Dad - What's Changed Since You Were a Kid?

[Udaman]

The history test thread made me think about a question I get from my kids all the time. Here are some of the answers I give them:

Soft drinks came in bottles (or cans with a top you had to pull off). We used to get them, and drive a hole in the bottle cap, then either drink out of the hole, or better yet, shake them and watch the foam shoot out.

We had no central airconditioning.

Cars had no cruise control. Nobody wore seatbelts. I used to ride in the flatbed of a pickup, on the highway. There was leaded gasoline, and it cost about .50 cents a gallon.

We had 6 total TV channels (NBC, CBS, ABC, PBS, then two on the UV - to this day, I can remember what those were in Houston, 2, 11, 13, 8 and 26 and 39). At 11 p.m. they all shut off after playing the National Anthem (watch Poltergeist to remind yourself what it looked like). We had no remote control (in fact, I was my dad's remote control - "Son, go change the channel).

We used to play outside all of the time. My mom would send me and my brother out on a weekend day, and we would ride our bikes around until it was dark. During the summer there was no summer camp. We spent all day at the public pool, or riding bikes.

The movies cost about $1.00, and they only had one huge screen with no stadium seating.

We listened to records and played cassette tapes on our walkmans.

There we no cell phones, no laptops, no computers, no Ipods, no Internet, and most importantly, no Sportscenter.

[TillyGalore]

The history test thread made me think about a question I get from my kids all the time. Here are some of the answers I give them:

Soft drinks came in bottles (or cans with a top you had to pull off). We used to get them, and drive a hole in the bottle cap, then either drink out of the hole, or better yet, shake them and watch the foam shoot out.

We had no central airconditioning.

Cars had no cruise control. Nobody wore seatbelts. I used to ride in the flatbed of a pickup, on the highway. There was leaded gasoline, and it cost about .50 cents a gallon.

We had 6 total TV channels (NBC, CBS, ABC, PBS, then two on the UV - to this day, I can remember what those were in Houston, 2, 11, 13, 8 and 26 and 39). At 11 p.m. they all shut off after playing the National Anthem (watch Poltergeist to remind yourself what it looked like). We had no remote control (in fact, I was my dad's remote control - "Son, go change the channel).

We used to play outside all of the time. My mom would send me and my brother out on a weekend day, and we would ride our bikes around until it was dark. During the summer there was no summer camp. We spent all day at the public pool, or riding bikes.

The movies cost about $1.00, and they only had one huge screen with no stadium seating.

We listened to records and played cassette tapes on our walkmans.

There we no cell phones, no laptops, no computers, no Ipods, no Internet, and most importantly, no Sportscenter.

I miss those days!

[OldPhiKap]

Boy, the way Glenn Miller played.
Songs that made the Hit Parade.
Guys like us, we had it made
Those were the days!

And you knew who you were then
Girls were girls and men were men.
Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again!

Didn't need no welfare state,
Everybody pulled his weight.
Gee, our old LaSalle ran great.
Those were the day -y- -y -y - s!

[CameronBornAndBred]

Getting my kids to go outside is like pulling teeth. I spent most of my days outside with the other neighborhood kids like you did. Nowadays they all huddle around a damn computer screen. grrrrrrrrrr

( I do kick them out, but they still come back)

[aimo]

When Atari came out, we were not allowed to have one. Our summer days were spent mostly at the pool and at tee-ball/baseball/softball practice. We rode our bikes ALL DAY LONG, coming home briefly for lunch and just in time for dinner. Weekend days that couldn't be spent outdoors, I would usually be in my room vegging out with a book. Or playing games with my brother.

I hate myself nowadays when I find myself on a weekend sacked out with the television on. Life's too short. When I read about today's kids' problems with obesity and attention disorders, I can't help but think my parents had the right idea way back when.

[hurleyfor3]

Everyone hated Carolina and liked Duke.

[billybreen]

I miss those days!

Funny. I could have sworn he was describing hell. :)

[Windsor]

Playing outside...what a concept. In summer I would disappear on my bike in the morning and might show back up for dinner.


The universal symbol to get your butt home...the street lights came on.

You wrote letters with paper and pen.

Home movies had no sound (yikes I'm old!)

[TillyGalore]

Funny. I could have sworn he was describing hell. :)

Poor, poor billy. You have no idea what you missed out on. :rolleyes:

[blublood]

We had no central airconditioning.

Dear Lord - how did you survive?? :D

I'm actually really down with the whole seat belt issue. Nowadays, my friends won't even let their kids out of their car seats on long trips because "you never know when you might have an accident." I mean, I understand the principle, but can you imagine the torture for small children??

