Tom Emma - Very Sad News

[dyedwab]

Tom Emma has died

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/06/ex-duke_basketball_captain_jum.html

[AtlBluRew]

That is indeed sad. He was my classmate and a good guy.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Very shocking and very sad. Condolences to his family.

[CathyCA]

Oh, God, no! Tommy is a dear friend.

My condolences to his family and friends. . .

[Newton_14]

I am shocked. Very sad news. Prayers for his family. I saw him play in Cameron when I was a teen. The guy was a competitor and I enjoyed watching him and Chip play.

I lost a close friend to suicide 2 years ago and it is just hard to accept when this choice is made and you are left to wonder why.

[Verga3]

So shocking and sad. Prayers to his family. Great guy and one of the great past team leaders.

Tom was a senior captain in '82-'83 when Coach K brought in that famous recruiting class of Dawkins, Alarie, D. Henderson, Bilas and W. Williams. He was an accomplished author and strength and conditioning specialist, with a master's degree from Columbia University. He was the President of Power Performance, Inc., which he founded in 1991.

[Son of Jarhead]

My condolences to all his family and friends. May they, and he, find peace.

[fgb]

heartbreaking news. i remember as a kid, shooting baskets in my driveway, pretending i was tom emma.

tom, if you can hear me, thanks.

[OldPhiKap]

Very sad, my thoughts and prayers for the family. OPK

[DukieInKansas]

My condolences to all his family and friends. May they, and he, find peace.

I can find any better words to express my thoughts. Prayers for his family and friends.

[VAGentleman05]

Truly terrible news. Very sorry to hear it, for Tom's family and friends and all the Duke community.

[killerleft]

I don't have a Far Side-esque drawing to go along with it, but here's what the text regarding Emma at Duke might say:

"It wasn't until years later, when the floor started getting slapped with regularity, that we understood why Tom started and Chip sat the pine a lot."

RIP, Tom Emma.

[sagegrouse]

What a loss. My feelings go out to his family and friends, who will miss him greatly. Truly sad.

sagegrouse

[DevilWearsPrada]

. Great guy and one of the great past team leaders.

Tom was a senior captain in '82-'83 when Coach K brought in that famous recruiting class of Dawkins, Alarie, D. Henderson, Bilas and W. Williams. .

So sad to hear this tragic news. Prayers and thoughts to his family, friends, and former Duke classmates and teammates. But being a leader at Duke, and being a Big Brother to that famous Recruiting class, will always be remembered to all of us.

[johnb]

I didn't know him but certainly admired him as a player and particularly as one of the transition guys who led to K's ongoing success.

Suicide is a horrendous thing. Unfortunately, it's also not an uncommon event (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicides), and it afflicts even people who seem to be doing well.

I hope his family and friends find comfort, but it's rough.

[KandG]

Wow, I remember Tommy as a "bridge player" to the first great Coach K teams. He and Chip Engelland bore an almost unfair burden as the guys who were solid but (perceived by many fans) not quite good enough to enable Duke to compete at the highest level of the ACC.

But I also have fond memories of Emma playing his heart out at Cameron many times, and I had a class with him (though didn't know him personally). I can actually picture him now lifting up for his jumpshot from the right baseline. When I just heard the news from Bilas' twitter feed and then came here to get the details, it was a gut punch.

All the peace and best wishes to his family for what I'm sure is a difficult, difficult time. I wish it could have ended better for him.

[The Gordog]

I am shocked. Very sad news. Prayers for his family. I saw him play in Cameron when I was a teen. The guy was a competitor and I enjoyed watching him and Chip play.

I lost a close friend to suicide 2 years ago and it is just hard to accept when this choice is made and you are left to wonder why.

I got to see Tom play in my Freshman year when he was a Sr. I loved him as a player, and always heard good things about him from Henderson and Dawkins who were in the same dorm as I was. I met him only once and he was just so unpretentious and approachable.

I lost a friend and colleague this way and will never understand how it could happen. I will always wish I could have done something for her and will always be haunted by the hole it left for her poor family. I can forgive her and myself, but can not forget.

My prayers go out for his family and friends who knew him and loved him. I hope that in time they may find peace.

[khepps]

As a member of the class of 82, we remember the guys just after Dennard, Banks, Gminski and Spanarkel, and before Bilas, Henderson, Dawkins and Alarie. Being from LA, I was introduced to Chip Engelland by his high school basketball coach, who knew I was from a local high school. Chip became a good friend, and introduced me to the class of Mike Tissaw (straight from the Dennard school of partying), Allen Williams, and Tommy Emma. All great guys, genuine students, and they fought their hardest in those transition years before the class of 86 arrived. I always liked Tom, remember him as a great free throw shooter, Springsteen fan and regular guy. Tears came to my eyes when I turned on DBR this morning. What a shame. We will miss you.

