Random Rhyming

[EarlJam]

For your pleasure, I give you, random rhyming! Feel free to add to versus:


Tonight I watched Vanna, light up some vowels;
In my room in Savannah, while I filled up my bowels.
With chicken, nachos, and chocolate pie;
I was wishin' fo some ho hoes, and crispy french fries.

When out of the dark, came a scary sight;
The being said 'hark!", and I tried not to fight.
Said I'm your candy girl if you know what I mean;
Now make me some pearls, provide a shizzle scene!

All I got. Bad. Lame. Sorry.

-EJ

[2535Miles]

I was chillin my chair when along came this quake
peeped from my screen to watch the walls shake
5.8, in chino hills?
Where the funk is that man this floor needs to chill!

Sorry, mine was lame too. <sigh>

[brevity]

"Anybody want a peanut?"

[CameronBornAndBred]

I woke up this mornin', feelin mighty fine.
But the thought of the day ahead bristled my spine.
From my point of view, it looked pretty hairy.
So I called in sick, and now enjoy my bloody mary!

[pamtar]

Layin' on my air mattress with the tv on the floor.
There aint no furniture here cause we don’t live here no more.
Kashi frozen pizza and a pint of two of beer,
Getting kinda lonely, man I wish my wife was here.

My mattress losses air, as I read some Harry Potter,
I’m getting sick and tired of living like a squatter.
Just a couple more long days and I’m moving to G-Vegas.
If you can rhyme a word with that I’ll kiss your big fat angus.

[blublood]

Woke up this morning, came to work 30 minutes late
But I don't care 'cause this job makes me scrumbulate.
Now I'm rhyming wit my homies, even though we've never met
I don't do any work on account of the internet.


Hey, y'all, I never claimed to be a songwriter. :)

[EarlJam]

These are all awesome, beautiful!

Let it continue! Fat angus? Ha haaaaaaaaa!


I picked up my bottle, and looked at the time;
And went full throttle with the goblet of wine.
With my guitar hours later I was playing The Doors;
Alone wearing make up, naked on the floor.

With all the wine gone I turned to vodka and gin;
Came a thump at the door when cops busted in.
They spied my coffee table where I was feeding on some chowder;
‘Son, why is your nose bleeding and what is that white powder?’

I slipped on my Snoopy T-shirt as they took me to the car;
Whipped and feeling loopy as they put me behind bars.
I was trembling and fearing, as it got really heinous;
As my cellmates started peering at my bare naked anus.

-EarlJam

[wilson]

I went to Turner Field last night.
The home team has become such a fright.
By trading their slugger,
They've admitted they're buggered.
But at least football season's in sight.

[Lavabe]

I went to Turner Field last night.
The home team has become such a fright.
By trading their slugger,
They've admitted they're buggered.
But at least football season's in sight.

My friend Wilson wants football, he said
But the Failcons they play like they're dead.
With no offensive line
And defensive design
He'll wait for 09 at the Ted, instead.;)

[EarlJam]

My friend Wilson wants football, he said
But the Failcons they play like they're dead.
With no offensive line
And defensive design
He'll wait for 09 at the Ted, instead.;)

Brilliant!

[sue71, esq]

As my cellmates started peering at my bare naked anus.

-EarlJam

You just wanted people looking at your nekkid fanny. :eek:

[2535Miles]

You just wanted people looking at your nekkid fanny. :eek:
Get with program and bust some rhymes granny!

[sue71, esq]

Get with program and bust some rhymes granny!

You called me granny, that makes me so sad.
You should know better than to make me mad.
My cat is Chloe, doubles as Satan,
I'll let her loose on you, so don't be hatin'.
I'm a simple girl whose rhymes are lame
Back off, jack, what's your claim to fame?

[EarlJam]

You called me granny, that makes me so sad.
You should know better than to make me mad.
My cat is Chloe, doubles as Satan,
I'll let her loose on you, so don't be hatin'.
I'm a simple girl whose rhymes are lame
Back off, jack, what's your claim to fame?

Snap Sue, that's really good!
You rap just like you've lived in the hood!
Keepin' it real, keepin' it true;
With solid lyrics, through and through!

Yet I must say, to stay on the level;
I doubt today, that your cat's like the Devil.
Twas that the case, you'd not love her so;
You'd spray her with mace, declare her your foe.

Yes we know you love her, there is no debate;
So look far above her, towards bright pearly gates.
There you will find, no brimstone or demons;
Just God on the throne, looking like Morgan Feeman.

Like thunder of wisdom his voice shall proclaim;
It matters not that you have fortune or fame.
He'll say 'Sue, I'll tell you, what I think to be phat;"
It's my only begotten pet, it's your truely blessed CAT!

-EarlJam

[sue71, esq]

Snap Sue, that's really good!
You rap just like you've lived in the hood!
Keepin' it real, keepin' it true;
With solid lyrics, through and through!