[Indoor66]

I recall, after dinner, going upstairs to my parent’s room with my dad and listening to the radio to several 15 minute shows. We heard Amos ‘n Andy, The Shadow, Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar and others. There was no TV.

My mother had a washing machine (http://www.lehmans.com/jump.jsp?itemType=PRODUCT&itemID=613)with a mechanical wringer you fed the cloths through (now the process is handled by the spin cycle on your washing machine.) She hung the wet wash on a cloths drying tree that she set up into a pipe in the ground in the back yard.

After the War my mother had a Crosley (http://crosleyautoclub.com/SpotLite/Radford-51-sw-1.jpg) automobile followed by a ’50 Ford (http://www.hubcapcafe.com/ocs/ford-1950.htm)sedan. I rode a 20” Huffy bike all day long. We would ride about 5 miles to Red Bridge and catch garter snakes; carry our fishing rods, dig for worms and fish at the Pond; and ride down 27th Street to my Uncles and help him harvest his apples. My sister and I would ride a mile or so to Stix’s Store in the evening to have ice cream.

I remember swimming in a community pool at the site of an old amusement park. On weekends we went there for dances with live bands providing the music. Saturday Double Feature (+ Serial) Movies were 25¢, popcorn was 10¢ and a Coke (not allowed inside the seating area of the theater) was 5¢.

I rode a trolley streetcar from the suburbs to downtown to meet my dad at his office. I would walk from the bus stop at 8th Street to Lipmann The Tailor’s shop a couple doors down and stop in and visit with the Lipmann’s (a deaf-mute couple) who would always have a smile, a hug and cookies for me. Then I would continue another block to my Dad’s office, which was also where my grandparents lived. If I was lucky I would get to walk with my grandmother to the Farmer’s Market on 9th Street. There she would purchase from her regular butcher, green grocer and others to get the food for the next several days. Market was held on Tuesday and Saturday and she usually went each day.

There was no TV until into the 50’s. Radio was all we had. No computers or Walkman’s. We had one phone in the house - in the front hall. We had a record player in the basement and a collection of big band sounds on ‘78’s. I wish I had those today. We would get together with the other kids in the neighborhood and play baseball or football. No one I knew played Basketball at that time. I recall there was a vacant lot nearby and we (the kids) all got rakes and shovels and created our own baseball field. That lasted for about two years – until the owner built a house there and we were all quite angry.

I walked 9 blocks to my grade school. It was uphill going and downhill home. Behind the school was a little candy shop in the back room of a house. We would go there after school and buy penny candy when we had a penny! I remember the wax coke bottles of sugar water. Also we had little boxes with pin holes in them and photographic paper inside and we would make a picture of the sun. I remember building a box to indirectly view an eclipse of the sun while in 2nd grade.

Ernie Stump ran Stump’s grocery story – where my mother shopped and Clair Hartman ran Clover Farm’s Dairy – where we got the milk. Every summer the Rag Man came by and purchased/sold rags, the scissor sharpener came by and took care of knives and scissors and periodically the Fuller Brush Man made a call. Soft Drinks came in return bottles (out of machines they cost 5¢), milk came in return bottles and pay phones cost 5¢.

All in all, life was much simpler.

[Jeffrey]

Nowadays they all huddle around a damn computer screen. grrrrrrrrrr

Hi,

Just like we're doing now? :D

Best regards,
Jeffrey

[CameronBornAndBred]

Hi,

Just like we're doing now? :D

Best regards,
Jeffrey

Yes, but as soon as I get home I go play in my garden. I'd rather be in my garden right now, too.

[Jeffrey]

Yes, but as soon as I get home I go play in my garden. I'd rather be in my garden right now, too.

Hi,

I hear ya! I also only hang here during slow times at work. I was just using your quote to make fun of us for doing the same.

Best regards,
Jeffrey

[Udaman]

Oh man - on rainy days we would play Risk, Clue, Battleship, and yes...Dungeons and Dragons. Actually rainy days were bad for TV, because my step dad was in construction, so he was home those days too and from noon until 3 p.m. it was reruns of The Rifleman, Bonanza, Little House on the Prairie. It wasn't until 3 that The Brady Bunch and then Gilligan Island repeats came on.

At night, the only TV I remember really watchin was The Love Boat, and Fantasy Island (though it often gave me nightmares). I'm sure there was some TV on during weeknights, but I don't remember it really at all.

