Worst movie

[cf-62]

If you're so deluded that you don't already hate the film, what in the director's commentary could possibly change your mind?

Sadly, I was up at 2 AM and couldn't sleep one night. Somebody gave me phantom menace for my birthday (and I don't exchange gifts). I popped it in (even bad star wars is better than something) and for a change, turned on the directors' commentary -- notice my apostrophe placement -- it is intentional. ALL the directors, Sound, Special Effects, etc. and Lucas all talk about scenes, characters, etc.

I was hoping to get some insight as to WHY oh WHY did they put all those stupid things in the movie, from Watto the flying slave owner to the Gungans to JJB. I was looking for answers that would salvage the movie for me.

What I got was worse, because they all basically admitted that all these STUPID things in the movie were just because the special effects teams wanted to do it. It was the complete opposite of what made the special effects in Star Wars special.

Back then, there were no special effects that could do what Lucas wanted for his story, so he created Industrial Light & Magic to make his own. Now IL&M have all these toys, and the creative weenies sit around and say "hey, let's animate a complete city and civiilization -- BECAUSE WE CAN! Boom, there are the Gungans.

Talk about a let down. There are no metaphors, no symbolism, no meaning to ANY of it -- just some techno-geeks (and I AM a techno-geek) flexing their microchips.

[wilson]

TENENBAUMS, people! TENENBAUMS! I didn't like it as much as lots of other people did, but I didn't hate it. I also don't hate several of the other movies mentioned here (Forrest Gump? Seriously? Communists!).
The one movie I ever saw that I hated uncomfortably throughout the screening was Gangs of New York. Daniel Day Lewis was the only redeeming quality of that film in my eyes (along with perhaps the production design). Otherwise, it's anachronistic, overwrought junk.

[DukeDevil]

1. Tron - yes, that was a fine idea, let's make a movie about being trapped in a giant computer.

Have you heard of the Matrix?


My vote for worst movie ever, so bad it's good, is Shark Attack 3, the Megalodon (or something like that).

To help the voting (and to show you a few scenes from this movie)

http://www.break.com/index/worst-movie-scenes-ever.html

[dukeblueyes]

Any of the Bourne movies.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward blah blah blah... couldn't make it past 30 minutes before I gave up on the DVD.

Die Hard 4... so stupid.

And, I agree, Cabin Boy was funny. Stupid, but funny.

[ugadevil]

Have you heard of the Matrix?

My entire freshman English class was based around those two movies, Tron and The Matrix. Our assignments were all about whether or not we can define what is real in the cyber-world.


I'll throw in a vote for Meet Joe Black. Also, party of one for "Hero"

[DukeDevil]

Really? I loved Hero...I guess that's why you said party of one.

I was excited about the forbidden kingdom until I noticed that it's going to be in english and not subtitled. I always feel like that weakens the movie.

edit: not that I think english is weak, but rather, than the actors should speak in their 1st language and that strengthens it.

Edit edit: To Genos and the philly cheese steak thread...English IS weak. (j/k)

[blublood]

Have you heard of the Matrix?

True, but if I remember correctly (and I may not since I've tried so hard to destroy those neural pathways), the whole premise of Tron was that 2 or 3 kids literally got sucked into a computer, like running around on the circuit boards. It was creepy and scary and very, very neon.

I actually don't like the Matrix that much either (too dark and visually ugly of a movie for my taste), but you do have to at least give it props that the premise is thought-provoking. Whether it's all that original or not, I would leave as a question for those of you who read sci-fi.

Also, for worst chick movies of all time, I nominate almost anything starring Jennifer Lopez! I had the misfortune to catch part of Monster-in-Law a few nights ago where the main humor in the scene seemed to revolve around her and Jane Fonda slapping each other at Jennifer Lopez's wedding. What... a... riot.

[mkirsh]

When I think of the definition of worst movie ever, I think of movies that are so painful I would need to be physically forced to watch again. That I would rather do just about anything else in the world than watch. That I'd rather stare at blank TV screen then watch. That I'd rather watch replays of UNC winning the national championship than watch.

I've got a few that fit that description for me, so I'll nominate these for consideration:

Edward Scissorhands
Howard the Duck
Nothing but Trouble
LA Story
Joe vs the Volcano
Gattaca
The Island
Sin City
Transformers
Miami Vice
Anyhting Eddie Murphy since Nutty Professor
Anything Cuba Gooding since Jerry McGuire

Bad sequels almost deserve their own category, but these are the ones that stand out among that list:
Major League 2
Rocky 5
Be Cool
Karate Kid 3
Batman 2 and beyond

The above list is pretty brutal, but for all time worst I think I'll take Edward Scissorhands. Makes me angry just thinking about it.

