Why I won't buy Bill Simmons's basketball book

[Bostondevil]

I like and read Bill Simmons's column. I find him an often very insightful guy who can be both funny and moving. But, he hates me. He has said so in his column many times. You see, he doesn't just hate Duke basketball, he hates Duke alumni. I bought both the hardcover and the paper back version of Now I Can Die in Peace but, since he hates me so much and quite frankly, won't shut up about it, I've decided I really can't justify giving him any more of my money. I might read the book but, since I firmly believe there will be at least one and probably several digs on Duke in it, I might not. Either way, there is no way I'm buying it.

[Duvall]

I also will not buy Simmons' book. Not because he hates Duke alums - because, let's face it, we're pretty hateable - but because his schtick got old about ten years ago and became intolerable about five years ago.

[weezie]

I will not buy his stupid new book either. I think I'll just send a contribution to the the Emily K foundation instead and make sure the money goes somewhere to help kids instead of feeding Simmon's sorry behind.

[rthomas]

I've never heard of Bill Simmons so I'll be damned if I'll buy or read his book.

[hurleyfor3]

I also will not buy Simmons' book. Not because he hates Duke alums - because, let's face it, we're pretty hateable - but because his schtick got old about ten years ago and became intolerable about five years ago.

I'd say EXACTLY five years ago, considering what was transpiring in Boston sports at the time. (He was actually pro-Duke during the 2004 Final Four, too.)

[Cavlaw]

Who is Bill Simmons?

[throatybeard]

I also will not buy Simmons' book. Not because he hates Duke alums - because, let's face it, we're pretty hateable - but because his schtick got old about ten years ago and became intolerable about five years ago.

Exactly. He's not funny. But he thinks he's the funniest guy who ever lived.

I'd hate us too if I weren't us.

[Mike Corey]

Who is Bill Simmons?

Bill Simmons is a blogger-turned-columnist for ESPN.com who is prolific, and values first-person expositions rooted in purportedly humorous phrasing.

He is obsessed with Boston athletics, and never met an insult he didn't like. He's kind of the Howard Stern of sportswriting.

[WillJ]

I e-mailed Simmons asking whether he hated Duke because he got rejected by BC and had to go to Holy Cross. No shame there, but it seems to still bother him.

[juise]

I understand being offended that Bill shares the opinion of GQ magazine about Duke. I think it's an unfortunate stereotype and clearly has something to with the fact that Duke was so dominant around the time that he was in college. The college years are a time when people develop passionate feelings.

I went the opposite way of Bill. I cheered for UCon(n) in the 1999 Final Four (sickening, I know), visited Duke that summer, and matriculated the next fall. Obviously, my feeling changed quite a bit... especially after attending the 2004 Final Four and being repeatedly harassed by Husky fans in "Duck Fuke" shirts.

Anyway, I enjoy Bill Simmons' work. I understand that it may get tiresome for many, but his podcast helps get me through the work week. Sure, he's pretty self-involved. The podcast is about 50% a weekly or bi-weekly call to his college buddies. It's about sports. It's funny. He barely talks college hoops , but he talks a ton of NFL (with a few pretty knowledgeable regular guests) and NBA. He talks pop culture, which is at least entertaining. I dig it.

Having said that, I don't think I could read 700 pages of his work. I prefer the spoken to the written, so my brain only has to partially engage.

[Matches]

I never miss his column. It's almost always enjoyable. Shame he's a Duke-hater, but some of his digs have been funny.

I've never been motivated to get one of his books, though. He's got 1-2 columns up for free every week; I get enough there.

[Bostondevil]

The Boston in Bostondevil is in tribute to the Boston Red Sox, my other sports love. I may live up here in Massachusetts but I'm a born in Duke Hospital, Cameron raised, true Blue Devil from birth. Still, there is that Boston love and I found Bill Simmons the day after Aaron Boone's home run when I went online looking for someone who shared my pain. I've been reading him fairly regularly ever since. But he's ragged on Duke students/alumni just one time too many for me to buy a book about basketball that's written by him, nevermind that digs on Duke turn up all year in columns about any and all other sports (including his latest mailbag). We're his go to whipping boys. And it's not the team he enjoys ripping, it's us. Well, us and Coach K.

