Random Rhyming

[EarlJam]

For your pleasure, I give you, random rhyming! Feel free to add to versus:


Tonight I watched Vanna, light up some vowels;
In my room in Savannah, while I filled up my bowels.
With chicken, nachos, and chocolate pie;
I was wishin' fo some ho hoes, and crispy french fries.

When out of the dark, came a scary sight;
The being said 'hark!", and I tried not to fight.
Said I'm your candy girl if you know what I mean;
Now make me some pearls, provide a shizzle scene!

All I got. Bad. Lame. Sorry.

-EJ

[2535Miles]

I was chillin my chair when along came this quake
peeped from my screen to watch the walls shake
5.8, in chino hills?
Where the funk is that man this floor needs to chill!

Sorry, mine was lame too. <sigh>

[brevity]

"Anybody want a peanut?"

[CameronBornAndBred]

I woke up this mornin', feelin mighty fine.
But the thought of the day ahead bristled my spine.
From my point of view, it looked pretty hairy.
So I called in sick, and now enjoy my bloody mary!

[pamtar]

Layin' on my air mattress with the tv on the floor.
There aint no furniture here cause we don’t live here no more.
Kashi frozen pizza and a pint of two of beer,
Getting kinda lonely, man I wish my wife was here.

My mattress losses air, as I read some Harry Potter,
I’m getting sick and tired of living like a squatter.
Just a couple more long days and I’m moving to G-Vegas.
If you can rhyme a word with that I’ll kiss your big fat angus.

[blublood]

Woke up this morning, came to work 30 minutes late
But I don't care 'cause this job makes me scrumbulate.
Now I'm rhyming wit my homies, even though we've never met
I don't do any work on account of the internet.


Hey, y'all, I never claimed to be a songwriter.

[EarlJam]

These are all awesome, beautiful!

Let it continue! Fat angus? Ha haaaaaaaaa!


I picked up my bottle, and looked at the time;
And went full throttle with the goblet of wine.
With my guitar hours later I was playing The Doors;
Alone wearing make up, naked on the floor.

With all the wine gone I turned to vodka and gin;
Came a thump at the door when cops busted in.
They spied my coffee table where I was feeding on some chowder;
‘Son, why is your nose bleeding and what is that white powder?’

I slipped on my Snoopy T-shirt as they took me to the car;
Whipped and feeling loopy as they put me behind bars.
I was trembling and fearing, as it got really heinous;
As my cellmates started peering at my bare naked anus.

-EarlJam

[wilson]

I went to Turner Field last night.
The home team has become such a fright.
By trading their slugger,
They've admitted they're buggered.
But at least football season's in sight.

[Lavabe]

I went to Turner Field last night.
The home team has become such a fright.
By trading their slugger,
They've admitted they're buggered.
But at least football season's in sight.

My friend Wilson wants football, he said
But the Failcons they play like they're dead.
With no offensive line
And defensive design
He'll wait for 09 at the Ted, instead.

[EarlJam]

My friend Wilson wants football, he said
But the Failcons they play like they're dead.
With no offensive line
And defensive design
He'll wait for 09 at the Ted, instead.

Brilliant!

[sue71, esq]

As my cellmates started peering at my bare naked anus.

-EarlJam

You just wanted people looking at your nekkid fanny.

[2535Miles]

You just wanted people looking at your nekkid fanny.

Get with program and bust some rhymes granny!

[sue71, esq]

Get with program and bust some rhymes granny!

You called me granny, that makes me so sad.
You should know better than to make me mad.
My cat is Chloe, doubles as Satan,
I'll let her loose on you, so don't be hatin'.
I'm a simple girl whose rhymes are lame
Back off, jack, what's your claim to fame?

[EarlJam]

You called me granny, that makes me so sad.
You should know better than to make me mad.
My cat is Chloe, doubles as Satan,
I'll let her loose on you, so don't be hatin'.
I'm a simple girl whose rhymes are lame
Back off, jack, what's your claim to fame?

Snap Sue, that's really good!
You rap just like you've lived in the hood!
Keepin' it real, keepin' it true;
With solid lyrics, through and through!

Yet I must say, to stay on the level;
I doubt today, that your cat's like the Devil.
Twas that the case, you'd not love her so;
You'd spray her with mace, declare her your foe.

