Completely Puzzled

[captmojo]

Today, the First Mate has left home for an out of town appointment. She has left it to me to play Suzy Homemaker. One of my duties is making up the bed.

My disillusionment comes from wondering why we have thirteen, 13, yes, count'em, thirteen pillows of various sizes, shapes and colors on our sleeping platform. What is the purpose? Is it just a female thing? What function do they provide? We don't use them. They just lay there. Every night, whosoever would be first to give up on fighting sleep, has to enter the sleep chamber and remove them, where they lay stacked on floor until next morning, only to be re-placed on the bed.

Is this some idea that has been taken up by reading Martha Stewart? Bedding catalogs? Pillow catalogs? Damn advertising execs.

I've always been a guy who considers function over style so this is very frustrating to me. Anyone who has an answer, please reply. I've got to sign off now and do the dishes.

[snowdenscold]

Today, the First Mate has left home for an out of town appointment. She has left it to me to play Suzy Homemaker. One of my duties is making up the bed.

My disillusionment comes from wondering why we have thirteen, 13, yes, count'em, thirteen pillows of various sizes, shapes and colors on our sleeping platform. What is the purpose? Is it just a female thing? What function do they provide? We don't use them. They just lay there. Every night, whosoever would be first to give up on fighting sleep, has to enter the sleep chamber and remove them, where they lay stacked on floor until next morning, only to be re-placed on the bed.

Is this some idea that has been taken up by reading Martha Stewart? Bedding catalogs? Pillow catalogs? Damn advertising execs.

I've always been a guy who considers function over style so this is very frustrating to me. Anyone who has an answer, please reply. I've got to sign off now and do the dishes.

You need to get Coupling (British version obviously), season 2, episode 3 and go to the 22 minute mark and watch from there.

EDIT: Better yet - check out what I found: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEqgxAsnQlM !

[Cavlaw]

I have forbidden my wife from adding these wasteful bits of fluff to our bed... with her permission, of course.

[Jeffrey]

My disillusionment comes from wondering why we have thirteen, 13, yes, count'em, thirteen pillows of various sizes, shapes and colors on our sleeping platform. What is the purpose? Is it just a female thing? What function do they provide?

Hi,

Each & every one of them has a purpose and is highly functional. Your lady has 13 different choices (dependent upon her desire for size, shape, and weight) to hit you with when you foolishly ask such stupid questions. No doubt what will happen to you upon her return!

Best regards,
Jeffrey

[Fish80]

I don't feel quite so bad now, we only have 9 pillows on our bed. I'll have to find a way to block my wife from reading that you have 13 pillows, otherwise I too will soon have 13. Or perhaps 14, she's quite competitive.

But here's where it gets fun. The placement of the pillows on the made bed must be very precise, and I have some kind of genetic defect rendering me incapable of appropriate pillow placement.

[colchar]

Is it just a female thing?

In a word, yes.

[Indoor66]

I don't feel quite so bad now, we only have 9 pillows on our bed. I'll have to find a way to block my wife from reading that you have 13 pillows, otherwise I too will soon have 13. Or perhaps 14, she's quite competitive.

But here's where it gets fun. The placement of the pillows on the made bed must be very precise, and I have some kind of genetic defect rendering me incapable of appropriate pillow placement.

Heck, I got rid of the wife an kept the pillows.

[TillyGalore]

Today, the First Mate has left home for an out of town appointment. She has left it to me to play Suzy Homemaker. One of my duties is making up the bed.

My disillusionment comes from wondering why we have thirteen, 13, yes, count'em, thirteen pillows of various sizes, shapes and colors on our sleeping platform. What is the purpose? Is it just a female thing? What function do they provide? We don't use them. They just lay there. Every night, whosoever would be first to give up on fighting sleep, has to enter the sleep chamber and remove them, where they lay stacked on floor until next morning, only to be re-placed on the bed.

Is this some idea that has been taken up by reading Martha Stewart? Bedding catalogs? Pillow catalogs? Damn advertising execs.

I've always been a guy who considers function over style so this is very frustrating to me. Anyone who has an answer, please reply. I've got to sign off now and do the dishes.

Clearly I have some work to do as I only have four plus a body pillow on the bed. And the body pillow is the only one taken off the bed at night, I do use the other four.

Am now adding pillows to my Christmas wish list.