He's also quite the misogynist but sadly, he's not alone in that as a sports personality. I chalk a lot of that up to 'boys being boys trying to make other boys laugh'. Luckily, men almost never intrude on girl stuff to find out what we say about you when we think no guys are listening. ;) We're right though, you aren't listening.

[Turk]

Well, I guess I am in the minority here, but I will buy his hoops book.

I'm not from Boston, so I had no interest in the Sox book. But I understand and admire his loyalty to his teams, and I am as passionate about my Steelers, Penguins, and (dear God please help me) even the pitiful Pirates. Growing up in the pre-cable era, southwestern PA was a basketball wasteland. In my neighborhood, kids generally chose from the Celts, Sixers, Lakers, or Knicks for their favorite team, since they were the only ones on TV. I adopted the Havlicek / Cowens / JoJo White Celtics of the mid 70's, and I was a huge Bird fan too. So it's likely I am more predisposed toward liking Simmons than if I had grown up a Laker fan.

That said, I think Simmons is a funny writer, and he knows and loves the game. I find his assessments of teams and players to be more accurate than most other writers, and usually prove to be correct more often than not. I find his jokes and wisecracks to be funny more often than not. I also have to respect someone who will pay his own money for LA Clippers season tix to watch the pros play in person. He has also written about other hoops books, like Breaks of the Game, Seven Seconds or Less, or the recent Maravich biographies. I think the man can be serious and analytical when he needs to be, and I am looking forward to reading the book.

His rare and random potshots at Duke don't bother me in the least, and I think some of us around here need to dial down the persecution complex a little bit. Calling him a "misogynist" seems harsh, too. Granted, he sometimes writes about hooking up and boob jobs and hot actresses, but I think "boorish" is the better word choice there. IMHO, the more valid criticism is that he writes almost exclusively about the NBA, except in March when the tournament rolls around.

[Bostondevil]

Turk, perhaps misogynist is too strong, perhaps, but, just for fun, pretend to be a woman reading his columns sometimes. Or check out the mailbags, he only puts questions from women in there if he can make disparaging and/or insulting remarks or they talk about sex. Or read what he says about marriage, or softball players, or how about the column when he said no woman should ever be allowed to watch sports with men. And yet I read him. But sometimes I'm ashamed of myself afterwards.

Believe it or not, I made a mailbag once. It wasn't about sex so, yes, he insulted me. It wasn't that bad, he only insulted my taste in movies because I defended John C. Reilly's movie career - the ones that aren't Boogie Nights or Talladega Nights.

I wouldn't mind the Duke comments so much if he limited them to basketball season or to analysis of sports but he doesn't. He goes after you and me. Duke hate I can accept. Constant criticisms of the students and alumni has gone too far IMHO. We are no more elitist or preppy or rich or arrogant than the TarHeel fan base and I'm tired of hearing that we are.

[DevilCastDownfromDurham]

IMHO, the more valid criticism is that he writes almost exclusively about the NBA, except in March when the tournament rolls around.

I guess I'd argue this is his main strength. He's always comically uninformed about college basketball so when he does bother to tune in what he says is usually not just wrong but really, really uniformed. When he does stick to what he knows (NBA, Karate Kid references) I think he's pretty solid as long as you take him for what he is: an opinion/entertainment writer.

Some of his jokes fall flat, and he falls back on lazy/rehashed bits a lot (including Duke as Zabka junk) but he really knows NBA numbers in a way that many writers clearly do not and his conversations with Stein, Bucher, etc. are usually informative. He's also done a great job of bringing in interesting entertainment people on the podcasts including Jon Hamm, Matt Stone, Bill Hader, and Seth Meyers. As others have said, he makes the work week a bit more entertaining and that's all I need him to do. If the book has good reviews I'll probably pick it up.

