Annoying and Amusing Celebrity Baby Names [Archive]

CathyCA

08-21-2008, 10:30 PM

I'm intermittently amused and dismayed at the names celebs saddle their children with. I don't know if they think they are being clever or creative but I suspect what they are really saying is, "We're so rich and beautiful we could name our child Doggie Poo and you'd still think we are amazing."

Let's start a list of names that annoy and amuse us.

Some are too obviously awful but the list won't be complete without them:

Apple Martin (What was Gwen thinking, and can't Chris say no to her on anything?)

Shiloh Nouvel Pitt (Uh, Angelina, Shiloh is a name of a place, not a name of a kid. And Nouvel? Were you referring to some New Year's celebration you had with Brad? So weird.)

Scout Willis (Demi and Bruce, Scout is a dog name. And what's up with Rumer and Tallulah?)

Your turn. . .

billybreen

08-21-2008, 10:46 PM

Scout Willis (Demi and Bruce, Scout is a dog name. And what's up with Rumer and Tallulah?)

I always hoped 'Scout' was an homage to To Kill a Mockingbird.

hc5duke

08-21-2008, 11:35 PM

Fifi Trixibelle Geldof
Shanda Lear (daughter of LearJet founder)
Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee
Kal-El Cage

I'm sure I'm missing a bunch more, but these are some of the really bad ones I remember...

EarlJam

08-22-2008, 01:33 AM

Can we go back to Zappa? Didn't he name a kid, "Moon Unit?"

Far out.

-EJ

billybreen

08-22-2008, 01:40 AM

Can we go back to Zappa? Didn't he name a kid, "Moon Unit?"

Far out.

-EJ

Also, Dweezil.

DevilAlumna

08-22-2008, 02:07 AM

Heidi Klum & Seal have two boys:

Henry Günther Ademola Dashtu Samuel
and
Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo Samuel

That just seems like an excessive amount of names per child.

hc5duke

08-22-2008, 02:14 AM

Heidi Klum & Seal have two boys:

Henry Günther Ademola Dashtu Samuel
and
Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo Samuel

That just seems like an excessive amount of names per child.

Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peaches_Geldof)
I left this Geldof off my list... easily beats either of them. :D

captmojo

08-22-2008, 09:08 AM

While not a celebrity, a friend with the last name Case, named his firstborn son Justin.

DukieInKansas

08-22-2008, 09:53 AM

While not a celebrity, a friend with the last name Case, named his firstborn son Justin.

That is just plain mean. Do people not speak the names out loud before they name their kids?

Not a celebrity but my mother knew a family with the last name Doone. They named one of their daughters Lorna. There was supposedly another family named Lear who named their daugher Crystal Shanda. (I believe the first one - not so sure about the second.)

duke74

08-22-2008, 10:09 AM

Fifi Trixibelle Geldof
Shanda Lear (daughter of LearJet founder)
Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee
Kal-El Cage

I'm sure I'm missing a bunch more, but these are some of the really bad ones I remember...

Kal-el is a great name. Superman as a baby on the planet Krypton. In fact my dog's AKC name is Victorianne Kryptonite Chain Kal-el! (First two names provided by breeder)

colchar

08-22-2008, 10:18 AM

This has nothing to do with celebrities, just stupid parents - I'm not sure if it made the news here the way it did in Britain while I was there but a judge in New Zealand had taken a child into state custody so that her name could be legally changed against the parent's wishes. The child, who had been calling herself K, had been named Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.

Those parents should be shot (as should the parents who chose some of the other names as described in the stories linked below).

http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/world/So-would-you--name.4324464.jp

http://volokh.com/posts/1217543857.shtml

billybreen

08-22-2008, 10:30 AM

Kal-el is a great name. Superman as a baby on the planet Krypton. In fact my dog's AKC name is Victorianne Kryptonite Chain Kal-el! (First two names provided by breeder)

Oh, I get the reference. And, yes, it's a fine name for a dog. A human? Lame. :)

blublood

08-22-2008, 10:45 AM

Heidi Klum & Seal have two boys:

Henry Günther Ademola Dashtu Samuel
and
Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo Samuel

That just seems like an excessive amount of names per child.

