Today, Jokes

[CMS2478]

You insensitive bastard.

-EarlJam

Ha Ha Ha, I knew I could rise out of ya'....just wanted to lighten the mood after a Tar Heel win.


Dang the FSU Criminals, dang em' to heck!!!

[ForeverBlowingBubbles]

EarlJam says "Guiness is a creamy beverage?"

I hope you are asking in the same way Ron Burgandy says to Rebecca Romijn Stamos in this video "You are electric"

Guiness is a very deliciously creamy beer. Especially the head.


Mike Barkacs (beerreviews@bullz-eye.com) writes :

"Guinness does have a bit of flavor. It tastes like it smells -- like it looks even. Creamy and smooth, it starts sweet with the caramel malt. Then the roasted barley brings things to a nicely bitter finish. Very little carbonation, which is maintained even in the bottles and cans using those widgets." Mike Barkacs (beerreviews@bullz-eye.com)

[ForeverBlowingBubbles]

if you havn't seen this, you need to...

(Ron Burgandy - ESPN Interview)

[ArkieDukie]

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?







Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.

[Uncle Drew]

I e-mailed Earl my 10 favorite jokes, this was the only one I could psot here without getting banned for life...





A man from New York buys a new Ferarri Enzo and decides to drive cross country to Los Angeles. In Iowa he stops at a small diner to eat lunch and a local man pulls up on a moped. "Man that's a beautiful car", the guy on the moped says, "what kind of car is it"? The New Yorker replies, "this is a Ferarri Enzo and it's the fastest vehicle in the world you can buy"! "Wow", the Iowan says, "can I look under the hood". The New Yorker replies, "I tell ya what, I'm going in here to have lunch, I'll leave it unlocked and you can look my car over all you want". The whole time the guy from New York is having lunch the guy from Iowa is checking out the interior, looking under the hood, checking the underbody and going over the car with a fine toothed comb. The New Yorker pays for his lunch and goes outside to get back on the road. "Well", he says to the local, "I gotta be going but just remember with a little hard work you can have a car like this some day". "Thank you for letting me check your car out sir", the Iowan replies, "but I doubt I'll ever be able to afford a car like that"! The New Yorker gets in his car and decides to put on a show for the Iowa guy and screeches out of the parking lot down the road and in six seconds the Ferarri is doing eighty miles per hour. The car is cruising along and the New Yorker sees a litle blip on the horizon in his rear view mirror when all of a sudden, "zzzzzzzzoooooooom", something goes flying past him. The New Yorker speeds up to one hundred miles per hour and is shocked to pass the guy from the diner on his moped. Again he looks in his rear view mirror and sees someone way back then, "zzzzoooommmm" something goes zipping past him. He speeds the Ferarri up to one hundred fifty miles per hour and again passes the guy on his moped. The New Yorker if flying down the road and looks in his rear view mirror only to have the same thing happen yet again, "zzzzooooommm", something passes his Ferarri at an extremely high speed. The guy from New York stomps on the accelerator and gets his car up to two hundred miles per hour and sure enough he passes the Iowan on his moped. This time once he passes the moped he pulls over to the side of the road and the moped comes to a stop behind the Ferarri. The New Yorker gets out of his car and goes running up to the Iowan and says, "man I bought this car because they said it was the fastest vehicle you can buy, I've gotta ask what kind of engine do you have on that moped that will make it do two hundred miles per hour"? "Engine my ^$%^$%^$%" the guy from Iowa replies. "when you pulled off from that diner back there you got my suspenders caught in your door"!


How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the trcicky part is getting them inside th lightbulb!