When I was 10 we got Intellivision - and definitely played it a great deal...but there were limits (usually an hour a day, unless the weather was awful). I also had that hand held electronic football game where you moved the ball carrier up and down until you had an opening, and then moved it forward (couldn't go back), and then up and down again. After three downs you punted or went for it, and it made a little noise to turn it over to the other person. What was that game called????

[aimo]

Oh man - on rainy days we would play Risk, Clue, Battleship, and yes...Dungeons and Dragons. Actually rainy days were bad for TV, because my step dad was in construction, so he was home those days too and from noon until 3 p.m. it was reruns of The Rifleman, Bonanza, Little House on the Prairie. It wasn't until 3 that The Brady Bunch and then Gilligan Island repeats came on.

At night, the only TV I remember really watchin was The Love Boat, and Fantasy Island (though it often gave me nightmares). I'm sure there was some TV on during weeknights, but I don't remember it really at all.

When I was 10 we got Intellivision - and definitely played it a great deal...but there were limits (usually an hour a day, unless the weather was awful). I also had that hand held electronic football game where you moved the ball carrier up and down until you had an opening, and then moved it forward (couldn't go back), and then up and down again. After three downs you punted or went for it, and it made a little noise to turn it over to the other person. What was that game called????

Electronic Quarterback. The Sears version was identical but called Electronic Touchdown. I had Merlin and Wildfire Pinball. Still do, actually, and they both work perfectly.

My brother and I would have a long-standing game of Monopoly going throughout the summer. Or Life. Or we'd keep a huge jigsaw puzzle on a card table in the living room.

[Karl Beem]

When you wanted vegetables in the winter, you opened a can.

[hurleyfor3]

I also had that hand held electronic football game where you moved the ball carrier up and down until you had an opening, and then moved it forward (couldn't go back), and then up and down again. After three downs you punted or went for it, and it made a little noise to turn it over to the other person.

You left out the unofficial object of the game, which was to get to 100 points by halftime.

[Udaman]

I would do jigzaw puzzles with such intensity, that I would literally wake up in the middle of the night and go "THAT'S where that piece goes" and walk downstairs and put it in. My first true obsession.

[rasputin]

The Everclear song has it just about right.

[rthomas]

When I was a kid, I used to walk to school. It was uphill both ways and snowing and this was coastal SC.

Really, I would never let my kids walk to school now.

[hc5duke]

Soft drinks came in bottles (or cans with a top you had to pull off).
We had no central airconditioning.
Cars had no cruise control. Nobody wore seatbelts.
We had 6 total TV channels (NBC, CBS, ABC, PBS, then two on the UV - to this day, I can remember what those were in Houston, 2, 11, 13, 8 and 26 and 39). At 11 p.m. they all shut off after playing the National Anthem (watch Poltergeist to remind yourself what it looked like). We had no remote control (in fact, I was my dad's remote control - "Son, go change the channel).
We used to play outside all of the time. My mom would send me and my brother out on a weekend day, and we would ride our bikes around until it was dark. During the summer there was no summer camp. We spent all day at the public pool, or riding bikes.
The movies cost about $1.00
We... played cassette tapes on our walkmans.
There we no cell phones, no laptops, no computers, no Ipods, no Internet, and most importantly, no Sportscenter.


I was born in 1981, and all of the above is true for me as well. :)

[jimbonelson]

drinking water out of any hose.................and it was good:)

[UVaAmbassador]

When I was a kid, I used to walk to school. It was uphill both ways and snowing and this was coastal SC.

Really, I would never let my kids walk to school now.

I didn't want to interject cynicism into a nostalgia thread, but I also don't think its entirely fair to blame parents for not putting their kids onto bikes to ride around all day unsupervised as a way to combat childhood obesity. The dangers (urbanization, preaditors, etc.) are just too much to allow the same practices as in "the olden days."

[duke'61]

Read Bill Bryson's The Thunderbolt Kid about growing up in the 1950s from a kids point of view. Hilarious to those of us who did and instructive of a bygone era to the rest.
He states that 1957 was "the best year in American history" verifying what I have often thought--after the Korean War and before the rest, econcomy improving with many new items to increase standard of living etc. We could actually "cruise" all weekend on .25 cents worth of gas! Then came the Duke experience ('61) to cap it all off.

[CameronBornAndBred]

A digital calculator was your fingers, and it was Hi-Fi, not Wi-Fi.

[billybreen]

I didn't want to interject cynicism into a nostalgia thread, but I also don't think its entirely fair to blame parents for not putting their kids onto bikes to ride around all day unsupervised as a way to combat childhood obesity. The dangers (urbanization, preaditors, etc.) are just too much to allow the same practices as in "the olden days."

