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killerleft
04-18-2007, 08:28 AM
Does anybody else have trouble, when watching English Premier League telecasts, keeping Monty Python moments from popping into your head? Sometimes I start laughing and thinking of the Idiot Race, for instance.

captmojo
04-18-2007, 08:37 AM
I once saw a gliding footballer, never really flyin'.

wilson
04-18-2007, 08:58 AM
This thread is silly. I fart in its general direction.

killerleft
04-18-2007, 11:02 AM
Albatross! Peter Crouch.

snowdenscold
04-18-2007, 02:12 PM
Sorry for totally hijacking this - but there's a scene from the movie (my favorite scene, btw) that should be taught in every Civics/History/Govt. class (whether talking about Rousseau and the enlightenment or just our govt. in general)
-------------

King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.

Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away.
------------

Amuses me every time... :D

captmojo
04-18-2007, 02:47 PM
The funniest scene for me in the complete history of motion pictures has got to be the witch trial in "holy grail". Especially at the end when Bedevere looks at Arthur and asks "Who are you that are so wise in the ways of science?"

JasonEvans
04-18-2007, 04:49 PM
"Blue... No, red... ahhhhhhh!"

Get this, some guy programmed a computer to ask people the swallow question as they logged into a system. It is just a random question thrown in the midst of "what is your name" and stuff like that. Amazingly, a huge percentage of people knew exactly what he was talking about.

Go to this link to see all the responses-- some of them quite amusing.
http://www.armory.com/swallow.html

-Jason "I love that some idiots put 'American or European?' duuuuh!" Evans

killerleft
04-18-2007, 06:44 PM
"This new learning amazes me. Tell me again how sheep bladders can be employed to prevent earthquakes."

JBDuke
04-18-2007, 07:09 PM
"We are but five score blondes and brunettes, all between the ages of fifteen and nineteen-and-a-half..."

JBDuke
04-18-2007, 07:21 PM
Yes! How about "Upperclass Twit of the Year" or "The Philosophers' Football Match"?? Great stuff!!

"He has no sensory apparatus whatsoever!"

captmojo
04-18-2007, 07:33 PM
......and if you told that to the kids of today.......they wouldn't believe you

JasonEvans
04-18-2007, 09:05 PM
Yes! How about "Upperclass Twit of the Year" or "The Philosophers' Football Match"?? Great stuff!!



Philosopher's Football is such a wonderful idea for a sketch. Every time you think they've gone as far as they can, they try something else brilliant.

http://www.videosift.com/story.php?id=4257

--Jason "... and Marx is arguing that he was offsides" Evans

killerleft
04-18-2007, 09:12 PM
Coconuts, one of the best props ever. "So?"

Deslok
04-18-2007, 10:04 PM
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...


When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled...

Lavabe
04-18-2007, 10:23 PM
Albatross! Peter Crouch.

Peter Crouch IS the Minister of Silly Walks.

But why are so many of Britain's top players talking about the Yangtze?

Cheers,
Lavabe

JBDuke
04-18-2007, 11:02 PM
Philosopher's Football is such a wonderful idea for a sketch. Every time you think they've gone as far as they can, they try something else brilliant.

http://www.videosift.com/story.php?id=4257

--Jason "... and Marx is arguing that he was offsides" Evans

And then there's the Philosopher's Song:


Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whisky every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And René Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed.

Exiled_Devil
04-18-2007, 11:48 PM
And then there's the Philosopher's Song:


Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whisky every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And René Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed.

For some reason that most likely has to do with memorizing "live at the Hollywood bowl" my best friend in high school and I would challenge each other to speed-singing this song. I can still get it under 30 seconds.

And the Bruces remind me of one of my litmus jokes:
American beer is like making love in canoe.

I figure if someone knows what that means, they have to be good people.

Tangentially, how great are the games rebroadcast with a fan from each side announcing? I want ESPN to drop Vitale and try that for a season.

Exiled

killerleft
04-19-2007, 07:58 AM
I don't know if I could take a Duke vs. Carolina fan doing those telecasts live. But as they are done at FSC it might be a blast!

captmojo
04-19-2007, 09:20 AM
----Always look at the bright side of life----

Olympic Fan
04-20-2007, 11:32 AM
... just a wafer thin mint?

... she turned me into a Newt ... I got better

... the Knights who say 'Ni'

... Spam!

... only the true Messiah denies his divinity

... bring out your dead!

as great as the Python stuff was, anybody else remember John Cleese's 12-episode BBC sitcom "Fawlty Towers"? ... absolute perfection

DevilAlumna
04-20-2007, 12:48 PM
Whole crowd: Yes, we are all individuals!

Lone guy: I'm not.

Windsor
04-20-2007, 12:53 PM
Three is the number of the counting, and the number of the counting shall be three!

Windsor

rsvman
04-21-2007, 09:37 AM
"I told 'im we've already got one."

captmojo
04-21-2007, 01:36 PM
"Fawlty Towers" is available on dvd but hold on tight to tour wallet.

killerleft
04-23-2007, 09:13 AM
The polite applause after "Tim" the Magician shows his ability to create explosions on distant hilltops. Priceless. Tim, indeed!

JasonEvans
04-23-2007, 09:17 AM
"Look at the bones!!!"

"Right, rabbit stew coming up..."

That entire scene is beyond brilliant. Especially when they use an obviously cheap, stufed rabbit to attack all the knights and behead everyone. And then the Holy Handgrenade... I mean who thinks of stuff like that?!?!?!

-Jason "this thread could get long!" Evans

Exiled_Devil
04-23-2007, 01:48 PM
ALBATROS!! Get your ALBATROS here!

I may be one of the few people who knows Live at the Hollywood bowl better than Hoy Grail.

Exiled

rsvman
04-23-2007, 04:35 PM
Man, yelling through window of apartment that is completely filled with water: "Is this Lake Pahoe?"

Woman, inside said apartment: "I don't know about THAT, but it's bleeding damp."

captmojo
04-23-2007, 06:42 PM
"Sure it may be spelled 'Raymond Luxury Yahc-t' but it's pronounced 'Throatwarbler Mangrove!'"