What superhero is the worst

[ForeverBlowingBubbles]

What superhero is the weakest?

Dwight Schrute made me start this poll... don't ask.

[CameronBornAndBred]

I think you need an "other", but given the choices, Aquaman blows whale snot.
"Oh no, Aquaman and his army of fish are out to spoil our evil scheme! What shall we do?!"
"Rob a bank in Phoenix. Come catch us! Here fishy, fishy!"

phlttttt, I never liked Aquaman.

[ForeverBlowingBubbles]

haha. i wanted it just to be between these 5. The 5 most recent I can remember I suppose.

[2535Miles]

Aquaman is lame. Always has been, always will be. Glad to see Spidey is the only without a vote (as of this posting). I think he'd definitely win in a round robin tournament. It's a toss up for second place (Batman or Iron Man) but I feel good about saying Marvel taking home at least two trophies.

[mph]

The timing of this poll is fortuitous. Last night I caught part of an episode of the Super Friends for the first time in years and I was quickly reminded of how completely lame Aquaman is. He has the power to talk to fish and he can hold his breath? Pulease!

[sue71, esq]

"...Here fishy, fishy!"



Wow, that's what my dad & I have always said when we go deep sea fishing. We call to them with "Here fishy, fishy!" Does that mean my dad is the lame superhero Aquaman?



(Believe me, if you saw my dad, you'd agree that he is most definitely NOT Aquaman.)

[CameronBornAndBred]

Wow, that's what my dad & I have always said when we go deep sea fishing. We call to them with "Here fishy, fishy!" Does that mean my dad is the lame superhero Aquaman?

No, and he is fishing the correct way. That is the universal fish call, along with "get in the boat, dammit" and "hand me a beer".

[wilson]

I dated a girl for a while who was always cold (I attributed this in part to the fact that she's a vegetarian, and thus literally doesn't have enough meat on her bones). I once told her that if she were a superhero, she'd be Bad Circulation Girl. It didn't go over too well.

As for the poll, I voted for Aquaman. I don't dislike him; I merely find him to be the weakest of a strong group.

[EarlJam]

I dated a girl for a while who was always cold (I attributed this in part to the fact that she's a vegetarian, and thus literally doesn't have enough meat on her bones). I once told her that if she were a superhero, she'd be Bad Circulation Girl. It didn't go over too well.

As for the poll, I voted for Aquaman. I don't dislike him; I merely find him to be the weakest of a strong group.

Wilson,

I am dissapointed. You think Aquaman is weaker than the others? First of all, he's the ONLY "underwater" hero that I know of and as most people know, ANYONE who makes their living or "does their thing" on the seas is a bad-arse. You MUST be very strong.

Add to this the fact that unlike Batman and Ironman, Aquaman has supernatural abilities. And like an underwater Tarzan, he can summon the sea creatures at will to help his cause.

Simply put, he's one bad mutha flippa.

Anyway, just had to defend Aquaman a bit. He's getting killed in this poll and he is a personal friend of mine (you should see what he did with a couple of seahorses at a party in Wilmington last year! He was wasted, and if I didn't know him better, I would have called PETA).

Bad Circulation Girl - That's hilarious! I once dated a girl who refused to admit she had any faults (other than being a "perfectionist").

I told her I was far more "Jesus-like" than her and that she was like Martha. We broke up the next day.

-EarlJam

[billybreen]

In order from lamest to coolest: Aquaman, Batman, the Hulk, Iron Man, Spiderman.

[2535Miles]

I dated a girl for a while who was always cold (I attributed this in part to the fact that she's a vegetarian, and thus literally doesn't have enough meat on her bones). I once told her that if she were a superhero, she'd be Bad Circulation Girl. It didn't go over too well.[/QUOTE
I like to give super hero names to people at work. Everyday I battle the evil forces of: Captain Redundant and Mr. Douche.

[QUOTE=billybreen;169316]In order from lamest to coolest: Aquaman, Batman, the Hulk, Iron Man, Spiderman.
Note: Marvel at the top, DC at the bottom. Perfect.

[wilson]

I like to give super hero names to people at work. Everyday I battle the evil forces of: Captain Redundant and Mr. Douche.