Are there stats on this? My hunch is that sensationalism in the news and parental paranoia (which, being childless, I'm in no position to fault) are responsible for the perception that the world is more dangerous for kids now than in the past.

[billybreen]

Read Bill Bryson's The Thunderbolt Kid about growing up in the 1950s from a kids point of view. Hilarious to those of us who did and instructive of a bygone era to the rest.
He states that 1957 was "the best year in American history" verifying what I have often thought--after the Korean War and before the rest, econcomy improving with many new items to increase standard of living etc. We could actually "cruise" all weekend on .25 cents worth of gas! Then came the Duke experience ('61) to cap it all off.

UVA's post gives me license to inject some more cynicism, but 1957 was probably only the best year in American history for the white kids.

Uh oh, did I ppb us? :o

[hc5duke]

UVA's post gives me license to inject some more cynicism, but 1957 was probably only the best year in American history for the white kids.

Uh oh, did I ppb us? :o

I think the initial claim assumes that you're AMERICAN, duh!

[UVaAmbassador]

Are there stats on this? My hunch is that sensationalism in the news and parental paranoia (which, being childless, I'm in no position to fault) are responsible for the perception that the world is more dangerous for kids now than in the past.

Nope. I've got no cites and I'm too lazy to look them up. I guess I don't care. Even if its just higher reporting, is anyone gonna argue this isn't a reason for parents to be increasingly concerned?

[DevilAlumna]

UVA's post gives me license to inject some more cynicism, but 1957 was probably only the best year in American history for the white kids.

Uh oh, did I ppb us? :o

More like, for the white males.

[2535Miles]

Nope. I've got no cites and I'm too lazy to look them up. I guess I don't care. Even if its just higher reporting, is anyone gonna argue this isn't a reason for parents to be increasingly concerned?
I think parents are obligated to adjust to the times around them. Child abductions may have increased over time, but that's hardly and excuse to let your kids sit on their bums and stuff their faces with Little Debbies. Parents may not be able to turn their kids lose in the neighborhood anymore, but they are obligated to come up with other ideas to stimulate their children's imaginations, and engage in some good ol' fashioned romping around out doors.

[2535Miles]

I can't speak for my father, but a lot of you have already stated differences that sound like they could've come from his mouth.

I got to take advantage of growing up a Navy Brat, and having two of the most wonderful parents in the world. When we were stationed at Holy Loch in Dunoon, Scotland, my brother and I (at the ages of 6 and 7) walked to school without our Mom. When we moved to Bolling AFB in D.C., we spent our summers on bike or foot, checking in only to grab a glass of kool-aid and a bologna sandwich.

My parents also supplied us with a greater number of brain toys (Tinker Toys, Legos, Lincoln Logs, Construx, Erector Set) than pop culture toys (G.I. Joes, Transformers, MASK, etc.).

We had an Atari, but couldn't play it all day. Then we had the first Nintendo with R.O.B the Robot and the Gun, and we still couldn't play it all day. We were one of the last families to get a VCR.

[dukemomLA]

As mentioned in a previous post, riding off on my bike with friends in the morning and not coming home until dinner.

Raking TONS of leaves into the street, jumping into them for a while, and then burning them in the street.

Playing outdoors for hours and hours -- both winter and summer. Sledding down the streets, skating on the local pond, walking home late in the evening, riding bikes without helmets, eating raw vegetables from the garden, drinking tap water from the hose, playing kickball/bombardment/dodgeball on the school playground.

Indoor activities: a great jigsaw puzzle on the cardtable at all times, card games & board games a weekly staple, playing music and songfests (with great harmony) happening on a regular basis, and watching butterflies in abundance and catching fireflies/lightning bugs in the summer.

Hanging upside down from trees, and jumping off the woodpiles. Cotton candy and salt water taffy on the Boardwalk.

Still smile at the memory (I grew up in north Jersey) that at age 9, with my friend -- age 10-- boarding a bus for the 45 minute ride to Newark. We window shopped, and had hotdogs and milkshakes at JJ Newberry's counter, then caught a return bus to Verona so we could stop at the White Castle...and then walked the 3+ miles home. A GREAT day. No one worried about us, no one had a cell phone or pager, parents were not concerned. After all, we were home for dinner.

[aimo]

We used to play a game called roller bat. Does anyone remember the rules to this game? It seems to me it was an alternative to baseball when we were playing too close to the house. Or did my neighbor just make it up?

