, and went to UNC Grad School in drama, because Duke didn't offer it. I loved staying in NC, worked at A Southern Season and had a blast. I'm still a Duke fan. 9F all the way, so it didn't cause long term brain damage.

She could do worse, in terms of actual schools. AND it will give you an opportunity to visit Duke when you go see her?

Im4howdy
04-01-2015, 07:55 PM
Just tell your daughter you hope she enjoys working to pay the out of state tuition

gus
04-01-2015, 07:59 PM
Just tell your daughter you hope she enjoys working to pay the out of state tuition

because Duke is cheaper?

dukelilsis
04-01-2015, 08:02 PM
I teach at a pretty prestigious private school. One of my students is the child of 2 UNC alums. They refused to even allow her to apply to UNC due to the academic fraud. They fear that her degree would mean less coming from a school with that large of a black mark on it. I like how these people think. ;)

Bluedog
04-01-2015, 08:26 PM
because Duke is cheaper?

For many it is (financial aid)...No idea if the OP's daughter qualifies, though.

weezie
04-01-2015, 08:29 PM
Just give in, you have no choice.

But as to a hole bumper/window sticker on your car???? You do have a choice there.
Never, ever, ever, never. Never.

chainsaw
04-01-2015, 08:35 PM
You cannot imagine how happy I was when my oldest got admitted to Rice for the fall. UNC was in his top 3 (for chemistry and business), but fortunately Rice was #1.

-jk
04-01-2015, 09:02 PM
Dear Abby, dear Abby,

My daughter's a freak...

:)

-jk

-jk
04-01-2015, 09:21 PM
Dear Abby, dear Abby,

My daughter's a freak...

:)

<and don't double post, dammit!> </mod>

-jk

jv001
04-01-2015, 09:24 PM
If she chooses uncheat, tell her she must find a student at Duke for her boyfriend. That might just might make her remember she really loves Duke. GoDuke!

duke79
04-01-2015, 09:31 PM
She said the Duke campus was too big for her. This is your angle to work. She only had a meal in Chapel Hill. You need to take her there and schedule an itinerary where you need to walk around to see the real size. Go in the morning. Park your car North of Franklin St. near the restaurant you want to have lunch at. Walk to the Physics building. Walk down to the freshman dorms which are down by the Deandome. Then walk back up the hill to get lunch. If you want to risk it, make a reservation for lunch so you have a deadline to get back up the hill.

No kidding.....I told her that.....she has no clue how big UNC and Chapel Hill is.

But as to a hole bumper/window sticker on your car???? You do have a choice there.
Never, ever, ever, never. Never

For sure........that ain't happening.

Just tell your daughter you hope she enjoys working to pay the out of state tuition

Ha ha........she's not that stupid. She knows Mom and Dad are coughing up the money, no matter where she goes.

Explain to her that you are only willing to spend tuition money on Massachusetts state schools or Williams College. The winter drawbacks will make it obvious that you are having the last laugh. (And if she got into Williams, that degree is superior to any that UNC can offer.)

Yea, we live only about one hour from Williams but, despite my advice, she did NOT apply there either. I would kill her if she had chosen UNC over Williams.

Or maybe she's having some fun with him on this day?

Nice thought, but I'm afraid she might be serious in looking at going to UNC. UGH.

Well if Duke is too big for her- UNC will seem even bigger. Duke physics is ranked 29 and UNC is ranked 39. So her two reasons for not going to Duke are even worse at UNC. My guess is that she is tweaking Dad on this one.

Yea, but she's interested in Astro Physics and Duke IS very weak in Astro Physics. UNC might actually be better in this discipline.

-jk
04-01-2015, 09:38 PM
No kidding.....I told her that.....she has no clue how big UNC and Chapel Hill is.

But as to a hole bumper/window sticker on your car???? You do have a choice there.
Never, ever, ever, never. Never

For sure........that ain't happening.

Just tell your daughter you hope she enjoys working to pay the out of state tuition

Ha ha........she's not that stupid. She knows Mom and Dad are coughing up the money, no matter where she goes.

Explain to her that you are only willing to spend tuition money on Massachusetts state schools or Williams College. The winter drawbacks will make it obvious that you are having the last laugh. (And if she got into Williams, that degree is superior to any that UNC can offer.)

Yea, we live only about one hour from Williams but, despite my advice, she did NOT apply there either. I would kill her if she had chosen UNC over Williams.

Or maybe she's having some fun with him on this day?

Nice thought, but I'm afraid she might be serious in looking at going to UNC. UGH.

Well if Duke is too big for her- UNC will seem even bigger. Duke physics is ranked 29 and UNC is ranked 39. So her two reasons for not going to Duke are even worse at UNC. My guess is that she is tweaking Dad on this one.

Yea, but she's interested in Astro Physics and Duke IS very weak in Astro Physics. UNC might actually be better in this discipline.