I've met similar folks myself. I'm pretty sure Captain Redundant has an entire Redundancy Squad Brigade. There seem to be an awful lot of his minions about.

[EarlJam]

I like to give super hero names to people at work. Everyday I battle the evil forces of: Captain Redundant and Mr. Douche.
.

I missed this in 2535's original post. That is awesome!

I currently battle the evil forces of:

SpreadSheet Girl! - Able to turn any person, place or thing into a mega-detailed, time-sucking spreadsheet with here EXCEL-lent powers!

The Incredible Sulk - Able to turn any positive into a negative with the mere opening of his mighty "glass half empty" mouth! Just won the lottery? 100 Million dollars? Bummer! You half to pay half in taxes you know!

Absolutely Guy! - This co-worker talks so much corporate speak it can drive anyone to their death.

"Absolutely Steve! I'll put pen to paper asap as to not get too far behind the eight ball! To your point, at the end of the day it's about leveraging the low hanging fruit to keep the department in the black!"

This guy is a rock star for the corporation!

-EarlJam

[2535Miles]

I missed this in 2535's original post. That is awesome!

I currently battle the evil forces of:

SpreadSheet Girl! - Able to turn any person, place or thing into a mega-detailed, time-sucking spreadsheet with here EXCEL-lent powers!

The Incredible Sulk - Able to turn any positive into a negative with the mere opening of his mighty "glass half empty" mouth! Just won the lottery? 100 Million dollars? Bummer! You half to pay half in taxes you know!

Absolutely Guy! - This co-worker talks so much corporate speak it can drive anyone to their death.

"Absolutely Steve! I'll put pen to paper asap as to not get too far behind the eight ball! To your point, at the end of the day it's about leveraging the low hanging fruit to keep the department in the black!"

This guy is a rock star for the corporation!

-EarlJam
Classic! But this makes me wonder what my superhero name would be. :confused: Maybe I could take a poll...

[ForeverBlowingBubbles]

Wilson,

I am dissapointed. You think Aquaman is weaker than the others? First of all, he's the ONLY "underwater" hero that I know of and as most people know, ANYONE who makes their living or "does their thing" on the seas is a bad-arse. You MUST be very strong.

Add to this the fact that unlike Batman and Ironman, Aquaman has supernatural abilities. And like an underwater Tarzan, he can summon the sea creatures at will to help his cause.

Simply put, he's one bad mutha flippa.

Anyway, just had to defend Aquaman a bit. He's getting killed in this poll and he is a personal friend of mine (you should see what he did with a couple of seahorses at a party in Wilmington last year! He was wasted, and if I didn't know him better, I would have called PETA).

Bad Circulation Girl - That's hilarious! I once dated a girl who refused to admit she had any faults (other than being a "perfectionist").

I told her I was far more "Jesus-like" than her and that she was like Martha. We broke up the next day.

-EarlJam

One could further argue that

1) One could argue Iron Man is Super Smart (leads to the next 2-3)

2) At least he can actually fly

3) He could make a much cooler 'batmobile' then Wayne.

4) He could make himself or anyone else a batman 2.0 if he wanted. At least a cooler, sleeker looking suit. He looks like a skate/ray egg with a strong muscular guy inside of it.

[mph]

I missed this in 2535's original post. That is awesome!

I currently battle the evil forces of:

SpreadSheet Girl! - Able to turn any person, place or thing into a mega-detailed, time-sucking spreadsheet with here EXCEL-lent powers!

The Incredible Sulk - Able to turn any positive into a negative with the mere opening of his mighty "glass half empty" mouth! Just won the lottery? 100 Million dollars? Bummer! You half to pay half in taxes you know!

Absolutely Guy! - This co-worker talks so much corporate speak it can drive anyone to their death.

"Absolutely Steve! I'll put pen to paper asap as to not get too far behind the eight ball! To your point, at the end of the day it's about leveraging the low hanging fruit to keep the department in the black!"

This guy is a rock star for the corporation!

-EarlJam

My current nemesis is Rejectra. She has the power to morph accounting policies to justify rejecting every requisition at least once. This power is complemented by her ability to explain in a very sincere voice how "this is the way we've always done requisitions." She'll stop at nothing to destroy all workplace productivity.

