A hypothetical

[EarlJam]

Let's just say that you are god of the universe and suddenly, the fabric of the universe's outer layer opens up and this god named Faroonga walks in with powers that are obviously much greater than your own.

Then, let's say that Faroonga lifts his mighty krong and demands,

"The energy of these four creatures you have created are collectively causing vibrations resulting in natural disasters on my planet of Xing! Many are dying. You MUST eliminate one of these creatures from the face of the Earth!"

The list of creatures he provides are:

1. Rabbits
2. Ferrets
3. Otters
4. Sparrows

Now, let's again say, hypothetically of course, that god then sends his modern-day-Moses equivalent Steve Jones, to send the message to the people.

Steve comes a knockin' on your door just as you've slipped on your pajamas, polished off a bowl of puffed rice (with milk), and just got through watching C.H.I.P.s.

There is Steve. At your door, white beard, robe, all the heavenly works.

He puts the question to you. "Well (NAME), which species are you going to cast your vote for Earthly extermination?"

If all this came to pass, what would you choose?

FYI - This is a public poll.

-EarlJam

[ForeverBlowingBubbles]

Let's just say that you are god of the universe and suddenly, the fabric of the universe's outer layer opens up and this god named Faroonga walks in with powers that are obviously much greater than your own.

Then, let's say that Faroonga lifts his mighty krong and demands,

"The energy of these four creatures you have created are collectively causing vibrations resulting in natural disasters on my planet of Xing! Many are dying. You MUST eliminate one of these creatures from the face of the Earth!"

The list of creatures he provides are:

1. Rabbits
2. Ferrets
3. Otters
4. Sparrows

Now, let's again say, hypothetically of course, that god then sends his modern-day-Moses equivalent Steve Jones, to send the message to the people.

Steve comes a knockin' on your door just as you've slipped on your pajamas, polished off a bowl of puffed rice (with milk), and just got through watching C.H.I.P.s.

There is Steve. At your door, white beard, robe, all the heavenly works.

He puts the question to you. Well (NAME), which species are you going to cast your vote for Earthly extermination?

If all this came to pass, what would you choose?

FYI - This is a public poll.

-EarlJam

Sparrows... Def. the most expendable

[2535Miles]

I used to not be very fond of birds, but the last couple of times I went to the zoo I found them kind of entertaining. Since there was only one bird on the list, I voted for the ferret. Don't get me wrong, I think ferrets are cool, but there's already enough four legged critters on the list so I had to go with my least favorite.

[mph]

At the risk of offending ferret owners, that's where I settled. Rabbits gave us rabbit stew, cool nature videos, and Fatal Attraction. God's eye is on the sparrow . And, why would anyone want to get rid of an animal that can float on its back while it opens shellfish?

[hc5duke]

I used to not be very fond of birds, but the last couple of times I went to the zoo I found them kind of entertaining. Since there was only one bird on the list, I voted for the ferret. Don't get me wrong, I think ferrets are cool, but there's already enough four legged critters on the list so I had to go with my least favorite.

pretty much my train of thought. I think we can do without a couple species of the finch family (they'll just evolve some more anyway, right? :-p) if that was an option, but ferrets = just another rat we don't need. doesn't give us meat, doesn't serve any useful purpose as far as i know... KILL THE RODENT!

[CameronBornAndBred]

Nobody has ever pointed to a sparrow and said "Awww, how cute." Especially to a baby sparrow.

[ForeverBlowingBubbles]

Sparrows are always found in places where other birds dwell... I don't think you can say the same for most others. Another bird could probably fill the sparrows niche faster than anything could fill any of the others.

[2535Miles]

Nobody has ever pointed to a sparrow and said "Awww, how cute." Especially to a baby sparrow.

'Nobody' is cruel and heartless.

[CameronBornAndBred]

'Nobody' is cruel and heartless.

It's snarling at me.

[hc5duke]

It's snarling at me.

Can you blame it? *You* want to kill it!

[DevilAlumna]

At the risk of offending ferret owners, that's where I settled. Rabbits gave us rabbit stew, cool nature videos, and Fatal Attraction. God's eye is on the sparrow . And, why would anyone want to get rid of an animal that can float on its back while it opens shellfish?

<hijack>
A couple years ago, my husband's grandmother passed away (90+, lived a full life, a "good" death, if you will.) The funeral was in Spokane in December; my brother-in-law (Mr. DA's brother) and wife drove into town that morning, headed straight to the funeral home.

Somewhere along the way, they managed to whack a sparrow, which was smashed/frozen on the front license plate when they pulled into the parking lot. We helped them find a broom and clean off the carcass, then headed into the service.

Turned out, grandma was a huge fan of hymns and Christian music, so there was a half-hour of audience singing; one of the songs was "Eye upon the sparrow." Bro-in-law looked at me, and we both started to crack up! Let me tell you, my sides hurt for days afterwards, trying to hold in the guffaws; luckily, muffled laughter and tears look a lot like muffled sadness and tears, if you keep your head down. To this day, I can't hear mention of sparrows without laughing.

[2535Miles]

Can you blame it? *You* want to kill it!

LOL, you beat me to it.

[CameronBornAndBred]

Can you blame it? *You* want to kill it!

LOL! I don't want to kill it, my inner-ferret does. Self preservation.

[2535Miles]

<hijack>
A couple years ago, my husband's grandmother passed away (90+, lived a full life, a "good" death, if you will.) The funeral was in Spokane in December; my brother-in-law (Mr. DA's brother) and wife drove into town that morning, headed straight to the funeral home.

Somewhere along the way, they managed to whack a sparrow, which was smashed/frozen on the front license plate when they pulled into the parking lot. We helped them find a broom and clean off the carcass, then headed into the service.

Turned out, grandma was a huge fan of hymns and Christian music, so there was a half-hour of audience singing; one of the songs was "Eye upon the sparrow." Bro-in-law looked at me, and we both started to crack up! Let me tell you, my sides hurt for days afterwards, trying to hold in the guffaws; luckily, muffled laughter and tears look a lot like muffled sadness and tears, if you keep your head down. To this day, I can't hear mention of sparrows without laughing.

What a great story. I've got the giggles just remembering all of the times I tried to stifle laughter.

[dukemomLA]

Can we please add gophers and garden snails to this list??!! I'm quite fond of the critters listed for a vote.

[UVaAmbassador]

Stupidly, I voted for ferrets. Upon 10 seconds worth of additional reflection, I realize that the obvious vote is otters, who must be stopped from their inevitable ascension to the dominant species. They will make war with us for going around chopping down trees when we have perfectly good tummies to eat on.


Those guys must do sooooo many drugs to come up with this stuff.

[CathyCA]

What a great story. I've got the giggles just remembering all of the times I tried to stifle laughter.

I concur. I'm laughing right now. GREAT story, DA.

[bjornolf]

I thought you said I was God? Now I'm just some peon voting?! What a demotion! This is a BS hypothetical! I WANT TO BE GOD AGAIN!






I voted for ferrets.

[Johnboy]

One of my roommates at Duke kept a ferret. Needless to say, I voted ferret. Another of my roommates kept a tarantula. If you substituted tarantula for ferret on that poll, I'd have had to vote sparrow.

[rasputin]

If there were no wabbits, there would be no Bugs Bunny. And, of course, the greatest of all the Bugs Bunny-Elmer Fudd cartoons features Elmer singing "kill the wabbit" etc.

I voted ferrets.