Heh. Kids. (Damned if you do, damned if you don't....)

_jk

duke79
04-01-2015, 10:23 PM
Heh. Kids. (Damned if you do, damned if you don't....)

_jk

No kidding......it's bad enough that she didn't apply to Duke.......and now I may have to face the reality she'll be going to UNC.

RCDevil
04-02-2015, 12:53 AM
Assuming this isn't an April Fool's thread - first off, I'm sorry to hear about this.

Whatever you do, don't push her not to attend UNC. The one way you can guarantee a 17 year-old won't do something is if you keep telling them to do it.

Let her take the visit. If she didn't like how big Duke was, and that was a legitimate concern of hers, she won't be enthralled by UNC either.

Saying Duke doesn't have a great physics department honestly sounds a little silly, but UNC does offer an astrophysics major which Duke does not. However, the question that immediately comes to mind is whether she's interested in schools like MIT or Caltech. Does she just want to get out of state? Is she just applying to UNC to be contrarian? She sounds like she has the resume and grades for an MIT/Caltech-caliber school. I also think Boston University, which is local to you, has an astrophysics program.

In any event, I had a classmate in high school who ended up going to UNC, but her dad was a huge Duke fan and refused to convert. Wouldn't wear a Carolina shirt or put a UNC sticker on his car. He found out I was going to Duke and gave me a very loud "GO DUKE, CAROLINA SUCKS" right in front of his daughter. Sounds mean, but was actually pretty hysterical if you were there (she was laughing about it). If she does end up going to Carolina, at least know it will probably open doors for her. You won't be under any obligation to become a Heels fan in any capacity. If I had a kid go to UNC, it wouldn't make my hatred for those clowns dim whatsoever.

bjornolf
04-02-2015, 05:41 AM
Visit soon, the weather is nice this time of year. And point out the flaw in her logic on campus size...not to mention class size.

I was thinking the same about campus size.

DukeDevil
04-02-2015, 08:08 AM
Is it possible that the OP is having a bit of April Fool's fun with us?

CAROLINA IS NO JOKE.

Oh wait....

budwom
04-02-2015, 08:46 AM
I'd hire a deprogrammer. Well worth the money.

gumbomoop
04-02-2015, 08:56 AM
And UNC was the only school South of the Mason Dixon Line and the only "large" school she applied to. All of the other colleges she applied to were smaller colleges in the Northeast and Midwest.

I might have an interesting option for her (and you). But first, any chance you could list some/all of the small colleges she's considering?

I agree with cspan37421's comment in post above re small dept, mentoring, and actually "doing" physics, including mentored research, as an undergrad.

aimo
04-02-2015, 09:08 AM
Every time she tries to blackmail you with attending UNC, say Fine, then you're paying for it yourself!

duke79
04-02-2015, 11:15 AM
Assuming this isn't an April Fool's thread - first off, I'm sorry to hear about this.

Whatever you do, don't push her not to attend UNC. The one way you can guarantee a 17 year-old won't do something is if you keep telling them to do it.

Let her take the visit. If she didn't like how big Duke was, and that was a legitimate concern of hers, she won't be enthralled by UNC either.

Saying Duke doesn't have a great physics department honestly sounds a little silly, but UNC does offer an astrophysics major which Duke does not. However, the question that immediately comes to mind is whether she's interested in schools like MIT or Caltech. Does she just want to get out of state? Is she just applying to UNC to be contrarian? She sounds like she has the resume and grades for an MIT/Caltech-caliber school. I also think Boston University, which is local to you, has an astrophysics program.

In any event, I had a classmate in high school who ended up going to UNC, but her dad was a huge Duke fan and refused to convert. Wouldn't wear a Carolina shirt or put a UNC sticker on his car. He found out I was going to Duke and gave me a very loud "GO DUKE, CAROLINA SUCKS" right in front of his daughter. Sounds mean, but was actually pretty hysterical if you were there (she was laughing about it). If she does end up going to Carolina, at least know it will probably open doors for her. You won't be under any obligation to become a Heels fan in any capacity. If I had a kid go to UNC, it wouldn't make my hatred for those clowns dim
whatsoever.

Unfortunately, her sudden and unexpected interest in UNC is NO April Fool's joke. !! (I couldn't be that lucky)

Yea, I understand about not pushing her too hard NOT to attend UNC. She can be a contrarian and will want to go there even more if I do. I understand that risk.

She did not apply to MIT or Caltech. She (maybe) should have looked at MIT but I don't think she would have been happy there. She's quite social and I think she would have found a school like MIT to be too nerdy. Interestingly, the girl who is first in my daughter's class (and my daughter is second in the class) was accepted to and IS going to attend MIT next year. Frankly, I think my daughter is smarter than that girl and had higher SAT's, including a higher Math SAT score.