Yet I must say, to stay on the level;
I doubt today, that your cat's like the Devil.
Twas that the case, you'd not love her so;
You'd spray her with mace, declare her your foe.

Yes we know you love her, there is no debate;
So look far above her, towards bright pearly gates.
There you will find, no brimstone or demons;
Just God on the throne, looking like Morgan Feeman.

Like thunder of wisdom his voice shall proclaim;
It matters not that you have fortune or fame.
He'll say 'Sue, I'll tell you, what I think to be phat;"
It's my only begotten pet, it's your truely blessed CAT!

-EarlJam

I love my cat. That much is true.
Thanks for not saying my rhyme is dog poo.
Back to my cat for she is my baby.
But no one ever thought that she was a lady.

I'm glad that you think so highly of her;
Maybe to you she'll snuggle up and purr.
That'd be a first, something I'd like to see,
But I know her- she'd probably charge a fee.

Enough of my cat, back to the point at hand.
Where, oh where, is 2535Miles in this land?
He called me out, granny I was labeled.
Who's he think he is, telling such fables?

A tale he spins, thinks he is the grandmaster.
But where is he now- could he run any faster?
I rose to the challenge & got praise from EarlJam.
Thanks, EJ, you are the man.

:D

[CameronBornAndBred]

I love my cat. That much is true.
Thanks for not saying my rhyme is dog poo.
Back to my cat for she is my baby.
But no one ever thought that she was a lady.

I'm glad that you think so highly of her;
Maybe to you she'll snuggle up and purr.
That'd be a first, something I'd like to see,
But I know her- she'd probably charge a fee.

Enough of my cat, back to the point at hand.
Where, oh where, is 2535Miles in this land?
He called me out, granny I was labeled.
Who's he think he is, telling such fables?

A tale he spins, thinks he is the grandmaster.
But where is he now- could he run any faster?
I rose to the challenge & got praise from EarlJam.
Thanks, EJ, you are the man.

:D

I bow down to you people. So does the rest under the steeple.

[wilson]

"Anybody want a peanut?"

We can all keep rhyming as long as we like. We could carry this to LTE proportions. But nobody is going to top the above rejoinder, period.

[cato]

Just a couple more long days and I’m moving to G-Vegas.
If you can rhyme a word with that I’ll kiss your big fat angus.

Does near rhyme count?


In a coupla hours we gonna hit G-Vegas
Where I know a honey that'll back stage us

[2535Miles]

You called me granny, that makes me so sad.
You should know better than to make me mad.
My cat is Chloe, doubles as Satan,
I'll let her loose on you, so don't be hatin'.
I'm a simple girl whose rhymes are lame
Back off, jack, what's your claim to fame?
What is this, are those tears I see leaking?
Get out ya tissue it was rhymes I'm seeking.
There's no cryin in this game, like in baseball I mean it
props go to brevity for bustin out the 'peanut'!

I dug on your rhymes, admit I'm impressed
But back to me before I digress
You wanna make threats
and cause me regrets?

My crazy Long style requires no claims
or silly whack rhymes to show my fame!
I got the west coast connection for all the 'q
So back the heck up or there be none for you

From brisket to fish, ribs and pork shoulder
Get it while it's hot, before it gets colder
I got tangy hot sauce, you can straight up mop with
Keepin it real I'll serve a plate as a gift

Maybe you'll dis, or bow and sorry
Either way I'm on a bbq safari
So make up your mind where you wanna land
It's all about the q, understand?

[2535Miles]

Does near rhyme count?
Of course they count
Now let me pounce
on your thread with no rhymin
that's ill, straight up poor timin
;)

[EarlJam]

Just a couple more long days and I’m moving to G-Vegas.
If you can rhyme a word with that I’ll kiss your big fat angus.

Rhyme "G-Vegas?" An attempt:

I once knew a man, a flamboyant type;
Very soft hands, and nipples so ripe.
Yes he batted for the other team;
But cool? He had it and was never mean.

I met him out west, in a bar called the cactus;
He said "I'm the best, and I've had lots of practice."
He came to fame, just outside of g-Vegas;
What was his name? Let's just say, that he Gay Gus.

-EarlJam

[rsvman]

Yo dey aint called no "near-rhyme"
Or close-rhyme or 'mos'-rhyme
Or even no beer-rhyme;
Dats an assonance rhyme!
Get it straight, aint too late
To learn ya some English
From da "Ivory Tower."
No need to cower, it's got da power;
Nobody blamin', nobody shamin.'

[sue71, esq]

What is this, are those tears I see leaking?
Get out ya tissue it was rhymes I'm seeking.
There's no cryin in this game, like in baseball I mean it
props go to brevity for bustin out the 'peanut'!

I dug on your rhymes, admit I'm impressed
But back to me before I digress
You wanna make threats
and cause me regrets?

