Perhaps the Stupidist lyrics ever....

[EarlJam]

Whitney Houston:

"I believe that children are our future...."

Really? Children are our future?

How can you NOT believe that? It's kinda more of a fact.

Jesus.


-EarlJam

[YmoBeThere]

Van Hagar - "Only time will tell if we stand the test of time."

No #@$%

[EarlJam]

Van Hagar - "Only time will tell if we stand the test of time."

No #@$%

Yeah, I see where you're coming from. But even Samuel is at least admitting, "I don't know?" He's saying (obviously in response to his hot brunette lover who is going through a doubting and insecure stage):

"Look baby, I love you and let me hold you, love you, be all I can be to you; but you ask me if I'll still be here for you years down the road? Girl. I love you so much I can't be anything but 100 percent honest with you. I don't know, Amber. I just don't know. Only TIME will tell if we stand the test of time. That's just my honest opinion. Now give me some suga."

But Whitney........ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Whitney. She is professing to be wise ("I believe....."). If you are going to wax poetic on your beliefs so, give me something more than, in essence:

"I think that the young people of today will end up being the leaders of tomorrrow."

I mean, come on Whitney. Blessed excrement. Diety condemnation. Ya know?

-EarlJam

[wilson]

While I don't at all disagree with EarlJam's assertion, I'm much more focused on the joyful irony of a thread that loudly, publicly misspells "stupidest."

[EarlJam]

While I don't at all disagree with EarlJam's assertion, I'm much more focused on the joyful irony of a thread that loudly, publicly misspells "stupidest."

You DO know that the misspelling was on purpose, right? :o

-EJ

[CameronBornAndBred]

While I don't at all disagree with EarlJam's assertion, I'm much more focused on the joyful irony of a thread that loudly, publicly misspells "stupidest."

I know a few stupidists. Assuming that means practioners of doing stupid things. Apparently, Whitney would be a stupidist.

[CathyCA]

This one comes to mind from Sade's "Smooth Operator:"


Coast to coast, LA to Chicago, western male
Across the north and south, to Key Largo, love for sale

Uh, coast to which coast, Sade? Pacific Coast to Lake Michigan? You have several hundred more miles to travel before you hit the Atlantic Coast, my dear!

Stupid lyrics!!! I can probably think of more, but Sade (yes, she was the lyricist) was obnoxious in ruining a good song by getting the geography wrong!

[EarlJam]

This one comes to mind from Sade's "Smooth Operator:"



Uh, coast to which coast, Sade? Pacific Coast to Lake Michigan? You have several hundred more miles to travel before you hit the Atlantic Coast, my dear!

Stupid lyrics!!! I can probably think of more, but Sade (yes, she was the lyricist) was obnoxious in ruining a good song by getting the geography wrong!

EXCELLENT one!

I have thought of this one before. No one think of "Coast to Coast" as "L.A. to Chicago."

What an IDIOT!

Coast to coast east Lake Lanier to west Lake Lanier!

-EJ

[brevity]

If one were so inclined, they could threadjack here by concentrating only on bad geography in music lyrics, which is an entire subset of Stupidism.

I'll toss in the phrase "East California" from the song "Kids in America." What is that, exactly? Susanville? Death Valley? Baker?

[Lavabe]

"Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there."

"They stand there?" Really? What were you expecting?

[sue71, esq]

"We build this city on rock & roll."

Really, no hammers, nails, steel, cement... nothing? Just rock & roll?

I hate that song. It should also be nominated in the worst song ever thread.

[Johnboy]

"It's only half past twelve but I don't care
It's 5 O'clock somewhere"

Well, Alan/Jimmy, if it's 12:30 where you are, it's not 5:00 anywhere.

How about
"You can run but you cannot hide
This is widely known."

C'mon James, you can do better than that. This is widely known? <sigh>

The plural/singular disagreement in LA Woman has long driven me to distraction:

"If they say I never loved you
You know they are a liar"

It does no harm to the lyric to say "You know they are all liars."

I'm usually cool with poetic/grammatical license, but not if it's unnecessary.

[micah75]

"Little Willy, Willy won't.. go home
But you can't push Willy round
Willy won't go, try tellin' everybody but, oh no
Little Willy, Willy won't.. go home"

Uh, has someone tried phoning little Willy's momma?