I'm also not sure how serious she is about being an Astrophysics major. I have the feeling once she takes a few Astrophysics courses in college, she won't want to major in that. I know it can be an intense major, with a lot of high-level math. Also, like a lot of 18 year-olds, she can be quite mercurial and fickle. That's why I think focusing on schools with strong Astrophysics programs may be a mistake.

Frankly, I don't hate UNC (I even grudgingly accept that it is a good university. Hell, I applied there and almost went) and I even like the town of Chapel Hill, BUT I do think the school would be too big, both in terms of geography and number of students, for her. I'm afraid she would get lost in the crowd there.

duke79
04-02-2015, 11:26 AM
I might have an interesting option for her (and you). But first, any chance you could list some/all of the small colleges she's considering?

I agree with cspan37421's comment in post above re small dept, mentoring, and actually "doing" physics, including mentored research, as an undergrad.

Thanks, yea, she has been accepted to Bates College (in Maine); Hamilton College (in NY); University of Rochester (in NY); Kenyon College (in Ohio); Carlton College (in Minnesota); Franklin and Marshall (in PA); UNC; and waitlisted at Tufts (in MA) - but has no interest in going to Tufts.

In all honesty, I think she "undersold" herself with the colleges she applied to. Not to be a college snob, but I was pushing Yale, Princeton, Duke or Stanford. Not sure she would have gotten into any of those but would have been worth an application, IMHO.

We didn't apply for financial aid, but Kenyon offered her a $25,000 per year merit scholarship and University of Rochester offered her a $12,000 per year merit scholarship.

UNC is actually about $20,000 per year LESS than the other colleges, even for an out-of-state student. My wife said we shouldn't ignore that.

mgtr
04-02-2015, 11:34 AM
There is an advantage to going to a college which is in the area of the country where you think you might want to work.

cato
04-02-2015, 11:37 AM
North Carolina is an amazing state, and getting out of the Northeast is just the right thing for many young people. It certainly was for me. The rivalry is fun, but strong willed kids have a tendency to find the right path.

Just make sure she gets an angle on seats at the Dome so that you can be there for the next back breaking Duke win.

Bostondevil
04-02-2015, 12:21 PM
The DBR can be a very useful website. My hubby (Duke '84) is a Harvard physics professor who just so happens to have a stake in some pretty serious astrophysics research although his specialty is AMO physics. (Google "astro comb"). Anyway, in a spirit of helpfulness, I asked him his opinion. I already knew Williams was excellent in physics. I know several members of the physics faculty there myself and can highly recommend them as good teachers/mentors.

Hubby's opinion, and in typical professorial fashion he reminded me that there are many factors other than academic courses to consider when choosing a college, he then said when it comes to physics, there is no comparison between Williams and UNC. Williams is vastly superior to UNC in physics.

I'm going to assume you aren't a physicist. If you are, I apologize, but, in the world of physicists, astro-physics is considered kind of lesser. There is the opinion that most of the big questions have been answered and further astro-related research is going to take expertise in other sub fields of physics. That's another thing to consider if dear daughter is contemplating graduate work she would also be much better off majoring in straight physics than in astro-physics. Take the astro related courses but major in physics. In 4 years, maybe she'll want to come be a grad student in hubby's lab!

Finally, I'm surprised at you. My kids have known from the womb that if they go to UNC they are paying for it themselves. ;-) And they know I am not kidding. One of the reasons, and this might no longer be true but it was when I was growing up in NC, but the other schools in the UNC system had higher tuition than Chapel Hill. The reasoning was they wanted to keep the flagship of the system the most affordable. Perhaps a worthy goal, but guess where the haves went to school versus the have nots? That's when I vowed never to give UNC-CH a dime of tuition money.

Final point from me - are you aware of the current brouhaha down there as it relates to the state Republican Party basically taking over the University? They are trying to force out tenured professors they deem too liberal. The Board of Governors, appointed by the very conservative current governor, has engineered the resignation of the current university president. I am not making a political statement here - I would be dismayed no matter who decided to make running UNC an ideological statement. I predict a very turbulent next few years at UNC. I wouldn't want to send my child into that mess even if I were TarHeel born and bred.

TruBlu
04-02-2015, 12:25 PM
My nephew was a Duke fan through high school, like most of my family, but he ended up going to UNC.

He is now my ex-nephew.


(Just kidding. I even paid for a couple of his semesters at UNC when my brother was financially strapped. Blood is thicker than even Duke Blue water.)

nmduke2001
04-02-2015, 12:40 PM
Finally, I'm surprised at you. My kids have known from the womb that if they go to UNC they are paying for it themselves. ;-) And they know I am not kidding. One of the reasons, and this might no longer be true but it was when I was growing up in NC, but the other schools in the UNC system had higher tuition than Chapel Hill. The reasoning was they wanted to keep the flagship of the system the most affordable. Perhaps a worthy goal, but guess where the haves went to school versus the have nots? That's when I vowed never to give UNC-CH a dime of tuition money.

