States = Heaven Game

[EarlJam]

So I'm sitting here eating Cheetos and thinking about work when something crossed my mind. I can think of two movie or song references where a state is compared to Heaven.

If we keep it to movies and songs, can ya'll think of any additional ones to add to these? I wonder how many of the 50 states can be properly referenced:

1. West Virginia = Heaven (John Denver, Country Roads)
2. Iowa = Heaven (Well, the characters in Field of Dreams thought so anyway)

-EarlJam

[wilson]

Three Dog Night (I think) had a song with the line, "Well I've never been to heaven, but I've been to Oklahoma."

[DevilAlumna]

Well, it's a bit of a stretch, but the Counting Crow's song, "Omaha" talks about someone walking on water; the big JC perhaps, who lives... in heaven?

Not that I'd ever equate Nebraska with celestial afterlife locations...

And Cheetos while you're typing? No wonder your keyboard's all funky.

[EarlJam]

Well, it's a bit of a stretch, but the Counting Crow's song, "Omaha" talks about someone walking on water; the big JC perhaps, who lives... in heaven?

Not that I'd ever equate Nebraska with celestial afterlife locations...

And Cheetos while you're typing? No wonder your keyboard's all funky.

That's cool, that's cool. Much like gymnastics and good songs by Fleetwood Mac, stretches are welcome. So far on the list we have:

1. West Virginia
2. Iowa
3. Oklahoma
4. Nebraska

-EarlJam

[hurleyfor3]

Are we going to have a list of states that have been described as hell?

[EarlJam]

Are we going to have a list of states that have been described as hell?

GREAT POINT!

Hotel California.

California = Hell.

Through this comprehensive process, and deducing states related to heaven and those related to hell, we can likely figure out the center of the entire universe.?

-EarlJam

[cato]

GREAT POINT!
California = Hell.

Nah, that's all mixed up. First, the Eagles point out that it could be Heaven or it could be Hell. Okay. But the Eagles are hardly a trustworthy source. We'll have to look for more authority on the matter. I present Robert Plant, who noted:

Made up my mind to make a new start,
Going to california with an aching in my heart.
Someone told me theres a girl out there
With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.

It is manifest that a girl with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair is heaven. Now, upon a closer look, the truth is revealed:

(girl + love in her eyes + flowers in her hair) = heaven.

(girl + love in her eyes + flowers in her hair) is in Calfornia.

Heaven is in California.

Q.E.D.

[throatybeard]

Second vote for WV as heaven.

[EarlJam]

Nah, that's all mixed up. First, the Eagles point out that it could be Heaven or it could be Hell. Okay. But the Eagles are hardly a trustworthy source. We'll have to look for more authority on the matter. I present Robert Plant, who noted:

It is manifest that a girl with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair is heaven. Now, upon a closer look, the truth is revealed:

(girl + love in her eyes + flowers in her hair) = heaven.

(girl + love in her eyes + flowers in her hair) is in Calfornia.

Heaven is in California.

Q.E.D.

Good point Cato. It does seem as though the Eagles are wishy-washy at best on the subject. You bring up a great source in Robert Plant, however, I must point something out and ask:

"Girl with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair" - I, EarlJam, have experienced this in both Georgia and North Carolina. It seems like somewhat of a vague description. I mean, had he sang, "Girl with love in her eyes, flowers in her hair, and a tattoo of a butterfly making sweet love to a kangaroo," well, that would have been more specific and would have easily distinguished California from the other states.

In short, I'm still not convinced as to California's state one way or another so for now the state is in Purgatory (sp?). Perhaps some other songs about California could help bring some clarity to the matter?

Thanks for pointing this out Cato. Let's keep exploring. We'll get to the bottom of it.

-EarlJam

[JasonEvans]

Second vote for WV as heaven.

In fairness, John Denver pretty clearly says W. Virginia is "almost heaven."

[wilson]

In fairness, John Denver pretty clearly says W. Virginia is "almost heaven."

But, as Lloyd Christmas so eloquently stated, "That John Denver's full of sh!t, man."

[Mal]

Good point Cato. It does seem as though the Eagles are wishy-washy at best on the subject. You bring up a great source in Robert Plant, however, I must point something out and ask:

"Girl with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair" - I, EarlJam, have experienced this in both Georgia and North Carolina. It seems like somewhat of a vague description. I mean, had he sang, "Girl with love in her eyes, flowers in her hair, and a tattoo of a butterfly making sweet love to a kangaroo," well, that would have been more specific and would have easily distinguished California from the other states.

In short, I'm still not convinced as to California's state one way or another so for now the state is in Purgatory (sp?). Perhaps some other songs about California could help bring some clarity to the matter?

Thanks for pointing this out Cato. Let's keep exploring. We'll get to the bottom of it.

-EarlJam

Two additional notes on the ambiguity of how California is perceived in "Going to California:"

1. The girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair, who plays guitar and cries and sings, was supposedly Joni Mitchell. Who, despite her talents and beauty, is not yet a celestial being.

2. Decidedly non-heavenly lyrics include "The sea was red and the sky was grey," "the mountains and the canyons started to tremble and shake" and most notably "it seems that the wrath of the gods got a punch on the nose and it's starting to flow, I think I might be sinking." Weird, yes. Depicting heaven, I sure hope not.

I would go with the California as purgatory theory. Practically everyone to sing about the state expresses mixed feelings in some way or another.

Wanting to add something of substance to this thread, I did a little googling and wiki-ing, and lo and behold, Texas is decidedly not heaven, and it could be argued that neither is Iowa, despite John Kinsella's claim. In the musical "State Fair," which was initially set in Iowa, there was a song added in a later version called, rather unambiguously, "This Isn't Heaven." Apparently, though, that later staging is set in Texas, instead of Iowa, so the Corn State's claim probably isn't harmed. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_Fair

Like I needed a song to tell me Texas isn't heaven.

