Shhhhhhhh...

[RelativeWays]

If you had asked me five years ago which of the following events would transpire first:

1. A person of color becoming president
2. Chinese Democracy sees a retail release
3. Arizona Cardinals win the Super Bowl
4. Cubs win the World Series
5. Clemson beats the sheep at Chapuh Heeyall


Clemson winning at UNC does seem the most likely of all, but it stands a good chance of beating only the Cubs/WS scenario.

[DukePA]

In my post title, Am I...

A) Referring to the fact that Vegas sees the Tigers as 15 point underdogs tomorrow night (I wonder if that sets some kind of record for spread between two Top 10 teams?)

B) Referring to inclement weather which might preclude getting to Franklin Street.

C) Referring to what any innocent bystander might utter to any other innocent bystander when faced with the prospect of a nekid Klem?

Answer:

D) None of the Above. The streak will never be broken. The Apocalypse is not upon us. Hell hath not frozen over. It ain't even worth talkin' about.

Also, as I feel obligated to mention every year, the deal does not involve "streaking". There are many things I do badly. Running is chief among them. I would never voluntarily choose to run. Anywhere. For anything. Even under conditions of euphoric insanity.

Walking out of the Dean Dome in January of 1989 I turned to my best friend and said, "Now I understand. Clemson will NEVER win here." My friend, assuming some self-pitying drivel tried to cheer me up...encouraging me that one day it must happen.

"No," I said, "it won't ever happen. I'm sure of it. I'm so sure of it that if such a miraculous event should ever come to pass I promise you I'll celebrate by stripping naked and hanging upside down from the sun dial in front of Morehead (planetarium)."

I'm paraphrasing, of course. At the time I probably said something like, "Shut the &#(@ UP! If wanted to hear from a @!&*!@ing Tarheel !#@!#(* I'd go back into that godforsaken mother#@$*&(@!ing joke of a gym and !#@$(*^ing !#@$(ed on of those @#&hole !@$(*#!ing cheerleaders up against the @!$#(*&!ing head of that !@#(&ing goat."

So that's the deal. No running. No streaking. Just Klem. Nekid. Dangling from the sun dial. (Which happens to sit right on Franklin Street...or at least damn close to it, as I recall...like directly across from Four Corners, maybe? It's been a long time, now.)

I may have volunteered then, or later, that I'd paint a Tiger Paw on my hind quarters. I can't recall.

(You see, when you are this ABSOLUTELY certain of something you can afford to be gratuitous about it. I can describe what I might do in any degree of detail and with all the embarassing fanfare I might be able to imagine. I'll never be held to it. The event will never happen. It's all just a game we play.)

Klemnop

Have faith! Where do I send the orange and purple paint?

[roywhite]

http://www.wunderground.com/cgi-bin/...ast?query=Hell

It'll be a cold day in _______ before Clemson wins at UNC?

There's a chance---looks like a cold day in this Michigan town, and in Chapel Hill, NC.

[sue71, esq]

Klem, we actually talked about you during Sue71's excellent adventure weekend. We all want to see you streak down Franklin Street, and we'll help bail you out!

Yes, we were discussing you and your... um... personal assets being on display. I've got my checkbook in hand...

[duketaylor]

My checkbook is out as well

[allenmurray]

Having never met Klemnop I find myself wondering if a checkbook will be sufficient to cover his assets? Or is the checkbook to cover your eyes?

Sorry, I just couldn't help it.

[JasonEvans]

If this happens... no, wait... WHEN this happens there must be pictures takes.

Though not close-up pictures. I want visual proof that it happened but not the gory details, if you catch my drift.

And I too will chip in for the bail/fine money. Heck, I bet we could have a DBR fundraiser to cover all of it Klem.

We'll take care of the cash, you take care of the nekid.

--Jason "is the line really 15 points?" Evans

[JasonEvans]

Ok, I went and checked myself. All the Vegas and online casinos have the game between 13 and 15 points -- most are at 14 or 13.5.

It is worth noting that Clemson is 7-4-1 against the spread (ATS) this year. Carolina is just 8-9. The Heels are just 2-6 ATS at home, which is not good. Clemson is 3-3 ATS on the road.

--Jason "as many have noted, it is a cold day today in Chapel (Hill) Hell" Evans

[Lavabe]

... I am not watching ANY of that game in Chapaheeya. I jinxed Clemson last year by watching it.

So there, Klemnop! Clemson wins it.

[77devil]

If this happens... no, wait... WHEN this happens there must be pictures takes.