[CameronBornAndBred]

We played "war" in the communal neighborhood garden. We'd divide into teams of 6-10 kids, and from opposite sides of the feild throw turnips at each other. It usually ended with one kid running home in tears because he got hit. We also did this once with home made spears. That one also ended badly for one kid. I still don't know how he has both eyes.

[billybreen]

More like, for the white males.

Indeed!

[duke74]

Electronic Quarterback. The Sears version was identical but called Electronic Touchdown. I had Merlin and Wildfire Pinball. Still do, actually, and they both work perfectly.

My brother and I would have a long-standing game of Monopoly going throughout the summer. Or Life. Or we'd keep a huge jigsaw puzzle on a card table in the living room.

How about Strat-o-matic baseball...and the vibrating football game with little players that moved across the field?

[TNTDevil]

Nope. I've got no cites and I'm too lazy to look them up. I guess I don't care. Even if its just higher reporting, is anyone gonna argue this isn't a reason for parents to be increasingly concerned?Yeah, I'll take that one... it's BS.

The "stats" overwhelmingly show that in child abductions the kid "knows" the abductor. Something on the order of 78%. If you're a kid and something terrible happens to you (murder, rape, molestation) it's probably gonna' be by a member or "friend" of your family.

Do "strangers" abduct kids and do harm, damn straight, but it's not nearly the problem the MSM would have you believe. The majority of the hysteria surrounding “stranger danger” is a creation of the 24 hour news cycle and cable news outlets

The problem-- too many parents preach this crap and make their kids afraid of the world. Not me. I teach my children how to navigate the world without fear. I do this by instructing them on how to deal with situations, of what to be wary, of what to be aware. My wife and I have a set of straight-forward rules and/or passwords for our kids that allow them to go out on their own and experience life. Our kids get no TV on school days and only an hour of “free” time on the PC (research is allowed).

When you have kids you see this surrender to fear’s prevalence throughout the day:
- Kid misses the bus so you have to drop them at school- drop off line is two miles long, choked with SUVs sitting at idle for 15 or more minutes, meanwhile, buses run half-empty.
- At bus stops, parents wait with their kids even though they live in crime-free neighborhoods and the bus stop is only two houses away.
- Speaking of bus stops, they’re placed about every 100 meters because Moms tend to get to worried so, they petition the school system for more stops. Heck, when I was a boy, I had to walk 1K meters just to get to the bus stop.
- After school no one plays outside. Why? Because mommy would rather have the kid in front of the X-box than outside where it's "dangerous".
- Want to volunteer and/or coach? Cool, just fill out these forms (about four pages) and be willing surrender your right to privacy because we need to insure you’re not a mental case/drug dealer/pimp/molester/sexual predator etc.

I've developed a name for what's happening now... the "X-boxing of America". Terribly sad.

[allenmurray]

Are there stats on this? My hunch is that sensationalism in the news and parental paranoia (which, being childless, I'm in no position to fault) are responsible for the perception that the world is more dangerous for kids now than in the past.

I think you are correct that the perception of danger is higher than the reality.

On the other hand there has been a lessening of the idea of communal responsibility. In the neighborhood where I grew up (I'm 48 and grew up in a suburb of DC) almost everyone knew each other. This was in large part due to the fact that we had a neighborhood school (everyone walked), and almost all moms were stay-at-home parents. The connectedness in the neighborhood was quite high. Even folks who didn't have strong social relationships knew each other. If I went out to play, and was doing something wrong, I was either corrected by one of the moms down the street, or my own mom knew about it before I got home. On the other hand, If I went out to play, was a few blocks from home, and fell down and scraped my knee, I could stop at almost any house for a band-aid. Or a glass of water. Even if those kids weren't friends of mine, even if our parents were not tight, there was a sense of collective parenting.

I now live in a similar suburban neighborhood. However, almost everyone works. So kids don't come home from school at 3:00 and play, they go to after-school until 6:00. When they get home it is dinner time. There is far less just going outside to see who else is around, and a lot more arranged "play-dates". I know some of my nieghbors, but not many. If a neighbor's kid came to my house and asked for a band-aid or a glass of water, I'd certianly give it to him, but I'd be shocked.

It isn't the higher crime that makes folks feel unsafe, it s the lack of connections in thier own neighborhoods.

[Udaman]

AM - you are right....times have certainly changed in terms of the neighborhood collective feel. We just moved into our house in Boston. Obviously we had a huge moving truck sitting in front our our house all day. Everyone clearly knows we are there.

We've had the people to our left stop by (as they drove into their house), and the son of the elderly couple on our right stop by (he's a local policeman)....and that is it. In the old days, the entire street would have been stopping by with cookies, brownies, you name it (something we still do with new people on the street).

