airowe
11-16-2009, 10:46 PM
There's a poster on TDD that does some great recaps of Carolina games. He's given me permission to repost his recaps here as I think they're hilarious. Here's his recap of the Valpo game:
Defense Repels Crusaders Dome Attack!
Sixth-ranked Tar Heels Cruise To Victory Behind Senior Ginyard's Leadership
CHAPEL HILL, N.C. (OP)— In an example of superior focus and intensity, the North Carolina defense smothered the offensive juggernaut from Valparaiso en route to an 88-77 runaway victory on Sunday. The vaunted Tar Heel backcourt of senior Marcus Ginyard and sophomore Larry Drew II led the effort by holding their counterparts to a meager 10-16 shooting from 3 point range in a defensive display that brought the Smith Center audience to his feet. Ginyard, the probable national defensive player of the year, showed his versatility in the rout.
"Deuce and I had a little contest going," admitted Ginyard, referring to his backcourtmate Drew. The senior overcame a strong challenge from the underclassman by leading both teams in assists, a new NCAA record. Ginyard recorded 6 assists and 5 turnovers against Drew's 6 assists and only 4 turnovers. "They (Valpo) needed some help," added Drew. "Coach is always instructing us on sportsmanship." The two Tar Heel stars combined to set up score after score to bolster the sagging psyches of their opponents.
"It was really a sight to behold," said Tar Heel coach Roy Williams. "It was the type of defensive performance I've come to expect from my guards throughout the years. The thing I was most proud of was their unselfishness. I'll be darned if I've seen anything like it since I've been here."
The Williams era at North Carolina has been blessed with overachieving though ultimately one dimensional guards like Raymond Felton and Ty Lawson who only rarely shared the ball with opponents. Drew appears intent on breaking the mold of his predecessors. "I learned to share in kindergarten," said 'Deuce'. "I've been working on it every day since. Coach always says 'Hard Work' is the path to riches and he is right."
Incomparable Tar Heel scoring machine, John Henson, was the thankful recipient of his teammates' efforts. "They just pass it with such will and emotion. I'd heard that about players here. It was one reason I wanted to be a part of this team - aside from the exposure and chance to go pro early. Oh, and the defensive philosophy."
Henson, known as "the Condor" for his limitless wingspan and soon-to-be extinct amateur status, took those passes and continued to impress with 4 points, going 2-4 from the field, 0-2 from the line. Henson announced his intention to turn pro following his last game. Twin freshmen Travis and David Wear, in their third straight powerhouse performance, combined for a whopping 6 points and 3 rebounds. David Wear overcame a broken leg suffered last game against UNCC to aid in the cause. "The staff told everyone it was just a sprain. But my xray vision said otherwise. Unlike some players, a little fracture like that can't stop a true competitor like me."
"They have the best freshmen class I have ever seen," exclaimed Crusader head coach Homer Drew. "But the most disturbing thing was to see Larry out there shutting down Valpo. I stopped sending his Mom support checks and he took it out on us." Bryce Drew, an assistant on his father's staff, answered further inquiries about the relationship between the Drews. "It's not something we try to draw attention to," he said. "Valpo is in Indiana, after all."
Continuing a disturbing trend, Valparaiso cut into the Tar Heel lead via a substitution error by North Carolina head coach Roy Williams. Leading by 24 points late in the second half, Williams staggered up and down the sideline in front of his bench before shouting "Where's Tyler?". Misunderstanding their hall-of-fame coach, twins David and Travis Wear checked into the game along with sophomore center Tyler Zeller. What resulted was a barrage of lucky tosses by Valpo guards that cut the deficit to 9. As Crusader guard Brandon McPherson stepped to the line to bring his team within 8, referee Carl Hess called a timely lane violation on a Valpo player to shift momentum. "Carl is a good official," Williams later said to reporters. "He wouldn't have called that if it wasn't justified. It was really an MVP type performance tonight on his part."
Valparaiso's Drew agreed. "Our guys just kept committing obvious and blatant fouls, over and over, fouling and fouling. If it wasn't for this officiating crew, a lot of our bench guys would never have seen the floor. I just want to pass along their thanks and the thanks of their families for the facetime. Those minutes will be cherished."
The officiating was not without controversy, however. UNC's Deon Thompson was called for a contact technical at one point for tickling Valpo player, Cameron Witt. Williams accepted blame, calling it a miscommunication in assistant coach Steve Robinson's scouting report. "The scouting notes indicated Witt was a soft, finesse player who could be distracted by light body contact. Apparently we were not specific enough with Deon." Thompson, a senior, was corrected following the foul call. "They told me to leave my massage oils in the lockerroom. I practiced all week for that, but sometimes you have to make in-game adjustments," said Thompson.
Valparaiso, in the midst of a seven game road trip to open the season, used a "Circus Zone" for most of the game, consisting of speedy midgets that momentarily caused difficulties for UNC. The strategy ultimately failed in the face of too much talent and pressure defense. "I just can't see them losing a game this season," said Drew. "I'd bet the farm on them repeating, if I hadn't lost it on the Phillies after game one. Their coaching adjustments are phenomenal. Roy has them prepared for anything."
The postgame news conference featured another breakthrough in collegiate basketball, one that may have far-reaching effects on other sports. In another coaching innovation for UNC, Roy Williams instituted a 5 second question rule on postgame reporters. "I can leave in a heartbeat, so ask 'em fast!" said Williams. "I hate to be so rude, but you guys just bug the bejesus out of me. You've gotta value the dadgum questions... and the answers too. You can't just write like chickens with your heads cut off." This incredible example of coaching wisdom is sure to go down in history alongside other Carolina innovations such as the Four Corners, The Finger Point (acknowledgement of an assist by the scoring player), the Blue team mass substitution, Breakdancing, and Assistant Coaches' Car Leasing program.