My wife (also a Duke Grad) and I spoke about this last night. We have a 5 year old and a 3 year old. We basically decided that we are not going to allow the kids to even apply to UNC unless they have some specialty which there is no other clear option. I don't want to go through what the thread starter is going through now. Like Bostondevil, I think I will let them know that we will not pay for UNC so they don't even consider it.

Bostondevil
04-02-2015, 01:02 PM
Thanks, yea, she has been accepted to Bates College (in Maine); Hamilton College (in NY); University of Rochester (in NY); Kenyon College (in Ohio); Carlton College (in Minnesota); Franklin and Marshall (in PA); UNC; and waitlisted at Tufts (in MA) - but has no interest in going to Tufts.

In all honesty, I think she "undersold" herself with the colleges she applied to. Not to be a college snob, but I was pushing Yale, Princeton, Duke or Stanford. Not sure she would have gotten into any of those but would have been worth an application, IMHO.

We didn't apply for financial aid, but Kenyon offered her a $25,000 per year merit scholarship and University of Rochester offered her a $12,000 per year merit scholarship.

UNC is actually about $20,000 per year LESS than the other colleges, even for an out-of-state student. My wife said we shouldn't ignore that.

Oops, did I get mixed up? I thought she was accepted to Williams too!

I don't know about the physics departments at those schools. I'll ask hubby later, if you like.

burnspbesq
04-02-2015, 01:17 PM
Thanks, yea, she has been accepted to Bates College (in Maine); Hamilton College (in NY); University of Rochester (in NY); Kenyon College (in Ohio); Carlton College (in Minnesota); Franklin and Marshall (in PA); UNC; and waitlisted at Tufts (in MA) - but has no interest in going to Tufts.

In all honesty, I think she "undersold" herself with the colleges she applied to. Not to be a college snob, but I was pushing Yale, Princeton, Duke or Stanford. Not sure she would have gotten into any of those but would have been worth an application, IMHO.

We didn't apply for financial aid, but Kenyon offered her a $25,000 per year merit scholarship and University of Rochester offered her a $12,000 per year merit scholarship.

UNC is actually about $20,000 per year LESS than the other colleges, even for an out-of-state student. My wife said we shouldn't ignore that.

Out of that group, U of R would be my pick, but if she is interested in the sciences and wants a smaller school, she should be going to Union or RPI.

Neals384
04-02-2015, 01:18 PM
Final point from me - are you aware of the current brouhaha down there as it relates to the state Republican Party basically taking over the University? They are trying to force out tenured professors they deem too liberal. The Board of Governors, appointed by the very conservative current governor, has engineered the resignation of the current university president. I am not making a political statement here - I would be dismayed no matter who decided to make running UNC an ideological statement. I predict a very turbulent next few years at UNC. I wouldn't want to send my child into that mess even if I were TarHeel born and bred.

Really? Will there be any faculty left?

grit74
04-02-2015, 01:31 PM
I am not making a political statement here - I would be dismayed no matter who decided to make running UNC an ideological statement. I predict a very turbulent next few years at UNC. I wouldn't want to send my child into that mess even if I were TarHeel born and bred.

I absolutely agree with this sentiment. But, you should understand, that was the exact situation before, only now the ideology is different.

Neals384
04-02-2015, 01:36 PM
Suck it up, dad. This is good practice for the day she introduces you to the guy/gal she wants to marry!;)

rsvman
04-02-2015, 02:04 PM
I'd hire a deprogrammer. Well worth the money.

Or perhaps an exorcist?!? :)

Ima Facultiwyfe
04-02-2015, 02:39 PM
My husband has taught at Duke for about fifty years. He was one of the original faculty that came here to form the business school. We've lived on the hump on the dump from the beginning.

When it came time for daughter #1 to start college, she chose UNC (questionable that she'd have gotten into Duke anyway)and married a Heel she met there. But, for what it's worth - we got even. Their son (known here as "Native") sent them into shock when he enrolled at Duke. He's had the time of his life. He graduates this year and they will be verrrrry relieved to stop making out so many checks to Duke.

So........ ya win some, ya lose some.
Love, Ima

duke79
04-02-2015, 03:50 PM
I might have an interesting option for her (and you). But first, any chance you could list some/all of the small colleges she's considering?

I agree with cspan37421's comment in post above re small dept, mentoring, and actually "doing" physics, including mentored research, as an undergrad.


Suck it up, dad. This is good practice for the day she introduces you to the guy/gal she wants to marry!;)

LOL.......yea, I already have some practice with that. She had a BF last year that I basically hated (for no rational reason other than he was dating my only daughter and he drove a jacked-up truck with no muffler on it. LOL). I did my best to ignore him and discourage her involvement with him whenever I could. Even my wife told me......."you are really NOT handling this well. Grow up". Luckily, that "relationship" ended but now some other moronic guy is coming by the house to hang out with her. I realize it was much easier being a parent when she was five years old.

cato
04-02-2015, 04:53 PM
My husband has taught at Duke for about fifty years. He was one of the original faculty that came here to form the business school. We've lived on the hump on the dump from the beginning.