[wilson]

Like I needed a song to tell me Texas isn't heaven.

I bet you won't say that to a Texan.

[merry]

Second vote for WV as heaven.

Here's another:

"Oh the green rolling hills of West Virginia
Are the nearest thing to heaven that I know...
Though the times are sad and drear and I cannot linger here
They'll keep me and never let me go."

[TillyGalore]

According to the country band Little Texas, "God blessed Texas with his own hand, brought down angels from the promised land." http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/l...xas-10093.html

As I was born in Texas, I have to agree with Little Texas.

So to contribute to EarlJam's thread, we can now officially link the state of Texas with heaven via lyrics

[hc5duke]

According to the country band Little Texas, "God blessed Texas with his own hand, brought down angels from the promised land." http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/l...xas-10093.html

As I was born in Texas, I have to agree with Little Texas.

So to contribute to EarlJam's thread, we can now officially link the state of Texas with heaven via lyrics

Good stuff - I remember Ford used to have this song in their commercials in Texas (the last part "[drum beats] God blessed Texas" is replaced with "Ford is the best in Texas".) Annoying but catchy since I still remember that song...

Oh yeah, I 2nd the vote for Texas

[EarlJam]

According to the country band Little Texas, "God blessed Texas with his own hand, brought down angels from the promised land." http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/l...xas-10093.html

As I was born in Texas, I have to agree with Little Texas.

So to contribute to EarlJam's thread, we can now officially link the state of Texas with heaven via lyrics

Okay, that confirms it. Texas is officially a "Heaven" state. And to the point of "almost Heaven," well I think we all can agree that no location is going to match the actual Heaven in terms of beauty, pleasentness, offerings, and property values per square-foot. So, in short, "almost" counts a positive vote for being considered a "Heaven State."

As a side note, that song, "God Blessed Texas?" I used to sing (and occassionally still DO sing), "God Blessed Chex Mix!" It works. Try it!

-EarlJam

[Mal]

My guess is if we thoroughly searched the country music lyrics universe, we could find a claim for every state south of Mason-Dixon for the Heaven state category, no?

However, what's everyone's interpretation of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" in light of this conversation? Since he went "down" to Georgia, can we infer that South Carolina, or some other state up the eastern seaboard, is Hell?

Just rilin' folks up, Wilson. Figured we'd inevitably get to said fine state on a thread like this eventually (apparently within about 10 minutes after I posted). To answer your question, no I generally wouldn't bother to discuss some of my misgivings about the Lone Star State directly with a Texan, unless the Texan in question were a member of the family Boasticus Texacanus Neverendingus.

[EarlJam]

My guess is if we thoroughly searched the country music lyrics universe, we could find a claim for every state south of Mason-Dixon for the Heaven state category, no?

However, what's everyone's interpretation of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" in light of this conversation? Since he went "down" to Georgia, can we infer that South Carolina, or some other state up the eastern seaboard, is Hell?

Just a quick thought (more later): Since Satan was behind on his "Soul Stealing" then I assume his going down to Georgia was just another leg in his business trip. He was probably in N.C., S.C., VA, and other states for the same reason he was in Georgia, just didn't have a compelling story to tell until he got to Georgia.

Who knows what state began his business trip? The bigger question to me, EarlJam, is: Why is SATAN, the big man himself, out doing all the soul stealing? Isn't that what the demons and other associates are for?

No wonder he's behind. His entire business model screams inefficiencies. Probably why he fell from grace in the first place.

What he needs is an innovative turn-key solution that will efficiently deliver soul stealing capabilities in a cost-effective manner.

I deal in solutions for commercial construction, commercial cutleries and corn dog manufacturing facilities. I can't help him/her/it with specific details of the solution, but can clearly identify the overall challenge.

-EarlJam

[DevilAlumna]

Just a quick thought (more later): Since Satan was behind on his "Soul Stealing" then I assume his going down to Georgia was just another leg in his business trip. He was probably in N.C., S.C., VA, and other states for the same reason he was in Georgia, just didn't have a compelling story to tell until he got to Georgia.

Who knows what state began his business trip? The bigger question to me, EarlJam, is: Why is SATAN, the big man himself, out doing all the soul stealing? Isn't that what the demons and other associates are for?

No wonder he's behind. His entire business model screams inefficiencies. Probably why he fell from grace in the first place.

What he needs is an innovative turn-key solution that will efficiently deliver soul stealing capabilities in a cost-effective manner.

I deal in solutions for commercial construction, commercial cutleries and corn dog manufacturing facilities. I can't help him/her/it with specific details of the solution, but can clearly identify the overall challenge.

-EarlJam

EJ, I think you're on to something. I mean, the devil went down just "looking" for a soul to steal... that implies he didn't even have a pipeline of possible soul candidates, so he could go down, steal from 2-3 earlier-identified candidates, and move on. Cearly he needs a better soul sourcing process, and perhaps a CRM system for better candidate tracking. Maybe his demons and minions should get to work on that.

He sounds like he could also use some time management coaching, as his lack of preparation and good processes is clearly leading to a less-than-ideal pool of souls and/or paying too high a price for such souls. As the song says, "he was in a bind, he was way behind, he was willing to make a deal." Any good negotiator knows you always have the advantage when you can walk away from the deal on the table; it doesn't sound like the Devil had that leverage.

Maybe the stress of the whole situation is what caused the Devil to play the fiddle under less-than-optimal conditions.

In any event, I don't think that this song allows for any determination of heavenliness (or the opposite) of any southern State or region...