[WeepingThomasHill]

I'll be lining up to buy his book next week (DC signing next Monday, folks, at the ESPN Zone at 11:30 pm). I love his writing and have been a fan for years. He combines hard core sports analysis with pop culture and 80s references. I really never considered him a misoygnist. He writes frequently about his wife and kids - I would think any sports fan parent on here could relate. Liked the movie The Hangover? Then you will enjoy his Vegas stories. His NFL and NBA coverage are superb. Who cares if he rips on Duke? He is not writing for the Herald Sun. I think his suggestion that every team have a Vice President of Common Sense to run through trades and other roster moves is brilliant, and I wish my teams did that.

If you don't like funny stories about having kids, movie references, 90210, Shawshank Redemption and Vegas with your sports, you should find another writer. He's not David Halberstam, and does not pretend to be.

[Bostondevil]

He's not David Halberstam, and does not pretend to be.

But I think he wishes he were.

All right, buy the book, stand in the long line, get it signed, and let us know if he does indeed make snarky comments about Duke. If it's not too bad, maybe I'll borrow someone else's copy and read it. Thing is, I'm sure it's an NBA book and I'll never care as much about the NBA as I do about the college game. So, bottomline, it's not a subject matter that interests me like the Red Sox book did.

I don't mind the funny stories, but I've had enough about Vegas. When he starts on yet another analysis of Vegas, I skip the column. The first 20 were enough.

Oh, and if you like pop culture references and a snarky attitude, you shoud read my LOST thread. (Yeah, yeah, let me know if my ego has gotten too big, folks who read the thread.)

[Turk]

BD, thanks for the perspective on the mailbags. I will go back and re-read one or two with your comments in mind. His Vegas stories don't do much for me either, and I'd forgotten about how monotonous he gets about trashing the WNBA - enough already...

Coincidentally enough, the Worldwide Leader is posting book excerpts this week, so anyone can go and make up his / her own mind for free.

And as far as curing his anti-Duke bias, Jay Bilas should pull some strings at ESPN, invite him to Cameron for a game, and show him a good time. (just NOT a Duke-Holes game - too many non-Duke celebs in the house as it is - that's becoming a major peeve of mine...)

[Olympic Fan]

Turk, perhaps misogynist is too strong, perhaps, but, just for fun, pretend to be a woman reading his columns sometimes. Or check out the mailbags, he only puts questions from women in there if he can make disparaging and/or insulting remarks or they talk about sex. Or read what he says about marriage, or softball players, or how about the column when he said no woman should ever be allowed to watch sports with men. And yet I read him. But sometimes I'm ashamed of myself afterwards.

Believe it or not, I made a mailbag once. It wasn't about sex so, yes, he insulted me. It wasn't that bad, he only insulted my taste in movies because I defended John C. Reilly's movie career - the ones that aren't Boogie Nights or Talladega Nights.


I don't think misogynist is too strong.

I read Simmons back when he was the "Boston Sports Guy" before he hooked up with ESPN. Back then, his best annual column was "Rating the Wimbledon Babes" -- a column that basically rated female tennis stars according to their sexual attractiveness.

I wish I could find an old copy ... one (printable) item I remembered was his suggestion that Anna Kournikova was even hotter than she looks because she had to know all the KGB sex tricks.

As a Yankee fan, I love to read him every time the Yanks (or the Giants in the 2008 Super Bowl) rip his heart out. When its the other way around (the 2004 ALCS) I lay off his rant for a few months.

Basically, all you need to know about Simmons' comic talents is that he worked as a writer for Jimmy Kimmel's late-night talk show.

And PS Bostondevil, you LIKED John Reilly in "For the Love of the Game"?

[Duvall]

I'll be lining up to buy his book next week (DC signing next Monday, folks, at the ESPN Zone at 11:30 pm). I love his writing and have been a fan for years. He combines hard core sports analysis with pop culture and 80s references.

Unfortunately, those are the same pop culture and 80's references he used in the 90's, and the 00's, and will apparently be using well into the 10's.

Still, tastes vary.