Though not close-up pictures. I want visual proof that it happened but not the gory details, if you catch my drift.

And I too will chip in for the bail/fine money. Heck, I bet we could have a DBR fundraiser to cover all of it Klem.

We'll take care of the cash, you take care of the nekid.

--Jason "is the line really 15 points?" Evans

With digital photography and photoshop how can one be sure? This event requires first person confirmation.

[OZZIE4DUKE]

Also, as I feel obligated to mention every year, the deal does not involve "streaking".

Klemnop

But Klem, there are dozens of us who weren't there but were here when you told us of your intended streak many years ago, and collectively, if not individually, we have more memory cells telling us you DID say you were going to streak down Franklin St.

If, after hanging nekkid off the sun dial, you don't start to streak we will chase you down Franklin St. just to make our memories come true!

[Klemnop]

There's no need to get locked up in semantics. Klem. Franklin Street. Nekid. Those are the key components.

Oh yeah - and a victory!

Yet another reason to keep the streak alive: I always look forward to the days prior to the game at UNC for my designated 15 minutes of on-line celebrity for the year. I was totally bummed a couple of years back when the unbalanced rotation left Clemson without a trip to Chapel Hill. I appreciate that you all continue to humor me.

Here are the logistics for 2009: I'm in Danville, PA this week. The game is a 9:00p tip. We won't know a result until after 11:00p. If I got in the car immediately after the game I could be in Chapel Hill by 6:30 or 7:00a. 15 minutes of nekid-ness. Then the arrest. So I should be processed and in jail by 9:00a, or so. That seems like good timing. I'll need someone to "spring me from the joint" ASAP so I can boogie back to Danville for work on Friday.

[shadowfax336]

If you had asked me five years ago which of the following events would transpire first:

1. A person of color becoming president
2. Chinese Democracy sees a retail release
3. Arizona Cardinals win the Super Bowl
4. Cubs win the World Series
5. Clemson beats the sheep at Chapuh Heeyall
Clemson winning at UNC does seem the most likely of all, but it stands a good chance of beating only the Cubs/WS scenario.

Thats true only if you mean Cardinals PLAYING IN the super bowl. They're headed for a loss there And anyway, Clemson can take care of things tonight before either of those things happen.

[roywhite]

Here are the logistics for 2009: I'm in Danville, PA this week.

Klem,

I've actually spent some time in and around Danville, PA. I'll guess you might be doing some work for Geissinger Medical Center but there is some other local industry.

Not exactly a major metropolis, but they used to have a couple good bars, and also some pretty good "hoagie"/pizza places. Maybe a few cold beers will get through the game watching experience.

Good luck. We'll be rooting for the Tigers to do the unprecedented.

[weezie]

I had a chance to see Duke play at Littlejohn a few years back. Since the renovations it is a great place to watch a game -- the fans were passionate but very nice to those of us in blue.

Y'know, that's true. The Clemson fans were also the nicest at the ACC tourney last year. They seem very grateful for a little sunlight and downright respectful of the dark blue. It was a little weird...

[DukieInKansas]

Count me in on rooting for the Tigers and adding to the bail money fund when the call goes out.

[JasonEvans]

Ken Pomeroy gives Clemson a 16% chance of winning tonight.

Sagarin makes Carolina a 6 points favorite, well below the Vegas line (approx. 14).

--Jason "here is to all the experts being WRONG!" Evans

[CameronBornAndBred]

Best of luck to the Tigers, once again trying to win in the Dean Dome. They have a team that can do it. Would love to see the holes with a 3 in the loss column.

[Indoor66]

Ken Pomeroy gives Clemson a 16% chance of winning tonight.

Sagarin makes Carolina a 6 points favorite, well below the Vegas line (approx. 14).

--Jason "here is to all the experts being WRONG!" Evans

Remember, we are dealing with Deputy Dawg and the gang. They can make it happen for the Tigers.

[devildeac]

If this happens... no, wait... WHEN this happens there must be pictures takes.

Though not close-up pictures. I want visual proof that it happened but not the gory details, if you catch my drift.

And I too will chip in for the bail/fine money. Heck, I bet we could have a DBR fundraiser to cover all of it Klem.

We'll take care of the cash, you take care of the nekid.

--Jason "is the line really 15 points?" Evans

The ~15 points sounds about right. Talent difference accounting for 5 points and the other 10 points for all the extra FT hard-working Tyler makes above and beyond the # that Clemson actually takes