[sue71, esq]

Don't forget Captain Obvious.

Well, duh.

[EarlJam]

My current nemesis is Rejectra. She has the power to morph accounting policies to justify rejecting every requisition at least once. This power is complemented by her ability to explain in a very sincere voice how "this is the way we've always done requisitions." She'll stop at nothing to destroy all workplace productivity.

Oh yes. Rejectra!

I am familiar with her. She is a relentless demon from Hell, disguised as an innocent corporate peg. She is where ambitious new ideas go to die.

She can condemn any great idea to the pits of Hades with the power of two simple words, "It's policy."

She manifests herself in so many ways every day across this great land. She is pure evil and there is no way to stop her. You can only contain her with your "bypass her, apologize later" abilities.

Hang in there. Be strong, and know you suffer with many.

-EarlJam

[hc5duke]

Aquaman is lame. Always has been, always will be. Glad to see Spidey is the only without a vote (as of this posting). I think he'd definitely win in a round robin tournament. It's a toss up for second place (Batman or Iron Man) but I feel good about saying Marvel taking home at least two trophies.

My vote too would have gone to aquaman, but I don't think he even deserves to be in this poll, really. My second choice is spiderman, but that's more based on the movies, since I didn't really read comic books as a kid.

[billybreen]

Note: Marvel at the top, DC at the bottom. Perfect.

Amen. I always hated DC comics. The only DC-based movie I've thought was reasonably good was the last Batman. Didn't like the first one and all the other Batmans were atrocious, haven't been able to get into any of the Supermans.

[2535Miles]

Amen. I always hated DC comics. The only DC-based movie I've thought was reasonably good was the last Batman. Didn't like the first one and all the other Batmans were atrocious, haven't been able to get into any of the Supermans.
Even McFarlane's work for DC was poopoo.
I was excited to watch the new Superman, then was astonished how completely bored out of my mind I was. The last Batman was the best (I still haven't seen the Dark Knight) of the DC comics.

[DevilAlumna]

I couldn't vote for Aquaman, b/c frankly, he was hot on Smallville.

The Hulk is just lame, though -- can't speak, rather irrational in his behaviors, quite the lout, all in all.

[RainingThrees]

Anyone but Batman!!

[sue71, esq]

As I wrote in a PM earlier today (paraphrasing)...


Work turned into stupid city today. I was dealing with the superhero known as I'm-Too-Busy-to-Deal-With-You-Right-Now-Because-I'm-Handling-Personal-Matters. Even though this person gave you a deadline that passed over an hour or day ago. Riiiiiight.

And let's not forget, Mr/Ms I'm Too Busy To Return Your Call/Email Even Though I Have the Info You So Desperately Need.

Aka Keeper of All That Is Sacred or Important (And I Share On a Need To Know Basis As Determined by Me).

Aka Major Powertrip (pun intended).

[DukeDevil]

Do you mean physically the weakest or the weakest concept? Because I believe aquaman has superhuman strength (in water at least)

[blublood]

My current nemesis is Rejectra. She has the power to morph accounting policies to justify rejecting every requisition at least once. This power is complemented by her ability to explain in a very sincere voice how "this is the way we've always done requisitions." She'll stop at nothing to destroy all workplace productivity.

Wait, you mean Rejectra has cloned herself and is now at work in your office too? Do her evil powers know no bounds??

*Love* this thread... good antidote to a day when I'm going to have to work late. :D

[blublood]

I was excited to watch the new Superman, then was astonished how completely bored out of my mind I was.

Yeah, whoever that guy was was terrible as Superman. He was just sort of blandly nice and only showed emotion when people were trying to kill him. I hope they replace him for the second (or seventh?) one.

[Olympic Fan]

Reading this thread reminds me of Jerry Seinfield's routine about the Justice League of America. My memory on this is not perfect, but it goes something like this:

"What's with the Justice League? They've got Superman ... why do they need all those other guys. Got a problem, let Superman do it. He's Superman!"

For those of you who didn't waste their youth reading DC Comics, the Justice League of America was a collection of the the DC superheros -- Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, Aquaman, Flash, Wonder Woman ... I think there was some guy in a Robin Hood outfit (the Arrow?). Maybe more.