[DukeUsul]

"It's only half past twelve but I don't care
It's 5 O'clock somewhere"

Well, Alan/Jimmy, if it's 12:30 where you are, it's not 5:00 anywhere.



Well there are parts of India that are on half-hour intervals. So if he were in say London at 12:30, I suppose it would be 5:00 in Kolkata.

[EarlJam]

I've mentioned this one before:

Fleetwood Mac:

"Thunder only happens when it's raining."

That's just not true.

-EJ

[Johnboy]

Well there are parts of India that are on half-hour intervals. So if he were in say London at 12:30, I suppose it would be 5:00 in Kolkata.

You learn something new every day - and that's what I just learned.

So now the lyrics should read:
"It's only half past twelve GMT
It's 5 O'clock somewhere in India"

[cato]

I'll toss in the phrase "East California" from the song "Kids in America." What is that, exactly?

Nevada?

[Udaman]

"Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?"

No Alanis, there actually isn't one example of irony in that entire damn song...making your song - well, ironic.

[EarlJam]

"Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?"

No Alanis, there actually isn't one example of irony in that entire damn song...making your song - well, ironic.

I wonder to this day how she got by with that one. Surely someone must have pointed it out to her along the way. No?

[2535Miles]

... is ripe for the pickens:

"All right stop, collaborate and listen" - What does any of his song have to do with collaboration?

"Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle " - Candles aren't very bright and I just don't think they are symbolically tough or extreme to rock a mic like a vandal.

"Cause my style's like a chemical spill " - Yes, yes it is. I am vomiting and my eyes are burning. Please stop.

[wilson]

I've mentioned this one before:

Fleetwood Mac:

"Thunder only happens when it's raining."

That's just not true.

-EJ

I think we can all agree that, since Fleetwood Muck occupies a stratospheric level of suckitude all their own, we really don't need to dissect the case-by-case suckitude of their individual songs.

[g_olaf]

Whitney Houston:

"I believe that children are our future...."

Really? Children are our future?

How can you NOT believe that? It's kinda more of a fact.

Jesus.


-EarlJam

Don't blame Whitney for crying out loud... Blame the person who actually wrote the lyrics: Linda Creed.

If you're going to give Whitney grief for singing it, you have to also come down on George Benson, who sang it first.

This is almost as lame as when you claimed that Cat's in the Cradle was a Cat Stevens song. Do your research Dude!

[EarlJam]

Don't blame Whitney for crying out loud... Blame the person who actually wrote the lyrics: Linda Creed.

If you're going to give Whitney grief for singing it, you have to also come down on George Benson, who sang it first.

This is almost as lame as when you claimed that Cat's in the Cradle was a Cat Stevens song. Do your research Dude!

About the Cat Stevens snafu - no research was needed. It was an honest mistake, likely brought about by the fact that "Cat" is in the title of song. Let it go G_"meat" Olaf!

And by the way, I DO blame Whitney. Linda Creed wrote the song in a rush, when she was doing anything she could to raise money for surgery to repair her left ear - the ear that was mangled in a horrible sewing machine accident.

I sort of forgive her. Benson? He was just trying to help her out and was using his fame from his 80s sitcom as leverage.

But Whitney. Whitney! No excuses. Such a beautiful voice for a crackhead, and she wasted it on a song she knew full well was spouting off such dull wisdom aiken to "I believe that dipping your hand into an activated deep fryer full of Wesson oil will burn you...."

As Mr. Big wrote and sang in the early ninetees, "Oh baby, baby it's a wild world, it's hard to get by, just on a smile girl."

Well Whitney, you may have gotten by with singing that horribly written song, but there will be a reckoning one day. And you have to live with that for the rest of your life.

-EarlJam

[DukeUsul]

You learn something new every day - and that's what I just learned.

So now the lyrics should read:
"It's only half past twelve GMT
It's 5 O'clock somewhere in India"

lol :D

[g_olaf]

Linda Creed wrote the song in a rush, when she was doing anything she could to raise money for surgery to repair her left ear - the ear that was mangled in a horrible sewing machine accident.

-EarlJam

Actually, the surgery was a mastectomy, due to breast cancer. The sewing machine story is just an urban legend... check it out at snopes.com

... and you consider yourself a musician.

[EarlJam]

... and you consider yourself a musician.

No I don't.

[g_olaf]

No I don't.