When it came time for daughter #1 to start college, she chose UNC (questionable that she'd have gotten into Duke anyway)and married a Heel she met there. But, for what it's worth - we got even. Their son (known here as "Native") sent them into shock when he enrolled at Duke. He's had the time of his life. He graduates this year and they will be verrrrry relieved to stop making out so many checks to Duke.

So........ ya win some, ya lose some.
Love, Ima

Excellent. After all, revenge is a dish best served by the grandkids.

oakvillebluedevil
04-02-2015, 07:10 PM
My husband has taught at Duke for about fifty years. He was one of the original faculty that came here to form the business school. We've lived on the hump on the dump from the beginning.

When it came time for daughter #1 to start college, she chose UNC (questionable that she'd have gotten into Duke anyway)and married a Heel she met there. But, for what it's worth - we got even. Their son (known here as "Native") sent them into shock when he enrolled at Duke. He's had the time of his life. He graduates this year and they will be verrrrry relieved to stop making out so many checks to Duke.

So........ ya win some, ya lose some.
Love, Ima


Amazing - this is an incredible bit of DBR genealogy. Despite manning the LM section with 'Native' for a year, I didn't know that - and given the way he carries himself as a crazie, not something I could have ever guessed.

devil84
04-02-2015, 09:50 PM
My kids have known from the womb that if they go to UNC they are paying for it themselves. ;-) And they know I am not kidding.

Uh, yeah. This. My daughter went to State and did her Master's at UNC-G. My son started at State, then transferred to and graduated from WFU. He's now doing his Master's at UNC. The good news is that UNC is paying him to go there, so no checks from either of us are going to that school. He's doing his research in conjunction with Duke, which is pretty cool, and he's now looking at doing his PhD at UNC because Duke does not have an Exercise Physiology department (or any equivalent). Besides, his adviser has some pretty impeccable credentials and he'd like to continue with him and his really cool connections (like the Brazilian triathlon team and the US Olympic Training Center, not to mention the really cool research on exercise helping breast cancer patients recover better and faster). Fortunately, that grad department is not chock full of Tar Heel fans...in fact, most faculty and staff are disinterested in the UNC sports teams and instead root for someone else. That is NOT the case in most departments, though.

My son is still a Blue Devil fan through and through, despite studying at every other Big 4 university. He is, however, getting the best education FOR HIM. He loves the small department, the terrific staff, the challenging and interesting course curriculum, and his research project is perfect for him and will set him up for a wonderful career. And his research is in conjunction with Duke. The only problem were seeing with this is that he may have to graduate in a terrible color, I may have to set foot in one of the athletic centers for graduation, and he'll have a UNC diploma on the wall forever. But it IS a good school. He loves what he's learning, he's clearly learning a lot, and he'll be able to have a long and successful career when he completes his degree(s).

There are worse things than your child going to UNC. The good news is that you can come visit her during basketball season and then hop over to Cameron to catch a game!

77devil
04-02-2015, 10:12 PM
Final point from me - are you aware of the current brouhaha down there as it relates to the state Republican Party basically taking over the University?

How times have changed! Mrs. 77devil was prohibited from applying, and I am not making this up, because her father believed it was run by communists. Fortunately for me she went to Duke.


There are worse things than your child going to UNC.

Not many.

Bostondevil
04-02-2015, 10:38 PM
I absolutely agree with this sentiment. But, you should understand, that was the exact situation before, only now the ideology is different.

Really? A Democratic governor forced out a President of UNC? I missed that. When did that happen?

Bostondevil
04-02-2015, 10:42 PM
My husband has taught at Duke for about fifty years. He was one of the original faculty that came here to form the business school. We've lived on the hump on the dump from the beginning.

When it came time for daughter #1 to start college, she chose UNC (questionable that she'd have gotten into Duke anyway)and married a Heel she met there. But, for what it's worth - we got even. Their son (known here as "Native") sent them into shock when he enrolled at Duke. He's had the time of his life. He graduates this year and they will be verrrrry relieved to stop making out so many checks to Duke.

So........ ya win some, ya lose some.
Love, Ima

We saw you on TV at the ACC Tournament! Native knows Son of BostonDevil at Duke.