Does it count that I have 7 on my couch?

[captmojo]

Clearly I have some work to do as I only have four plus a body pillow on the bed. And the body pillow is the only one taken off the bed at night, I do use the other four.

Am now adding pillows to my Christmas wish list.

Does it count that I have 7 on my couch?

One of ours is a body pillow. So, 12, plus the body one. They take up over half the surface area! I'm feeling better knowing I'm not alone. Perhaps a support group could be founded. (sounds redundant)

Yes. The sofa counts. You are in good company there as well.

[bjornolf]

Today, the First Mate has left home for an out of town appointment. She has left it to me to play Suzy Homemaker. One of my duties is making up the bed.

My disillusionment comes from wondering why we have thirteen, 13, yes, count'em, thirteen pillows of various sizes, shapes and colors on our sleeping platform. What is the purpose? Is it just a female thing? What function do they provide? We don't use them. They just lay there. Every night, whosoever would be first to give up on fighting sleep, has to enter the sleep chamber and remove them, where they lay stacked on floor until next morning, only to be re-placed on the bed.

Is this some idea that has been taken up by reading Martha Stewart? Bedding catalogs? Pillow catalogs? Damn advertising execs.

I've always been a guy who considers function over style so this is very frustrating to me. Anyone who has an answer, please reply. I've got to sign off now and do the dishes.

I just leave them on the floor when she's not home. Don't bother with them. Just don't tell her I told you that.

Haven't there been movies and TV shows with entire hilarious scenes devoted to the railing of men against pillows?

[TillyGalore]

Haven't there been movies and TV shows with entire hilarious scenes devoted to the railing of men against pillows?

You need to get Coupling (British version obviously), season 2, episode 3 and go to the 22 minute mark and watch from there.

EDIT: Better yet - check out what I found: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEqgxAsnQlM !

As snowdenscold mentioned you have to check out Coupling. Not just about this issue, the program is hilarious!!!!!

[Lavabe]

Clearly I have some work to do as I only have four plus a body pillow on the bed. And the body pillow is the only one taken off the bed at night, I do use the other four.

Sorry, but WHAT is a body pillow?

Lavabe

[captmojo]

Sorry, but WHAT is a body pillow?

Lavabe

Sorry I know this. It's as long as the width of the bed. I won't elaborate further.

[hurleyfor3]

Haven't there been movies and TV shows with entire hilarious scenes devoted to the railing of men against pillows?

"Where's your other hand?"
"Between two pillows."
"Those...aren't...pillows..."

[captmojo]

"Where's your other hand?"
"Between two pillows."
"Those...aren't...pillows..."

Blue moon of Kentucky, keep on shinin'.

[Clipsfan]

As snowdenscold mentioned you have to check out Coupling. Not just about this issue, the program is hilarious!!!!!

I second/third this. Coupling is a great show, although it did tail off towards the end. I don't think that BBCA is still showing it, though, as I had it on my season pass and haven't recorded any episodes for months.

[DevilAlumna]

Is it just a female thing?

To respectfully disagree with Colchar, no, it's not a female thing.

I am the proud non-owner of zero extraneous pillows, either on our bed, guest beds, or living room seating.

Frankly, maybe it's a guy trait of mine, but I don't see the purpose either, could never get those in my parents' house to look right, and find the only time I want a pillow in the living room is when I should be going to bed anyways.

[wilson]

"Where's your other hand?"
"Between two pillows."
"Those...aren't...pillows..."

GREAT MOVIE.

"I want a f&*%ing car, right f&*%ing now."

[JBDuke]

...
Haven't there been movies and TV shows with entire hilarious scenes devoted to the railing of men against pillows?

There's a scene in 2004's "Along Came Polly" with Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston, and Debra Messing where Stiller and Aniston destroy a dozen or so throw pillows as part of an attempt to get Stiller's character over his pending divorce.

[merry]

To respectfully disagree with Colchar, no, it's not a female thing.

I am the proud non-owner of zero extraneous pillows, either on our bed, guest beds, or living room seating.

Frankly, maybe it's a guy trait of mine, but I don't see the purpose either, could never get those in my parents' house to look right, and find the only time I want a pillow in the living room is when I should be going to bed anyways.

Same here. And one of the first things I always do in a hotel room is find some place in a corner to stack the eight-plus extra pillows that are always all over the bed and chair.