Oh... well then that changes everything.

Never mind.

[Lavabe]

I think we can all agree that, since Fleetwood Muck occupies a stratospheric level of suckitude all their own, we really don't need to dissect the case-by-case suckitude of their individual songs.

No, we do.:eek:

My entry in the "Worst Songs" thread applies to this thread as well:

Don't say that you love me!
Just tell me that you want me!
Tusk! tusk! tusk! tusk!

Tusk is a noun, and refers to a mammalian dental specialization. In language terms, the word has no exclamatory function whatsoever.

Why not yell MOLAR!? Why not just yell DUCK? TAIL? FISH? ;)

What was Lindsey Buckingham doing when he penned that lyric?:eek:

Cheers,
Lavabe

[g_olaf]

No, we do.:eek:

My entry in the "Worst Songs" thread applies to this thread as well:

Don't say that you love me!
Just tell me that you want me!
Tusk! tusk! tusk! tusk!

Tusk is a noun, and refers to a mammalian dental specialization. In language terms, the word has no exclamatory function whatsoever.

Why not yell MOLAR!? Why not just yell DUCK? TAIL? FISH? ;)

What was Lindsey Buckingham doing when he penned that lyric?:eek:

Cheers,
Lavabe

Tusk was a euphemism for a certain male organ. The song is about Stevie's affair with Mick.

This is a picture of the walrus tusk that inspired the euphemism:
http://eesopessex.essexcc.gov.uk/images/fullsize/22-1886-42-237.jpg

[EarlJam]

Tusk was a euphemism for a certain male organ.


I can't see the image. Is it a spleen?

-EJ

P.S. Oh. NOW I see the picture. He wrote a song about Mick's liver?

[blublood]

Along the same lines, Alanis, I love you, but this is dumb:

"I don't want to be your glass of single malt whiskey in the bottom drawer."

The idea is obsessive co-dependency. One glass of single malt whiskey is not a drinking problem, it's a glass. I suppose that if she had said, "I don't want to be the crack you buy in the bottom drawer" or "I don't want to be the meth you hide in the bottom drawer" it would lose some energy, but at least it would make sense.

[Lavabe]

Tusk was a euphemism for a certain male organ. The song is about Stevie's affair with Mick.

This is a picture of the walrus tusk that inspired the euphemism:

I see!!! If only they explained that on Solid Gold (w/Dionne Warwick and Glen Campbell), it would have saved years of anguish and bewilderment.:D

Well now I can sleep better knowing that! The DBR first straightened me out on Eminence Front, and now TUSK!

Nonetheless, the song still ranks high on Wilson's scale of "suckitude."

Cheers,
Lavabe

[CameronBornAndBred]

Dredging up an older thread here, but I had to post to it. I heard this on my way back from the store tonite (from Re-flex)
"
The politics of dancing
The politics of ooo feeling good
The politics of moving
Is this message understood
"

No. It's not understood a damn bit. Still catchy though.

[jimsumner]

I've always been rather fond of "the heat was hot" from America's "A Horse With No Name."

[wilson]

I hate "A Horse With No Name" more than anything Fleetwood Mac ever did. It is easily my least favorite song of all time. I rather like "Sister Golden Hair," though.

[RainingThrees]

"Time is like a clock

in my heart"




"Young, black and famous

With money hangin'

Out the anus"





"Coast to coast

L.A. to Chicago"



"the rain was raining"

[ForeverBlowingBubbles]

Whitney Houston does smoke crack.... literally.

[Lavabe]

Dredging up an older thread here, but I had to post to it. I heard this on my way back from the store tonite (from Re-flex)
"
The politics of dancing
The politics of ooo feeling good
The politics of moving
Is this message understood
"

No. It's not understood a damn bit. Still catchy though.

Silly me ... I thought you meant Duran Duran's "The Reflex," which had the bizarre:
"I sold the renoir and the tv set"

WHAT was Duran Duran on when they penned THAT line?
HOW long did it take them to come up with THAT one?
I guess my only proper response to The Reflex "is an answer with a
question mark."

Wilson: "The Reflex" is my "Horse With No Name.":eek:
Cheers,
Lavabe

[YmoBeThere]

"The Reflex" is my "Horse With No Name.":eek:


I thought the Reflex was a lonely child...and that the children are our future. So we are destined to a lonely future.