Looking back, the DC Comics of my youth were pretty lame -- pre-teen stuff. The Marvel Comics are pretty lame too, but aimed at a slightly older, more mature demographic (teens who couldn't get dates). It's been a long time since I was a comic book geek, but what little I've seen in recent years, I think the Batman brand has been Marvelized. Some of the Dark Knight stuff is a good deal more mature than the "Holy terror, Batman!" stuff I grew up on.

[Shammrog]

Batman! Not even a superhero. What "super" abilities does he even have? He just has gadgets and a cool car. Nothing more than James Bond with a silly suit, and without a gun. He sucks.

[2535Miles]

Batman! Not even a superhero. What "super" abilities does he even have? He just has gadgets and a cool car. Nothing more than James Bond with a silly suit, and without a gun. He sucks.
Yeah, it's the same deal with Iron Man too. The rest of the characters are all altered humans, which truly makes them super.

[CameronBornAndBred]

Batman! Not even a superhero. What "super" abilities does he even have? He just has gadgets and a cool car. Nothing more than James Bond with a silly suit, and without a gun. He sucks.

Yeah, but he and Iron Man are disgustingly rich, handsome bachelors. They could spend all of their days and nights endeavoring in devilish delights for their own satisfaction. Instead, they risk life and limb chasing bad guys and making the world a better place. Can't knock that.

[Acymetric]

Yeah, but he and Iron Man are disgustingly rich, handsome bachelors. They could spend all of their days and nights endeavoring in devilish delights for their own satisfaction. Instead, they risk life and limb chasing bad guys and making the world a better place. Can't knock that.

In addition, originally Iron Man was forced to wear the suit because of a heart defect. Some of the features may have been unnecessary for that purpose I s'pose, but it wasn't just a "Hey I'm gonna wear a suit now!" thing for him. I think. Someone else (really anyone else) on here is probably a better comic book expert than I.

[Shammrog]

Yeah, but he and Iron Man are disgustingly rich, handsome bachelors. They could spend all of their days and nights endeavoring in devilish delights for their own satisfaction. Instead, they risk life and limb chasing bad guys and making the world a better place. Can't knock that.


That may make them heroes, but does not make them super!

[cato]

That may make them heroes, but does not make them super!

Question: what super powers does a Walmart Supercenter have?

[Shammrog]

Question: what super powers does a Walmart Supercenter have?

Always Low Prices!!!

[DevilAlumna]

By the way, for all you erudite, literary folks on the board who also like comic books, if you haven't read "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Amazing_Adventures_of_Kavalier_%26_Clay)," by Michael Chabon, you're missing out. It centers on two cousins involved in the early american Comic book industry, and really gets into what makes a good superhero. It also just is a good story, well-written - the Pulitzer committee thought so, as they awarded it top prize in 2001.

[bjornolf]

Dude, I voted Batman. I love Batman, don't get me wrong. But he's NOT a SUPER hero. He is a totally bada** regular guy who is highly trained, intelligent, wealthy, connected, and driven. Likewise, technically, Ironman is not a SUPER hero either. He is just an insanely rich guy with health problems and a suit.

If I'd thought about it, I probably would have voted for Ironman over Batman, as Batman would win in a fight. Just like in his fights with Superman, he'd get his butt handed to him at first, but he'd figure out a way to deactivate Ironman's power system and leave him just a sick dude in a REALLY heavy, useless hunk of metal.

Just watch the Incredibles. Ironman is basically Syndrome. :rolleyes:

Oh, and your poll doesn't match your thread title. I would answer which is the "weakest" totally differently than I would answer which is the "worst".

[bjornolf]

oops, sorry. I didn't see that there was a page 2 of this thread, so I didn't notice that people had already pointed out that Ironman and Batman weren't superheroes. Oh well, my point about the Incredibles still holds.

[bjornolf]

Question: what super powers does a Walmart Supercenter have?

Super Walmart has the power to move into a small town and crush the souls of all the small businesses in the area, hire all their employees, and swell to dominate the local economy like an ugly version of Jabba the Hutt.