My crazy Long style requires no claims
or silly whack rhymes to show my fame!
I got the west coast connection for all the 'q
So back the heck up or there be none for you

From brisket to fish, ribs and pork shoulder
Get it while it's hot, before it gets colder
I got tangy hot sauce, you can straight up mop with
Keepin it real I'll serve a plate as a gift

Maybe you'll dis, or bow and sorry
Either way I'm on a bbq safari
So make up your mind where you wanna land
It's all about the q, understand?

I feel like I should quit now; don't know if I can top this.
We're bickering like kids so my mom would say "Now stop it!"
An apology you say you want, trying to decide
If I should even go there, or offer up a bribe.

Donaghy I don't wanna be so cash you can forget
'Cause I don't roll like that you see, your eyes should not be wet
Crying for me, or shedding a tear
It's all about the q you say. I agree, never fear.

Alas our trip begins on this bbq safari.
Will there be lots of games just like old school Atari?
I know on here it's blasphemy to say I don't care
For pork but give me brisket and we'll make quite the pair.

I know, I know, leave me alone. How could I say such things?
But oh the joy, the happiness that hush puppies bring!
Sweet tea, sweet tea it is for me, on that you can rely
On q 2535Miles & I will be riding a glorious high!

[g_olaf]

A man once was eating an orange,


... that's all the further I could get.

[rsvman]

A man once was eating an orange,



The door was hanging on a door 'inge.....:o:rolleyes:;)

[2535Miles]

A man once was eating an orange,
cuz he couldn't stand the por'idge.

[pamtar]

Really good stuff from Cato and Earl,
But there's no way in hell I'm kissin your swirl...

[2535Miles]

Really good stuff from Cato and Earl,
But there's no way in hell I'm kissin your swirl...
pamtar is a lyrical assassin
ain't no way my words could pass him

[dukemomLA]

There once was a girl from Nantucket...... (oh, never mind)

Today we had a quake
It wasn't much of a shake
Not really a shake at all.
The TV pundits went on and on
You'd think the end of the world was upon.

A slow news day, I suspect
Nothing less than I expect.

Ah, L.A.
Any disaster (big or small) makes our day.

[Turk]

Here's mine. It sounds more like Cat in the Hat than Snoop Dogg, and I couldn't rhyme 'angus' either, so I went in a different direction....

When summer gets hot, we're the Ballers Galore,
we've been hooping for decades and hope to run more.
Once we were young bucks: fast, strong and athletic;
now we're the old heads: fat, sloppy, pathetic.

Then we go to the pub and tell tales of great deeds:
"I once played for Duke and dunked on Rasheed!"
"Oh, you're so full of #@$@#$!" says the pretty young hottie,
"You have a beer belly, I bet you can't hit the potty!"

But her friend's not so sharp, she buys it hook, line, and sinker,
"I can tell you more stories, there's no ring on my finger!
We're men of action, lies do not become us,
at home I have Nikes signed by Christopher Columbus!"

We still love the game, we would even pay a testicle,
no matter how badly we play, nor how ugly the spectacle!

[ForeverBlowingBubbles]

So I was sittin there pawnin newbs in Halo 3,
Postin' on DBR for all you mutha's to see,
Then I started wonderin' really man how is the sea?
I'm gonna go blind from starin at all these LCD's

So I set the GPS to WB Public Beach access eleven,
Went out in the light and hopped in my blue CJ7,
Man it was way too bright so I put on my dragons*,
Then set the tape deck to play me "tears in heaven"

Little to my surprise and who would have thunk,
Instead the speakers started playin 'George Clinton and PFunk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59ST4rCvgy8),
I tried not to wig out and I just went with the flow,
When all the sudden I saw Chuck Norris on the side of the Road,

to be continued....

*Dragons are a brand of sunglasses

[sue71, esq]

I'm really annoyed. How could this happen?
Somebody better get on this before I start snapping
On somebody, somewhere, out of frustration
Because if I don't do that I might not see the sun

Tomorrow, in the morning. I may just hide
Under the covers since I'm so fried.
"You have to be kidding," I think to myself
As I want to knock over everything on the shelf.

I hope & I pray that someone can help out
'Cause I'm at the point where I'm going to shout
At the computer, the stupid, the useless machine
Which may just happen to take a leap

Off the roof or the balcony or someplace high.
It has the yearning and burning desire to fly.
To where I don't know, maybe someplace with perks
Where maybe it might just decide to work.

(Bad day in the office :mad: )

[2535Miles]

I'm really annoyed. How could this happen?
Somebody better get on this before I start snapping
On somebody, somewhere, out of frustration
Because if I don't do that I might not see the sun

Tomorrow, in the morning. I may just hide
Under the covers since I'm so fried.
"You have to be kidding," I think to myself
As I want to knock over everything on the shelf.

I hope & I pray that someone can help out
'Cause I'm at the point where I'm going to shout
At the computer, the stupid, the useless machine
Which may just happen to take a leap

Off the roof or the balcony or someplace high.
It has the yearning and burning desire to fly.
To where I don't know, maybe someplace with perks
Where maybe it might just decide to work.

(Bad day in the office :mad: )
Don't worry sue,
soon there'll be q