Defense Repels Crusaders Dome Attack!
Sixth-ranked Tar Heels Cruise To Victory Behind Senior Ginyard's Leadership
CHAPEL HILL, N.C. (OP)— In an example of superior focus and intensity, the North Carolina defense smothered the offensive juggernaut from Valparaiso en route to an 88-77 runaway victory on Sunday. The vaunted Tar Heel backcourt of senior Marcus Ginyard and sophomore Larry Drew II led the effort by holding their counterparts to a meager 10-16 shooting from 3 point range in a defensive display that brought the Smith Center audience to his feet. Ginyard, the probable national defensive player of the year, showed his versatility in the rout.
"Deuce and I had a little contest going," admitted Ginyard, referring to his backcourtmate Drew. The senior overcame a strong challenge from the underclassman by leading both teams in assists, a new NCAA record. Ginyard recorded 6 assists and 5 turnovers against Drew's 6 assists and only 4 turnovers. "They (Valpo) needed some help," added Drew. "Coach is always instructing us on sportsmanship." The two Tar Heel stars combined to set up score after score to bolster the sagging psyches of their opponents.
"It was really a sight to behold," said Tar Heel coach Roy Williams. "It was the type of defensive performance I've come to expect from my guards throughout the years. The thing I was most proud of was their unselfishness. I'll be darned if I've seen anything like it since I've been here."
The Williams era at North Carolina has been blessed with overachieving though ultimately one dimensional guards like Raymond Felton and Ty Lawson who only rarely shared the ball with opponents. Drew appears intent on breaking the mold of his predecessors. "I learned to share in kindergarten," said 'Deuce'. "I've been working on it every day since. Coach always says 'Hard Work' is the path to riches and he is right."
Incomparable Tar Heel scoring machine, John Henson, was the thankful recipient of his teammates' efforts. "They just pass it with such will and emotion. I'd heard that about players here. It was one reason I wanted to be a part of this team - aside from the exposure and chance to go pro early. Oh, and the defensive philosophy."
Henson, known as "the Condor" for his limitless wingspan and soon-to-be extinct amateur status, took those passes and continued to impress with 4 points, going 2-4 from the field, 0-2 from the line. Henson announced his intention to turn pro following his last game. Twin freshmen Travis and David Wear, in their third straight powerhouse performance, combined for a whopping 6 points and 3 rebounds. David Wear overcame a broken leg suffered last game against UNCC to aid in the cause. "The staff told everyone it was just a sprain. But my xray vision said otherwise. Unlike some players, a little fracture like that can't stop a true competitor like me."
"They have the best freshmen class I have ever seen," exclaimed Crusader head coach Homer Drew. "But the most disturbing thing was to see Larry out there shutting down Valpo. I stopped sending his Mom support checks and he took it out on us." Bryce Drew, an assistant on his father's staff, answered further inquiries about the relationship between the Drews. "It's not something we try to draw attention to," he said. "Valpo is in Indiana, after all."
Continuing a disturbing trend, Valparaiso cut into the Tar Heel lead via a substitution error by North Carolina head coach Roy Williams. Leading by 24 points late in the second half, Williams staggered up and down the sideline in front of his bench before shouting "Where's Tyler?". Misunderstanding their hall-of-fame coach, twins David and Travis Wear checked into the game along with sophomore center Tyler Zeller. What resulted was a barrage of lucky tosses by Valpo guards that cut the deficit to 9. As Crusader guard Brandon McPherson stepped to the line to bring his team within 8, referee Carl Hess called a timely lane violation on a Valpo player to shift momentum. "Carl is a good official," Williams later said to reporters. "He wouldn't have called that if it wasn't justified. It was really an MVP type performance tonight on his part."
Valparaiso's Drew agreed. "Our guys just kept committing obvious and blatant fouls, over and over, fouling and fouling. If it wasn't for this officiating crew, a lot of our bench guys would never have seen the floor. I just want to pass along their thanks and the thanks of their families for the facetime. Those minutes will be cherished."
The officiating was not without controversy, however. UNC's Deon Thompson was called for a contact technical at one point for tickling Valpo player, Cameron Witt. Williams accepted blame, calling it a miscommunication in assistant coach Steve Robinson's scouting report. "The scouting notes indicated Witt was a soft, finesse player who could be distracted by light body contact. Apparently we were not specific enough with Deon." Thompson, a senior, was corrected following the foul call. "They told me to leave my massage oils in the lockerroom. I practiced all week for that, but sometimes you have to make in-game adjustments," said Thompson.
Valparaiso, in the midst of a seven game road trip to open the season, used a "Circus Zone" for most of the game, consisting of speedy midgets that momentarily caused difficulties for UNC. The strategy ultimately failed in the face of too much talent and pressure defense. "I just can't see them losing a game this season," said Drew. "I'd bet the farm on them repeating, if I hadn't lost it on the Phillies after game one. Their coaching adjustments are phenomenal. Roy has them prepared for anything."
The postgame news conference featured another breakthrough in collegiate basketball, one that may have far-reaching effects on other sports. In another coaching innovation for UNC, Roy Williams instituted a 5 second question rule on postgame reporters. "I can leave in a heartbeat, so ask 'em fast!" said Williams. "I hate to be so rude, but you guys just bug the bejesus out of me. You've gotta value the dadgum questions... and the answers too. You can't just write like chickens with your heads cut off." This incredible example of coaching wisdom is sure to go down in history alongside other Carolina innovations such as the Four Corners, The Finger Point (acknowledgement of an assist by the scoring player), the Blue team mass substitution, Breakdancing, and Assistant Coaches' Car Leasing program.