AncientPsychicT
04-03-2015, 03:20 AM
Carlton College (in Minnesota)

That's your winner. (Although it's spelled Carleton, with an E)

Carleton College has an excellent physics and astronomy program. They often place majors into high-ranking physics grad schools (i.e. Princeton, MIT, etc), and when they get there, Carleton majors have a nice track record of actually getting their Ph.D. They also have a dedicated telescope and observatory, (https://apps.carleton.edu/campus/observatory/) a resource that very few other schools can offer (Duke does not have one, for instance). Moreover, the success rate of women entering into the Carleton physics program is one of the highest in the country. You can read more about Carleton's program here (https://apps.carleton.edu/curricular/physics/physics_at_Carleton/highlights/) (as well as clicking around the Carleton physics site).

If your daughter is seriously considering a career in astrophysics, I'd strongly recommend Carleton College.



Also, for clarification...


We saw you on TV at the ACC Tournament! Native knows Son of BostonDevil at Duke.

...Son of BostonDevil = Me.

And yes, if I ever have kids, I will also be implementing the "UNC = I don't pay" policy.

YmoBeThere
04-03-2015, 04:40 AM
That's your winner. (Although it's spelled Carleton, with an E)

Carleton College has an excellent physics and astronomy program. They often place majors into high-ranking physics grad schools (i.e. Princeton, MIT, etc), and when they get there, Carleton majors have a nice track record of actually getting their Ph.D. They also have a dedicated telescope and observatory, (https://apps.carleton.edu/campus/observatory/) a resource that very few other schools can offer (Duke does not have one, for instance). Moreover, the success rate of women entering into the Carleton physics program is one of the highest in the country. You can read more about Carleton's program here (https://apps.carleton.edu/curricular/physics/physics_at_Carleton/highlights/) (as well as clicking around the Carleton physics site).

If your daughter is seriously considering a career in astrophysics, I'd strongly recommend Carleton College.



Also, for clarification...



...Son of BostonDevil = Me.

And yes, if I ever have kids, I will also be implementing the "UNC = I don't pay" policy.

Okay, so my take away from your post is when did they name House H the Gates House? Why not call House G(all women in my day) that? I was in H in '92 and '93, second floor closest to the clock tower overlooking Clocktower/Crowell Quad in '92 and Main Quad in '93. An excellent spot to observe the happenings of the day, though the higher floors in the Clocktower did allow for better unobserved mischief.

detule
04-03-2015, 09:28 AM
Thanks, yea, she has been accepted to Bates College (in Maine); Hamilton College (in NY); University of Rochester (in NY); Kenyon College (in Ohio); Carlton College (in Minnesota); Franklin and Marshall (in PA); UNC; and waitlisted at Tufts (in MA) - but has no interest in going to Tufts.


With an interest in physics, she's likely looking into pursuing an advanced degree no? Well, there's your chance - she could still end up at Duke.

FWIW, I did my undergrad work at one of the schools you listed, and then continued onto Duke for my graduate degree in a STEM field. Though I could list many shortcomings of my (liberal arts) undergraduate education - being ill-prepared for graduate school is not one of them. For all the discussion about which undergraduate institution has the best physics department, they are all prestigious academic environments (excluding UNC, of course) that would give her both a well-rounded education AND the latitude to pursue studies, independent or otherwise, to best prepare herself for graduate school.

Also, would you rather she spend 3-4 years at Duke as an undergrad, or 4-6 (4-10?, looking at some of you on this board here) as a graduate student? Just sayin'...

Congratulations to both of you for the choices you have!

AncientPsychicT
04-03-2015, 10:12 AM
Okay, so my take away from your post is when did they name House H the Gates House? Why not call House G(all women in my day) that? I was in H in '92 and '93, second floor closest to the clock tower overlooking Clocktower/Crowell Quad in '92 and Main Quad in '93. An excellent spot to observe the happenings of the day, though the higher floors in the Clocktower did allow for better unobserved mischief.

They decided on Gates House the year before I moved in (i.e. the first year it was Gates House was my first year in the house). I am currently in my second year in Gates House. They probably decided on 'Gates' because as currently organized, House H/Gates House is something like 75%-80% women. For what it's worth, House G is Griffin House, and it's much closer to 50/50 (I think it even leans slightly male).

Skitzle
04-03-2015, 10:24 AM
My son just turned 10 months old :)

Insanely enough we had this conversation with my wife last week before this post went up. I told her it would be hard for me and I got yelled at (she is not a duke alum, she didn't even go to school in the USA).

Anyway I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this is a real problem.

That said, I think you have to shut your mouth and deal with it. It's a great school. Barring the AFAM and Ethics Branches!!!

It could be worse: see Luke Kennard :D (Entire family = Kentucky Fans, Son = Next Hated Duke Guard)

duke79
04-03-2015, 10:43 AM
My son just turned 10 months old :)

Insanely enough we had this conversation with my wife last week before this post went up. I told her it would be hard for me and I got yelled at (she is not a duke alum, she didn't even go to school in the USA).

Anyway I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this is a real problem.

That said, I think you have to shut your mouth and deal with it. It's a great school. Barring the AFAM and Ethics Branches!!!