If you don't like funny stories about having kids, movie references, 90210, Shawshank Redemption and Vegas with your sports, you should find another writer. .

...wait, he's still going on about Shawshank? It wasn't even that great a movie! I take it back, Simmons is terrible.

DC book-burning next Monday at the ESPN Zone at 12 noon!

[Bostondevil]

And PS Bostondevil, you LIKED John Reilly in "For the Love of the Game"?

Very funny. No really, that's funny. Truth be told, I didn't see For Love of the Game. I did like him in Hard 8, Criminal, Magnolia, The Anniversary Party, The Perfect Storm, and shoot, I'll even throw in Chicago. The guy is very funny but he can also, you know, act. Unlike Will Ferrell who is also very funny but at the end of the day, can he carry a movie? He's much better in supporting roles, Old School, then in something like Semi-Pro, don't ya think? Yeah, yeah, OK, Anchorman, but that's got Paul Rudd and you know he brought something extra to the set everyday. Anyway, the pairing of an acting comedian (Ferrell) with a comic actor (Reilly) ought to be brilliant, right? But then you have Step Brothers, so, not always.

Come to think of it, Paul Rudd and Will Ferrell ought to team up again, maybe in a threesome with John C.

[rthomas]

I'll be lining up to buy his book next week (DC signing next Monday, folks, at the ESPN Zone at 11:30 pm). I love his writing and have been a fan for years. He combines hard core sports analysis with pop culture and 80s references. I really never considered him a misoygnist. He writes frequently about his wife and kids - I would think any sports fan parent on here could relate. Liked the movie The Hangover? Then you will enjoy his Vegas stories. His NFL and NBA coverage are superb. Who cares if he rips on Duke? He is not writing for the Herald Sun. I think his suggestion that every team have a Vice President of Common Sense to run through trades and other roster moves is brilliant, and I wish my teams did that.

If you don't like funny stories about having kids, movie references, 90210, Shawshank Redemption and Vegas with your sports, you should find another writer. He's not David Halberstam, and does not pretend to be.

Are you really Bill Simmons? or just a stalker?

[cato]

Are you really Bill Simmons? or just a stalker?

He can't be Bill Simmons. I hadn't read that post before.

[RainingThrees]

For a time I could not stand Bill Simmons because he not only hated Duke Basketball but also hated soccer calling it a sissy-sport that only little kids play so their parents can get rid of them blah blah blah. But over this year he has finally actually watched soccer and has discovered he likes it and he has even picked a favorite team. I do read his column now and he is pretty funny when he is not ragging on Duke.

[UrinalCake]

I also enjoy him in small doses, thus I'll continue reading his columns but pass on his book. He does bag on Duke, but it's only occasional as college basketball isn't really his forte, which he openly admits. And I'm not going to stop reading someone just because they don't support my teams - that would make for a pretty limited view of the world, IMO.

His NBA draft diaries are a favorite of mine, along with his relections on growing older and having a family. Of course, his perspective is not very common as most guys with children aren't able to spend six hours a day in front of a TV.

[throatybeard]

Simmons was just on PTI, and he sounded like a decent, thoughtful human being. After witnessing so many years of witnessing his online shtick, the cognitive dissonance made my head explode.

[Turk]

Anybody feel like commenting on the book excerpts over on the Mother Ship? Bill Walton was the first player I ever idolized as a kid. I wonder if his career would have been any different if he entered the league today, where he could benefit from all the advances in medical technology, footwear, conditioning, etc.

[juise]

In the latest Simmons podcast, he makes another Duke joke. He's discussing his impression that Mark Teixeira was way too excited about the Yankees going ahead in the 9th inning of game 4 and says that "he was jumping around like a 12th man on Duke."

I am proud that Duke's bench feels like they are as big a part of the team as the players on the floor. It would have been even better if he had said that Teixeira was "jumping around like a Cameron Crazy." I wasn't offended. :)

[weezie]

Simmons was just on PTI, and he sounded like a decent, thoughtful human being. After witnessing so many years of witnessing his online shtick, the cognitive dissonance made my head explode.