Yeah, plus I will never, ever, ever wish anyone named "Ademola" well in their endeavors in life. :) I don't care if he grows up to be an astronaut or a Supreme Court justice.

ghost

08-22-2008, 11:04 AM

Not celebrity but there's a professor at Duke whose name is Warren Warren... I mean c'mon did they put ANY thought into it? That's almost as bad as George Foreman naming all of his kids George (I think his daughter is Gorgina or something)

TNTDevil

08-22-2008, 11:50 AM

I'm either dating myself here or, Frank Zappa doesn't qualify (to most) as a celebrity but, seriously...

Moon Unit and Dweezil?

Combined with Zappa?

TheRose77

08-22-2008, 12:45 PM

We named our second son Cameron Wade. Does this make me a bad mother?

Windsor

08-22-2008, 01:00 PM

For top to bottom weirdness, the entire Zappa clan:
Dweezil
Ahmet Emuukha Rodan
Moon Unit
Diva Muffin

John Cougar Mellencamp (you wouldn't expect normal from a guy who can't figure out his own name!)
Hud
Spec Wildhorse

David Bowie (blame on the drugs)
Duncan Zowie Heywood Jones

Jermaine Jackson (and you thought only Michael was wacko)
Jermajesty

Matt Lauer (isn't near famous enough to be this odd)
Thijs Lauer

and my personal favorites:

Penn Jillette (half of Penn and Teller) named his daughter:
Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette
and his son?
Zolten

DukieInKansas

08-22-2008, 01:03 PM

We named our second son Cameron Wade. Does this make me a bad mother?

Only if your last name is Stadium. ;)

hc5duke

08-22-2008, 01:19 PM

Only if your last name is Stadium. ;)

Good call. If her last name was Stadium, his middle name clearly should have been "Indoor", not Wade.

Bostondevil

08-22-2008, 01:44 PM

I knew a girl named Crystal Leer. She went by Christie. Everyone always said her middle name was Shanda. I never asked.

Will Ferrell's sons are named Magnus and Matius. I thought this was odd until I found out his wife is Swedish, as in from Sweden. Those are Swedish names so it seems less bizarre.

I do somehow think it's a good thing Prince never had children, at least as far as names go.

Nicole Kidman just named her daughter Sunday. She was born on a Tuesday.

Somebody, I think it might have been Jane Pauley, named her twin daughters Dustin and Gabrielle. Nothing really wrong with those names but they are twins and I just think those names do not go together. (Note I'm not saying I advocate Jimmy/Timmy or Susan/Sarah type twin names, but I do think they should sound good together.)

One son went to preschool with a set of brothers names Zeus and Gallileo. It's not only celebrities that have problems. Sometimes it's just living in Cambridge, Mass that does it.

hc5duke

08-22-2008, 02:05 PM

I do somehow think it's a good thing Prince never had children, at least as far as names go.

Reminds me of one of the U.S. T&F girls whose name is Queen, and has two sisters named Princess and Empress. That's just horrible.

We're naming our son (due in 2 months!) Alexander. I've been jokingly telling people that we're going by world conquerors, and that the next two will be named Napoleon and Ginghis. :D

blublood

08-22-2008, 02:13 PM

Yes, we have friends who named their child Boston. No real reason; they don't have family there; he's just Boston Brewer. We love these friends dearly, but it's like, what in the world were you thinking?? I can only assume he's going to go by Bo in future years.

Edit: although I will say that we have gotten some weird looks for our baby's name which is Emmet. But there was an actual reason for that and it is a real name, just not one in common circulation at the moment.

sue71, esq

08-22-2008, 02:45 PM

Matt Lauer (isn't near famous enough to be this odd)
Thijs Lauer

Matt Lauer's wife is Dutch, so perhaps that's where the name came from.