This weekend, I'm actually going to take my kids and walk down to the 5-6 houses on our block and introduce ourselves. If they don't like it...they can refuse to answer their door.

[allenmurray]

AM - you are right....times have certainly changed in terms of the neighborhood collective feel. We just moved into our house in Boston. Obviously we had a huge moving truck sitting in front our our house all day. Everyone clearly knows we are there.

We've had the people to our left stop by (as they drove into their house), and the son of the elderly couple on our right stop by (he's a local policeman)....and that is it. In the old days, the entire street would have been stopping by with cookies, brownies, you name it (something we still do with new people on the street).

This weekend, I'm actually going to take my kids and walk down to the 5-6 houses on our block and introduce ourselves. If they don't like it...they can refuse to answer their door.

They will like it - they will feel a little guilty, but they'll like it.

The one place where I still get the collective parenting/neighborhood feeling is at my local Little League park. It sits out in the country all by itself, and has a total of five fields, a large parking lot, some common areas, and a creek with frogs. There really isn't anyting else for miles. When my older son has a game, and my younger son tags along, we simply turn him loose. There are usually upwards of 200 people there. When I see someone else's kid doing somethng stupid I tell them to stop. When someone sees my kid doing something stupid they tell him to stop. The older kids tolerate the younger kids.

It is also the place where my kids have the most exposure to kids from other social/racial groups. I talked about that in a post a while back. Most of us, no matter how socially concious we try to be, live in homogeneous neighborhoods. Even if they have racial and ethnic diversity they usually don't have a lot of economic diversity. It is even more true for folks who send thier kids to private school. Athletics are the one place where (at least here in Durham) kids have opportunity to interact with kids different from themselves.

[kexman]

here are two links that are on topic about letting kids run free...i heard the first on npr a few months ago...


http://www.nysun.com/editorials/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-subway-alone

http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2008/04/06/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-the-subway-alone/

[bdh21]

A question for the parents out there: Do kids still climb trees? Are parents becoming uncomfortable with tree climbing? Tree-climbing was the one thing we could not live without when I was young.

[allenmurray]

A question for the parents out there: Do kids still climb trees? Are parents becoming uncomfortable with tree climbing? Tree-climbing was the one thing we could not live without when I was young.

Didn't you worry about whether the trees wanted to be climbed?

[blublood]

A question for the parents out there: Do kids still climb trees? Are parents becoming uncomfortable with tree climbing? Tree-climbing was the one thing we could not live without when I was young.

I sincerely hope not because that's just sad (the parents being uncomfortable, that is). My husband is already excited about taking our little boy rock climbing when he gets big enough to be belayed.

[mph]

I think you are correct that the perception of danger is higher than the reality.

On the other hand there has been a lessening of the idea of communal responsibility. In the neighborhood where I grew up (I'm 48 and grew up in a suburb of DC) almost everyone knew each other. This was in large part due to the fact that we had a neighborhood school (everyone walked), and almost all moms were stay-at-home parents. The connectedness in the neighborhood was quite high. Even folks who didn't have strong social relationships knew each other. If I went out to play, and was doing something wrong, I was either corrected by one of the moms down the street, or my own mom knew about it before I got home. On the other hand, If I went out to play, was a few blocks from home, and fell down and scraped my knee, I could stop at almost any house for a band-aid. Or a glass of water. Even if those kids weren't friends of mine, even if our parents were not tight, there was a sense of collective parenting.

I now live in a similar suburban neighborhood. However, almost everyone works. So kids don't come home from school at 3:00 and play, they go to after-school until 6:00. When they get home it is dinner time. There is far less just going outside to see who else is around, and a lot more arranged "play-dates". I know some of my nieghbors, but not many. If a neighbor's kid came to my house and asked for a band-aid or a glass of water, I'd certianly give it to him, but I'd be shocked.

It isn't the higher crime that makes folks feel unsafe, it s the lack of connections in thier own neighborhoods.

That's a great point. Growing up in the 70's and 80's there were still plenty of reports of child abduction, but we knew most of our neighbors well enough that my parents didn't think twice about letting us roam the neighborhood until dark. My brother lives in Carlsbad and I have close friends who live in Falls Church, VA. Both talk about how they are surrounded by people but still feel disconnected. It seems like this is becoming an increasingly common experience in suburban America. Even in our small-town neighborhood, we only know the neighbors in our immediate vicinity.

