Random humor for my 1000th post

[UVaAmbassador]

Since we're heading into the season when these things are announced, I thought I'd share once again the 2007 Darwin Award winners:

And the glorious Winner for 2007 is:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be
robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.
He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the Honorable Mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-
cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have
a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his
car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his v ehicle to
find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
t ransporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
a dmit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered
the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that
the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. A Texas teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train
before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change.
When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and
asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving
the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got
from the drawer: $15.

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor
store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the
cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The
cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a
man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to
give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
m inutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
t he car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken
out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To
which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse f rom."

9. The Ann Arbor Michigan News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 a.m.,
flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down
because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a
food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
weren't available for breakfast.
The man, frustrated, walked away.

******THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained
for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled
up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman
said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and
plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by
mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
saying that it was the best laugh he'd had in a very long time.

You man now return to your regularly scheduled tomfoolery.

[CameronBornAndBred]

Love 'em all...After Darwin is long and forgotten for his real achievments, he will be remembered as the Patron Saint of Stupid People.

Congrats on 1000!

[bigj4194]

Thank you for the break from homework...it was quite enjoyable! and congrats on 1000!

[EarlJam]

In related news...

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...lock_to_darwin

-EJ

[EarlJam]

Also, this is very, very, very, VERY funny:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...lion_fends_off

-EJ

[rthomas]

Since we're heading into the season when these things are announced, I thought I'd share once again the 2007 Darwin Award winners:

Since you brought up Darwin, I just thought that I'd get everyone fired up to celebrate: Darwin's birthday!

http://www.darwin200.org/what-is.html

Get ready. It's unbelievable! We are going to rock the world. February 2009.