Petition to build a Death Star

[Olympic Fan]

I hope nobody takes this as a PPB type post ...

Recently, the White House received a petition -- a real petition -- urging the United States to build a Death Star.

It could have been ignored, but instead the White House issued an official response. I was, in a word, awesome:

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/res...-youre-looking

Among the reasons offered:

•The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
•The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
•Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

Even the opening "This is not the petition response you're looking for" is clever

[davekay1971]

I hope nobody takes this as a PPB type post ...

Recently, the White House received a petition -- a real petition -- urging the United States to build a Death Star.

It could have been ignored, but instead the White House issued an official response. I was, in a word, awesome:

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/res...-youre-looking

Among the reasons offered:

•The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
•The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
•Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

Even the opening "This is not the petition response you're looking for" is clever

In making the assumption that a staffer in this administration is a Democrat, then I'd like to formally announce that the staffer who wrote that response, should he/she run for President, will be the first Democrat I vote for in a presidential election. Unless Shane runs first, of course.

Addendum: Paul Shawcross, chief of the White House Office of Management and Budget’s science and space branch, wrote the response. He may be my write in candidate for 2016, unless the Repubs come up with someone inspiring.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Love his Lost reference - DARPA!

and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke's arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.

[TruBlu]

Couldn't spork you again so soon, Olympic Fan, but wanted to thank you for sharing this.

Just when I have worked up a genuine dislike for our government, someone like this comes along and restores my hope that there are some actual humans there.

[juise]

Couldn't spork you again so soon, Olympic Fan, but wanted to thank you for sharing this.

Ditto!

[DevilAlumna]

Love his Lost reference - DARPA!

DARPA is real - stands for Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. They're probably most famous for their unmanned car contests.

Not to be confused with the DARMA Initiative...

[Dev11]

Couldn't spork you again so soon, Olympic Fan, but wanted to thank you for sharing this.

Just when I have worked up a genuine dislike for our government, someone like this comes along and restores my hope that there are some actual humans there.

Would you in fact call this a new hope?

[OZZIE4DUKE]

DARPA is real - stands for Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. They're probably most famous for their unmanned car contests.

Not to be confused with the DARMA Initiative...

Oops. Mea cupla. Never mind. I was confusing it with DARMA.

[moonpie23]

spicy language but eddie izzard about made me cry from laughing with this

[bjornolf]

Would you in fact call this a new hope?

And we have a winner. Nice one.

[AncientPsychicT]

DARPA is real - stands for Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. They're probably most famous for their unmanned car contests.

Not to be confused with the DARMA Initiative...

Oops. Mea cupla. Never mind. I was confusing it with DARMA.

Actually, that's not right either. It's DHARMA, with an H.

Of course, since it's been a few years, I can understand why you might have forgotten.

[theAlaskanBear]

An enterprising house staffer put a funding proposal together for up to three Death Stars. It's quite hilarious, especially if you go through and read all of the addendum.

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/...e-back/267193/