[aimo]

I read this today. I went to camp eight times over seven summers. The only time my parents ever called the camp was when a major thunderstorm passed over the area and they just wanted to check on us. I didn't find out until I got home and was embarrassed that they felt the need to check up on me. And they never cried when I went off to camp. I think they were glad to be rid of one of us for a while. Plus, they knew I'd have a blast, which I did.

http://www.newsobserver.com/front/story/1136641.html

[tecumseh]

There are the helicopter parents these days
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4188/is_20071105/ai_n21088705

I know of parents who talk with their kids all the time when their kids are at college. Not sure what to think of this.

[aimo]

There are the helicopter parents these days
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4188/is_20071105/ai_n21088705

I know of parents who talk with their kids all the time when their kids are at college. Not sure what to think of this.

is parents talking to their children's prospective employers. No way would I hire anyone whose parent contacted me.

[2535Miles]

My brother lives in Carlsbad and I have close friends who live in Falls Church, VA. Both talk about how they are surrounded by people but still feel disconnected.
Carlsbad, CA? If so, I can second that. I moved to Carlsbad a few years ago from Charlotte, NC and I've also lived in Scotland and up and down the east coast. I can safely say I have never felt more disconnected with my neighbors than I have in Southern California. But hey, the weather is great.

[merry]

You wrote letters with paper and pen.


OMG do you remember "air mail stamps"? They cost more than regular stamps, like 5 cents instead of 2 or something.

When we wrote to my brother in Vietnam we didn't have to use a stamp at all because it was an APO address. Do they still do that? Or does everyone in the military just use email now?

One time when zip codes first came out someone wrote to us and addressed it with only our last name and zip code to prove that it would work.

And to top off the communcations reverie, phone numbers had named exchanges like ours was Butler 3 or BU3. Our number was BU3-2833 and if you lived in our same exchange you only had to dial 3-2833 and didn't need the BU part. My aunt had a party line - you could tell which house the call was for by how it rang.

[merry]

I read this today. I went to camp eight times over seven summers. The only time my parents ever called the camp was when a major thunderstorm passed over the area and they just wanted to check on us. I didn't find out until I got home and was embarrassed that they felt the need to check up on me. And they never cried when I went off to camp. I think they were glad to be rid of one of us for a while. Plus, they knew I'd have a blast, which I did.

http://www.newsobserver.com/front/story/1136641.html

Oh dear, that's kind of sad, but I can't say I am surprised based on what I see around me these days.

We really really try not to hover over ours (he's an only). He's away at camp right now for THREE WEEKS and after 11 days we finally got the first card. He always writes us one time whether he's at an 8 day session or a 3 week session. The camp has a web site where they upload pictures and admitedly I troll it to see if he's in any of the pictures. I do miss him when he's gone but I also like the freedom of being able to make plans without having to juggle them with his schedule.

I only went away to camp 3 or 4 times between the ages of 11 and 14, but then my mom didn't work outside the home so I was just home with her
most of the summer. That's not an option for my kid.

[shereec]

I understand they don't teach "duck and cover" in public schools anymore, but we certainly practiced...

[duke74]

I understand they don't teach "duck and cover" in public schools anymore, but we certainly practiced...

And...most apartment buildings in my home area in Queens, NY had "Air Raid" shelter signs at the corner of the building for refuge from the "big one".

[devildeac]

5 cent candy bars and fountain sodas, 25 cent movies and 29 cents/gallon of gas (19 cents during a "gas war"). Hoagies (subs, grinders, whatever) were 35 cents each or three for a buck. That was after Bill Werber (and before Grant Hill) poured the beer:D. I only walked 3-4 blocks to my elementary school, about 3/4 mile to my middle school and about a mile to my HS and the terrain was pretty flat and we did not have snow year round that was piled several feet high against the fences and houses:rolleyes:. What a deprived youth:rolleyes:.

[Windsor]

We have a large camphor tree in our front yard. When the neighborhood kids (and mine) were younger it always had children hanging of it...so much so that we mulched underneath it because grass refused to grow and the kids got covered in dirt. Kids fell. Nobody sued.

I guess I'm lucky enough to have a very nice neighborhood. I know most of my neighbors. Our house has a front porch and all the neighbors know if our torches are lit we're sitting out...come on by...and they do.

When my daughter was younger she and the two other girls her age would vanish for hours at time during the summer. On bikes...I didn't worry...there were three of them and the area was safe.

My daughter walked to elementary and middle schooll 90% of the time. I drove her to high school until she got her license because school started at 7:10 am and I really didn't want her walking alone in the dark. She walked home.