It could be worse: see Luke Kennard :D (Entire family = Kentucky Fans, Son = Next Hated Duke Guard)

LOL, I feel your pain. I'm getting NO sympathy from my wife on my "dilemma" - frankly, she's a "hater" - thinks Duke is a rich, white, racist school and would never have wanted my daughter to even apply there. So, she's not completely opposed to her going to UNC. Yea, I don't hate UNC as much as some people on this Board and I like Chapel Hill and even accept it is a good school for some kids, but I just NEVER thought my daughter would have ANY interest in going there, so it is very shocking to me.

DukieInKansas
04-03-2015, 12:41 PM
This thread reminds me of a family I know. Dad is a Missouri fan/Kansas "hater". Oldest child went to KU - played tuba in the band. I asked him how his Dad handled him going to KU and his response was that he made his Mom write the checks. To add insult to injury, youngest went to KU also - but was on a softball scholarship, so that might have made it a bit easier.

Bostondevil
04-03-2015, 12:59 PM
My son just turned 10 months old :)

Insanely enough we had this conversation with my wife last week before this post went up. I told her it would be hard for me and I got yelled at (she is not a duke alum, she didn't even go to school in the USA).

Anyway I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this is a real problem.

That said, I think you have to shut your mouth and deal with it. It's a great school. Barring the AFAM and Ethics Branches!!!

It could be worse: see Luke Kennard :D (Entire family = Kentucky Fans, Son = Next Hated Duke Guard)

Does your wife expect you to be understanding when she doesn't like something, even if her reasons for not liking something are. from an outsiders viewpoint, ridiculous? There are thousands of institutions of higher learning in the US. Making it clear that ONE of them is off limits should be written into a prenuptial agreement. Still, my advice, if it really matters to you, make this your "Get Out of Jail Free" card. I, of course, avoided this issue by marrying a fellow Dukie! (We did not meet at Duke.) ;-)

grateful_duke
04-04-2015, 02:07 AM
I know she's 3 Gen at Duke but honestly I think you're being a little silly OP.

This was bound to happen in the family, there's always going to be that kid along the way.

You should support her, just because you went there doesn't mean she has to. And I hate to say it, and I'll probably get ridiculed for saying this on here, but UNC isn't the worst university out there (academically) either.

And if anything, it'll create a fun rivalry with your daughter. Ugh I think I just puked...:p

Henderson
04-04-2015, 01:11 PM
You have been outflanked. The only course of action is unconditional surrender, at least until she selects a school.


It's easy - unconditional love!


I know she's 3 Gen at Duke but honestly I think you're being a little silly OP.

This was bound to happen in the family, there's always going to be that kid along the way.

You should support her, just because you went there doesn't mean she has to. And I hate to say it, and I'll probably get ridiculed for saying this on here, but UNC isn't the worst university out there (academically) either.

And if anything, it'll create a fun rivalry with your daughter. Ugh I think I just puked...:p

When my daughters were in elementary school, I told Mrs. Henderson that as soon as they started showing signs of puberty, they were going to a convent until they were 18, then dumped on the steps of Gilbert-Adams with a toothbrush, change of clothes, and a check made out to the bursar.

In some ways, that plan didn't work out.

With their healthy rebellion against 2 Duke parents and a "I wanna go my own way" attitude, each (plus a brother) managed to survive not going to Duke. They've all thrived, and I can't understand why.

But I shudder to think what might have happened to them if any had chosen Carolina.

duke79
04-04-2015, 03:02 PM
Does your wife expect you to be understanding when she doesn't like something, even if her reasons for not liking something are. from an outsiders viewpoint, ridiculous? There are thousands of institutions of higher learning in the US. Making it clear that ONE of them is off limits should be written into a prenuptial agreement. Still, my advice, if it really matters to you, make this your "Get Out of Jail Free" card. I, of course, avoided this issue by marrying a fellow Dukie! (We did not meet at Duke.) ;-)

Yea, I was not smart enough to put such a "no child of mine is going to UNC" clause in the pre-nup. Frankly, I was not thinking that far ahead when I got married.


I know she's 3 Gen at Duke but honestly I think you're being a little silly OP.

This was bound to happen in the family, there's always going to be that kid along the way.

You should support her, just because you went there doesn't mean she has to. And I hate to say it, and I'll probably get ridiculed for saying this on here, but UNC isn't the worst university out there (academically) either.

And if anything, it'll create a fun rivalry with your daughter. Ugh I think I just puked...:p

I am being some facetious with this thread. UNC is not a bad university and I like Chapel Hill. I guess she could end up at a worse school and I would have a reason to visit the Triangle area.


When my daughters were in elementary school, I told Mrs. Henderson that as soon as they started showing signs of puberty, they were going to a convent until they were 18, then dumped on the steps of Gilbert-Adams with a toothbrush, change of clothes, and a check made out to the bursar.

In some ways, that plan didn't work out.