[Reilly]

I'm sorry to learn the sad news.

I'm currently reading "Sophie's Choice" by William Styron (Duke '47). Eerily, yesterday, I read the following passage shortly before learning of Tom Emma's death.

Styron on the character Nathan: "He was ... brilliant on ... the theme of suicide, about which he seemed to possess a certain preoccupation, and which he touched on more than once ... The novel which he esteemed above all others, he said, was 'Madame Bovary', not alone because of its formal perfection but because of the resolution of the suicide motif; Emma's death by self-poisoning seeming to be so beautifully inevitable as to become one of the supreme emblems, in Western literature, of the human condition."

There's a lot of Styron's actual personal history in "Sophie's Choice", and Styron's first novel ("Lie Down in Darkness") concerned a young woman who commits suicide. Earlier in "Sophie's Choice" before the passage quoted above, Styron has his alter ego (Stingo) come undone when he learns of yet another young woman who he knew at home in Virginia, who commits suicide by jumping from a building in NYC.

Styron suffered from depression, and wrote "Darkness Visible" about his experiences including, I think, when he almost took his own life. I haven't read "Darkness Visible", but given how Styron suffered, and how he's able to tackle and explain subjects, maybe it could give us some semblance of understanding of these matters.

[sagegrouse]

Styron suffered from depression, and wrote "Darkness Visible" about his experiences including, I think, when he almost took his own life. I haven't read "Darkness Visible", but given how Styron suffered, and how he's able to tackle and explain subjects, maybe it could give us some semblance of understanding of these matters.

I have read Styron's "Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness." We distributed copies after a suicide by an executive who suffered from depression.

Others will have a more informed opinion, but my two-sentence summary of the book is -- (a) After the suicide of famous people (Hemingway, Woolf, Rothko, and others), the comment is often heard, "how could he or she have given up, when there was so much to live for?" (b) In fact, depression is an overwhelming force that grabs a person and throws him or her down a dark hole without any ability to resist.

Styron attributed his cure to being hospitalized, where all the daily burdens and chores of life disappeared, and he and the medical staff could focus on illness and recovery. Two other famous Americans, who suffered from the illness and were his friends on Martha's Vineyard, were Art Buchwald (who died at age 81 of kidney failure) and television reporter Mike Wallace, who is now 93. They talked often and gave each other support.

sagegrouse

[markbdevil]

more on Tommy Emma from Jay Bilas:
http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/blog/_/name/bilas_jay/id/6644065/a-great-teammate-lost

[Verga3]

more on Tommy Emma from Jay Bilas:
http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/blog/_/name/bilas_jay/id/6644065/a-great-teammate-lost

Thanks so much for posting this link markbdevil. Still dabbing my eyes.

Thank you Jay Bilas...and prayers of comfort to you and your buddies, too. Hard to fathom, but you really honor Tom and give all of us an insight into the love and bonds that are present through all the life experiences and all the years.

[DevilWearsPrada]

more on Tommy Emma from Jay Bilas:
http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/blog/_/name/bilas_jay/id/6644065/a-great-teammate-lost

Thank you for posting the wonderful article that Jay Bilas penned. Jay has given us insight of how Tom was as a Senior Captain and Leader, a Teammate, a Big Brother to the freshman class players, and most important, as a dear friend. And for sharing such wonderful memories and stories from that year at Duke together.

Jay Bilas, thanks for writing such a wonderful and heartfelt tribute to Tom Emma.

[mitch84]

I'm class of 84, sitting tonight with my old Duke roommate and his wife, also a good friend from Duke, and we are still very upset about this. I'm a psychiatrist on LI, and wish he had just reached out to someone....such a loss, such a terrible sadness for what he must have been feeling. I wish he had reached out to Jay Bilas or K. I know they would have been there for him. Suicide is a short term solution concept that goes away when the person is shown other avenues of dealing with what appears to them insolvable problems at the time. I only met Tom Emma a couple of times, the last time was in NYC, when he told me how he was hooping it up at NYAC. That was a long time ago, shortly after we had graduated. He was just a nice guy, it was apparent. And I admired him for who he was. I wish I could have been there to help him, had he come our way on the island. He is the first player under K who has died, and so it is especially dramatic. I wish we had some info on his family so appropriate condolensces could be sent to them, to let them know that after all these years, us old Dukies remember, admire, and looked up to Tommy. DBR, please keep us updated. Thanks.

[Verga3]

Scott Yost of the Rhino Times in Greensboro has a very personal story and perspective (on the DBR homepage)about Tom. Thanks so much for sharing this with us, Scott....and reminding us of the "moments" that become a part of our life story.

http://greensboro.rhinotimes.com/Articles-c-2011-06-15-208686.112113-Yost-Looks-Back-On-One-Shining-Moment.html