Top 10 classes taken by UNLV basketball players

[Tom B.]

This is in response to the mailbag question posted on the Main Page.

I recall the t-shirt with the Top 10 classes taken by UNLV basketball players, and I'm pretty sure it was based on an actual David Letterman Top 10 list from March 12, 1991. The full list can be found here:

http://www.mudslide.net/TopTen/lnwd1991.html#March12

I had thought that one of the courses was "Sandwich Making (Final Project Required)," but that's not on the Letterman list. I may be confusing it with something else, or there may have been some differences between the t-shirt and Letterman's list. I noticed that "Subtraction, Addition's Tricky Pal" isn't on Letterman's list, but I also seem to remember it being on the shirt.

[Deslok]

Top Ten Courses for Athletes at a football factory (or something like that, from Letterman)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
10. Subtraction: Addition's Tricky Pal
9. The First 30 Pages of "A Tale of Two Cities": Foundation of
a Classic
8. Sandwich-making (final project required)
7. Alumni-owned Hotels, Resturants, and Car Dealerships: The
Interlocking Economy
6. Pre-Law Seminar: Age of Consent in the 50 States
5. The Denny's Menu: Recent Discoveries
4. The Bunny and the Wolf: Hand Shadow Workshop
3. Draw Winky
2. From "First Love" to "Looker": The Films in Which Susan Dey
Appears Naked
1. The Poetry of Hank Stram

[Duke of Nashville]

My father and I have been tryin to come up some courses that may be applied to some collegiate atheltes:


Accounting: Balancing Your Agents Checkbook
Statistics: Your Chances on the Roulette Table (PREQ. Substitution: Addition’s Tricky Pal)
Family Law: Getting Around Child Support
Composition: Handwriting Analysis (formerly known as forging documents)

Human anatomy or "why your girlfriend got pregnant"
Playboy as literature 101
Pre-art "lab", Advanced coloring book techniques
Flatulence and music theory explained

[Olympic Fan]

None of this fictional stuff is nearly as funny as the truth.

Listen to Lawrence Taylor's educational tips (that he used to stay eligible at UNC), included in his autobiography, Living on the Edge:

Page 79:
"There were a number of courses that were ready-made for football players. You know, large lecture classes, twelve hundred people or more, with two tests -- a midterm and a final -- both multiple -choice. @#%$. In those courses, you're gonna get what the guy sitting next to you gets. The only thing you have to do is remember not to copy the same name on your paper."

I love the comment "you're gonna get what the guy sitting next to you gets"

even funnier is the LT tip "The only thing you have to remember to do is not copy the same name on your paper."

Letterman's staff never came up with anything that funny.

[aimo]

I bought it at the Hideaway during halftime of the UNLV game. On the front it said Scholars versus Scumbags. I'll try to dig it out of storage.

Good times!

[SCMatt33]

Top Ten Courses for Athletes at a football factory (or something like that, from Letterman)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
10. Subtraction: Addition's Tricky Pal
9. The First 30 Pages of "A Tale of Two Cities": Foundation of
a Classic
8. Sandwich-making (final project required)
7. Alumni-owned Hotels, Resturants, and Car Dealerships: The
Interlocking Economy
6. Pre-Law Seminar: Age of Consent in the 50 States
5. The Denny's Menu: Recent Discoveries
4. The Bunny and the Wolf: Hand Shadow Workshop
3. Draw Winky
2. From "First Love" to "Looker": The Films in Which Susan Dey
Appears Naked
1. The Poetry of Hank Stram

None of this fictional stuff is nearly as funny as the truth.

Listen to Lawrence Taylor's educational tips (that he used to stay eligible at UNC), included in his autobiography, Living on the Edge:

Page 79:
"There were a number of courses that were ready-made for football players. You know, large lecture classes, twelve hundred people or more, with two tests -- a midterm and a final -- both multiple -choice. @#%$. In those courses, you're gonna get what the guy sitting next to you gets. The only thing you have to do is remember not to copy the same name on your paper."

I love the comment "you're gonna get what the guy sitting next to you gets"

even funnier is the LT tip "The only thing you have to remember to do is not copy the same name on your paper."

Letterman's staff never came up with anything that funny.

I guess the guy sitting next to LT in that pre-law class didn't do too well.

[KBCrazie]

There are variations on this theme all over the internet. Not sure what the original source was. It doesn't appear to be Letterman.

10. Philosophy: Why Don't They Spell It with an "F"?
9. Prelaw Seminar: Age of Consent in 50 States
8. Sandwich Making: A Project Course
7. Hand-Shadow Workshop
6. Subtraction: Addition's Tricky Friend
5. Cliff's Notes vs. Monarch Notes: 2 Views of the Classics
4. Hydraulic Principles of the Keg
3. The College Classroom: A Simulation
2. ABC's: An Extended Version
1. Your you-know-what from a Hole in the Ground: A Comparative Study

[94duke]

I found my T-Shirt.

DUKE vs. UNLV
March 30, 1991
Scholars vs. Scumbags

TOP TEN CLASSES TAKEN BY
UNLV'S BASKETBALL PLAYERS:

10. Investing your Illegal Recruiting Money Wisely
9. Subtraction: Addition's tricky pal
8. Alumni owned Hotels, Restaurants, and Car Dealerships:
The Interlocking Economy
7. NBA Team Mascots: Are they really big animals?
6. Naming the presidents since Kennedy
5. Sandwich-making (Final project required)
4. Nudie Paintings from the Olden Days
3. Your A*S from a Hole in the Ground: a Comparative Study
2. The Denny's Menu: Recent Discoveries

AND THE NUMBER ONE CLASS:
1. The College Classroom: a Simulation

[OldPhiKap]

After leaving school early, Michael Jordan went back and got a degree from UNC in geography.

Someone asked, "hey Mike, what'cha gonna do with a degree in geography?"

Jordan answered: "Travel."


(True story, I find it amusing for some reason).

[94duke]

I found my T-Shirt.

DUKE vs. UNLV
March 30, 1991
Scholars vs. Scumbags

TOP TEN CLASSES TAKEN BY
UNLV'S BASKETBALL PLAYERS:

10. Investing your Illegal Recruiting Money Wisely
9. Subtraction: Addition's tricky pal
8. Alumni owned Hotels, Restaurants, and Car Dealerships:
The Interlocking Economy
7. NBA Team Mascots: Are they really big animals?
6. Naming the presidents since Kennedy
5. Sandwich-making (Final project required)
4. Nudie Paintings from the Olden Days
3. Your A*S from a Hole in the Ground: a Comparative Study
2. The Denny's Menu: Recent Discoveries

AND THE NUMBER ONE CLASS:
1. The College Classroom: a Simulation

DBR gave the list from Letterman:
http://www.mudslide.net/TopTen/lnwd1991.html#March12

But the actual T-shirt was as I listed it.

[El_Diablo]

DBR gave the list from Letterman:
http://www.mudslide.net/TopTen/lnwd1991.html#March12

But the actual T-shirt was as I listed it.

Yeah, hopefully someone with the right access can update it because even though there is a lot of overlap, I think the actual t-shirt list is funnier than Letterman's. Kudos to all those who contributed to the list, and thank you for digging it up and sharing it with us.