Shame on me for taking such risks with her personal safety!! Letting her outdoors..walking to school...climbing trees....take away my 'mother license'!!!!:)

One more thing....when I was in high school our band director had 'roving' hands (I played flute and he was a little too concerned with my 'breathing technique') a quick turn to the right and cracked him across the nose with the end of the flute after that my breathing was just fine I guess (lol)...eventually someone turned him in. Rumors flew. He quitely left that school and went 'elsewhere'. It did not make the news or the papers. If that happended now it would (at least here) be news for weeks.
I don't think there are significantly more gropers and molesters running around..I think we just hear about it more

[Ben63]

This thread reminds me of the Tim McGraw song "Back When"

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Jum7DsNZqO0

[tecumseh]

Look over on the Public Policy board about wiffle ball and you can see how far we have fallen from having communities.

[tecumseh]

There is a thread about what has changed since you were a kid and some discussion about loss of a sense of community. I think that is what really hits home about this article. Ms Pate wants nothing to do with the community kids and views them as a nuisance, they should be confined to their own backyard, ditto for the ultra endurance athlete, I wonder how he feels when a motorist cuts him on on his carbon frame ubercycle (damn people should share the road). Note in this article there is no talk of litter, drugs, foul language or use of the place late at night.

In years past where I grew up the neighbors would have a) ignored us b) come by a man with cocktail in hand to watch the boys play and maybe offer pointers after his day at work c) the stay at home mother would have come by and offered to have the boys use the hose in her backyard if they were thirsty. Geez I used to play touchfootball on the street all the time and the neighbors never complained. We had standing shortcuts through neighbors backyards, we played kick the can and war games and ran all over the neighborhood, everyone just accepted it.

[tecumseh]

This was a digression I was not going to post. But the police knocked on my door last night at 1:00 AM. He wanted to report that there were three junior high school kids streaking and ran up my driveway. He said a neighbor complained. Turns out it was my son and his buddies sleeping over they decided to streak down to the bus barn. I thought about it and thought, nothing malicious or mean spirited, no drugs or alcohol, heck it was exercise and doing something, what's the big deal.... actually the police officer felt kind of the same and gave them a very half hearted talk. Sometimes boys will be boys and they need to work off the energy, maybe we should just give them more prescription drugs to calm them down.

[TillyGalore]

This was a digression I was not going to post. But the police knocked on my door last night at 1:00 AM. He wanted to report that there were three junior high school kids streaking and ran up my driveway. He said a neighbor complained. Turns out it was my son and his buddies sleeping over they decided to streak down to the bus barn. I thought about it and thought, nothing malicious or mean spirited, no drugs or alcohol, heck it was exercise and doing something, what's the big deal.... actually the police officer felt kind of the same and gave them a very half hearted talk. Sometimes boys will be boys and they need to work off the energy, maybe we should just give them more prescription drugs to calm them down.

What was the neighbor doing up at 1am, watching for streaking junior high boys?

[aimo]

I would rather have naked teenagers running through the neighborhood as a joke instead of the car stereos pounding so loudly that my bones rattle. Or the guy across the street who feels it necessary to rev his motorcycle twenty times then take off doing sixty in a 35. Naked teens at 1am are bothering noone. Stereos at all hours and speeding motorcycles in busy neighborhoods bother everyone.

Damn, I'm getting old. Though these would have bugged me at 13.

[dukemomLA]

Yahoo! Streaking down the street?!? Good, harmless fun with a positive streak (pun intended) of imagination and leadership.

[Udaman]

Some one posted this above...but one thing that definitely has changed since I was a kid is this:

We didn't (thankfully) have Ritilin.

If we had, I'm sure I would have been one drugged up little kid. I hate to make blanket statements, and I'm sure there are examples where a hyper active drug is needed, but mostly I see these as an easy copyout for parents who have active kids and are too busy to try and deal with them. It's the greatest scam in pharmaceutical history, and the effect that it will have on the millions of kids on these drugs won't really be known for decades to come (and my prediction is that it will not be pretty).

You would have to tie me down before you ever got one of those drugs into one of my kids.

But that's just me....

[devildeac]

This was a digression I was not going to post. But the police knocked on my door last night at 1:00 AM. He wanted to report that there were three junior high school kids streaking and ran up my driveway. He said a neighbor complained. Turns out it was my son and his buddies sleeping over they decided to streak down to the bus barn. I thought about it and thought, nothing malicious or mean spirited, no drugs or alcohol, heck it was exercise and doing something, what's the big deal.... actually the police officer felt kind of the same and gave them a very half hearted talk. Sometimes boys will be boys and they need to work off the energy, maybe we should just give them more prescription drugs to calm them down.

any of them named OZZIE:eek::o:D?