Re: Baby Wise. I saw this review on Amazon which is exactly what I would say about it:
29 of 48 people found the following review helpful:
Be careful!, January 12, 2007
By Sarah J. Maine "Tuliper" (Hudsonville, MI USA) - See all my reviews
Two and a half years ago, while pregnant with my first child, I devoured this book, recommended to me by several ladies I knew. I wanted to do everything right with my son, and since my friends' babies were so sweet and had benefited greatly from the advice in this book, I was convinced that if I only applied its principles faithfully, my child would sleep through the night in a few months.
Unfortunately, this book gave me very wrong expectations of what a baby "should" do. My son, for a long time, would only be able to stay comfortably awake for 45 minutes--and then he would sleep for only 30 minutes to an hour. He would wake up from a nap, and I knew I "shouldn't" feed him because less than two hours had elapsed since his last feeding. This was so frustrating--I couldn't figure out why he wasn't operating the way this book said he should! The book says that "you (the parent) determine when a nap begins, and you determine when it ends." Well, that's a nice thought, but I used to let my poor baby cry for an hour and a half because this book said that I was in charge of when he slept and woke.
My son took 4-5 short naps a day, and would wake 2-8 times per night (without my feeding him or even picking him up to reinforce this behavior) until nearly 6 months old. Again, I cannot tell you how frustrating it was for me to read the stupid time tables in this book of what my baby should be doing when. They were no help whatsoever.
It turned out that my baby had multiple food allergies, and was reacting to the foods in my diet. He had almost constant internal distress, so no amount of "letting him cry" on my part would have done him any good. I really regret trying to follow this book's advice now. It's good for some babies, but it's arrogant to assert that this is a formula that will work for all.
Although he doesn't acknowledge the role of food allergies in the sleep habits of babies, I found Marc Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" MUCH more helpful.
Both of our children had major food allergies as infants (no allergies whatsoever today). If their mom ate any dairy (both) or soy (just our daughter) the proteins passed along in breastmilk wreaked havoc with their digestive system. So the upshot is, try Baby Wise if you must, but if it's not working consider food allergies as the source of the problem. Dairy and soy are the most common. And switching to formula will be no help at all - most are based on cow's milk protein, and you don't want your kid getting most of their protein from soy, but that's a whole 'nother topic. I've heard that there is a formula based on meat protein but it's rediculously expensive and hard to find.
The Gordog
Now that you're expecting a baby welcome to the wonderful world of free advice!
There are certain great truths to having a child:
1. You will be amazed at your capacity to love your child...but there will be days when you don't like them much!
2. Everyone has advice on how to raise your baby...but no one else is raising your baby
3. Every child is different
4. For every person who presents solid and credible evidence that you must do something there will be at least one other person who presents solid and credible evidence to show that that is the worst thing you can do
5. Babies are tougher than they look
6. Theories/shmeories the baby will do what the baby is going to do
7. Trust your instincts...no matter what...they are usually right
8. Learn to nod and say 'really?' when great aunt Hilda starts in with 'in my day...'.
8a. Learn to add raised eyebrows and a horrified look to 'really' when your friend/neighbor/co-worker tells you how they think you should be doing things
9. (almost) anything in moderation...nothing in excess
10. Bodily fluids and functions will suddenly become acceptable topics of conversation
11. You will make mistakes. Your child will survive them.
12. Run everything you hear and read about child rearing through your personal 'good sense' filter
13. Worry less - laugh more
14. Your time and your love are more valuable than anything you can buy
Windsor (aka Loni)
a wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age
This is SO true. Our son (our first) was born at the end of August and I knew I was in trouble when I got to sleep for 3 hours one night and actually felt well-rested. : )
I've never been the kind of personality who melts at the sight of babies and always wanted to be a mom, but they're just so adorable and snuggly that it makes it all worth it. Congratulations!
Not that you've asked, but I wrote this up a couple years ago when a friend had his first kid and asked.
jk's (reasonably short) "Must-Have list of Baby Stuff":
1) The bouncy seat with the vibrating motor. It really calmed both of my kids down, and let the younger sleep while congested. Which was pretty much every other week from November to March of his first year thanks to his big sister's preschool germ factory. Their pediatricians don't like to medicate infants much at all.
2) A Baby Bjorn. Wearing a baby frees up both hands.
3) A white noise generator. We have creaky floors, and they'd wake all too often otherwise. I like the one at http://www.marpac.com/soundscreen.asp - it's tunable, natural white noise, not Smarter Image electronic white noise which irritates me. But I guess I'm a snob that way.
4) Linda Ronstadt's "Dedicated to the One I Love" lullaby cd, a gift from Duke uber-fan Doug Hinds. It includes a fresh interpretation of Queen's "We Will Rock You". And any Enya music. At 7 and 4, they still go to sleep to them.
Those four we never, ever traveled without. This fifth one was for my wife:
5) A special monitor that has a pad under the crib mattress to detect motion, including breathing. It alarms if there isn't motion for 30 seconds. SWMBO worried about SIDS and is a very light sleeper under the best of circumstances. Irrational? Perhaps, but this kept her from going to look in on them every couple hours or waking up whenever she heard an odd noise. You'll learn: babies make a lot of odd noises. Whoever coined the phrase "sleeps like a baby" didn't have "quiet" in mind. "Limp" or "angelic", perhaps, but not "quiet".
6) A crib sheet that is vinyl on the bottom and fabric on top, so that, um, "stuff" doesn't get onto or into the mattress. When they got that sick (and ours did - rarely, but they did), it's really easy to change, especially at 3 am - we'd just fold it up with all the spooge inside, put on a fresh one, and go back to sleep with fingers crossed.
Everything else is mostly fluff. We never used any hi-zoot bottles, just the basic Gerber Nuk stuff. My first was a pacifier kid (she slept with at least three - one in each hand and one in her mouth. We learned that trick as she'd slowly lose them overnight. The younger is a stuffed animal kid. "Puppy" was one of his first words, though we've long since called his favorite one "Stinky Puppy". With cause.
Don't know if the list will help you (or anyone else), but I thought I'd toss it out there.
-jk