Yes we know you love her, there is no debate;
So look far above her, towards bright pearly gates.
There you will find, no brimstone or demons;
Just God on the throne, looking like Morgan Feeman.

Like thunder of wisdom his voice shall proclaim;
It matters not that you have fortune or fame.
He'll say 'Sue, I'll tell you, what I think to be phat;"
It's my only begotten pet, it's your truely blessed CAT!

-EarlJam

[sue71, esq]

Snap Sue, that's really good!
You rap just like you've lived in the hood!
Keepin' it real, keepin' it true;
With solid lyrics, through and through!

Yet I must say, to stay on the level;
I doubt today, that your cat's like the Devil.
Twas that the case, you'd not love her so;
You'd spray her with mace, declare her your foe.

Yes we know you love her, there is no debate;
So look far above her, towards bright pearly gates.
There you will find, no brimstone or demons;
Just God on the throne, looking like Morgan Feeman.

Like thunder of wisdom his voice shall proclaim;
It matters not that you have fortune or fame.
He'll say 'Sue, I'll tell you, what I think to be phat;"
It's my only begotten pet, it's your truely blessed CAT!

-EarlJam

I love my cat. That much is true.
Thanks for not saying my rhyme is dog poo.
Back to my cat for she is my baby.
But no one ever thought that she was a lady.

I'm glad that you think so highly of her;
Maybe to you she'll snuggle up and purr.
That'd be a first, something I'd like to see,
But I know her- she'd probably charge a fee.

Enough of my cat, back to the point at hand.
Where, oh where, is 2535Miles in this land?
He called me out, granny I was labeled.
Who's he think he is, telling such fables?

A tale he spins, thinks he is the grandmaster.
But where is he now- could he run any faster?
I rose to the challenge & got praise from EarlJam.
Thanks, EJ, you are the man.

[CameronBornAndBred]

I love my cat. That much is true.
Thanks for not saying my rhyme is dog poo.
Back to my cat for she is my baby.
But no one ever thought that she was a lady.

I'm glad that you think so highly of her;
Maybe to you she'll snuggle up and purr.
That'd be a first, something I'd like to see,
But I know her- she'd probably charge a fee.

Enough of my cat, back to the point at hand.
Where, oh where, is 2535Miles in this land?
He called me out, granny I was labeled.
Who's he think he is, telling such fables?

A tale he spins, thinks he is the grandmaster.
But where is he now- could he run any faster?
I rose to the challenge & got praise from EarlJam.
Thanks, EJ, you are the man.

I bow down to you people. So does the rest under the steeple.

[wilson]

"Anybody want a peanut?"

We can all keep rhyming as long as we like. We could carry this to LTE proportions. But nobody is going to top the above rejoinder, period.

[cato]

Just a couple more long days and I’m moving to G-Vegas.
If you can rhyme a word with that I’ll kiss your big fat angus.

Does near rhyme count?

In a coupla hours we gonna hit G-Vegas
Where I know a honey that'll back stage us

[2535Miles]

You called me granny, that makes me so sad.
You should know better than to make me mad.
My cat is Chloe, doubles as Satan,
I'll let her loose on you, so don't be hatin'.
I'm a simple girl whose rhymes are lame
Back off, jack, what's your claim to fame?

What is this, are those tears I see leaking?
Get out ya tissue it was rhymes I'm seeking.
There's no cryin in this game, like in baseball I mean it
props go to brevity for bustin out the 'peanut'!

I dug on your rhymes, admit I'm impressed
But back to me before I digress
You wanna make threats
and cause me regrets?

My crazy Long style requires no claims
or silly whack rhymes to show my fame!
I got the west coast connection for all the 'q
So back the heck up or there be none for you

From brisket to fish, ribs and pork shoulder
Get it while it's hot, before it gets colder
I got tangy hot sauce, you can straight up mop with
Keepin it real I'll serve a plate as a gift

Maybe you'll dis, or bow and sorry
Either way I'm on a bbq safari
So make up your mind where you wanna land
It's all about the q, understand?

[2535Miles]

Does near rhyme count?

Of course they count
Now let me pounce
on your thread with no rhymin
that's ill, straight up poor timin