Quick! Consumable items within your reach!

[ArnieMc]

Let's see. I have:

Cashews
Scorned Woman Peanuts
Wasabi Almonds
Wasabi Peas
Wasabi Peanuts
Redskin Peanuts
Salted Peanuts
Smoked Almonds
Pistachios
Star Mints
York Peppermint Patties
Coffee

I'm currently out of Peanut Squares, Peanut Brittle, and Pecans, but they're on order.

This is all part of a plan to entice ladies into my office to eat my nuts.

[hc5duke]

Let's see. I have:

Cashews
Scorned Woman Peanuts
Wasabi Almonds
Wasabi Peas
Wasabi Peanuts
Redskin Peanuts
Salted Peanuts
Smoked Almonds
Pistachios
Star Mints
York Peppermint Patties
Coffee

I'm currently out of Peanut Squares, Peanut Brittle, and Pecans, but they're on order.

This is all part of a plan to entice ladies into my office to eat my nuts.

Ever seen Best In Show?

I used to be able to name every nut that there was. And it used to drive my mother crazy, because she used to say, "Harlan Pepper, if you don't stop naming nuts," and the joke was that we lived in Pine Nut, and I think that's what put it in my mind at that point. So she would hear me in the other room, and she'd just start yelling. I'd say, "Peanut. Hazelnut. Cashew nut. Macadamia nut." That was the one that would send her into going crazy. She'd say, "Would you stop naming nuts!" And Hubert used to be able to make the sound, he couldn't talk, but he'd go "rrrawr rrawr" and that sounded like Macadamia nut. Pine nut, which is a nut, but it's also the name of a town. Pistachio nut. Red pistachio nut. Natural, all natural white pistachio nut.

[TNTDevil]

Let's see. I have:

Cashews
Scorned Woman Peanuts
Wasabi Almonds
Wasabi Peas
Wasabi Peanuts
Redskin Peanuts
Salted Peanuts
Smoked Almonds
Pistachios
Star Mints
York Peppermint Patties
Coffee

I'm currently out of Peanut Squares, Peanut Brittle, and Pecans, but they're on order.

This is all part of a plan to entice ladies into my office to eat my nuts.

What? Do you use a vending machine as your desk?

[The Gordog]

Currently, in front of me, I have:

-One 12 oz. can of Coke
-One cup (travel mug) of coffee
-Two 1-liter bottles of water
-One sleeve of chocolate mint girl scout cookies
-Two packets of mustard
-One multi-vitamin
-One pack of Orbit spearmint chewing gum

-EarlJam

P.S. Wow, that's kind of a lot of stuff.

On the desk:
Water - 2/3rds of a 1.5 liter bottle
Dregs of coffee
1 apple
In the drawer (which I can reach by pivoting my chair without moving the position of the legs - does that count as within reach?)
Walnuts
Almonds (almost gone)
1 can of tuna - for emergency use oly - its gotta be 5 years old
a few packets of mayo, ketchup, relish, mustard
1 packet of Ken's Golden Italian Dressing
1 Black Cherry Almond Cliff Bar
2/3 of a large pack of Extra chewing gum (Cin. flavor)
6 packets of instant oatmeal (plain/unsweetened)

[EarlJam]

Let's see. I have:

Cashews
Scorned Woman Peanuts
Wasabi Almonds
Wasabi Peas
Wasabi Peanuts
Redskin Peanuts
Salted Peanuts
Smoked Almonds
Pistachios
Star Mints
York Peppermint Patties
Coffee

I'm currently out of Peanut Squares, Peanut Brittle, and Pecans, but they're on order.

This is all part of a plan to entice ladies into my office to eat my nuts.

I have so much to say about this one. But you see, last night I was hit with a DBR infraction and must tread carefully. I shall, with great temptation and difficulty, exercise proper restraint.

-EarlJam

[Shammrog]

I have so much to say about this one. But you see, last night I was hit with a DBR infraction and must tread carefully. I shall, with great temptation and difficulty, exercise proper restraint.

-EarlJam

Still bitter... After all these hours...

[EarlJam]

Still bitter... After all these hours...

Not bitter. Just trepidatious. Is that an actual word? Also, I am amphibious.

-EarlJam

[Indoor66]

Still bitter... After all these hours...

and still lonely after all these years...

[EarlJam]

and still lonely after all these years...

Still.

-Lionel Richie Jam

[Jfrosh]

Why do you have dog treats in your desk?

I get marketers bringing me in all sorts of stuff. They come up with some "catchy theme" like the "Dog Days of Summer" and drop off some nik nac like dog bisquits. I only order products from the ones who bring in chocolate!

[TillyGalore]

I only order products from the ones who bring in chocolate!

I like the way you think.

[Shammrog]

I like the way you think.

Did I mention that EarlJam is such a good basketball player, he has been dubbed "White Chocolate Thunder"?

[TillyGalore]

Did I mention that EarlJam is such a good basketball player, he has been dubbed "White Chocolate Thunder"?

Perhaps you should change your moniker to "Cupid".

[TillyGalore]

Perhaps you should change your moniker to "Cupid".

And start a web site.

[Shammrog]

And start a web site.

An excellent idea!

I can make it a whole online world! WITH A DATING SECTION...

(Earl and I already discussed a site, but you have added the dating idea. Earl - you taking notes?)

[JBDuke]

Not bitter. Just trepidatious. Is that an actual word? Also, I am amphibious.

-EarlJam

You can shoot with your left hand AND your right hand?

[EarlJam]

Did I mention that EarlJam is such a good basketball player, he has been dubbed "White Chocolate Thunder"?

Oh stop it! That was years ago when I was in the prime of my career. And don't EVEN bring up that cheesy theme song that was playing throughout EarlJam Nation...

He's EarlJam! Yeah he's all right!
He's EarlJam! He's mighty white!

He's White Chocolate!
The boy can Rockle It!

There he goes, to the hoop!
I'll take two scoops!
Of Chocolate!
Oh watch him Rockle It!

He's above you now!
Holy cow!
What's the view from down under?
Do you tremble with the THUNDER!!!!

OF CHOCOLATE!!!!???

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, EarlJam can ROCKLE IT!!!

ROCK ME NOW EJ!

---------------

Okay, just a portion of it but wow - what times those were!

-EarlJam

[hc5duke]

You can shoot with your left hand AND your right hand?

+1 for Shackelford reference

[Shammrog]

Oh stop it! That was years ago when I was in the prime of my career. And don't EVEN bring up that cheesy theme song that was playing throughout EarlJam Nation...

He's EarlJam! Yeah he's all right!
He's EarlJam! He's mighty white!

He's White Chocolate!
The boy can Rockle It!

There he goes, to the hoop!
I'll take two scoops!
Of Chocolate!
Oh watch him Rockle It!

He's above you now!
Holy cow!
What's the view from down under?
Do you tremble with the THUNDER!!!!

OF CHOCOLATE!!!!???

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, EarlJam can ROCKLE IT!!!

ROCK ME NOW EJ!

---------------

Okay, just a portion of it but wow - what times those were!

-EarlJam

He loves to block it!...
He'll pick your pocket!...
Don't you mock it!...
The Chocolate rocket!

Got what your needin'!...
The post he's feedin'!...
Soon you'll be bleedin'!...
The Chocolate rocket!

C'mon (badahdahdahdahdah) C'mon (badahdahdahdahdah)...

[captmojo]

I have so much to say about this one. But you see, last night I was hit with a DBR infraction and must tread carefully. I shall, with great temptation and difficulty, exercise proper restraint.

-EarlJam

I, I, I, I feel so dirty. My first point. I'm, I'm filled with shame. I blame myself.