DukieInKansas

08-22-2008, 03:10 PM

Turk

08-22-2008, 03:49 PM

Mrs Turk says she went to high school with a girl named Candace Kane. Do the math... Triple ouchie...

BluDevilGal

08-22-2008, 07:19 PM

My friend went to church with a couple named Candy & Andy Apple.

In my work I've come across a girl named Londen England (yes, spelled wrong) and one named Temptress.

Indoor66

08-22-2008, 08:33 PM

I had three sister/neighbors named Faith, Hope and Charity.

hc5duke

08-22-2008, 08:35 PM

I had three sister/neighbors named Faith, Hope and Charity.

Please tell me they have three brothers named Sloth, Wrath, and Gluttony? :D

Indoor66

08-22-2008, 08:38 PM

Please tell me they have three brothers named Sloth, Wrath, and Gluttony? :D

Actually, there were two brothers who should have been named Jerk and Jerk II! :D

CathyCA

08-22-2008, 10:57 PM

I saw this online today. I think it shows exactly how topical this topic is. ;)

LOS ANGELES (AFP) — Pop diva Gwen Stefani and her British rock-star husband Gavin Rossdale welcomed their second child Thursday, a son, People magazine reported on its website.

The newborn's name is Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale, said the magazine, generally seen as a credible source on the lives of the rich and famous.

DevilAlumna

08-23-2008, 02:51 AM

I went to HS with a kid named Bliksem. It meant lightning (or thunder?) in Dutch, I believe. He had three other brothers, Bram, Bjorn, and Brooke (yeah, poor guy), plus a dog, Boomer.

Windsor

01-23-2009, 08:31 AM

OZZIE4DUKE

01-23-2009, 09:37 AM

I work at a health care company. One of the women who since near me deals with enrolling newborns of mother's who are members. Yesterday she called a new mom to get her babies name....this child is name
is pronounced Sha - theed...

it is spelled....well...the 'a' is an i and the second e is an a.

No joke. I could not possibley make this up.
Sometimes you just have to shake your head at how stupid people can be. Did no one tell this mother what she was doing to her son? Reminds me of the old Rodney Dangerfield (?) joke, where he says he thought his name was dumb*ss until he was 16, only this is worse. Much worse :D

kmspeaks

01-23-2009, 11:27 AM

How would you like to be one of these kids the first time the Holocaust is discussed in school?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090114/ap_on_re_us/hitler_cake

hc5duke

01-23-2009, 02:39 PM

I work at a health care company. One of the women who since near me deals with enrolling newborns of mother's who are members. Yesterday she called a new mom to get her babies name....this child is name
is pronounced Sha - theed...

it is spelled....well...the 'a' is an i and the second e is an a.

No joke. I could not possibley make this up.

A friend of a friend in high school had the same name, but it was actually spelled Sh(the letter I)thead

OZZIE4DUKE

01-23-2009, 02:55 PM

this child is name
is pronounced Sha - theed...

it is spelled....well...the 'a' is an i and the second e is an a.

No joke. I could not possibley make this up.

A friend of a friend in high school had the same name, but it was actually spelled Sh(the letter I)thead
I believe they both spelled the name the same.

Windsor

01-23-2009, 03:00 PM

We have another one in our database...the kids names is DNA. (the joke here is that the mom asked the dad what to name the baby and he said 'I want DNA' )

OZZIE4DUKE

01-23-2009, 03:00 PM

A friend of a friend in high school had the same name, but it was actually spelled Sh(the letter I)thead
Can you imagine what the Crazies, pre-Krzyzewski (because today he would stop it dead before the second verse came out of the student's mouths), would have done with this if he/they were opposing players? Pre-game, in game, while he shot FT's, to the cadence of "Air -- Ball!" complete with the arm motion pointing at the player. Wow!

hc5duke

01-23-2009, 03:29 PM

I believe they both spelled the name the same.