[bluebear]

Edward Scissorhands
Howard the Duck
Nothing but Trouble
LA Story
Joe vs the Volcano
Gattaca
The Island
Sin City
Transformers
Miami Vice
Anyhting Eddie Murphy since Nutty Professor
Anything Cuba Gooding since Jerry McGuire

Blasphemy...Joe vs. the Volcano is the greatest movie of all time

[DevilAlumna]

Blasphemy...Joe vs. the Volcano is the greatest movie of all time

Well, I wouldn't go that far, but I did think it was pretty darned good... the second time around.

Marshall: What kinda clothes do you got now?
Joe Banks: Well, I got the kind of clothes I'm wearing.
Marshall: So you got no clothes.

[Bostondevil]

Any of the Bourne movies.

And, I agree, Cabin Boy was funny. Stupid, but funny.

Oh wow, so alike and yet so different. Not like Bourne? How is that possible? I have to disagree with you there, I think Jason Bourne is the best action character since Indiana Jones.

[hc5duke]

Have you heard of the Matrix?

Ooh I'll throw in a vote for Matrix 3. 1 and 2 were decent, and I guess technologically groundbreaking and all, but the entire series is way too overhyped IMHO.

[throatybeard]

Some of the throatybeard Netflix 1-stars are:

Aria
The Blair Witch Project
Broken Flowers
Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
Feeling Minnesota
Ultimo tango a Parigi
The Skulls
Tango & Cash
The Wedding Planner


I've left off somethings I'm to embarrassed to admit that I've seen.

If there were a -1 star rating, it would have to include
From Dusk till Dawn
Once
The Way We Were


The -1 star rating is for things that make me squirt rageahol out of my ears. Frankly Butch Cassidy out to be in there too, or at least Burt Bachrach. The Way We Were is probably a -2 star, meaning I want to punch both Streisand and Redford in the ovaries.

[throatybeard]

My entire freshman English class was based around those two movies, Tron and The Matrix. Our assignments were all about whether or not we can define what is real in the cyber-world.

Funny, mine was based on Blade Runner.

Unfortunately, I didn't learn how to craft a thesis sentence until about halfway through my MA at State. UWC prioritized reader-response pieces to photographs in The Independent.

[ugadevil]

Funny, mine was based on Blade Runner.

Ahhhh yes...Blade Runner was covered in ours, along with Minority Report, and the book Neuromancer, by William Gibson.

[cato]

Ahhhh yes...Blade Runner was covered in ours, along with Minority Report, and the book Neuromancer, by William Gibson.

Was it taught by a grad student? I would get such a kick out of teaching a class based on those books/movies. I'd consider adding I Robot for an optional screening/discussion in the evening at some point during the semester.

[Duvall]

Some of the throatybeard Netflix 1-stars are:

Aria
The Blair Witch Project
Broken Flowers
Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
Feeling Minnesota
Ultimo tango a Parigi
The Skulls
Tango & Cash
The Wedding Planner


I've left off somethings I'm to embarrassed to admit that I've seen.

You've rented movies more embarrassing than The Skulls? Wow.

[Tom B.]

I've come to the conclusion that I'm one of those people who just doesn't "get" Wes Anderson movies. I saw The Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore after friends raved about them -- I thought they were OK, nothing special. Then I saw The Life Aquatic and I wanted to jab forks into my eyes. Of the movies I've seen, it might be #1 on my Least Favorite list.

[billybreen]

I've come to the conclusion that I'm one of those people who just doesn't "get" Wes Anderson movies. I saw The Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore after friends raved about them -- I thought they were OK, nothing special. Then I saw The Life Aquatic and I wanted to jab forks into my eyes. Of the movies I've seen, it might be #1 on my Least Favorite list.

Wes had an early peak and has been on a serious downslope ever since. Rushmore was the peak and is one of my favorite movies.

[wilson]

I've come to the conclusion that I'm one of those people who just doesn't "get" Wes Anderson movies. I saw The Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore after friends raved about them -- I thought they were OK, nothing special. Then I saw The Life Aquatic and I wanted to jab forks into my eyes. Of the movies I've seen, it might be #1 on my Least Favorite list.

I don't "get" them either, but I like The Life Aquatic the most of all of them because I found it to be very appealing visually. I also don't "get" The Big Lebowski. I have fallen asleep midway through the film three times.

This discussion reminds me of the "I don't get it" thread, one of my all-time DBR faves.