I saw it too. Maybe he thought he was auditioning for future seat on the show.

He's got quite the "mouth" in print interviews. He'd never make it past the filters here :)

[Billy Dat]

If you are an NBA fan, you should buy the book. It barely touches the college game, but is great in what it sets out to do.

As for Simmons and Duke, he is a hater...plain and simple. He's offered a lot of reasons why he hates Duke, but none are going to sound acceptable to a Duke fan.

I love Simmons, especially his podcasts, which is saying something because he hates every team I love...Duke, the Yankees, the Giants and the Knicks. Much of that is a NY/Boston thing, but the Duke part is like lemon squirting in a paper cut. When I hear or read him bashing Duke, I generally let loose with a string of curses and then feel better.

[Devilnole]

I agree BS has largely "jumped the shark." He was for a time hilarious as evidenced by the below running commentary he did on the 2002 National Spelling Bee:

http://proxy.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/020531

[duke23]

Anybody else notice the Duke football connection? Check out 1:10 PM.


I agree BS has largely "jumped the shark." He was for a time hilarious as evidenced by the below running commentary he did on the 2002 National Spelling Bee:

http://proxy.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/020531

[Devilnole]

Anybody else notice the Duke football connection? Check out 1:10 PM.

Should be about the same age. I assume it is our guy's brother.

[juise]

Should be about the same age. I assume it is our guy's brother.

He's the older brother of Ayanga, and he was "our guy" for a while there.

Link (http://duke.scout.com/2/797921.html)

[NSDukeFan]

If you are an NBA fan, you should buy the book. It barely touches the college game, but is great in what it sets out to do.

As for Simmons and Duke, he is a hater...plain and simple. He's offered a lot of reasons why he hates Duke, but none are going to sound acceptable to a Duke fan.

I love Simmons, especially his podcasts, which is saying something because he hates every team I love...Duke, the Yankees, the Giants and the Knicks. Much of that is a NY/Boston thing, but the Duke part is like lemon squirting in a paper cut. When I hear or read him bashing Duke, I generally let loose with a string of curses and then feel better.

I am also a fan of Bill Simmons. I have thought about getting his book as I do find him insightful regarding the NBA and read all his articles related to pro ball. The teasers he has had lately did their job for me, as I am very curious about his ranking of the best players ever with Pat Ewing at 39. I find his ranking of MVP candidates (he ranks all the players in the league, and lists a lot of them with comments) great reading. I have also been impressed that he has started appreciating soccer. I would also agree that he can be sexist and inappropriate as well.

[DevilAlumna]

Very funny. No really, that's funny. Truth be told, I didn't see For Love of the Game.


For Love of the Game is my third-favorite baseball movie starring Kevin Costner! ;) Joking aside, it is a good flick, and John C takes his usual good turn as well.

[pfrduke]

He's the older brother of Ayanga, and he was "our guy" for a while there.

Link (http://duke.scout.com/2/797921.html)

Wow. If you had put the over/under of "former National Spelling Bee participants who go on to become Division I-A (FBS) football players" at 1, I would absolutely have taken the under.

[NashvilleDevil]

Simmons had a Reggie Love comment in his column today:

"The bad news from our White House visit: We missed Obama by 15 minutes. The good news: We met Reggie Love, who has arguably replaced Charles Oakley as the world's single coolest sidekick. I left a book behind for Obama and signed it like this: "DEAR POTUS, PLEASE DON'T READ THIS UNTIL 2017." Because, if he does, we're all in trouble. It's 700 pages. I'd rather he figured out health care first."

I'm sure Simmons knows Reggie is a Duke grad but didn't want to mention that he actually likes a guy who has a Duke connection.

[bdh21]

On page 158 of the book, as he's complaining about his terrible decision to go to college in icy Boston, he actually writes: "High Schoolers, go west or south: Duke, Virginia, Vanderbilt..." Duke is the first college out of his pen and you call him a hater? He's more like a Duke ribber which, considering his shtick, isn't all that bad a thing.