Ah, I didn't read the first post carefully enough :) failure

CarterTheGreat

01-23-2009, 04:03 PM

How would you like to be one of these kids the first time the Holocaust is discussed in school?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090114/ap_on_re_us/hitler_cake

The State is considering filing Child Endangerment/Abuse charges on the parents. I fully agree too. This guy has no right to perpetuate hate in the world and no matter his reasons, which I have read up on, that's all he is doing. Parents like these are the exact reason humans should have to obtain a license to procreate.

DukeUsul

01-23-2009, 04:11 PM

brianl

01-23-2009, 04:29 PM

One I always thought was funny.

Deion Saunder's kids, Deion and Deiondra.

Talk about being stuck on yourself!!

Windsor

01-23-2009, 04:47 PM

Stories like Windsor's always make me wonder. I can't tell you how many times I've heard people who have a friend of a friend who know someone who has a baby names "Sh(letter I)thead" or "LeMon Jelo." Are there really dozens of kids out there named "Sh(letter I)thead" or does everyone who recounts this story know the same person? I'm not trying impugn Windsor here, I'm wondering if her coworker is simply retelling a story that's part of the common folklore. I had to go to snopes to see what they say about it. You can read (http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.asp)for yourself.

ETA: some bad words in that link

I actually looked in our master database with a query on first name (because I am a skeptical soul) and I have seen with my own two eyes a valid entry properly processed bearing that first name with paid medical claims in our production data (now if it were in the test instance I would be VERY doubtful). The child in question has a much more normal middle name, I can only hope it was mom's idea of a bad joke and the child will be called by his middle name and by 'S. William Smith' the rest of his life (the middle and last names are not william smith...of course).

Had I not seen it myself I would be very doubtful as it is hard for any rational person to understand why a mother would do that.

BluDevilGal

01-23-2009, 06:27 PM

Processing applications for the Duke TIP program back in college, I saw a lot of unusual names, but I think the worst had to be a girl with the first name Temptress.

Windsor

01-23-2009, 09:04 PM

Just came back from teaching a dog class. I asked one my friends/students who is pediatrician if he had ever had a patient names sh(letter i)thead or similar. Indeed he as...as well as Oops, TedBundy, Hitler, and various profanitites. However....the little darlings don't actual keep these names. He tells me that in Florida (and as far as he knows other states) you have one year from the childs birth to change the birth certificate without court order or charge. 99% of the time the babies with the names have single Moms and there is a question of paternity AND the baby is always a boy. Apparently when Mom is in the hospital everyone is leaning on her to name the child...for whatever reason the childs last name is undetermined (father unknown/unwilling/unfindable). To shut up the masses she picks an off the wall name and that's what is registered. Why not just pick something normal? He thinks it is a combination of a)shock value b) believing that you need a reason to change a birth certificate after the fact and c)rebellion ('you want a name...fine..name this!'). Any truly objectionable name he's ever seen has been changed by the time the baby was one. For some reason no one seems to care what last name a girl ends up with, but for the boys it is a much bigger deal. Sh(letter i)thead Smith might very well end up as Sam Smith or Jacob Jones depending on a how acknowledgement/proof of paternity shakes out.

That at least makes some level of sense to me. I'll try to remember to keep checking our database to see if little Sha-heed gets a new and improved first name (guess I have to keep this job for another year now)

DukeUsul

01-23-2009, 09:52 PM

I actually looked in our master database with a query on first name (because I am a skeptical soul) and I have seen with my own two eyes a valid entry properly processed bearing that first name with paid medical claims in our production data (now if it were in the test instance I would be VERY doubtful). The child in question has a much more normal middle name, I can only hope it was mom's idea of a bad joke and the child will be called by his middle name and by 'S. William Smith' the rest of his life (the middle and last names are not william smith...of course).

Had I not seen it myself I would be very doubtful as it is hard for any rational person to understand why a mother would do that.

Wow. Just wow. I've discounted this kind of story every time I've heard it, but now we have confirmed evidence...