Yo Mama Jokes

[Shammrog]

(Please keep them clean.)

I will start:

YO MAMA is so ugly, when she was born the doctor turned her over and said "Ooh, look! Twins!"

[BlueDevilBaby]

when they cut off her leg, gravy poured out.

[billybreen]

All my favorites come from the Pharcyde's 'Ya Mama' song. I'm partial to:

Your mama's got wooden legs with real feet.
Your mama's got a glass eye with a fish in it.
Your mama's got a peg leg with a kickstand.

[Shammrog]

when they cut off her leg, gravy poured out.

YO MAMA is so dumb, that when she got off the bus one time, her (breast) was hanging out. So I told her "hey, your (breast) is hanging out," and she goes "Oh no! I left the baby on the bus!"

[Johnboy]

... that when she hauls pottymouth!pottymouth!pottymouth!, she has to make two trips!

[Shammrog]

YO MAMA is so fat, that when she showers her feet don't get wet!

[rsvman]

--she has to use a shoehorn to get into the bathtub.

--when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.

--when she swam in the ocean all the whales sang, "We are fam-i-ly, Even though you're bigger than me..."

[rsvman]

--it takes her an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.

(This one is my all-time favorite.):)

[rsvman]

--she makes three-bean salad with one kind of bean and two magic markers.

[blazindw]

Yo mama's so dumb, I told her it was chilly outside, and she went and got a bowl.
Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
Yo mama's so old, she taught Jesus in elementary school.
Yo mama's so big, she plays hopskotch like this: LA, Denver, Chicago, Detroit, New York...
Yo mama's so skinny, she can hula hoop through a Cheerio.
Yo mama's so big, when she wears a red sweater outside, the kids go, "KOOLAID!"
Yo mama's got one toe and one knee, and everyone calls her Toni.

That's just a taste of an entire childhood of playing the dozens. :)

[aimo]

From In Living Color's game show Yo Mama,

"Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a quarter and squeezed a booger out of George Washington's nose!"

[Highlander]

From "Meet the Spartans"

Yo mamma's so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookie.

[EarlJam]

Yo mamma's so ugly, when she parks in the handicap space at Wal-Mart, people come up to her and say, "You can't park in the handi-cap space at Wal-Mart." The she steps out of the car. Then they say, "Wow. You CAN park in the handi-cap space at Wal-mart because you are really ugly."

That was lame.

-EarlJam