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Thread: Ever Wonder...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Parts Unknown

    Ever Wonder...

    Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.




    Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.




    Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.




    Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.




    Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.




    Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.




    Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.




    EVER WONDER ....




    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?




    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?




    Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?




    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?




    Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?




    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?




    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?




    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?




    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?




    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?




    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?




    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!




    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?



    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?




    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?




    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?




    I hope that you've smiled at least once!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Sterling, VA
    I'd heard several of those before, but many were new and pretty good.

  3. #3
    why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

    Why do we send cargo by ship and shipment by car?

    if corn oil is made of corn, and olive oil is made of olives, what is baby oil made of?
    My Quick Smells Like French Toast.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Greenville, NC
    Another one:

    Feet smell but noses run.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Bluedawg View Post
    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
    I have wondered about that... is there a term for words that are not self-referential?

    e.g.,
    'monosyllabic' is not monosyllabic,
    'onomatopoeia' is not an onomatopoeia,
    'acronym' is not an acronym,
    'abbreviation' is not an abbreviation.

    What do you call words like that, can anyone help?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Parts Unknown
    Quote Originally Posted by snowdenscold View Post
    I'd heard several of those before, but many were new and pretty good.
    I had as well. A friend e-mailed these to me.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Atlanta, GA (Buckhead)
    The pharmacy is in the back of the store because if someone comes in to hold the place up for narcotics, for example, they'd have to go all the way through the store just to get through the front door.

    They'll tackle you - HARD - if you try this and even rough you up a little. Using a plastic gun instead of a real one though will significantly reduce the jail time and bail costs.

    -EarlJam

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Bluedawg View Post
    Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
    Are serious? Do you know how hard it is to come by a good pen? Apparently, it's very difficult because my desk is raided on a consistent basis.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Dillon, Colorado
    Quote Originally Posted by Bluedawg View Post
    Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
    A blind person might like to use the ATM from the back seat.

    There are a few more of these here.
    Between me and every ideal I always find Scheisskopfs, Peckems, Korns and Cathcarts. And that sort of changes the ideal. -- Joseph Heller

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by hurleyfor3 View Post
    A blind person might like to use the ATM from the back seat.
    I always thought this was a cost-savings/manufacturing.logistics decision. Why spend the money and make to two molds, one with buttons and one without? Then you'd have to figure out a way to route the braille buttons to walk-up ATMs and not drive-ups.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Dillon, Colorado
    Quote Originally Posted by bdh21 View Post
    I have wondered about that... is there a term for words that are not self-referential?

    e.g.,
    'monosyllabic' is not monosyllabic,
    'onomatopoeia' is not an onomatopoeia,
    'acronym' is not an acronym,
    'abbreviation' is not an abbreviation.

    What do you call words like that, can anyone help?
    Heterological
    Between me and every ideal I always find Scheisskopfs, Peckems, Korns and Cathcarts. And that sort of changes the ideal. -- Joseph Heller

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by bdh21 View Post
    I have wondered about that... is there a term for words that are not self-referential?

    e.g.,
    'monosyllabic' is not monosyllabic,
    'onomatopoeia' is not an onomatopoeia,
    'acronym' is not an acronym,
    'abbreviation' is not an abbreviation.

    What do you call words like that, can anyone help?
    Why is "palendrome" not a palendrome?

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Lexington, KY

    Smile George Carlin Rules

    Quote Originally Posted by steven52682 View Post
    why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

    Why do we send cargo by ship and shipment by car?

    if corn oil is made of corn, and olive oil is made of olives, what is baby oil made of?
    Have you been hanging out with George Carlin?

    That driveway/parkway one looks vaguely familiar.
    Last edited by Lavabe; 06-16-2008 at 10:57 PM. Reason: driveway/parkway

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavabe View Post
    Have you been hanging out with George Carlin?

    That driveway/parkway one looks vaguely familiar.

    Maybe he should now go hang out with Arsenio "Carsenio" Hall and talk about "Things that make you go hmmm."

    Where'd all the Kleenex go?

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