Ok, in a somewhat despondent walk between offices yesterday, as I carefully avoided copious quantities of goose droppings on the sidewalks, a sudden channelling of Earl Jam overcame me. I began to ponder all our discussions on the EK forum of how much and why we dislike the heels. I also reflected upon our postings here about how much and why we dislike geese and I thought that it might be mildly amusing (I hope) to compare the creatures in a top 10 Letterman or DBR t-shirt type manner (with sincere and humble apologies to both). So, here it is. One person's Top Ten Reasons Why tarheels Are Like Geese (spread over several posts, of course):
10. They just look funny.
9. They are fou(w)l (but rarely get called).
8. They dive into pools, ponds and other bodies of water.
7. They shuffle (or waddle) their feet.
6. They frighten young children.
5. They are loud and can be incredibly annoying, especially when they flop, err, flap around a lot.
4. They leave innumerable piles of unsightly and offensive material wherever they go.
3. You simply can't reason with them.
2. There are just too damn many of them.
and, the number one reason why tarheels are like geese...
11. They're not mammals.
12. Geese can be held scoreless in a half of basketball.
13. Tarheels, like geese, get shot down in March when they fly over Ogden, Utah.
14. Tarheels and geese have both been coached by D'oh!
15. Geese don't flock in Cameron Indoor Stadium.
16. My dog likes neither tar heels nor geese.
17. Tarheels eat wine and cheese. Geese whine.
18. Geese don't give a honk about tarheels. [edited to avoid infraction points]
19. Geese are loud when they get together in flocks (whoops, that's a difference).
20. Geese beat themselves (remember Okulaja?).
21. Speedo Guy won't root for geese and tarheels.
Last edited by Lavabe; 03-11-2009 at 05:46 AM. Reason: wine & cheese, #20, avoiding infraction points on 18
....when I get disgusted and run at them, yelling and swinging my broom, they run!
And that's the truth.
Love, Ima
Geese flap their wings for no reason.
Tarheels flap their mouths for no reason.
The leader of the flock has a HUGE honker ...
(OK I date back to the Dean era - soon we will have to explain the connection)
"Like s*** through a..." could apply in either case, though reversed.
No matter how much they poop on your yard, you still can't run them over.
Do geese honk because they don't like heels?
If I may add...
Top Signs Your Friend Might be a Tar Heel Fan
10. He slaps the floor every time “Desperate Housewives” comes on.
9. He’s been slalomn'in...off Hansbores’ nose.
8. He always orders a Mclawson with cheese and large fries with a Diet Fresca at the drive thru.
7. You find him in front of the mirror crying, “Why God, why!? Why can’t I be on the Duke squad?”
6. He’s afraid to admit that the first time he went to Dean Dome he mistook it for a Planetarium.
5. He boasts constantly about having sex with a college cheerleader, but when you ask him what school it was, he won’t tell. It was Carolina. Poor guy.
4. He’s loved Hansbore for so long that he’s suddenly attracted to him and is now “questioning” things.
3. Every time he puts on an NBA jersey, he gets hurt.
2. Everything before 2001 is a blur to him.
AND THE #1 SIGN YOUR FRIEND MIGHT BE A Tar Heel...
1. He has “Roy” embroidered on his panties.
Geese open their beaks to catch flys.
hansboro keeps his mouth open to catch flys.
They're both still honking. Annoyingly.