With their healthy rebellion against 2 Duke parents and a "I wanna go my own way" attitude, each (plus a brother) managed to survive not going to Duke. They've all thrived, and I can't understand why.

But I shudder to think what might have happened to them if any had chosen Carolina.

I understand COMPLETELY about sending your teenage daughter to a convent. I was pushing for this myself. LOL
I have (sort of) accepted the reality that she will NOT be attending Duke.......but I'm still having a hard time fully accepting it.

duke79
04-21-2015, 11:29 AM
I'm saved !! My daughter has decided NOT to attend UNC. (She asked me, "does that make you happy, Dad?" LOL). Admittedly, it would have given me a reason to visit the Triangle area more often but I also would have had to live with that for the rest of my life.

Orange&BlackSheep
04-21-2015, 02:36 PM
I'm saved !! My daughter has decided NOT to attend UNC. (She asked me, "does that make you happy, Dad?" LOL). Admittedly, it would have given me a reason to visit the Triangle area more often but I also would have had to live with that for the rest of my life.

My Grandfather never fully accepted my orange&black decision in lieu of true blue. I am SO thankful I got bounced in the finals for the Morehead at Carolina although I would have liked to see my Dad wrestle with writing no checks for college vs accepting a Carolina grad. I think he would have accepted the no check writing knowing him.

sagegrouse
04-21-2015, 02:47 PM
She said the Duke campus was too big for her. This is your angle to work. She only had a meal in Chapel Hill. You need to take her there and schedule an itinerary where you need to walk around to see the real size. Go in the morning. Park your car North of Franklin St. near the restaurant you want to have lunch at. Walk to the Physics building. Walk down to the freshman dorms which are down by the Deandome. Then walk back up the hill to get lunch. If you want to risk it, make a reservation for lunch so you have a deadline to get back up the hill.

Uhhh... You have to take a bus to class from many of the dorms, including all the freshman dorms. And that's according to the campus tour guides at UNC a few months ago.

Thsi post is SO-O-O-O-O dumb, in that I didn't read the denouement message.

PackMan97
04-21-2015, 03:02 PM
What should I do? LOL. This is truly sickening to me. My wife - no fan of Duke - is just laughing. Even my daughter is now using her acceptance to UNC as blackmail to get what she wants from me, threatening to go there if I don't do what she wants. Has anyone else been in this awful position?

Even though it happened 18 years ago, realizing that a spouse has been unfaithful will always hurt. There is a reason your wife is laughing...she knows the joke she's played for the past 18 years! I would advise you to seek a good psychologist to help you through this troubling discovery.

hudlow
04-21-2015, 08:17 PM
Show her this....

http://www.cbssports.com/collegebasketball/eye-on-college-basketball/25156547/unc-making-subtle-changes-to-hoops-uniforms-in-new-brand-identity

Mtn.Devil.91.92.01.10.15
04-21-2015, 08:26 PM
Show her this....

http://www.cbssports.com/collegebasketball/eye-on-college-basketball/25156547/unc-making-subtle-changes-to-hoops-uniforms-in-new-brand-identity

Please don't post any offensive pornography here. This is a family site.

hudlow
04-21-2015, 08:36 PM
Please don't post any offensive pornography here. This is a family site.


I just thought the "subtle" sock look might be a deal breaker.

alteran
04-21-2015, 08:50 PM
Congratulate her and advise her not to major in AFAM/naval weaponry. :D all jokes aside, it is a great academic university (great nursing program) and I have heard stories of Duke fans surviving in UNC and still remaining Duke fans after graduation. So, there is some hope the legacy could continue(skipping a generation though) :D

Yes, it happened to me.

I had a blast. The school administration was a bunch of hidebound jerks, but the student body was actually pretty great. Far less obnoxious than the fans at large.

Your daughter's going to be all right. :-)

If you want scare her off, however, tell her to take a gander at the male to female ratio.

alteran
04-21-2015, 09:22 PM
Dear Abby, dear Abby,

My daughter's a freak...

:)

<and don't double post, dammit!> </mod>

-jk

Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my daughter's a freak,
She favors a school where the ethics are weak,
She'll arrive there just as their rep is in flames,
Traded for players and vacated games.

Signed,
No Heeling


No Heeling, No Heeling, now THAT'S a complaint,
Don't let your kid go where the school has a taint,
Now listen up, buster-- you know that you should,
That transcript of hers should to be sent somewhere good.

Signed,
Dear Abby

Dukehky
04-21-2015, 09:58 PM
I'm UNC Law as a Duke Alum. Being there when they go through their struggles. Priceless. The only people who are jerks about being from Duke are random girls. Anyone with a life doesn't care. Avoid the Wal-Mart on 15-501, you'll find a ton of people who frequent IC.

wilson
04-21-2015, 10:09 PM
Avoid Wal-Mart.There, that's better.